Mad Love
by kimsooyeon123
Summary: Psychotherapist Stephanie Hwang secures a new job at Lee Soo Man's Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Dealing with mental disorders was never a problem for her. Until one of her patients starts to get inside her head and mess her feelings up.
1. Chapter 1

Story is not mine. Credits to unniesone at asianfanfics

...

Upon reaching my destination, I saw the black gate of the facility, making my heart beat in anticipation.

Even in the morning the place was quite intimidating. I had a feeling that at night, that place would be one the creepiest of the whole city of Seoul. The gate was large and old and some of the iron were oxidized given the rusted bits around the bars.

On the right side of the gate there was a black sign in golden letters written in both English and Korean: Welcome to Lee Soo Man's Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

Criminally Insane.

I, Tiffany Hwang, was going to work at one of the most renown mental health institutes of Seoul: Lee Soo Man's Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

My mind was a fuzz as I pictured what kind of inmates I would be dealing with.

Two guards opened the gate and I parked the car inside. It didn't take long to me been greeted by a middle aged man. He used round frame glasses and it looked the frame was sort of broken as it had a scotch tape in the middle of the spectacles to tie it together as one piece. Upon looking at this, I also noticed his nose bridge was a bit crooked as if it had been broken somehow.

"Doctor Hwang, it is a pleasure to meet you." The tall man greeted me with a bow.

"Thank you, sir, it is a pleasure to meet you too." I responded bowing to him as well. On the left side of his white coat there was a tag where I could read his basic information written down: Ho Sung. _General Supervisor._

"I have to ask, Doctor Hwang, after reading your resume, why would you leave your job to work in a place surrounded by criminals?"

My first proper job was at Seoul's Mental Health Institute for the Youth. My patients at the time were most children and occasional teenagers with traumatic experiences. Although all my previous patients had different mental disorders none of them were actually criminals.

Yet I always had pleasure studying the human mind and how many unexpected world could coexist inside one's head. I don't know why nor how this strange fascination begun, but since I was a child, reading stories about serial killers and psychopaths were my favorite hobby. They always had something pulling my curiosity forward, wondering how their mind work. I attended some criminology classes in college and courses but I didn't have any experience dealing with inmates.

But being able to actually feel the closure of a criminally insane was something I was looking forward to. So, though I knew it would be a tougher challenge than I was used to, I thought my chance to feel the real experience of working with such people have finally came; and when I heard about the vacancy for psychotherapists and psychiatrists at the Asylum I wasted no time in sending my resume.

Truth to be told I wasn't expecting to get the job though. I don't have a great background, in fact, it's been just a couple of years since I graduated and finally started working in the field. There's not much I could bring on the table other than what the Asylum already had. Or so that was I believed, but I was wrong. I got the job. Thank goodness I was wrong.

"Understanding the mind of a criminal is a tough challenge but I believe this could lead me to grow personally and professionally. I'm well aware of the consequences and the difficulties of this job but that doesn't mean I'm not ready. I'm ready, sir." I finished trying my most confident posture.

He gave me a gentle smile and I smiled back. "Come, please, I'll show you the place around."

I nodded, saying "Thank you, sir," before following the man.

My eyes moved around the place trying to know it any better. We were in the yard and it was tidy, large and beautiful. It had fountains, benches and well-trimmed trees. The fountain at the center of the field was spitting water, and judging by the only the yard itself, that place didn't really look like a penitentiary at all, let alone an Asylum.

"This is the yard. We also call the Garden Area." Ho Sung started to speak as he leaded me along the way. "Every day, for a couple of hours, the residents come to the gardens for recreation."

"All of them?" I asked curiously. It was bit risky having criminals with different mental disorders all together in one place at same time. Not because they were criminals but because some disorders could lead to violent outbursts under a second.

"The residents are split into units and sections. There are two main units: _Regular_ _Penitentiary_ and _Intensive_ _Care._ Regular Penitentiary is known as _RP_ and the criminals under it are the ones who have some sort of lucidity; psychopaths and sociopaths are often under _RP. Intensive_ _Care_ holds the patients with either extreme mental conditions or ones who may lose their sense of reality: most of them schizophrenics. We never allow patients from _RP_ meet with _IC's_. Their recreation happen in different times." He calmly explained. I nodded feeling a bit relieved.

As walking through the gardens I soon saw the two squat building standing side by side. Both of buildings were equal in structure, facade and even color. The building on the left was the only one with windows and I didn't need the man to tell me which one was the main hospital.

"The building on the right is the Penitentiary and it is where all residents stay for most of the time. Each of the residents have their own cell as they could be... _individualistic._ " I nodded at that. I may not have experience dealing with criminals but most of the children I had to care at the hospital were very delicate and for the lack of a better word...obsessive. If children could be that way let alone insane criminals. Ho Sung continued his speech. "The building on the left is the general hospital or as we call the Medical Center. All our medic team operates inside the hospital. Each doctor have their own office and all equipment needed is provided."

I had seen the pictures of the asylum on the internet and honestly I didn't expected to be that much alike given the so many fake articles one could find online. However, the hospital was indeed very clean and tech supported as the pictures showed. It was impressive.

"Here is the Refectory." He showed me the place. "Here is where the residents have their meals. As well as it happens with their recreation, the inmates are split into sections so everybody has their turn to eat." I nodded my head. "The refectory is also used by the medical team and the correctional officers in general." Oh, that was kinda nice. It meant I didn't need to bring lunch from home.

After taking the lift to second floor, while following Ho Sung, I could see some doctors have already started their sessions with their patients. I even came across one of the residents. He was wearing a gray uniform and his black hair was greasy and messy. His eyes were big and there were bags underneath indicating he's been lacking sleep. There was a tag on his chest with only his last name 'Kim' written down. One officer was escorting him as he was about to have a session with his doctor.

We finally stopped stopped at the third room of the corridor.

"This office was Doctor Young's but as he was resigned from his post, it will be now yours." I nodded in gratitude. "I should add by now that you'll also be responsible for his patients."

"Yes, sir. May I ask how many?"

"About three or four. No doctor here at the asylum have more than five patients. All the residents files are found in our archive. So before you start your sessions, we recommend you to read their profiles beforehand."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, moving on to your sessions... The length of the sessions will be up to you but none of them must exceed three hours. If the patient becomes violent of some sort, the session will be finished immediately. If you feel uneasy about the patients you may require two officers to be with you inside the room along the session to keep you safe. All sessions are recorded and kept in our archive, where you can access them at any time. Do you have any questions, Doctor?"

"Where is the archive, sir?"

"In the basement. You will also always find Officer Kwon keeping an eye on it."

"Will I have any sessions today?"

"If you will. One patient of yours is scheduled to have sessions today but we may skip it if you wish it so. First day is always a tough day."

"No, it is okay. I'm ready." I said it one more time. My voice didn't sound as confident as before but I stood still. It was usual to feel nervous about a new job. When I was at my previous job I also got nervous in my first day. I also was nervous to know all my sessions would be recorded. Back in my former job, my sessions with the kids weren't recorded and that made all the environment much cozier. But maybe because they were just youngsters. If the asylum records all sessions there must be a reason why and I wouldn't dare to say otherwise.

"I feel relieved to hear that. As it is your office, would you like to enter now?"

I nodded my head.

When he opened the door, I was a little disappointed. I honestly expected a better room. It was surely clean but that was all. The walls were plain white and there was only one table at the center. The lamp of the ceiling had a long wire cable which made the office look more like an interrogatory one. In front of the table there was a small wooden chair.

I _really_ felt the urge to redecorate the place right away. I am a psychotherapist not an inquisitor. I don't need a plain white room with nothing in it, I needed colors, books, comfy chairs and toys! Well at least it was what my former patients needed. However, as much as I want my office to be pink and cheerful, that place was an asylum for criminals not a place for children.

"Your session is scheduled to start at but if you wanna do it earlier or later, suit yourself."

"Thank you sir."

"Now, let's proceed with the inspection, shall we?"

After the inspection inside the Medical Center was over, I was on my way to the archive which was located in the large basement of the edifice. I headed there as I needed to gather the files of my first patient. Ho Sung had told me I would find officers there so it wasn't surprising when I actually spotted them sitting casually on a desk talking to one another. What it _was_ surprising to me was the fact both officers were women.

I don't know why but I never thought that, a part from the medical team, a place like that would have women. I mean, I know it is a bit of sexism but it shocked me. In my opinion, women were not supposed to be officers on a prison for insane people.

"Oh, hi!" The tallest officer greeted me, not forgetting to bow as she got out of the desk. I quickly did the same. She had long dark hair and seemed to be friends with the blonde next to her. "I'm Kwon Yuri. The officer responsible for the archive." She added.

"I'm Kim Hyoyeon. Not responsible for the archive but still an officer." The blonde introduced herself with a smile.

"Hello, nice to meet you all. I'm Tiffany Hwang. The new psychotherapist at the Asylum."

"Oh, so you are the one taking the vacancy left by Doctor Young." Yuri's black eyes widened a bit in surprise.

"Yes." I confirmed.

"And you have work today already?" Hyoyeon asked curiously.

"I have a session with a resident yes and I would like to give a first look at my patients' case files beforehand. Need a bit of knowledge about their background."

"Sure." Yuri quickly turned her way to the several metal drawers in the room. "Your patients are the same ones of Doctor Young's?"

"I was told so."

My eyes snapped wide open in subtle shock when the woman didn't took less than one minute to deliver the files. "You are very efficient, officer." I blinked a little baffled by how fast the woman was.

She grinned. "Much appreciated, Doc. But I don't do much here other than keepin' an eye on this babies, so I pretty much know where each resident file is."

"She also knows everything about the residents." Hyoyeon laughed. I frowned at that. That wasn't very ethical.

"Shut up, you moron!" Yuri punched the other girl's arm.

"Oh c'mon, all the officers at the Asylum know that."

"But you can't tell this to doctors!" True. But as long as officer Yuri doesn't take advantage of that I don't see problem at all. So I smiled back.

"It's okay." I assured. "I won't tell anyone."

"See...it's safe." Hyoyeon shrugged her shoulders.

"Thank you, Doctor Hwang."

"Thank you for the files, officer Kwon -"

"Call me Yuri, Doc." I nodded. As I was ready to leave the archive, I heard Yuri say behind my back. "Good luck today, Doctor. It's not the best day to start your new job."

"Why do you say that?" I asked curious.

"Your first patient..."

"What about?"

"Very delicate to deal with."

"You know whom resident I have a session with?"

"Sure I do. _Kim Taeyeon, Intensive_ _Care unit."_

Intensive Care unit.

Those three words seemed to echo inside my head as my legs were leading myself to my office on the second floor. I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprised by my patient when I opened the case file and saw the small picture of the resident clipped on the profile page.

Kim Taeyeon was a _woman_.

A _criminal_.

Under _Intensive_ _Care_.

It never crossed my mind that Kim Taeyeon could be a woman.

And when my patient; being escorted by two officer guards and wearing a bright orange outfit, entered my office, I gulped a little nervous. I would be lying if said I wasn't a bit scared by that woman who, though short and young, happened to be a dangerous criminal under Intensive Care.

My heart beat a bit faster than usual when the woman greeted me with a grin.

" _Hello, Doctor..."_


	2. Chapter 2

The picture clipped with the papers was completely outdated. Proved by Kim Taeyeon's actual long dark hair instead of the medium blonde of the frame. She also have lost some weight as her cheekbones were a bit more prominent now than before and the dirty baggy orange outfit of the Asylum made her look even skinnier than she actually was.

Surprisingly, Kim Taeyeon had vivid brown eyes. I kinda expected the residents to look sick or some sort of depressed, because usually that's what happens when someone is in a place like that Asylum for so long. They lose hope and their eyes only show the true state of their souls: isolation, depression, anger; sometimes only emptiness is there. But that resident... Her eyes weren't empty, no, there was a bit of curiosity, joy and innocence in her eyes that was welcoming. She didn't look like a criminal at all. I shook my head.

Never in my lifetime, I would dream that such a petite woman would belong to an Intensive Care Unit from a mental health penitentiary. I know that by being a psychotherapist I shouldn't be fooled by looks as it could mask the mind of oneself but, at the same time, I can't help feeling surprised whenever that happened.

My eyes glanced at the files above my desk just scanning the basic information about my first patient. I had already read some of the papers but I took a second skim just to memorize her basic information.

Kim Taeyeon. Age 26. Born in March, 09, 1989 in North Jeolla, Jeonju. Country: South Korea.

Marital Status: Single.

Crimes of Choice:

\- Bank Robbery

\- Murderousness

Diagnosis:

\- Shows signs of exclusion/isolation

\- Pathologycal lying

\- Severe episodes of violence if provoked anger

"Hello, Doctor." I heard the woman greetings. There was a smile in her face that looked very sincere.

"Hello, Miss Kim." I greeted her back. Doing it so I bowed my head and when I saw the two officers frowning in confusion I knew I shouldn't had done that. I was so used to bow in respect in South Korea that I just did it to a criminal. A psychotic criminal, mind you. What's the best way to start the job? Not doing what I just did.

"You've got yourself a brand new face, huh?" The woman joke. I blinked before giving her a smile. "Much improved, I dare to say."

"I'm your new psychotherapist, Miss Kim. I'm here taking the vacancy left by Doctor Young." I cared to explain. By the looks, it seemed Kim Taeyeon was in good humour. That was a good sign, maybe she would cooperate easily.

"What happened to him?"

"He quit."

"He sure did." She said that with a grin giving me an impression that she knew more than she was saying.

"Do you know anything about it?" I asked frowning my eyebrows.

"About what?

"Why Dr Young quit?"

"Probably because he was not helping." Taeyeon answered nonchalantly. "Isn't this why you are here, Doctor? To help me?" The last part came as a whisper.

"Yes, we're all here to help, Miss Kim."

"Good." She smiled.

"Do you request us to stay with you in the office, Doctor Hwang?" One of the officers asked me. He was tall and had a short jet black hair. I could read the name Lee Sungmin written in the tag located above his right chest.

Ho Sung, the General Supervisor and the warden of this place, told me that if I was feeling uncomfortable and afraid of the patients' hostility, I could request officers to stay inside my office during the session. I didn't have any guards with me while dealing with kids back at my former job, so having them there it would be a little awkward for me. Even if the patients were criminals I felt I could do a better job without the security. Also Kim Taeyeon's hands were cuffed and would still be cuffed by the entire session, so with her hands like that she couldn't be able to resort to violence.

"I don't think it's necessary, officer." I dismissed.

"Are you sure, Doctor?"

"Well, my sessions used to be private and I'd be more confident if they remain like so. It would also be more comfortable to the resident I presume…"

"I like you, Doc. May I call you Doc, Doc?"

I nodded. Most of the children at the hospital called me that way so I was used to be called Doc all the time. It didn't bother me at all. "You may."

"I really like you, Doc." Her smile grew wider.

"I tell you, Doctor, dealing with these fucking mentals can be tough." Lee Sungmin tried once again.

"Well, you would still be outside my office, no?" I hoped so. Though I didn't wanted them in my office, I'd like one near it if something goes wrong and the woman across of me becomes violent.

"Yes, ma'am."

"So, there's no need to be worried. In case of an emergency, I'll call you right away." I said relieved.

"As you wish, Doctor."

"Thank you, Officer Lee." I nodded in gratitude.

"No problem, Doctor Hwang." Both officers bowed their heads as they were ready to leave the office. However, the voice of a joyful Kim Taeyeon prevented them to do it so.

"How's your wife, Mr. Lee?" She asked with a big smile. Her voice was cheerful and interesting. She definitely was in good humor. Officer Sungmin however turned his head towards her with a very angry expression.

"Shut up, Kim!"

She didn't. "I heard she's got the leading role of a very famous musical...That's lovely! I love musicals you know...People always told me I have the talents to sing...in any case, cheers for her. I'm very happy. Proud even!" She said excitedly.

"SHUT UP!"

"What's her name again? Sa-eun? Please..tell her I do hope she breaks a leg!"

I flinched in shock as out of blue Lee Sungmin pulled Taeyeon's hair and hit her head hard against the desk making a loud noise. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FREAK!"

"Officer, I'm sorry but I strongly recommend you to not do this with the patient!" Was he fucking insane? Residing in violent acts would only make those people get worse. Especially someone who's diagnosed with anger issues. Needless to say, insane people becoming violent was way more threatening than normal people. That man...does he wanna die?

Lee Sungmin lowered his head after releasing her. "I'm sorry, Doctor." Clearly the tone he used showed he wasn't very sorry. I quickly noticed a blood stain on her forehead from the impact. A smile formed on Kim Taeyeon's lips. What the fuck? Did she enjoyed that?

"You heard the doctor, Mr. Lee...Surely we don't wanna make her angry, do we?"

"I'll kill you, Kim." He threatened.

"Oh, what a brutal man. Don't you feel bad for threatening a little girl?" She pretended to be scared.

"Not when the little girl is a fucking psycho."

"What a filthy mouth you have, officer. Mr Byun here is much more polite. You should learn with him."

I noticed the other officer in the room look a bit uncomfortable. He was very young, and there was some freshness in his face. He was a bit taller than the Taeyeon but still was smaller than Lee Sungmin and I. His name: Byun Baekhyun.

I really needed those guys out of my office. They were not only making my session be late but also provoking my patient. Ok, she was the one provoking them in first place, but still. "It's about time we start the session. Thank you, officers, for bringing Miss Kim. Now, please, you may leave."

"For sure, Doctor. Excuse us." Baekhyun bowed his head and left the room followed by Lee Sungmin. Their voices were lower but they could still be heard from the corridor as the office got silent for a while. A "fucking cunt" delivered by Lee Sungmin was audible.

"Sorry about that." I said to her. Being called a cunt is never a good thing no matter the ocasion.

She just smiled.

I shook my head once again and took a deep breath in.

"Nervous, Doctor?" She asked raising her brows.

Yes. "No." I said. I couldn't show the patient I was nervous. I had to be more professional than ever. "Just wasn't expecting this... Are you alright, Miss Kim?" I noticed a bit of blood run down from her forehead.

"This?" She asked raising her cuffed hands and pointing towards the blood. "Only tickles. You like tickles, Doc?"

"No."

"Me neither. Very unpleasant..."

I opened my bag on the desk and took a tissue out of it. Leaning forward, I pressed the tissue against Taeyeon's forehead carefully wiping off the blood. She closed her eyes when the tissue touched the wound and grimaced in pain. "You have a mouth on you, don't you? You shouldn't have said that to him."

"Have to fun once in a while here or I would go crazy."

"And your idea of fun is to offend senior officers?" I asked worriedly. Was she one of those people who like to suffer and feel pain? Maybe she was. Masochists were more common than birds these days.

"I didn't offend him, Doctor. I was just congratulating him and his wife but the gramps got mad. How could I guess?" She smirked.

"I'm pretty sure you could guess." I said when I saw the smirk in her face. "There you go. It's clean now." After I finished, I placed an adhesive bandage to prevent the blood from running down again.

"Pink maniac, Doc?" Taeyeon laughed as she saw the color of the bandage and my bag.

"Pink is a therapeutic color, Miss Kim."

"How so?"

"Nulls the anger and boost the happiness." That was...stupid. I know it sounded stupid. I was across a fucking criminal and just talked about the therapeutic effects of the color pink. That woman probably is thinking I am an idiot.

"Let's assure you won't be designing the Asylum uniforms in the future."

I laughed at that. Not really loud, nor giggles either, it was just a chuckle but it was enough to make me feel a bit more comfortable. I wasn't expecting Kim Taeyeon to be so talkative. Her papers said she had signs of isolation and that meant a shy-lonely person. Taeyeon was being the opposite. She was in a good humor. Maybe my first day won't be so tough as I was thinking.

I looked at my watch to see the time. 2:10pm. I took another deep breath, trying to relax, and then pressed the white button of the recording machine. The tape did a twirl indicating that from that time and on, the session would be fully recorded. After a couple of seconds, I was ready to start my first interview.

"Doctor Stephanie Hwang, psychotherapist. Interview #1, Resident: Kim Taeyeon."

"So am I your first, Doc?" She remarked excited. "Well, you know what they say, you never forget your first time. I'll try make memorable for you." She grinned hard. I noticed the sexual tone. It didn't bother me though. It just showed the woman was comfortable enough to make jokes. But one thing I could tell about Kim Taeyeon in first hand was how well that girl could use her voice. The intonation, the volume, the pace... It was incredible. Maybe she really could be a singer.

"It does seem that you enjoy chatting very much, Miss Kim."

"Well, when you have only the walls and your head to spend the time with, you may find yourself enjoying things you didn't know you would."

"Interesting. Would you say that you were more introspective before coming to the Asylum?"

"My personality is of that kind that's always digging its scars, you know?"

"You have many scars, Miss Kim?"

"Four." She said rising four of her fingers. "I have this one right above my right ankle that I got when I fell from the stage..."

"Stage?"

"My father ran a circus back in our hometown, Seoul..." And the lies have started.

"You're not from Seoul."

"And you're not from Korea." I blinked confused. I never said I was from Korea.

"My father is korean."

"Still you are not from Korea." She said pointing at me.

"I'm half korean."

"What's the other half? American? Canadian?" She asked curiously.

"American." I answered back. "California."

"Oh, lovely place!" Taeyeon widened her eyes in excitement.

"Been there?"

"My second scar I got when I jumped the Golden Gate bridge..."

"Your pathological lying sure gets in the way of helping you, Miss Kim."

"Well if you can't help me...then you're not doing a good job." She blurted out. What was that? How dare she says that?

"You are the last person able to judge if a doctor is doing a good job!" I was offended and didn't hide it.

Kim Taeyeon laughed out. Her giggles filled the room making me feel a bit weird. It was the first time I listened to her giggles, they were loud and very cheerful. In a funny way, it reminded of an old-woman laughter. Such a petite young girl laughing like an old-lady? That was kinda unusual. "Doctor...I'm the best person able to do it! If I say the American doctor Stephanie Hwang cured the mental Kim Taeyeon from her psychosis, oh Doc, you would be so...so..famous."

"Famous?"

"Sure! Working here at the asylum may be a good job but I reckon it is mentally exhausting...all those freaking lunatics... BUT! I show the medical team that I and your other patients are under control and BAM! You will rise to the top, Doc." She said pointing her finger to me again. "You will gain fame, notoriety, respect...isn't that why are you here after all? So you shouldn't discard me right away, Doc. You should listen to me."

"I'm listening."

Her grin became wider. "Good! So where was I? Aha! My third scar I got when my best friend..."

"Tell me about your childhood, Miss Kim." I cut it. I didn't want to hear about fake scars.

Taeyeon rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. "Awn, is this another one of those boring sessions where you ask me questions about my long lost past in hope my awful childhood would be the answer for all my issues?" She asked bored.

"Was your childhood awful?" That was the answer for most of the time. It was incredible how childhood experience can affect so much a person. If she had an awful childhood I wouldn't be surprise at all.

"It was as good as childhoods can go." She said shrugging her shoulders.

"Did you have many friends back then?"

"No. I'm shy. Never had the skills to make friends." Ok. Shy-lonely just as the papers said.

"Tell me about your parents."

"My father was a milliner..."

"You said you father ran a circus..."

"He had two jobs...busy man. Worked hard every night and day..." That woman. Fuck. All she did was lying all the time. It was really frustrating.

"This isn't going anywhere." I said frustrated.

"You are always going somewhere, Doc. Well, you would if you had any patience and listen."

"I'm not here to listen to your lies, Miss Kim."

"So you expect me to tell the truth about my life for free? Life doesn't work that way, toots. You know the sayin'...No pain no gain." Yes, maybe she was a masochist.

"Do you need to get hurt in order to tell me what I need? Because I can call the officers right away, Miss Kim, and they won't be held back this time."

"Is that a threat, Doc?" There was a big smirk on her face and I could tell the woman was having fun with that. "C'mon you are a psycho! You should do better than this!" There was excitement in her voice.

"I'm not a psycho, Miss Kim, I'm a psychotherapist."

"Is that a difference?"

"Of course it is!"

"Still...you should do better." She raised her hands and moved them like she was calling me for a fight.

"Officer Lee will be free to kill you." I tried with a firm tone.

"Gee, you are terrible in this!" She said a bit disappointed. "Threatening is an art, Doctor...You can't just begin with a death threat." Of course I could. It was the most valuable threat. But it did intragued me why she thought that way.

"Why not?" I decided to ask.

"It is the grand finale!" I raised my brows as Taeyeon talked like she was busking on streets. "You don't start with the finale, Doctor. Because when you do...you can't go any further. You see, start with a death threat only means you big offer was already done and from that point you can only go back." I got silent. That actually...made sense. "Threats must be intimidating, they are supposed to make you fear what comes next. There is no next after death, Doc. Death is the end game." She stayed quiet for a while waiting to what she said sink in my brain. "You don't start a game by the end, Doctor. It isn'tfun."

Fun. That seemed to be the word which translated Kim Taeyeon. Always wanting to have fun; making jokes; have a smirk on her face. It seemed all she cared was having fun. And her idea of fun was very twisted.

"Your idea of fun seems to be a bit...extreme."

"We all have something that is extreme, Doctor. Most of times it's there...dormant. It's like gravity really... All it needs is a little push...and BAM! It awakes! Sweeping ev'ry little thing you knew about yourself away. Making you wanting more and more and more...makes you mad, you know, Doc? Makes you wake up at the middle of the night trem'ling like a leaf."

"Really?"

"What's your extreme, Doc?" She asked curiously leaning forward and resting her arms on the table.

"My desire to help people."

"By death threatening 'em when they don't want to answer a question? I don't call it much of a help, toots. I call it a waste of time, my time, of course. But again... it's not that I can do much here at the Asylum so having a new face to chat sure makes the things a bit refreshing."

"Your files say you show signs of exclusion and isolation yet you are very talkative. Is today an especial day, Miss Kim?"

"Just trying to ease the mood. Make ourselves a little bit comfortable for one another. I can honestly say that I have more connection with you than what I had with Dr Young."

She said with her finger pointing at me. Again. It was the third time she pointed at me already. I frowned my brows at that. I couldn't stop finding it weird. Pointing is considered to be rude in South Korea, and it took me a couple of years stop doing that so I wouldn't be seen as a rude person. Taeyeon was born in South Korea, yet she used gestures and even language opposite to what was expected of her, especially because she was a woman. She talked much more like a man would. Did Taeyeon spent much more time with a man other than with girls?

"How long did you stay under his care, Miss Kim?" I asked referring to Dr Young. Though I don't think her sessions with him would be enough for her to speak like she was doing, it could give me some answers. As all the cells at the Asylum are individuals, Taeyeon absorbing a bit of his gestures, posture and talks could be possible.

"I can't really tell. Days and nights pass by but I'm not counting them. I'm don't want to go crazy."

At first I wanted to laugh.

But then I realized something.

Kim Taeyeon seems to be fond of sarcasm, irony and silly jokes. And that just showed she was more sane than I was expecting.

Ho Sung had told me that the residents under Intensive Care are often schizophrenics and people with no valid sanity. Even Yuri have said that she was difficult to handle with. And because of that, I was expecting a completely different character. As annoying as those lies could be, the trait of being ironic and sarcastic is actually a sign of a healthy mind. Most autistic and schizophrenics don't understand those figures of speech let alone tell them themselves!

So far Taeyeon hasn't shown any behavior that could write her as with no valid sanity. Besides, if she was, Dr Young would have diagnosed it.

So...If Taeyeon was sane, why she would belong to Intensive Care Unit? Was only because of her episodes of violence?

"Do you get angry quickly, Miss Kim?" I asked curiously.

"I consider myself calm, Doc." She said laughing as she made a pun with her own name.

"Do you have some sort of amnesia?"

"Amnesia?"

"Are you fully aware of yourself all times? Had you ever wondered how you've ended up somewhere or how you've done something?"

"Now that you say that, I never knew how I got my fourth scar." Ah great, that scar talk came back.

"Probably because isn't real." I blurted out.

"What isn't real?"

"Your scars. You just keep lying about them all the time."

"You think I lie all the time?"

"I'm very sure of it."

"So what's the point, Doc?" She asked rising her shoulders.

"The point of what?"

"Of this." Her eyes traveled throughout the office trying to find something at least interesting. "If you don't believe me..how could you help me?"

"The moment you stop lying about you and your past, I'll be able to help, Miss Kim."

"And how do you know I'm lying about my past?"

"Because I know."

"Because you're a psycho?"

"I'm a psychotherapist. And yes, that is the reason. I can tell when you're lying."

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can. I was trained for it."

"If you can tell when I'm lying then it also means you know when I'm telling the truth."

"That's correct."

"But you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"You are so convinced I lie all the time that if I tell you a true story, you would still think it's a lie."

"It isn't my fault, is it?"

"Of course it is. You should be able to know the difference. You were trained for it." I clenched my teeth and an arrogant smirk stuck on Kim Taeyeon's face.

"Get angry quickly, Doc?"

"No. And yes, I would be able to know the difference."

"Really?" Taeyeon raised her brows not convinced of that. "Did you believe in anything I told you so far, Doctor?"

"I believed when you told me you didn't have many friends. That you were lonely."

"Did you believe me or did you believe because it's written in my files?" Ok, I have to say, she was smart. Smarter than I thought she would be. I didn't say anything to her and the short silence that settled us have actually said what was the real answer. I didn't believe her. I just believed in her papers. Taeyeon snorted. "You believe in another doctor's words, but not mine."

"I will always believe in another doctor's words than yours, Miss Kim."

"So what's the point of our little chat, Doctor? If you rather listen to others than me?"

"I'll listen to you when you stop lying about your life."

"How do you know I am lying about my life?"

"Because it's plain obvious! You never jumped the Golden Gate bridge because you've never left Korea. Your father didn't have two jobs because if he were a circus manager he would have enough money to sustain your family and he wouldn't need a second job. Your lies are very easy to pick-up." And that was strange. The more I thought about it the stranger I found actually. Usually, pathological lying is a condition which the patients themselves have trouble distinguishing reality from their made-up stories. They believe their stories are real and it is quite hard for them to recognize as fake. Yet...Taeyeon wasn't like that.

"Do you take any medication, Miss Kim?" One explanation to it could be her medicine.

"Can't you read in my files?" She blurted out with a smirk.

"Yes, I can."

"So why don't you do it instead of askin' me?" She really knew how to hit a nerve. I tried not to show I was getting a bit upset.

"It's a way to know if you could speak true about yourself."

"If I speak true about myself then you'd have to admit you were wrong about me."

"In what way?"

"I don't lie all the time." Fair thought.

"I'm afraid to say...you're right." Her arrogant smile just got bigger. How pretentious she could be really?

"And if that's the case...it also means you can't know whether I'm lying or telling the truth."

I didn't want to tell her she could be right about that so I stood silent. She took the silent as a yes and grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"So... you have to admit you had a very shitty training, Doctor." She really knew how to hit a nerve. It was hateful. I hated that woman.

"I didn't have a shitty training, Miss Kim, but at the same time I can reckon I was wrong about you. There's no shame in that. I've met you only today and so far you haven't given me any reason whatsoever to believe you. So if I thought wrong about you, it's totally your fault." Take that.

She giggled once again. "You talk as if I should be offended by that, Doc." She was right. I was offended and tried to use a fail argument to beat her. For God's sake, Tiffany, she's a psychotic criminal. She doesn't care about being honest or not. She doesn't give a shit about me, that session or anything really. She knew she was pissing me off, hitting on my nerves, but I couldn't do the same to her.

She knew I didn't know a thing about her other than what was written on her files. Moreover, she knew what was written on her files. And she knew that I couldn't piss her off because she having violence psychosis I'd be afraid to switch that on.

I was merely her leisure time.

And when I realized that I got mad at myself.

"Thank you, Miss Kim, for your presence today." I said bluntly. She frowned her brows confused as I finished the session. "Doctor Stephanie Hwang, psychotherapist. Interview #1 with resident Kim Taeyeon is finished." After that, I pressed the button on the recording machine and the tape stopped moving.

I got up from my chair and opened the door of the office, allowing the officers to enter. "The session is finished. Please, take the resident back to her cell."

She was still confused. I thought she would be more pretentious than before but it surprised me it was quite the opposite.

"What happened, Doc?"

I looked at my watch and saw the time: 3:43. I talked to her for more than a hour and a half and I couldn't know a single thing about her. It frustrated me. "It's about time we finish it, Miss Kim. We can't be chatting forever, can we?"

"I guess not."

"So, you can leave now. I'll see you in our next session."

She got silent and just nodded her head. The two officers grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to walk by pushing her head downwards. When she passed over me, I heard her whisper "xyz 999." I blinked obliviously as I had no idea what she was talking about.

When I came back to my sit, I quickly began to pack up my things. When I finished, her files were still above my desk. My eyes dropped at the bottom of the page, where some info were written in red ink by Taeyeon's previous doctor.

Medication:

XYZ 999 – Violence Episodes Prevention ~ 3 Doses daily.

Side Effects: Sleepiness/numbness.

I couldn't help to smile.

She told me her medication when I even have forgotten I asked her about it. It was a good sign. That basically meant she could speak the truth once in a while. At the same time, it meant she was not taking medication for her pathological lying. So, how come she is so even about her lies?

Then, I understood.

Kim Taeyeon didn't have pathological lying.

She was just lying all the time because she had fun with it.

Leaving the office, my smile grew bigger. I was feeling like I have beaten Dr Young and his diagnosis. I know I shouldn't feel that way but I did. It was my first session in that place and I managed to figure something out about my patient that a previous doctor couldn't. I was wrong when I said I knew nothing about Kim Taeyeon.

I knew about her more than everyone at that Asylum.

* * *

"So how's your first day, Doctor?" Officer Yuri asked me while sipping some of her coffee. I was back at the archive to give Taeyeon's files back. The other officer who was with her before, Kim Hyoyeon, was no longer there.

"Better than expected." I replied. There was a prideful smile at my face and it didn't want to leave.

"Oh, that's good." She greeted with a warm smile. I gave the files to her and she placed them at the correct drawer in no time.

"Where's Officer Kim?"

"Afternoon shift with Siwon Choi on RP section 3." I blinked surprised. I found impressive how Kwon Yuri seemed to know everything about that place.

"You know everything about everyone here?" I decided to ask.

She chuckled. "I don't know everything, Doctor. I just happen to know some information about the place. I'm responsible for the archive and I get bored easily so I need to distract myself..."

"By reading the residents' files." I completed her sentence.

To be honest, that was kinda illegal. The patients' records must be private and only their own doctors should read them. But seeing myself in her shoes, I couldn't get angry at that. I mean, I understand why she does it, if I were her I'd probably do the same.

"Some officers come here too to talk to me. I appreciate their company. So talking to them I learn even more about the Asylum. And it's easy to know their schedule by heart after a while."

"Why do they come here?"

"I can't really tell." She shrugged off. "So Kim Taeyeon was helpful today?" She asked changing the subject.

"Not really." Thinking about the interview I had with my first patient, she didn't help me whatsoever. She just made me feel like my time was wasted. The only good thing about it was that I managed to realize she wasn't a pathological liar, which I have to say it was a good thing. "But she was very different from whom I expected."

She giggled. "Yeah, I know. It's not always that you see a cute girl under Intensive Care at a fucking asylum for criminals."

I wasn't really talking about her looks. Though I have to admit it made me feel a bit off when I first glanced at Kim Taeyeon. In my mind, most of female criminals would be big buffy lesbians full of tattoos and piercings. It was a really sexist thought but it was how I pictured it in first place. Kim Taeyeon was completely different from that picture. She looked the kind of person you would expect to see in the park seizing the sunset with a bottle of soju and some friends for company.

Yet she was a mental criminal and had no friends whatsoever. Yeah, looks really can be deceiving.

"Huh, Officer Yuri..." I started talking. I didn't know if Yuri would know the answer but out of everyone she was probably the only person to know the information. "Why Kim Taeyeon is under Intensive Care?"

She frowned confused. "What?"

"Well...Ho Sung told me the I.C is the unit reserved for criminals who are schizophrenics or the ones with no valid sanity. Kim Taeyeon however is far from having any of those conditions. She is completely aware of her surroundings and her behavior shows signs of a sane mind."

"Sane mind?"

"Medically speaking I mean. Her mental issues are not connected with those psychosis so she wasn't supposed to be under I.C."

She took a deep breath in. "She wasn't always under I.C. When Lee Soo Man was still on charge, Resident Kim was under R.P."

"Why Ho Sung moved her?"

"Ho Sung changed everything at the Asylum. Some say it was for good. Others don't like him very much. Back then, the residents used to share some cells as well."

"But that is very dangerous!"

"Yes, it is. Some _accidents_ happened and that's why he decided to make the cells individual."

"What accidents?" I asked no really sure if it was an accident in the first place. Some attitudes may seem as accidental for untrained eyes.

"Inmates hurting one another and that kinda of stuff."

"Was there any _accident_ involving Kim Taeyeon?"

"Yes, there was. It was the reason why Kim Taeyeon moved to Intensive Care."

"What did she do?"

"She killed one of her cellmates."

My eyes dropped at the floor. I gulped as my mind pictured Taeyeon killing an inmate with a gun. _Wait... she couldn't use guns, Tiffany, are you crazy?_ And then my heart pounded faster as Taeyeon was killing the inmate with her _bare_ _hands!_

"How?" I asked still looking at the floor.

"Kim Taeyeon smashed the girl's face on the wall, breaking some bones and proceeded to strangle the woman."

For unknown reasons, my hands started to tremble.

"Why she did that?" I asked in shock.

"I don't know."

"How you don't know it? You know all the information around here, no?"

She giggled, amused."Thanks, Doc. But no. I just know the information of _what_ happened. Not _why_."

"But... wasn't anyone with her to stop it? What about the officers?"

Yuri snorted. I looked at her confused. "What did you expect, Doctor? That an officer would save the resident?" Honestly, I kinda did but I got silent as she continued to talk. "No one here really cares about those psychos, Doctor. One less resident is one less maniac to deal with. Most of us hate those shitty bastards and the only reason why the Asylum still have officers is because of the damn well paying-wages. No one dreams to work in a fucked up place like this, Doc. Well, no one except doctors like you...because...you know, in the end, it still _us_ who will deal with them once your interviews are over."

I wanted to say something to counter it but I couldn't dare. She was right. The officers are the one who are with the residents 24/7, not me, not Ho Sung, not ever Lee Soo Man. And then I understood why Officer Lee was so angry at Taeyeon. It is easy to be angry when you have to face those residents all the time. They drain all your energy away.

"Look, Doctor, I know it may sound harsh but that's how we feel around here. We can't put up with those mentals so having one killing off another was for us actually a good thing."

I just nodded though I felt a bit weird. It wasn't because I was sorry for the unknown deceased inmate. It was because...Taeyeon killed someone. I mean, I know her files recorded her being a murderer and all, but she was all pretentious about having fun and joking around and even when Lee Sungmin hit her head on the table, which could trigger a moment of anger in anyone, it didn't affect Taeyeon whatsoever. To imagine she actually killed another resident _with bare hands_... how angry did she get really?

"You really don't know why she did it?" I asked Yuri once again. She shook her head.

"No, Doc. I don't know why. I just know it happened."

Knowing the reason why Taeyeon killed someone would be a great advance. It could tell a lot about herself. I mean, she wouldn't tell me anything even if I asked her, she would probably tell more lies about it. If there was a way to know it the truth, that would be great.

And then I remembered something. _"_ _She killed one of her cellmates."_

"You said Kim Taeyeon killed one of her cellmates which means there were more sharing the same cell, right?" My voice came out more interesting than I expected.

"Yes, she shared the cell with three girls. Why?" She asked frowning her brows.

"I could talk to them. Maybe they know the reason why."

"Doctor..." She called me with a firm tone and my smile disappeared for a while. "I don't think you should mess with this. It's past now and you should leave it."

"I'm not gonna mess it, Officer. This is important and there is no way I would leave it. Every event that happened in her life is crucial and it could help to treat Kim Taeyeon's psychosis."

"Really?" Her eyebrows were raised as the eyes widened in surprise.

"But of course!"

"Well, if you say so... "She sighed. "As Resident Kim killed one of the girls there are only two you can talk to. Residents Choi Sooyoung and Amber Liu."

"Units?"

"Both under R.P. But you need to talk to their doctors in firsthand."

"Could you tell me their doctors?"

"Choi Sooyoung is Doctor Yoona's patient and Amber Liu is Victoria's."

"Thanks, Yuri." I thanked bowing my head.

"No problem, Doctor."

I was about to leave the archive but I stopped midway. "Huh, can you tell me their diagnosis?" I asked a bit ashamed of myself. As I'm a different doctor I should not know details from other doctor's patients. It's slightly unethical. But as Yuri was the info queen of that place maybe I could use her to know what I needed to help _my_ patient.

"Ah, you don't worry, they are both easy to handle. Especially Sooyoung."

"Really?"

She raised her shoulders and slurped more of her coffee. "Yeah, you will be okay. As long as you don't touch her food."

I was willing to go after Doctor Yoona and talk to her right away but I knew it wasn't the best time. It was 5:45 pm and most doctors would be leaving the Asylum soon. I'd have a session tomorrow at 2:00 pm with another patient but I could use the morning to talk to Resident Choi about Taeyeon. So I decided it was better to go home and have some rest.

Thinking about my first day in general I didn't think it was a bad start. I may lack some patience with Taeyeon's smirks and smart-ass attitude but I was convinced that day by day I'd be able to keep it cool.

The next morning was cloudy and windy, and I got myself enjoying the sunlight more than I should. Now I only needed to find Doctor Yoona. According to Yuri, she is often in her office at third floor so I walked there. When I finally arrived, I knocked at the door.

She opened it and I found myself blinking for a while. Somehow, the words I have practiced didn't want to leave.

"Yes, may I help you?"

I cleared my throat. "Hi... I'm Stephanie Hwang..."

"Yes, the new psychotherapist, right?"

"That's correct."

"Im Yoona, psychologist. Nice to meet you, Doctor." And she bowed her head. I did the same.

"I heard you are responsible for Choi Sooyoung's care." I said a little bit nervous.

"Yes, that's right. Did she do something wrong?" She asked slightly concerned.

I shook my head. "Well, one of my patients is Kim Taeyeon and she used to share a cell with Choi Sooyoung before moving to where she is now."

Her brown eyes widened in surprise. "Oh yes… I- I... heard of what happened. It was an unfortunate incident."

"Yes...and I would like to know if I could talk to Resident Choi about it."

"Can't you talk to your patient?"

Even if I tried, Taeyeon would only lie about it. I needed to know from someone else.

"Kim Taeyeon is... _delicate_ _."_ I said repeating the words Yuri told me. "She's not very cooperative. I thought Choi Sooyoung could help me understand my patient a little bit better."

"Oh, I see." She said kindly smiling. "I don't have a session with her today but I could arrange one for you. Please, come in." She invited me to enter her office.

Her office was not very different from mine, except that the lamp on the ceiling was in much better state than the one in my room. "I just want to talk to her, casually, no need to make it a session of any sort." I quickly dismissed it.

"Yeah, sure." She pressed a button on a machine that was on her desk. "Could anyone bring Resident Choi Sooyoung to my office, please? Doctor Yoona's calling, room 7, third floor."

Once she finished talking she smiled at me again. "You started yesterday...how was your first day?"

"Good." I nodded.

"That's really good to hear. Especially if your first day is with Kim Taeyeon. She often give her doctors a hard time."

"How long have you been here?" I asked curiously.

"Three years."

"Wow, long time."

"Yes. Never thought I would be here for so long. One minute you want to quit but then time goes by and when you noticed it's been years. Kinda strange how much you are attached with those guys after a while."

"How long you've been with Miss Choi?"

"Two years. She had such a major improvement!" She giggled proud and happy.

It really felt good when we were able to help people to deal with their issues. When we saw a patient gradually improving their condition and behavior all the effort is well worthy.

"That's great!" I congratulated her.

"Yes, I hope you do well with your patients too."

"Thank you."

"You have sessions today?"

"Yes, I have one at 2 pm. All my sessions are on the afternoon."

"Oh that's great!"

"Is it?"

"Well, morning is when the residents are on the yard and many doctors use this time to observe how they deal with other inmate. It's a big step to know their patients a bit better." Never occurred to me but it really made sense. Maybe I could use that time to watch Taeyeon.

A knock on the door was heard and Doctor Yoona opened it, allowing the officers to come in with the inmate.

Choi Sooyoung didn't surprised me as much as Taeyeon did, but it did surprise me nonetheless. She was tall, long brown hair and skinny. Much skinnier than Taeyeon was. She was wearing a gray outfit other than the bright orange one.

"Hello, Sooyoung." Doctor Yoona greeted her. I noticed she didn't bow to her. Only an idiot would do that...and the idiot was me.

"Hello, Doctor Yoona." Well, it's been two years so maybe it was enough to make each other call for their first names. "What happened?"

"This is Doctor Hwang and she is new at the Asylum. One of her patients is a friend of yours." I chuckled. Taeyeon didn't have any friends.

"Really?"

"Yes and she needs a bit of help to know her patient better. So, could you help her?" Choi Sooyoung sat on the chair and looked at me.

"I could try."

"Good." Yoona turned to me. "As this is a talk about your patient, it is better if I leave."

"Bye, Doctor Yoona." Sooyoung said gently. It made me smile, it was nice to see the good relationship between them.

"Behave yourself, Sooyoung. I'll be just outside." I thanked Yoona once again and caught myself at the office alone with Choi Sooyoung. She really seemed nice and cooperative. I wonder what would it be her diagnosis.

"Hello, Miss Choi. How are you?"

"Not bad."

"I was told you shared a room with Kim Taeyeon..."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Taeyeon? How is she?" She asked interested.

"She is fine."

"Really?" She looked not convinced. To be fair, I didn't know how she was or what she was feeling. She looked fine on our session but that's all I could know. I had no idea how Taeyeon felt throughout the day. Maybe I really should watch her when she was on the gardens.

"She's good, Miss Choi." I ended up saying.

"It's been a while. I miss her."

I frowned confused. "You miss her? You like Taeyeon?"

"Sure I do. She is a good friend." She couldn't be a good friend. No way. She killed a freaking inmate and that woman was saying Taeyeon was a good friend? No. She is probably talking about somebody else.

"Are we talking about the same person?" I asked confused.

"Kim Taeyeon..." She started saying. "Childish large eyes, long dark hair...midget." Well, the description was kinda accurate. "She makes me laugh... It's good, Doctor. I like her."

I nodded still finding weird how that girl could like Taeyeon. "Hm… I've heard that an _incident_ _happened._ An incident involving Taeyeon and another friend of yours." Her eyes quickly became dusky.

"Yeri was not a friend."

"And why do you say that?"

"Because she wasn't. Amber and I hated her. It was good Taeyeon killed the girl off." I gulped.

"I'm here to talk about this specific incident. Can you tell me how that it happened?"

She looked at floor seeming a bit uncomfortable. "Why you wanna talk about it?"

"Because it's important! It could help Taeyeon."

She took a deep breath finally give in. "Yeri was new at the Asylum and she moved to our cell when we were all good together. I didn't know what was her problem but she liked to make us feel furious." I frowned.

"How so?"

She grimaced in anger. "Touching my food... you don't touch my food, Doctor! No one touches my food!" I blinked at that. Ok, no touching the food. "She loved to make Amber furious too. Amber is rather possessive towards Krystal you know, and there was Yeri touching Krystal and stuff."

"What about Taeyeon?"

"Taeyeon is quite calm. She never really falls for any provocation."

"So why did she killed Yeri?"

"Well, sometimes, Taeyeon mumbles when she is sleeping." Sleep talking? Was Taeyeon a sleepwalker? "And most of time what she says doesn't make any sense. But one day... she seemed to have a bad dream." Her voice became quieter and her eyes were looking at the floor. "And...she mumbled a name."

"The other day... when we were all ready to sleep, Yeri started with her provocations again. Taeyeon never really cared for what Yeri said most of times. But then, Yeri said the name. The same name Taeyeon muttered the day before. And then... Taeyeon killed her." I gulped, looking at the floor, trying to focus on what I was hearing. "It happened so fast, Doctor. In the blink of an eye, Taeyeon had killed her."

"How did she do it?" I wanted details.

"Taeyeon smashed Yeri's head on the wall and beat the crap out of her. Nose, jaw, teeth, all was gone." I felt my stomach get sick. "We never knew Taeyeon was so strong but it all took her to kill Yeri was a couple of seconds."

"Just because Yeri said "the name"?" I asked after seconds.

"Yes."

It seemed that name switched Taeyeon psychosis on. Even under medication, the triggering was strong enough to make it happening. Taeyeon's physique wasn't bulky, it was rather delicate and childish actually. She wasn't the kind of person you expect to be brutal nor even strong enough to smash someone's head on the wall; but violence psychosis was that condition where the person has no control of their strength. There is no conscience behind the act, there was nothing rational pulling them back, au contraire, it was entirely emotional. Everything pulled forward to keep going with it. Once violence psychosis is switched on, there are no strings, all there is is the urge to beat, break and kill with all their might. And their might is hell powerful. Even kids under this psychosis could be able to kill adults. Sometimes it is required more than three strong men to hold the person in place. Straight jacket is a must for those guys and they should wear it for days following the episodes. Taeyeon wasn't wearing straight jackets so it may been a while since she had an episode.

I gulped one more when I caught myself wanting to know the name. How Taeyeon could be triggered with a name only? Was it a traumatic event? I needed to know.

"What's the name?" I finally asked.

Sooyoung looked surprised by the question and shook her head. "I won't tell."

"You need to tell me, Miss Choi. I'm her doctor."

"I don't care who the fuck you are!" I winced at that. "I am not gonna tell you. All you have now is enough."

"No, it's not. Knowing the name will help her." My voice was firmer now and I really expected her to cooperate.

"Are you insane? You don't know Taeyeon, Doctor Hwang. Saying that name awakes the devil inside her."

"She's my patient, Miss Choi, and this is an important step to treat her psychosis."

"You can babble this shit with the other doctors all you want it but it won't work with me, Doctor. I'm not gonna tell you the name." Her voice was defiant.

"Why not? What is the problem you telling me that?"

"Taeyeon knows Amber and I are the only ones who know that name. If you talk to her about it, she will know one of us told you and then she will kill us. I don't wanna die, Doctor."

"That's nonsense. Taeyeon is in another unit; the cells are individuals now. There is no danger whatsoever. She won't manage to kill you, Miss Choi." I reassured her.

"Are fucking serious? Do you think anyone here is safe because we are in a fucking lonely cell? Taeyeon is one of the residents that rule this fucked up place, Doctor Hwang."

"What? What do you mean by ruling this place?" She looked away and leaned backwards on the chair.

"Nothing."

"I can give you food." I offered. I had no idea how I could give her food other than what was served in the refectory but I didn't care. That was important information. I needed to know about it. So yes, I was willing to bribe an inmate in order to know it. She raised her head and tilted it a bit unconvinced. "Good food."

"Really?"

"If you tell me everything."

"I can't tell you everything. I want to live."

"Okay, tell me why you said Kim Taeyeon rule this place..."

"Some residents you don't mess with. Taeyeon is one of those residents. In fact she and BoA are the only females with that prestige. You kinda know it's better leave them alone. Yeri didn't know that and she paid the price for it. I won't do the same mistake..."

"What do you really mean with Kim Taeyeon ruling the place? Does she have advantages? Any kinda of special treatment?"

"No. She's just a dangerous inmate. And she is good friends with Leeteuk and Donghae."

"Taeyeon doesn't have friends." I told her.

"That's what she wants you to think, Doctor. Taeyeon has friends; admirers; lovers. Some people here would kill for her. And considering most of us are murderers, killing is not a hard thing to do."

How was that possible? Was everything I knew about her a lie? Was she able to fool her previous doctor that hard? Most of what was written on her files I was finding it as a mistake. I know some misdiagnosis can happen but that was kinda intriguing.

"I'm waiting for my bibimbap." She said suddenly. I chuckled.

"Tomorrow." I really need to think how I would give her bibimbap in the first place.

"So...May I leave now, Doctor Hwang?" I nodded. She was rather cooperative I have to say. It was good to know more about Taeyeon. Especially how she seemed to be liked by many around here. I still wanna know the 'name' but Sooyoung wouldn't tell me. Maybe I should try talking to Amber about it later.

"Thank you, Miss Choi." I said it and she nodded before leaving the office.

"Was it helpful?" Yoona asked curiously when she entered the room.

"Yes, it was. Thank you, Doctor Yoona."

"You can call me Yoona. We both share the same rank, no need for doctor."

"Call me Tiffany, then."

"Tiffany? Isn't your name Stephanie?"

"Yes but I prefer Tiffany."

"Oh, okay... Tiffany." And we both smiled to each other. 'Do you know what will help you more?"

"What?"

She called with her hand and we stopped at the corridor. Through one of the windows I was able to spy Kim Taeyeon in the garden area sitting on a bench. "Talking to your patient."

My heart beat faster. I was feeling insecure about talking to her after what I found out. _Get hold of yourself, Tiffany! You are her doctor, you should not be afraid of her._ I breathed out and Yoona gave me a pat on my back as an encouragement.

I decided to go and talk to her. What she would do? Kill me? _Pff, Tiffany, she couldn't kill a doctor..._ _could she_ _?_ My heart pounded faster and faster as I saw myself getting closer to her.

Her long dark hair was blowing with the wind and she had a peaceful smile on her face. Her feet was swaying back and forth as if she was a small child who couldn't reach the floor. The only thing that screamed she was a criminal was the baggy orange uniform. Why did she became a criminal? I have met many people with mental disorders who didn't turn out to be criminals. Does "the name" have anything to do it?

"Hello, Miss Kim." I greeted her with a bow. What the heck? Again? What was wrong with me?

"What's up, toots?" She asked widening her smile. "Long time no see, huh?"

"How you are feeling today?" I asked. She frowned and looked at me with a weird expression.

"Why you are askin' me this?"

"Well, I would like to know how you feel around here."

"If I were feeling awful could you change something about it?" I was trying to be polite but that girl was so freaking rude... damn it.

"I could try." I answered sincerely. "It's my job."

"No, it's not." She dismissed it. "Doctor Young never bothered to do it."

"I'm not Dr Young." It was hateful being compared to another doctor. Every single one has their own way of approach and style and there's never the right way to do it.

"Points for you, Doc."

"May I sit?" I asked politely and she giggled. I was a bit surprised by that.

"Yeah, sure." When I heard the affirmative, I sat beside her. My eyes quickly glanced at her hands. They weren't cuffed. Were they crazy? How they could let her run free? What if she killed somebody else?

"Where are your handcuffs?" I asked trying not to show my concern.

"Passive-Agressive fancy, aren't you, Doc?"

"What?"

"C'ming down here talkin' to me, asking how I am going and stuff, trying to show you care. But then... you first question is where my handcuffs are..." She snorted. "You only care if I am handcuffed so you can feel safe, ain't it?"

"No!..I…" I gulped silently. "I'm sorry."

She chuckled. "Is this your first job, Doctor?"

"Of course it isn't! I worked at a mental hospital for two years before coming here!" I told her proud of myself.

"So why do you behave like a rookie?"

"I don't behave like a rookie!"

"So why are you afraid of me?"

I was offended. "I'm not afraid of you nor anyone around here!" When I said that my eyes caught the glance of her right hand moving towards me. I slide sideways, getting far from her.

"I won't hurt you, Doctor."

"I don't believe you."

I heard her scoffing again. "In the end, you are just like Dr Young, aren't you?" What? What did she mean?

And then she raised up from the bench. I noticed she was thinking about leaving me there and go somewhere else. Then she looked at me, squinting her eyes. I would pay anything to know what she was thinking at that moment. I saw the pink bandage from the day before was still on her forehead.

I gasped as suddenly she grabbed me by the wrists. It seemed my energy was drained because I couldn't do anything. Would she hurt me? Would she strangle me afterward?

"Stop tremblin', Doctor. It's not a good sign. It shows you are weak and that you are scared."

"I-I'm not scared!"

"Yes, you are. I can see it. It's all in your face. Doctor Hwang is a scarybunny." She mocked.

"I am not!" I retorted.

"Doctor Hwang doesn't know what to do in her first job..." She mocked again. It was making me angry.

"It's not my first job, stop saying that!"

"Doctor Hwang and her shitty training aren't enough..."

"I didn't have a shitty training!"

"So what's up with your rookieness?"

"I'm not a rookie!"

She chuckled. "Says the _psycho_ doctor who bows to criminals and apologize to them." She smirked and let go of my hands. "I was wrong, toots. You aren't like Doctor Young... At least he was smart."

I felt like I was slapped at the face. Taeyeon never really hurt me but when she said those words was like she had hit me right in the guts. I understood what she was talking about.

I was a doctor. A freaking doctor! My rank was even superior to officers in that place. And yet I was behaving like she was superior to me. Bowing to her, saying sorry, being polite... I was giving her authority. I was giving her room to be in a higher position than I was. I couldn't let it happen. If I behave like this with all other criminals, they would take me as a fool. Well Taeyeon already took me as fool... I couldn't handle another one.

My eyes went wide when Taeyeon was shoved to the ground suddenly, held by two security guards. "Oh, c'mon!" She groaned annoyed. Her arms held behind her back and her face was against the ground.

"Shut up, inmate! Doctor, are you alright?" One of them asked me.

"Yes." I said it. "It's alright, Officers. She didn't hurt me."

"See? I didn't hurt her. I can't hurt her! She's my doctor!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Officers, you may let her go. It's alright."

"Sorry, Doctor, but we are reinforced to restrain an inmate whenever they become violent." A clicking sound was audible and I saw Taeyeon being handcuffed. I felt bad. She didn't do anything wrong.

Taeyeon was dragged up then. There were some bruises on her face but not very serious. "Well, at least now I'm handcuffed..." She mocked herself. I lowered my head. "Feelin' safe, Doctor?" I gulped feeling guilty.

"Get back to your cell, inmate!"

"Won't you let me enjoy the sunlight, 'mate?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

"Fuck you and the sunlight! Go back to your cell NOW!" He pushed her and she kept walking escorted by the two guards.

"Good day, Doctor!" She said to me. I raised my head to her. "Let's hope your second day is better than the first... Don't use much of your shitty training."

My eyes glanced at the floor when she said that. I was still confused by that girl. Every time I found out something about her my head went crazy. Was she playing with me? Was everything I heard about her true? Did she really killed a person because of someone just said a _name?_ Was that petite girl one of the most dangerous inmates of the Asylum?

I breathed out. I shouldn't think too much about her though, I had other patients to see. The resident I had session with today was someone called Irene. And I really hoped she wasn't as mysterious as Taeyeon.

* * *

My breath was completely taken away when I saw Irene enter my office. I thought Taeyeon was the most non-criminal looking alike ever but I was deadly wrong. Irene was. Her long blond hair reminded me of an uplifting California girl I used to see back in my hometown.

She was wearing a grey uniform and I could tell she was under R.P. The Asylum dress their residents according to their units for safety reasons: orange for the I.C and grey for the R.P. For I could tell already, I.C patients always had two officers around them while R.P residents only needed one. Yuri even told me that sometimes some R.P patients could roam around the gardens without any supervision.

As Irene was under R.P, she was supposed to be easier to handle than Taeyeon and I honestly hoped to be so. I couldn't have two patients taking me as a fool. So, I was willing to show service that time and that I didn't have a shitty training. If I could make at least one of my patients be aware of that it was enough.

"Hello, Miss Bae." I greeted her after reading her name was Bae Ju-Hyun. I didn't bow this time and I felt proud of myself for that.

Other than her basic information such as name, date of birth and hometown there wasn't many info about her on the files. There was no description of her psychosis nor behavior whatsoever. I wasn't really sure why tough. Her crime of choice was, as stated down, drug dealing. Well, at least she wasn't a murderer.

"You're my new doctor?"

"Yes. I'm Stephanie Hwang."

"Awesome. I was tired of that old twat bitchin' around." I blinked a little uncomfortable as she took the sit in front of me.

"Hello, Doctor Hwang. Do you request our presence today?"

I recognized Lee Sungmin from the day before. "Hello, Officer Lee. How you've been today?" I asked showing him a smile.

"It's not very different from the other days, but thanks for asking, Doctor."

"Sure. And how is your wife?" I asked curiously remembering that Taeyeon said his wife got a role on a musical. I didn't know how he would react but I knew that if it was me asking, he wouldn't be so angry about it. Plus I genuinely hoped she did okay, so in my mind was a valid question.

He smiled prideful. "She's doing great. Her last performance was acclaimed by the critics."

"That's great." I smiled back upon hearing his response.

"Yes."

"Ow, fuck, please, get a room." The girl snorted with a grimace.

"Do you request our presence today, Doctor Hwang?" He asked ignoring the girl snort.

"No, I'll be alright, thank you." I dismissed and he left the room as soon as he could.

I took a moment to breath. Ok, that was the time I needed to show service. C'mon, Tiffany, you can do it. That girl must not take you as a fool. You gotta be tough.

After feeling I was ready to start the session, I pressed the white button on the recorder machine starting to record that interview. " _Psychotherapist Stephanie Hwang, Interview #2, Resident: Bae J_ _u_ _-Hyun."_

"Forget that name and call me Irene, Doctor." She quickly said upon hearing her real name.

"So, Miss Bae..."

"Please, Doctor, Bae are only the intimates." She said grinning hard. "Just Irene." She repeated.

I nodded. "Okay... So, Irene, how long you've been under Dr Young's care?" I found a bit strange he didn't write much about the patient. Only thing written was her crime choice.

"Not much, thank goodness. The old man was a pain in the ass."

"Really? How so?"

"Have you ever met a guy where everything he says or does angers you?"

"Yes."

"That's Dr Young. Didn't really fancy the cunt. Maybe our blood types weren't compatible." I wasn't worried about that. Most times, patients tend to not like their doctors simply because our jobs require to be firm and some patients don't like. It's like students not liking a teacher because the teacher scolds them for not doing homework. It wasn't very serious.

"Ok, still, you haven't told me how long you stood with him. Can you tell?"

"A couple months or so." She replied nonchalantly. "Why?"

"His notes about you are a bit vague. Did you have another doctor other than him?"

"No."

I blinked. "So...is it safe to say you came to the Asylum a couple months ago as well?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Where were you before?" If she was in another asylum I could try to search for her previous records.

"Free, roaming the streets of Seoul..."

"Dealing drugs..." I added.

Her face had a smug smile. "It happens. There's hundreds of thousands who would kill for one junk, ya know. They would kill and steal and then come to me, buy my stuff. It was awesome, Doctor. Good life, good money, good shit."

"And then you and your shit got caught..."

Her smug disappeared and I noticed she started to gnaw her teeth. "Someone set me up."

"And you ended up here? Did you do any medical examina-?"

"I ain't crazy, Doctor." She said at once, interrupting me. "I ain't of those lunatics. I was shoved in this place God knows why."

"Well, if you are here you must have some sort of unusual behavior."

"My only behavior is loving the smell of cash, Doctor. Is that unusual? Don't we all love money? Don't we all love the smell of cash so we can buy whatever shit we wanna?"

"Don't you love the smell of your narcotics too?" Narcotics could fuck someone's mind so badly, it could be one of the reasons she came to the Asylum. Not every side effects is extreme though, there are degrees of it. The lightest one could be a bit of anxiety or paranoia. It could be so light, the person couldn't even realize she had developed those.

"Hell, no, Doctor! I'm not stupid." She quickly dismissed with a grin. "You gotta use your head, Doctor, or you would end up loosing it for shit." She pointed her fingers towards her head. "Never used any junk whatsoever but as I told you before, there were loads of people who would come to me."

"What lead you into it?" How come young girls such as Irene and Taeyeon were into crime was a mystery for me. They were rather young and quite beautiful, they were supposed to go to college, find a good job, get married and have a family, not being criminals.

"Life." She shrugged her shoulders. "It's easy money, Doctor."

"Was it worthy? Have that easy money when in the end, it just led you here?"

"It's one of those little infinities life throws at you, Doctor. I had good money and good life doing it. I knew it wouldn't always be like that and I kinda knew someday someone would try to get our turf, but for a while, those moments were pure gold."

"Our turf?" I repeated when I heard she said that. "Weren't you working alone?"

She giggled. "No one works alone, Doctor. Especially in this field."

Well I had to agree, it's very hard to be alone when your job is to deal drugs. You gotta have network with others.

"And you were the only one caught?"

"Wendy and Yeri were with me too."

My heart beat faster than I could expect when I heard that name. Yeri... the girl who was killed by Taeyeon. That girl was Irene's partner. Does Irene know what happened? Does she know Yeri's murderer is also my patient? Probably not. All doctors' patients are kept secret from each other. Besides, with Taeyeon being on Intensive Care, there's little room to Irene know that I'm Taeyeon's doctor as well.

"Wendy and Yeri were your partners?" I asked controlling my voice.

"We were big. Our shit was big. It was sold as easy as an ice cream cake."

"What happened to them?"

"We all came here."

"And can you say that no one in your band has an unusual behavior?"

"Why is that important?" She asked frowning her brows. "It ain't problem of mine."

"If one of them have a psychosis, the police would think all of you might have as well hence why you were shoved here with your two partners."

"But that's not fair."

"You don't care about what is fair so why should the government?" She got quiet when I said that. She clenched her teeth a bit angry. "Isn't about fair, Irene, it's about safety."

"What about my safety, Doctor?" Irene raised her voice a little and I could tell the girl was concerned about it. I was in doubt if it was better to calm her or to be a little relentless. "What if I get killed by one of those lunatics?"

Once again I remembered of what happened to Yeri. Irene sure knows what happened to the poor girl so it was normal to be afraid that could happen to her as well.

"You are safe." I tried to calm her.

"Am I? I feel like I'm walking in eggshells here, Doctor. One wrong move, one wrong word and boom! Your head is smashed against the wall like a piece of shit." I gulped at that. "But you don't care. No one here does." She spitted it out.

"Why should we, Irene?" I asked her raising my brows."Why should we care for you?"

"I ain't crazy, Doctor." She repeated.

"You're a drug dealer. You're still a criminal. And you're what those officers hate the most. So, tell me, why they should care for you? Why they should care for your friend?" She got quiet, seeming to think about what I was saying.

"I try my best to live in peace here. And so does Wendy. And so did Yeri."

I chuckled at that. "If she really did, she wouldn't have been killed."

"Yeri always had always been an attention seeker, but how come she was supposed to know that one of her cellmates was a mental cunt?"

It took me a couple of seconds to realize I gnawed my teeth and my nose dilated when she said those words referring to Taeyeon. It took me by surprise actually. I've got a bit angry because someone called Taeyeon a mental cunt. Why? I didn't even know.

"Were you close to her?" I asked after a couple of seconds. "You seem to care about Yeri."

"We were partners. We worked together, we lived together. It's normal to care." I nodded. It was really good to hear that. Because Irene cared about Yeri, this basically showed she has some sort of sympathy and it's a good sign. Sympathy is what is lacking in psychopaths or sociopaths and I could easily take that out of her diagnosis. "Unlike all of you." She added later a bit harsh.

"Look, I know you're angry because your friend was killed but you can't really blame us here. If Yeri was indeed doing the best to live in peace here, she wouldn't have been murdered."

"She was just trying to make friends."

"By pissing one of the most dangerous residents off?"

"She didn't know that. No one told us anything about the residents here."

"Was it necessary? Never crossed your minds that every single one of those inmates are dangerous?" Because honestly, it was my first thought when I got the job. Though I was feeling ready for the challenge, I couldn't lie about not being nervous. We are dealing with mental criminals here, a little mistake can trigger a bomb inside them. I didn't need anyone to tell me that. In a way I thought everybody would have the same feeling. But that girl was completely oblivious to it? Nah, I don't buy that crap.

"Do you know if Yeri had mental issues?" I asked again.

"Why that matter now? She's dead, it's not like you can cure her."

"Is that a yes?" I raised my brows waiting for the affirmative.

"No. I don't know about Yeri's mental health. Mine is completely sane."

"Sane minds don't mean free from mental issues, Irene. Psychopaths have sane minds, they are able to adapt to different situations and fool many people around, yet they are extremely dangerous."

"Do you know how to treat psychopaths, Doctor? Fire a gun into their brains and it's done. No one needs to live with those bastards anymore."

"Not all psychopaths are serial killers, Irene. In fact, there are many who lives a normal life with no criminal records. Besides, if we kill every person with mental disorders on Earth, the human race will be extinguish by half."

"You say as if it is a bad thing." She retorted. "We'll all die in the end, Doctor."

"So why you're angry about your friend's death?" I tried to counter. "Because it was too soon? Because she's your friend? Because no one cared to save her when they could?"

She looked down not answering the question.

I decided to stop making questions about that particular event. The only person who could help me with that was Taeyeon herself. I needed to stop trying to figure about her from someone else.

I cleaned my throat, realizing the office was in silence. "You said before coming here you were ''roaming the streets of Seoul..."

"Yes."

"Where were your parents?" I asked frowning my brows. She didn't respond. "Deceased?" She was still quiet. I was looking for a different reaction. "Have you ever met your parents?" She grabbed the sides of the chair. There. I found the sensitive spot. "Growing up in the streets, left alone by your own parents, no one to care about you..." Her hands grabbed the chair harder.

She looked at me, angry. "I don't want you to pity me, Doctor."

"I'm not pitying you. I am trying to help you."

"If you wanna help me, let me get out of this shithole."

"Till you prove otherwise, you are as sane as every resident in this facility." She looked away still mad.

"I'm not crazy, Doctor!" She repeated, more agitated. I wasn't really convinced. I mean, yeah she was sane. She even was easy to read. But I couldn't discard the possibilities. It was only my second day of job and the first day I have met her, I need more sessions with her to feel her personality.

"Say that over and over won't help your cause." I advised her.

"Fuck." She groaned frustrated looking at the ceiling.

"Behave yourself and you won't have anyone smashin' your head around here, Irene." I quickly added it. "Behave yourself, help _me,_ only then I can help _you._ "

"If your helps are likes Dr Young's I rather not."

"I'm not Dr Young."

"Good for you, Doctor."

I frowned my brows as Taeyeon's voice saying the almost same thing came to my mind. Both Taeyeon and Irene seemed not to like Dr Young's standards. Don't know why but they really hold a large grudge against the man.

"So, you've been in the streets for your entire life?" I decided to ask.

"Being a street rat ain't so bad as you think, Doctor. I was free. I had no boss. I was my own boss."

"You were your own boss because you had no one. That's why you were a street rat in the first place. Back then I'm pretty sure you would like to be a house rat than a street one."

"No, I wouldn't." She denied categorically.

"Tough skin, soft heart." I replied. "It's usually that way."

"Stop pretending you know about my goddamn life, Doctor! You don't! I hate you all fuckin' doctors, yo! All you ever do is to sit there with your smart-ass attitude makin' everyone here feel shit! You think talkin' about the roots of our problems would help us? Stop being delusional, Doctor, no one here gives a fuck about you! No one here fully understands why we have these fucking sessions anyway... They just make us feel angry and shit! And no matter how hard you try, you will never ever help anyone here!" She shouted angrily raising up from her chair.

My eyes lost a bit of focus for a moment.

It hurt me. It really did.

I know she doesn't believe those sessions could help her. In fact most of the residents don't as well. They don't understand the purpose of it so they keep saying such things. I shouldn't be hurt by that.

But I was.

And I always will.

I hate when people dismiss my occupation. They always think it is a waste of time. Some of them even dare to think it's not a real profession. Or as Taeyeon said all the time, that I had a shitty formation.

But I needed to show they were wrong.

I needed to show I could help. Especially after hitting Irene's weak spot.

"I can help. I could help you right now if I write down here in those papers that you don't belong here." Her eyes enlarged for a second asking me to do it. "But before I could do it, I need to be sure of it."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"It's the first day I know you, you can't really expect me to believe in everything you say. I'm not stupid."

She sighed a bit tired but it looked like she gave in.

"Show me you live in peace here, Irene. Show me you are ''normal'' and I get you out of here."

Her eyes twinkled. "Really?"

"Really."

She nodded her head.

I felt happy. I felt proud of myself.

I managed to successfully control a resident. There was a ticklish sensation in my stomach. It made me smile.

"I need more sessions with you but so far so good." She gave me a timid smile. "Thank you for your time, Irene."

"Thank you, Doctor." She thanked timidly.

I leaned forward. _"_ _Doctor Stephanie Hwang, Interview #2 with resident Irene is finished."_ I pressed the button on the machine again and the tape stopped recording. I opened the door and Lee Sungmin entered ready to lead her back to her cell. "See you next time, Irene."

"See you, Doctor." Before she left the room she turned around to say something else. "Oh, and thanks for calling me Irene. Dr Young always called me by my real name. I don't really like it. It's very old-fashioned."

I smiled back. I don't really use my Korean name Mi Young for the same reason. "Sure." She nodded one more time and finally left the room.

My smile became a grin. Take that, Kim Taeyeon! _Who had a shitty training, huh?_ Oh boy, that felt so good. My second day was amazingly better than the first. And for some reason I didn't know, I wanted to prove to Taeyeon.

My eyes have been looking for Taeyeon all morning. I haven't talked to her yet, but my eyes were always there, seeking for her. Sooyoung had told me she had friends. Or at least people close enough to be called friends. However, throughout all that time my eyes were upon her, she was alone.

The residents know she's dangerous and don't mess with her. I mean news run fast in places like this and surely everyone knows Kim Taeyeon killed an inmate. Especially because it was one of the reasons Ho Sung decided to set the residents apart from each other. So inmates avoiding someone who could smash their heads in seconds is completely understandable.

What made me not to look away from her was because she seemed to be writing something in a notebook. Sitting down on the yard with her back against a tree and using her thighs as support for her black-covered notepad, she was completely focused on it. Her head down at all times. What was she writing? Thoughts? Ideas? Memories? I was dead curious to know.

Leaving the spot I was, I walked through the gardens till coming across her.

"Good morning, Miss Kim." I greeted her. I didn't bow to her this time and I thought to myself I was getting better at my job day by day.

She didn't reply though. I noticed she stopped moving the pen for a little while but then she resumed her scripts anyways.

I thought quite weird she didn't answer. She seemed to be talkative the past few days. "What are you writing?" I asked interested.

She didn't reply once again. I frowned my eyebrows a little confused. I turned around in order to look over her shoulders and spy what she was writing on the notepad. My eyes enlarged for a second when I realized she wasn't really writing anything, she was drawing.

Well, drawing was not technically the word, she was doodling.

She had written her name romanized in the center of the paper. Tree branches and swirls ornate the word and as they were spreading out, new forms were shaped. Crows, butterflies, mushrooms, pumpkins, skulls, frogs, worms..all made in a very cartoonish way, especially the mushrooms and the frogs.

It really took me by surprise.

Not because of her drawing skills, they were not that great to be honest, but it never really crossed my mind that Taeyeon liked drawing.

Drawing is one of the quintessential fields of Art.

Art is amazing.

And Art wasn't the favorite subject of cold murderers.

That woman really surprises me day by day.

"Didn't know you liked art." I said still surprised by it.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe it." She retorted after a while. At first I thought she was just playing around, but then I realized she actually said that because in our first session I took her as liar. I didn't believe in a word she told me that day, and as such, if she told me she liked art I really wouldn't believe it as well.

I felt bad and I kinda wanted to say sorry for that but I couldn't. I had to show I was the one in charge. No more bowing, no more sorry, no more politeness. I had to be strong, to stand my ground.

"Yeah, I wouldn't." I nodded. "Does it bother you?"

"Why would it bother me? It's not my job that is in danger."

I frowned a bit shaken by that. "My job is not in danger!"

"A rookie Doctor is always in danger."

"I'm not a rookie Doctor!" My voice came louder. I saw a pretentious smile form in her lips.

"Say that over and over won't make it true, toots."

I knew I had to cool off. She was just trying to get into me, I knew that. But I didn't care. I wanted to prove her that I was good. "Oh please, You know nothing! I was really good yesterday!"

"Really?" She asked sarcastically, inking another mushroom with eyes.

"Yes!"

"Congratulations, Doc! Who's the wussy?"

I felt my chest fill with anger. "She wasn't a wussy!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Doctor. A resident _deliberately_ _..."-_ And she moved her hands outwards, mocking the situation – "decided to tell you her origins. It's quite amazing, Doctor, how a resident is so whipped after seeing how shitty is your training." I clenched my teeth when she said that.

"Just because you don't believe in my skills doesn't mean everyone here does the same. There are people who want to be helped." I quickly responded.

"They want to be helped getting out of this place not to be treated." That was exactly what Irene wanted. I was aware of that.

"Might be true, but by doing that it might help them overcome their issues."

"It might." She nodded. "If you believed in what they say."

My nostrils dilated a bit angry. "You said you weren't bothered by it." I countered.

"And I'm not, toots. Just giving you some tips how to succeed in business."

"I don't need any tips from you!"

"Oh, c'mon, Doc, won't you listen to little Kim here? I just wanna help you."

"Why did you killed Yeri?" I asked suddenly.

That was question that was always in my head. Well, along with what is the name which could switch her psychosis on.

I needed to know that. I needed to hear her saying why.

"Who's Yeri?" She asked raising her head confused.

"The girl who you smashed the head on the wall?" My voice came higher than I expected.

"Ah..." She shook her head suddenly remembering it.

"Why did you do that?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I wanted to."

"You wanted to?" My eyes went wider. "Is that it? Because you wanted to?"

"I got needs, Doc."

"And your needs is killing?"

"Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly."

"Stop pretending killing is an instinct of yours! It is not!" Well, actually it could be. I just didn't want to believe in that. Taeyeon managed to surprised me every single time and in all those times ,I had never felt the inclination she was truly a cold murderer. She could have killed people before but in my eyes, that was a result either by self-defense or her psychosis. Not because she really was into it. Besides, Taeyeon likes to have fun. What would be the fun in killing someone like Yeri? The girl was just a street rat.

I blinked when Taeyeon closed her notepad, got up from the ground, and stared right into me. "Wanna know why I killed the meth head?" I clenched my teeth, feeling my heart beat a bit faster than usual. I stepped backwards, a bit anxious by what she was going to say. "There's this feeling inside of you, Doctor, that holds you together. It's tittering, yet very powerful. It's the feeling of the realization that you, in any moment, can end someone's life."

She stepped forward and I felt my heart go riot inside my chest. "Once you feel it for the first time, it's always there. It's always kicking in. After a while this feeling starts to become voices in your head, muttering and whispering to you ''Do it. Do it. Do it.'' - I gulped still frozen in place as my legs seemed to be turned to stone. "Why did I kill that meth head, you ask? Easy, Doc! I just listened to them."

"That's awful." It's all I could say after a while.

"It's amazing. It feels good." And her grin became wider than ever. " _Really good."_

"You killed an inmate for nothing! She was nobody!"

"Ouch, that's harsh, Doc." She pretended to be hurt.

"You are insane." It was an obvious observation but those words came out before I even realized it.

"Welcome to the Madhouse, Doctor!" And she opened her arms wide, as if she was welcoming me for a hug. "We are all mad here! I'm mad, you're mad!"

"I'm not mad!"

"You must be! Or you wouldn't have come here." I stood silent. "Please, enjoy your stay! A good trip is only good when there's fun along the way... Come along, Doctor Hwang... Have some fun! And after a while you might feel like this place is Wonderland!" She finished excitedly.

My fingers were trembling slightly and I knew it wasn't for the cold. There was a buzz in my head telling me to step back. It was one of those signs you have inside that warns you are potentially in danger.

But Taeyeon's mind intrigued me. In such a fucking way I couldn't just let it go. I couldn't just shrug my shoulders and pretend I wasn't interested in her. Her mind, her voice and her actions pulled me in, drawing me closer.

I knew straight away it was fucked up.

There was a mad woman who I barely knew anything challenging me in a way I never really was before. And it's not that Taeyeon was the most insane person of all times. She wasn't even the most insane person of that Asylum, I'm pretty sure there are people out there way worse than her. It's just that was the first time I ever met someone like her. And she managed to make my curiosity only get bigger and bigger.

Although I wasn't really a rookie doctor, I always felt like _one_ when I was around her. That was the reason why she thought of me as one as well. I let her see through me. And though there's a voice in my head telling me to step back, there was also another one whispering to actually _listen_ to her.

And let me give you an advice: when there are two voices in your head, never, EVER, go for the whispering one.

I did.

And, boy, I so regret that.

That woman woke feelings inside of me I had never felt before.

That became my personal living hell.

And Kim Taeyeon was the devil ruling it.

* * *

"Are you alright, Doctor?" I heard Kim Hyoyeon's voice beside me.

"Yeah, why I wouldn't be, Officer?"

"The more you stare at that inmate the creepier it gets."

Kim Taeyeon. No matter how many times I tell myself to back off, she's always pulling me in, making me wonder what is her past, what are her fears, dreams, goals... There was so much to know about her, but everything was just a big mystery.

It became a routine for me to come in the mornings and study her while she was in the yard. Even if she didn't do anything else other than doodling, I was there watching her from afar, trying to catch a glimpse of who she really was.

"Just watching over my patient, Officer." I dismissed it.

"Did you find something interesting about her?" She asked curious.

"I found out she killed an inmate."

"Ah, that's not news, Doctor."

"It was for me."

"And now you are watching over her to see if she kills another inmate?" She scoffed. I finally moved my eyes away from Taeyeon, looking at Hyoyeon. "She may be a maniacal, but she ain't stupid, Doc. If she injuries any other inmate she will be in lockdown."

"Lockdown?" Didn't really understand what that means.

"The Solitary Confinement. This isn't only an Asylum but a penitentiary as well. Whenever the residents break the rules or rise a commotion, they are written shots. When those shots total five, the inmates are taken to the special house unit. Or as we call it, the SHU."

"So she has four shots?"

She shook her head. "Not really. She went to the SHU after killing that inmate. When she got back three weeks later, she moved to Intensive Care unit and receive a warning that if any other outburst happens, she will be headed to the SHU straight away. She hasn't got any shots yet, but as soon as she gets one, she will be in lockdown. That's why she won't really get into trouble."

"Is the SHU that bad?" I heard about the solitary before. Normal inmates suffer a lot from being deprived of human contact. I don't know how the SHU could affect people from mental disorders however.

"Well, it sure ain't wonderland." Hyoyeon raised her shoulders. "I mean look at what happened to Jung Jessica."

"What happened to Jung Jessica?"

"One week in the SHU, the girl started to shout 'Stress!' whenever someone touched her." She giggled. "It was fun though. STRESS!" She said twitching her body, making fun of it.

"Where is she now?"

"Jessica? She's back to her cell. She's Krystal's older sister by the way." She added quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Yuri told us."

"Us? Does Officer Kwon tell you everything?" When I said 'you' I actually meant other officers.

"I wish." She sighed a bit discontent. "She always knows more than she tells us."

"Really?" My curiosity got bigger.

"Well, than she tells _us_ _officers._ She probably tells you everything, you are a doctor afterall." She shrugged it off. But I wasn't really convinced. Yuri does seem to know more than she tells. "So, how has your first week been so far?" She quickly changed the subject.

"Not bad." I nodded my head.

"Who do you have session with today?"

"Sulli."

She giggled once again. "Well, I think you are free today, Doc.". I frowned confused. "Sulli is in the solitary." My eyes widened for a second.

"Can't the inmates have sessions when in the solitary?"

"No. They must be isolated from the outside all times."

"How long she will be there?" I asked. Though I could understand why they must be isolated in the SHU, that could affect their progress. When a patient is in treatment, specially if their response is being favorable, the sudden halt of it may trigger anger, depression and anxiety.

"Two weeks."

My eyes fell to the floor. It must be awful to be all alone for a couple of weeks in the SHU. I mean, yeah their cells are individuals now, but they have lunch time with other inmates as well as the recreation time in the yard. They still can talk to each other. The still see each other. In the SHU, there's no contact, not even eye contact. All there's are walls and your own head to spend the time with.

" _Well, when you have only the walls and your head to spend the time with, you may find yourself enjoying things you didn't know you would."_ I remembered Taeyeon's words in our first session. I wonder how Taeyeon handled it, how it really affected her. She spent three weeks there. It is quite a lot of time.

"I hope she's alright." I mumbled to myself looking back to Taeyeon.

"Sometimes I wonder why you doctors fancy those sickoes so much."

"What?"

"You're worried about Sulli being in the SHU." Actually I was thinking about Taeyeon, but I remained quiet. "Other doctors feel the same about their patients. Why do you guys fancy them over us? We are normal, Doc. _We_ are the ones to be worried about, not those little shits."

"I don't fancy them." I defended myself.

"Oh please, If I beat the shit out of that inmate you would be the first one to try stop me."

"Why would you beat the shit out of her? She didn't do you any harm."

"See? You are defending her!"

"What? No! I'm not, I'm criticizing your attitude!"

"Why? She's a maniac and I should beat her to show my authority."

"You know she won't fight back because she would get into SHU and you are taking advantage of that!"

"Yeah, again, showing my authority."

"You are just showing how much of an asshole you can be!" I replied bitterly. She laughed out loud.

"I may be an asshole but I ain't no murderer. Or thief. Or rapist. Those inmates are all criminals, Doctor, and they must know their place here in the Asylum. You doctors make 'em feel like they own this fucking place. It has to stop, you know."

"But violence won't really solve anything. Mind you some of those inmates have anger issues and beat the shit out of 'em could trigger violent responses."

"And you know what happens next?" She asked showing a smug expression in her face.

"What?"

"They go to the SHU!" I blinked feeling a bt uncomfortable. "They can't win, Doc. They must not win."

"This isn't a game, Officer."

"No, it's how the system works." She replied back. "Don't try breaking it, Doctor." A muffed voice came from her speakers, calling for her. "Don't get intimate with your patients, Doctor." She said as like a warning or an advice.

"I won't." I assured myself.

She nodded her head, saying "Go home, Doctor. There's no much for you to do here." before leaving the spot she was and heading to wherever she was needed.

My eyes moved back to Taeyeon, still doodling on her notepad. I gulped when her brown eyes met mine. Her gaze was so intense, my heart beat a little faster quite frightened by it. Yeah, I should totally go home.

"Hello, Miss Kim." I greeted her with a smile as she entered my office for our second formal session. She greeted me back with a nod, sitting on the chair right across of me.

"How is it going, Doctor Hwang?" Officer Byun Baekhyun asked me with a genuine smile. Lee Sungmin wasn't with him that time.

"All good, Officer. Where's Mr. Lee?"

"Day off." I nodded my head. "You want us to leave?"

"Yes, please."

The two officers didn't take long to leave my office and wait outside.

"What's up, Doc? Enjoying your stay so far?" She asked me showing her pretensious smirk after the two men went out. I know from where she was coming with this.

Despite Resident Kim taking me as rookie, my first week went good. I didn't manage to have a session with my other patient because she was in the Solitary or how it was called by the officers, the SHU. Apparently, she got herself in a fight with another inmate and to "cool off" Ho Sung send the girl to be lockdown. So my first week was Taeyeon and Irene only. It was indeed a good week, not too stressful.

"Yeah, So far so good." I nodded.

"See, I told you... Wonderland." She smirked.

"Where do you stand in this? The Mad Hatter?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me... Alice?" She grinned hard.

"Cheshire cat." I replied back after seeing her grin. It really was the character she resembled the most. Mysterious, always grinning and making me wander why she intrigued me so much.

"Well, at least I'm not that crackhead blue centipede." I laughed along, feeling much more comfortable. I waited for a couple of seconds before pressing the button on the record machine, officially starting our session.

" _Doctor Stephanie Hwang, Psychotherapist, interview #3. Resident: Kim Taeyeon."_

"How was your weekend, Miss Kim?" I asked interested.

"Remarkable, Doc! I've been to the central park and after that, I watched a movie with a couple of friends. There was no popcorn though, what an audicity, right?"

"No need to use sarcasm here, Miss Kim."

"The need to use sarcasm is always there, Doctor."

I blinked at that thinking if that was really a condition of hers. I really wish I could understand her mind. That I could read what she is thinking or how she is feeling. She is always pulling this facade of hers. The funny Kim Taeyeon, the sarcastic Kim Taeyeon... I don't really know what is real or what is a lie about her.

But I was determined to know her better, what was her real personality.

So I decided to bring with me the Rorsharch Test. Although it's been debatable over the years of how accurate is the test, it's been helpful to me. I don't think it's the most reliable test ever but I managed to find personality traits in most of the kids I treated in my last job when undertaking them to the test.

Maybe I could find a trait in Taeyeon as well.

The test consists of 10 cards and in each card inkblots forms a particular image. The patient must say what is the first thing that comes to mind when seeing the card. It's a simple test with no right or wrong answer.

"Okay, Miss Kim, I have some cards here..." I begun speaking softly, grabbing the cards from my bag and organizing them in proper order. "And what I want you to do is to tell me what do you see in these cards."

I raised my head confused when I heard her laughing. The iconic old-lady laughters echoing in the office.

"You know, toots...I really thought the sessions where you want to talk about my childhood was a waste of time, but this... THIS – And she leaned forward, pointing to the cards I was holding - "totally takes the cake!" She continued laughing. "Thank you, Doc! You never fail to amuse me with your rookiness."

"I knew you won't take that seriously."

"Who would take that seriously?" She mocked still laughing.

"C'mon, Taeyeon..." The name slipped off from my lips completely. I don't really know why nor how, it just came out. It sounded right to call her like that. Irene was happy about me calling by her common name, maybe Taeyeon wouldn't mind as well. Plus, there were so many Kims around here, calling her Taeyeon would make my life easier.

"Uh, getting intimate, aren't we, toots? How should I call you? Stephanie? Steph? Phanie? Fany? Fanny!" She shouted quite joyful. "Do you know what a fanny is?" My nostrils dilated.

"Stop it!" I demanded.

"Feisty fanny." She laughed out.

"You won't call me Fanny!"

"Why not? It's an awesome name!" She leaned backwards, grinning even harder. "It's a name that puts a smile on my face! It makes me think there's someone here I can relate to."

I frowned confused. "Why you can relate to someone called Fanny?" I get mad at myself for saying that out loud. Jesus, Tiffany, why don't you just shut up?

"Shh, it's a secret, Doc." She whispered, still smirking. I shook my head, trying to not let her get into me.

"Okay, let's begin." I said showing her the first card of the set. "Just tell me... what do you see?"

"Are you really serious?" She raised one of her brows, not believing I would really do that.

"I'm always serious."

"I could give you the wrong answer, you know that right?"

"There is no right or wrong here, Miss Kim." And really there wasn't. What we look for is how those images actually translates to the patient and how makes them feel.

"A unicorn. It has wings, what's the name of a unicorn with wings? Pegasus-corn? Alicorn? Yeah, an Alicorn."

"That's not a valid answer."

"You said there was no right or wrong here. Why are you treating me differently?"

"You are not telling me what you really see, you're just shrugging off. That's why is not a valid answer. Look at the card and tell me the first thing that comes to your mind."

"Well, apparently imagination is a no here, huh?"

I sighed feeling a little bit angry. She caught that and just grinned harder.

"This is stupid. How can you use those stupid cards and call yourself a doctor?"

"Call me whatever you want, I won't put the cards aside. The sooner you tell me the sooner it will end. C'mon, help yourself...What do you see?" I asked placing the cards in front of her eyes. Then her eyes moved to the card I was holding.

"The puppy I had when I was kid. It was small, black and fluffy, you could barely see his eyes..."

"Skip the jokes. This is important!" I called her again, knowing that she was just trying to piss me off.

"You're clearly being biased." She left out a scoff.

"You know, we would be over by now if you actually tried to do it properly but all you do is wasting your time with those silly jokes. If you think this is rubbish, why even bother making things up?"

She blinked and finally seemed to give in. I sighed relieved when her large brown eyes focused on the card I was holding.

"Wings. An insect. Butterfly." She said nonhalantly, completely uninterested in what I was doing.

"Does it give you any feelings?" I asked interested.

"Boredom."

I ignored that placing the card aside and showed the second card.

Her grin vanished completely and her eyes enlarged for a second.

Only for a second, but that second was the most precious one.

The first card of the Rorsharch Test is the most famous one. The most common response to it was, as Taeyeon said herself, a butterfly. Other animals with wings such as moths and bats were also to be recorded. Other non-common answers were two bears or two humans moving around.

The second card in the set had some red blots into it. It is often seen as blood. And it seemed to be a bit distressing for her. There are cases of victims of physical abuse being uncomfortable upon seeing that card.

The little to no expression on her face made me ponder about it.

As the silence continued, my suspicious started to grow bigger.

Her eyes looked away from the card and I noticed her looking extremely uncomfortable. "Blood." She finally spoke. Her voice came a little lower than usual. She realized that and tried to cover it by clearing her throat.

"Does it give you any feelings?" I asked completely interested in her answer.

"Why are we even doing this?" Anger, I thought to myself.

"Do you see anything else?"

"No." She lied. That card affected her but she was trying to act cool, she was trying to show the test was ridiculous, that a 'stupid card' wasn't unpleasant to see. I however could pick that up.

I put that card aside and showed the third one. Card III still had some red blots in it so I was kinda curious for how she would react to that. Her eyes moved to the card and I could see them focused in the center of it.

"A bloody Bow-tie."

"How does it makes you feel?"

"May I leave, Doctor?" She asked raising from the chair. I blinked, much surprised by the sudden act."

"What? No! We've barely started yet. You still got seven more cards to see."

"This is bullshit!"

"It clearly ain't bullshit. These cards are telling more about you than you ever did."

"What? This is ridiculous. How the fuck do you believe in this mumbo-jumbo shit? You believe in fortune tellers as well?"

I was offended by that. "Don't be ridiculous! Fortune telling is not science!"

"Oh, but apparently believing that gibberish butterflies will tell you my personality it is science! What's next? Astrology? You wanna know my starsign, Doctor? Wanna know if we are compatible, huh?"

I was completely taken aback by her manners. She was distressed by the cards to a certain degree that most of her speech was aggressive. Now I was seeing the distressed Kim Taeyeon. I knew it however, it wasn't the real Kim Taeyeon. I might be close to it but there were some walls I would have to break to find out.

"Sit down, Miss Kim." I said firmly.

"I don't want to continue."

"You don't decide that."

She defied. "Of course I do, I'm the patient."

I was tired of Taeyeon doing whatever she wanted to as she owned that fucking place. I raised from my chair as well, as I was a taller I actually head to lower my eyes, and stared at her fiercely. "I am the doctor and it's me who tells when the session is over!" I raised my voice showing authority.

"Uh, feisty Fanny is back, huh?"

My nostrils dilated again. "Do not call me that."

"Don't bother trying acting superior, Doctor, you still sound like a rookie." She tried to get into me. At that point, I didn't really care anymore if she called me a rookie or not. I've just seen Kim Taeyeon showing other behavior than acting cool and jokey, being called a rookie would not make me step back!

"Sit down!" I said it again.

"I'm not feeling well, Doctor."

"The session isn't over yet!"

"This whole session is pointless!" She blurted out. I could see she wasn't entirely angry though. I mean, she has anger issues, if she was really angry she would've had an episode by now. And God help me if she loses it. Don't think her angry-self would mind having to spend a couple of days in the SHU.

"I wanna help you, Taeyeon." I spoke softly, trying to calm the nerves down. "And sometimes talking about your issues is what could help you."

"So you're back to the childhood talk again?"

"Whatever you feel comfortable with." I tried to make peace with her.

"I feel comfortable with leaving your office." I felt like I was slapped in the face. She was being difficult and clearly wouldn't make it easier for both of us. I sighed, leaning myself to the side and pressing the record machine to stop.

" _Doctor Stephanie Hwang, interview with Kim Taeyeon is finished."_ There wasn't much to do. She wouldn't cooperate and the environment would just become heavier and more awkward for us. Better to end that session and let her cool off than force her to stay and distress her even more.

"Thank God." She muttered annoyed.

When the two C.O's led her back to her cell, I sighed frustrated. I was finally getting something there. She always pulled that nonchalantly facade, but by seeing a 'stupid card' she let her expressions out like that.

"What's your story, Taeyeon?" I asked softly as if she was still there in the office with me. I really wanted to help her. I never really felt Taeyeon was born "mad". Something happened to her and that made her become this. I had no idea of what really happened to her, but by seeing her response to Card II and III, physical aggression and abuse were top in my list. I was worried about her. All I want is that she trusts me and tells me everything. I shook my head, not entirely sure if I did a good job by undertaking her to the test.

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept thinking of what memories I could have triggered inside Taeyeon's by our last session. So I was eager to find her and see how she was feeling.

Walking through the yard the next morning my eyes never really met hers. I couldn't find her at all. I started to feel something was amiss. Where the hell was she? I looked around and reckognized Baekhyun joking around with other C.O. When I approached them, they bowed their heads.

"'Morning, Doctor Hwang." He greeted me.

"You know where is Resident Kim by any chance?" I quickly spoke.

He raised his shoulders. "No, but it's recreation, she's might be here somewhere."

"I can't find her at all."

"Maybe she's still in her cell." The other C.O spoke. His name was Park Chanyeol. "Some inmates don't always come to the yard."

I started to feel that this was what happened to Taeyeon. She was feeling uneasy enough to stay indoors when she could be in the gardens, doodling on her notepad. Sadness stroke me right to the core when I realized probably it was my fault. I made her feel that way. I need to talk to her.

My last thought actually came out loud enough for the officers to hear. Only after Baekhyun's "Hm, we can lead you there." I've realized it.

I nodded in gratitude and followed them. I could sense my heart increasing it beats as I was heading to the other building: The Penitentiary. I've never really been there to be honest. Heck, most doctors never really go there. We all stay in the Medical Center all times. To finally enter the grovel where all those criminals actually are is quite intimidating.

It seemed all my senses have been sharpened after I walked through the double-doors of the prison, as I was sensitive to every view, sound, smell and touch. The noise was overloading. Because the residents from Intensive Care are separated from Regular Penitentiary – and the recreation at that time was for I.C residents only – all regular criminals were in their cells. Even if their cells were private, they were still side to side and it was really easy for the inmates to engage in random conversations. I noticed some cells were bigger than others and I managed to hear some residents complaining about that.

My nose cringed a bit when I heard some men catcalling me. I also noticed the were some female residents there as well. I mean, I know this is a mixed penitentiary, but I thought the women stayed afar from the males, like in a reserved section or unit of some kind, but no. They were all together with the rest of the men. What if they were sexually abused? My thought quickly changed and I forgot to breath for a while when I saw a large cockroach dead in the middle of the floor.

"This is horrible..." I said to myself still following the officers. If there was one dead, it might have others alive, right? The Medical Center was clean and tidy, it was quite different to the scenes I was witnessing in the actual penitentiary.

Among the talking, yelling and moaning, I managed to hear a "Doctor!" I blinked, turning my head around and I saw Irene behind the bars of her jail cell. Her blonde hair was all tangled as it seemed she just got up from the bed. I approached her. "Hello, Irene." My eyes moved around, afraid that I could find any other cockroach there.

"What are you doing here?" She asked me. I saw her eyes twinkling, as she was happy to see me.

"Is that your doctor, Irene?" Her male neighbor interrupted. "Oh, my, wish my doctor was so hot like that!" I tried my best not to look uncomfortable. "It's not fair, my doctor is a dude, big buffy and hairy. It's gross!"

"Shut the fuck up, inmate!" Officer Park used his baton to hit the bars and make him quiet.

"How have you been, Irene?" I ignored the man's rude behavior.

"Good, Doctor. We have sessions today, don't we?" I felt proud of myself to see someone was happy about it. I mean I may screwed it up with Taeyeon but at least I was doing right with Irene. It makes me feel good someone's actually enjoys my interviews.

"Yeah, we do. I need to go now, see you later, Irene."

"See ya, Doctor." She waved me.

I started walking again, feeling even more uncomfortable with the whistles and the names they were calling me. I could hear even some _women_ saying that to me. I winced at one of those, feeling disgusted by it.

But then finally we've reached the Intensive Care Unit. I left out a whimp when I saw a dead _rat_ instead of cockroaches. Ow, Jesus. This place is a junk. How could those buildings belong to the same environment? How come no one seems to care about the hygiene of this facility? Intensive Care section was a bit eerie I gotta admit. It was quite cold and it had a greenish ambient light that I found creepy enough. There were no bars in the cells, it was a heavy and thick chunk of metal and concrete of a door. 'Help me!' was the most common shout around here. I also managed to hear someone screaming 'They are here to kill me. What to do?'

Taeyeon stays here every fucking day. I couldn't stand to stay here not even for 10 minutes, let alone days. She's trapped in this place with nowhere to go. Spend your days in a gray box like that must be hell. Maybe that's why she tried hard to have fun. There was nothing else to do here. The sessions she has with me could be her escape rope from such a tedious environment. Yet, all I did was to annoy her.

Both officers stopped at the last cell of the corridor. "INMATE!" I winced when they shouted. Baekhyun got the key and with Chanyeol's help, they both opened the thick metal door. I looked around cautiously before entering the room.

My mouth dropped for a moment when I saw the drawings on the walls. It was totally different from her doodling. Done with a simple white chalk, it was the drawing of a girl laying on a tree with some birds flying above. It was quite impressive. The way the leaves complemented the hair and the birds were something else. Analyzing her drawings, I wondered if they represent her feelings. Was that girl done with a white chalk Taeyeon herself? I had no words for what I saw.

There were other drawings as well, such as one of a little dog, but not as impressive as the first one.

My eyes fell down to the thin bed in corner of the room. There was a big lump on the bed covered by the sheets and I knew it was her.

"INMATE!" I winced again when they shouted.

Taeyeon shifted her weight and mumbled something. She uncovered herself and raised her head, opening her tired eyes. Her face was a little swollen and her large eyes kept shutting down.

"Whaa~~" She yawned not finishing her sentence. Her sleepy expression was I dare to say, adorable.

"Doctor Hwang wants to talk to you.' Baekhyun explained.

She nodded her head. Her eyes moved and met mine.

"Officers, could you leave us alone?" I asked them.

"Sorry, Doctor, we have to stay."

"C'mon, Bacon, we need some doctor-patient privacy here. Go have some egg rolls." Taeyeon spoke for both of us. I blinked not trying to laugh when she said his name as Bacon.

"Shut up, Inmate!" Shouted Park Chanyeol.

"Your boyfriend is a little aggressive, Baek. Maybe a back massage will calm him down, you could use the cell on the left, it's empty for now. But be quick, you guys only have 10 minutes." She waved it off. "I guess it's enough. Guys never can make last longer than that anyway."

"You want me to write you a shot?" My eyes enlarged when I heard that. What? Was he being real? Would he write her a shot because of a silly joke?

"You can't write her a shot, she didn't do anything!" I confronted him. He looked at me confused.

"What? She is disrespecting me. She deserves to be punished."

"Yeah, sure, be given a shot because she told you to have some breakfast is totally justified." I mocked it. "Shrug it off, Officer, it was just a joke!"

"I am an officer, she should obey me!"

"Oh feeling safe behind that uniform, ain't it?" Taeyeon blurted out with a scoff. "Give me 20 minutes, a can opener and I'll have you whimpering like a schoolgirl! Don't worry, you might like it." She added with a rough voice.

Chanyeol seemed to be hit by that. "That's enough." I quickly said, trying to leave things all good. "Guards, leave us."

"What if she attacks you?" Baekhyun asked concerned.

"She won't. And if she does, she will suffer the consequences."

I was relieved when they both left. However, they left the door opened, I wasn't comfortable with other inmates listening to us so I walked to the door and pushed it to close it. Well, I tried, because the door was so fucking heavy it wouldn't move. It was a little bit of embarrassment how I looked trying to close that door. I shifted my weight in many ways but it was useless. My eyes got wider when I sensed Taeyeon helping me.

"This is so fucking heavy." I left out after the door was shut.

"So, why did you come to my grovel? No one ever comes here." She asked getting back to her bed. Just then I realized she wasn't wearing the bright orange jumpsuit of her unit. Her attire was a plain white top shirt and gray pants. Probably the clothing she used to wear for sleeping as the asylum uniform must be unfitting for. Seeing her like that made me feel weird. It was one of those moments where I couldn't see a criminal in her at all.

All I could see was a regular woman with a traumatic past.

"I wanted to see you. Talk to you. Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I made you feel uncomfortable yesterday." And I really regret that. "I didn't want to push you. I didn't know that cards would affect you."

"They didn't affect me." Of course she would deny. She would never accept that my 'mumbo-jumbo' works.

"I knew you would deny, it's kinda pointless to argue about it, but I know they affected you. I mean, have you heard yourself? You lost your shit yesterday."

She scoffed. "I haven't lost it, Doc. You really don't wanna see me angry."

"I really don't and that's why I ended our session. And I'm here to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable. Abuse is a very delicate subject and you -'

"That's curious." She interrupted me. Her voice wasn't so cheerful as before. "You come down here trying to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable and guess what? You still make me feel uncomfortable!"

I looked away feeling angsty about it. I want to help her, at the same time I needed her to talk to me about it I didn't want to push her. It was really delicate. I honestly didn't know what to do.

"Taeyeon...please, let me help you." I spoke softly, trying to encourage her to trust me.

"What makes you think you can help me, Doctor? I had more doctors in this shithole than you had patients in your entire life and none of them really helped me. You will need more than your fortune cards to get to the bottom of what is wrong with me."

I stared at her, feeling awful at myself. I was there to fix things straight between us as doctor-patient and I was just screwing things up. Then something started to bother me. "How many doctors you had?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Dunno. Can't remember them. Random names like Park, Young, Jung...Don't really care to name 'em."

"Would you remember my name?" I asked picturing how she would forget about me like all her previous doctors when I leave.

"How could I forget a doctor named Fanny?" She snapped and not really thinking straight I laughed out loud. She laughed along. "See, I told you, Doc...Awesome name! Always puts a smile on the face."

"Tiffany." I said after our laughter died out. She looked at me, a little confused. "I also go by Tiffany."

"Stephanie Hwang, Feisty Fanny, Tiffany... nice mix you have there."

As she was joking that meant she was alright. I nodded my head, feeling better about myself. In a way, I also felt our bond as doctor-patient improved. And more than even I wanted to her overcome whatever her trauma was. It would take a while for her to trust me, but I was determined to be the doctor she cared for. Don't want her to forget about me. I surely wouldn't forget about her.

A large sirene noise came from one of the speakers on the ceiling. It was the ringing warning the inmates recreation was over. The residents from I.C must return to their cells.

"See you around, Taeyeon." I said before turning around. My cheeks became pink when I saw the heavy door. Her laughter filled the room.

With her help, I managed to pull the door and open it. "So long, Doc." She waved at me. "Huh, Doc?" She called me back.

"Yes?"

"Thanks for coming here."

I smiled. Oh, God , yes! I was doing something right! I nodded again and with my most possible grin ever I left the Intensive Care Unit.

Now what I needed was to have someone cleaning that fucking place.

* * *

Leaving the penitentiary, I still had a smile on my face. All the worries I had about Taeyeon being angry with me had just gone away. I was relieved to see we were getting along well. Not as well as I wanted to, truth to be told, but it was a start.

My eyes quickly met with Officer Chanyeol's at the yard. I could see his expression changed from a carefree one to a resentful. He said something to Baekhyun and both of them left their spot going somewhere else. I blinked feeling I little awkward; it didn't need a genius to realize he was kind upset with me.

Trying not to be all sensitive for it, I looked around the gardens searching for familiar faces. Shyly, I smiled when I've spotted Irene talking with another blonde girl. They seemed to be quite close so I assumed that inmate was her friend Wendy.

Irene smiled and waved at me when she saw me.

"Hm, Doctor Hwang?" I heard a voice behind me. I turned around to see who was it and I instantly recognized Choi Sooyoung.

"Oh, Hi, Miss Choi. How you doing?" I greeted her with an eye smile.

"Good." She nodded. I frowned when she turned her head both ways to see if anyone could be hearing us and upon seeing we were all good, she stepped closer. "I'm still waiting."

"Waiting?" I asked not sure of what she was talking about.

"For my bibimbap."

My eyes got bigger for a second. I've totally forgotten about that! I had promised Sooyoung to give her food if she told me more about Taeyeon but it turned out I didn't. It's been a week since and Sooyoung is yet to see the meal.

I felt bad at myself.

"I... I'm sorry, Miss Choi." And I really was. Besides, I don't really think I could bring food from outside and give it to residents. The Asylum is very strict about the inmates' diets. Even us, the doctors, have our meals in the Medical Center's refectory. The inmates shall not have any food other than what is already served in the canteen. "But the Asylum have rules and..."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I looked away feeling uncomfortable as her voice was filled with anger.

"I..."

"You've told me you'd give me food! Proper food! I told you what you wanted to know and that's how you pay me?"

"I can give you money, if you want." I said suddenly, not really thinking straight. She snorted.

"Why would I want money in this shithole? Could I buy food?" I've got silent. "I don't want eat the fucking blob they serve here, Doctor Hwang, I want food. My food. The food you said you would give it to me!"

"I'm sorry, Miss Choi, but I can't give you what I promised. It was my mistake offering this to you and I apologize."

"Apologize?" Her angry voice muffled as she chuckled. "Apologize? If apologies were a valid payment everyone here would be Bill Gates, Doctor!"

"I'm really sorry." I apologized again.

"No, you're not." She blurted out. "You don't care about me. You don't care about the fact I told you information that you're not supposed to know. You just care about yourself!" I've got offended. "You just care for having the information about your patient so you could flatter yourself for all the other doctors around here how a fucking good doctor you are!"

"That's not true!"

"Of course it is! Doctor Stephanie Hwang, the doctor who cured Kim Taeyeon! Imagine that, right? It's a prestige indeed. No other doctor could help that midget, but you...Haha, _you_ think you have what it takes to be the one!" I gnawed my teeth, a bit angrily for what she was implying. "That's what you want to achieve... The fame for being the doctor who helped her. And you would do anything to do it so, even to put someone else's life in danger!"

"That's a lie!"

"I'm kinda glad I really didn't tell you everything. And you know what? Maybe this is the reason why Taeyeon lies all the time. She knows you doctors can not be trusted!" I've lost the ability to speak for a while as her words kept hurting me. "But now I know. I've learned my lesson. Doctors can not be trusted. _You_ can not be trusted." My eyes started to burn and I realized I was about to cry. She stepped back, her eyes still all fiery. "Don't count on me next time, Doctor Hwang. You can rot for all I care." As she turned her back to me, the tears I was holding up finally started to run down my face.

Fuck.

I was not expecting that. And boy that hit me right in the core. More tears were came down from my eyes. I didn't want anyone to see me like that, so I decided to leave the garden and go to my office.

" _Get hold of yourself, Tiffany!"_ I told myself, wiping my eyes with a tissue. Sooyoung's words hurt me more than I thought. I was ashamed with myself I gotta admit. The fact I didn't do what I have promised her, heck I didn't even bother to try do it in the first place, was something I was not proud of! I am not her doctor and I don't own her good will, but I reckon it was a dickish move from me. I deliberately bribed and inmate for information but never really took it far enough to comply it. It was selfish of me. And the echo of her words just kept hurting me more and more.

I wiped another tear when I heard a knock on the door. When I opened, my eyes enlarged for I saw Yoona. Oh, Fuck. Has Sooyoung told her what happened?

"Sorry to disturb you, Tiffany." She said with a gentle smile.

"It's alright." I muttered feeling even more ashamed of myself.

"Sooyoung is a bit distressed today. Do you know what happened by any chance?"

"Why would I know?" God, that was rude. I had no idea why I was behaving like that. I was really sorry for what happened and yet I was pretending I didn't know a thing. What a child you are, Tiffany Hwang.

"Maybe the talk you had left her a little bit uncomfortable?"

I've got quiet. I didn't know what to say.

"What did you guys talk about?"

How I was so fucking selfish. "Kim Taeyeon." I answered instead.

Yoona nodded her head. Her gentle eyes quickly became serious and a fierce expression took over her face. "I'm sorry, Tiffany, but I ask you to not disturb my patient with any concern you might have regarding Kim Taeyeon anymore." I gulped feeling even more ashamed. If that was possible. "Try talk to your own patient next time. Please leave Sooyoung alone."

I felt like a student scolded by her teacher. The utter feeling of embarrassment was too much to handle.

"I'm sorry." I apologized myself. "I won't disturb Sooyoung anymore."

"Thank you. And thank you for your time."

Yoona got back to her office leaving me to die in my shame.

I sighed.

Shit. How come every time I try yo be good I mess something up? When I was good with Irene, I messed up with Taeyeon. Now I was good with Taeyeon but messed up with Sooyoung and Yoona... God, why was so hard to be in peace with everybody else?

I shook my head trying to get rid of those thoughts. My session with Irene was due to start and I couldn't have those feelings in the way. Luckily, the interview with Irene would end up well.

"A regular white mocha, please." I ordered. It was ten past 7 in the morning and I was having my usual coffee before heading to the Asylum. My eyes glued to the macaroons on the silver tray next to the cashier. I was still hurt by what I did to Sooyoung and I was willing to mitigate the stain in our relationship. I couldn't smuggle bibimbap in but maybe something smaller wouldn't be so hard. I could lie to security those pastries were for me. I've seen some officers having some snacks they brought in, maybe I could do the same. Yoona said she was Sooyoung's doctor for about two years. If Choi had not have any other doctor besides Yoona herself, so it's been two years she is eating the asylum's 'blob'. A couple years of distasteful food would make you miss even the smallest proper food in the world. So I hoped some macaroons could make us be in good terms again. "And three chocolate macaroons, please." I added before payment.

I wrapped them in white napkins and placed them in my bag.

"You don't need to shout, officer." I said as I was back to the Intensive Care unit in the penitentiary. Taeyeon decided to stay indoors again this morning and I again decided to give her a visit.

As the officers opened the heavy door, I found her asleep again. She was on her stomach and I could notice some drool on the pillow.

"Leave us, please." I said lowering my voice. They looked at each other and taking a couple of seconds, they finally left.

My eyes looked back towards her. Some of the hair was on her face but that didn't disturb her at all, as she was sleeping quite deeply. I took some time to look around her cell. It was small, only having the single bed – placed on the right next to the wall-, a cubicle for the loo in the far left and a shelf between them where she kept some all her belongings. The ''all'' of her belongings being just her notepads, the bright orange uniform, some puzzle toys and books. I couldn't help a smile when I recognized the covers of the Harry Potter book series. In the shelf below, there was an orange plastic bottle labeled XYZ 999. It was her medication.

As stated by Dr. Young, that medication has some side effects, one of them being sleepiness. Was that why Taeyeon have been sleep all morning the past few days? She seemed fine the week before, I didn't really see any trait of tiredness whatsoever. According to her files she needed to take three pills daily, I honestly thought that was quite a lot. But again, I have never really seen her rage outbursts so if her previous doctor demanded her to take three pills, three pills it is.

 _''_ _In the end you're just like Dr._ _Young, isn't it?''_ I frowned as I remembered Taeyeon's words. _''If your helps are likes 's I rather not.''_ Irene's words now were the one coming back to my mind.

I know it is natural for patients don't have sympathetic feelings towards their doctors but the way they talked about him makes me ponder who Dr. Young is and how he dealt with their issues. Were they right? I mean, I shouldn't question his methods as he is likely more experienced than I am...'' _So what's the point of our little chat, Doc? If you rather listen to others than me.''_

He misdiagnosed Taeyeon's pathological lying. Wouldn't he misdiagnosing the amount of medication she should take as well? Overdose is a freaking serious topic and it can culminate to toxicity or in extreme occasions even death itself.

"Will you throw that away?" I heard a voice and turned my head towards it. She was still on bed, her eyes were smaller than usual due sleep but I still could see the bright gleam of brown in her eyes.

"I can't throw your medication away." I replied. She shifted her body, now laying on her back, and closed her eyes again.

"Of course you can. You're my doctor."

A smile appeared on my face. "How long you've been taking three pills?" I asked getting closer to her bed.

"Even since the _accident."_

"It wasn't an accident." She grinned.

"Many believed to be so~~ - she yawned. - why burst their bubbles?"

My eyes glanced back to the orange bottle. I was really pondering about decreasing her dosage by one. Two pills might be enough to keep her in line. But again it was high risk. If she started to have three pills after the incident with Yeri, that means her usual dosage of two pills couldn't prevent her from heaving an episode if provoked.

Provoked.

After what she did with Yeri who the hell would try to provoke her anger? Sooyoung said Taeyeon is quite calm, only losing her strings when the particular name was said by Yeri, probably in a mocking way thus making Taeyeon uber angry. With Taeyeon now being alone under I.C it's very unlikely someone would try to piss her off. And as Sooyoung and Amber wouldn't tell anyone the fucking name, the chance of Taeyeon having an actual episode is actually extremely low.

My eyes went back to Taeyeon on the bed and I chuckled as I noticed a thin trickle of drool leaking from the corner of her mouth. I took out the tissue box out from my bag and leaned towards her.

I wrapped my index finger with the tissue. "God, you're like a kid." I muttered wiping her drool out.

She opened her eyes and I caught myself gazing her dark brown orbs more than I've could tell. "Have you had breakfast?"

"The taste of my own drool is more delicious than the food they have here." My heart started to pound faster for some reason.

"Still you should eat."

"So now besides being a psychic you're nutritionist?" She mocked.

"I'm not a psychic. I'm a psychotherapist."

"A psychotherapist using fortune cards... very scientific, huh?"

"Why do you keep calling me a rookie?"

"Because you are." She smirked. "You are the rookiest doctor I've ever met."

"Just because I'm nice doesn't mean I am a rookie."

"You need to toughen up, Doctor. Be nice and all that jazz will only give you false hopes. No one here will treat you back the same way you do with them. People are all but a bunch of selfish assholes."

"Why being so negative? Most of people are good."

"How naive can you possibly be, toots?"

"I'm not naive!"

"You are extremely naive for a psychotherapist. You are the most embarrassing doctor I've ever had."

"I'm the best doctor you've ever had." I retorted.

"We've got a badass over here. Feisty Fanny is back for more." She joked. I shook my head, chuckling a bit. I couldn't get angry with her calling me that anymore. It seemed we were in a stage of mutual understanding. In a way, I felt like we were actually _helping_ each other, as crazy as that sounds.

Because Taeyeon had told me I was behaving like a rookie I was able to realize what were my actual errors and get better at that. Because she told me I needed to step up and stop being so passive, I actually managed to be a little bolder as a doctor. It's what made me successfully control Irene in the first place. Heck I was even comfortable to be around her with no officers nearby.

And there I was, going to her grovel so I could understand her better and help her overcome her issues. It's been just a couple of weeks we've been doctor and patient yet I felt I like I've improved in such little time. Taeyeon was always intriguing me and challenging me to, somehow, be a better doctor. It's a weird feeling and a weird environment, I reckon, but truth the be told, I actually _liked_. I've never had that experience before and it was thrilling me. I was always looking forward to see her, to talk to her. There was so much to know about her yet I knew so little.

"What is your story, Taeyeon?" I asked softly, lost in my own thoughts.

"It's a boring story."

"I highly doubt it."

"Why do you keep calling me a liar?"

"Because you are. You are the stupidest liar I've ever met." Her expression changed to a playful shocked one. As she was pretending to be offended by being calling stupid. I smiled at that. "I don't know how Dr. Young diagnosed you with pathological lying."

"So are you saying I'm not a liar?" She smirked pretentiously.

"You're a liar. Not a pathological one. It's different."

"And you're a doctor. Not an experienced one. It's also different."

We both chuckled. I frowned as I heard the siren going on, indicating their recreation time was over. Already? Are they actually making them having less time than usual today? I couldn't help feeling a little sad as I had to leave her.

"See you, Taeyeon." I said with a nod, standing up. It was then I realized I was sitting on the edge of the mattress. I had no idea how I ended up sitting beside her. I shook my head, ignoring it.

Keeping the box of tissue back in my bag, before I could zip it I've spotted the napkins in which the macaroons were wrapped. I had bought them for Sooyoung but what bad could it be to give one to Taeyeon? She actually didn't have any food yet and I'm sure she is the Asylum far more time than Sooyoung. She must be dying to savor anything else than the infamous blob.

I looked from the napkins to Taeyeon and from Taeyeon to the napkins and I sighed. Finally, I took one of the macaroons out of the bag and stretched my hand to her. She frowned confused when she saw the brown small cake. However I also could see the bright twinkle in her eyes. "You haven't eaten anything. C'mon, take it." I offered. The twinkle in her eyes became even brighter.

She raised from the bed and finally grabbed the pastry. I smiled. As she had a bite, she stopped breathing for a while and closed her eyes. "Ow, fuck, that's so good." She said munching it overjoyed. I grinned.

"See you around, Taeyeon." I snapped it. I needed to get out of there and find Sooyoung.

"So long, toots, and thanks for the food."

Okay, I know I have bought three macaroons and all of them should belong to Sooyoung but seeing Irene didn't make any good to me. Irene was a good person. Yes, she might be a smuggler and that made her a criminal but she wasn't evil. Her behavior was for a normal young woman who just believed she was treated unfairly. And she was cooperating well in our interviews. I could see she was doing the best she could to be out of trouble around here. It helped her having Wendy as a friend because both girls were supporting each other, making their stay more enjoyable. Or less unpleasant for so to speak.

"Hello, Irene." I greeted as I approached the girls.

"Good morning, Doctor Hwang." She bowed her head. "This is my friend, Wendy." She said pointing to the small blonde girl beside her.

"Good morning, Doctor." The girl bowed respectfully. "Baechu told me you're the best doctor around." My cheeks didn't blush but I got a tittering feeling inside making me feel proud. Haha, if only Taeyeon heard that.

"Baechu?" I raised one of my brows. Baechu meant cabbage in korean.

"Yeah, she's my bae." Irene giggled shyly as Wendy placed her arm around her waist. I remember Irene's name being Bae Juhyun, so I guess her nickname came from Bae and Ju.

"Can I talk to you in private, Irene?" She nodded and asked Wendy to leave us alone. Ever since our first interview, I've noticed Irene's manners and even her language became more respectful towards me. It was good having someone actually respecting me as doctor for a change.

"Well, first, thank you for been so cooperative in our sessions."

"I do my best, Doctor."

I did what Sooyoung did the day before, looked around to see no officer was looking at us, and then I gave her the macaroon. "A little gift for you." I said eye smiling. She frowned before grinning hard as she unwrapped it. "Don't let the officers know about it, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Thank you, Doctor Hwang. _You_ _are_ the best doctor around!"

I blushed as she said that. Oh, how would I love to hear that from my other patient. But I guess I still have a long way to go with Taeyeon.

When I found Choi Sooyoung, and she saw me, she quickly changed her expression to a angry one. Now this is my time to make us be in peace. All I needed to do is give her the cake. Nothing particularly hard.

But before I could even do it, she turned her back.

"Miss Choi, wait!"

"Leave me alone, Doctor Hwang."

"I brought you food." Her neck snapped as it turned towards me so freaking fast. "Would that make us be in good terms?" I asked offering the pastry. She quickly took it hiding from the sight of others by placing it in the valley between her breasts. I winced surprised.

"No." She replied. "You promised me bibimbap."

Okay, she was taking too far. "I didn't promise you bibimbap. I promised you good food. You assumed it was bibimbap."

She clenched her teeth a bit angry. But that was really what have happened. I never have given her the word to bring bibimbap. The deal was about food. Not a specific one. I saw she was still mad. "Look, I can't bring you bibimbap. Even us doctors must have our lunch here in the asylum."

"I doubt you eat the same shit we do."

"We don't. But still we are not allowed to bring proper meals from home. Only snacks. So shut the fuck up and be glad I brought you a fucking pastry! I've could easily just ignore it but here I am taking the risk to give you illegal food so we can be in peace again. Just accept it already!" Yeah I was kinda angry.

"So you think the information I gave you is worth only one macaroon?"

My eyes squinted. "What?"

"I want two macaroons in the morning everyday."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"That's my price."

"Fuck you. I can't bring you macaroons every fucking day."

"Why not? It's small and fits in your bag perfectly. You could tell security is for yourself. They don't really care. I've seen some officers around here having a bag of cheetos and some red bulls for dinner occasionally."

"You can not expect me to bring pastry every single day. That's stupid."

"One month then." She raised one of her fingers. "You bring for a whole month and we would be even again."

"One week." I tried to bargain.

"Five macaroons for three weeks then."

Five? Fuck, no. That's like 30 a week. Shit is gonna make me broken.

"No, one week."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Two weeks." Two weeks was still a long time for me. "2 pistachio, 2 mint and 1 coconut flavored."

"What?" The word came in English as I was baffled by her audacity.

"2 pistachio, 2 mint and 1 coconut flavored." She repeated but this time in English. "Just in case you lose some info in the translation."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"I never kid when I talk about food, Doctor Hwang."

"Fuck, no! I won't give you-

"I'll tell you the name." My eyes enlarged as my heart skipped a beat. Was she serious? " I see I have your attention." She grinned. "My final offer, Doctor Hwang. For two weeks, 5 macaroons every morning, 2 pistachio, 2 mints and 1 coconut. After that I'll give you the name of your oh so precious patient's trigger issue."

Fuck that woman. She knows how to be persuasive! "Deal." She grinned rather victoriously.

"Nice doing business with you, Doctor Hwang."

I wasted no time in leaving her alone. Yes, I was angry. Having to bring pastry every single day for two weeks straight is not what I had in mind. But if that would make her reveal the name I was so freaking curious to know then I could make an effort.

"Do you feel you've developed any other behavior ever since the increase of your dosage, apart from the sleepiness?" I asked worriedly.

And yes, there I was in her jail cell again, talking to her; trying to reach her, making her trust me.

Taeyeon had her eyes closed. "I feel my thoughts are slow."

"Slow?" I frowned confused.

"I have a noisy mind, Doc. Voices everywhere, tick tocks and knocks knocks. But now the noises have quieten down a little. I don't like it. I like my noisy mind, Doc."

"Quieten down your voices is for the best."

"For the greater good?"

I nodded. "Yes, for the greater good."

"Oh the morality and it's vanity standards."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't kill a puppy but you kill a rat. The rat is ugly, the rat is dirty. The puppy can be dirty as fuck as well, you know when it rolls on mud pools, but they are fluffy and even if they lick your face with their dirty tongues, you don't kill them. What a cold and heartless person you are for killing a puppy! But the rat, ha! The rat dies before it can run from one sewer to the other. Poor lit'le fella can never see the light of day." I blinked as she had a fake grin on her face. "Morality seems to have beauty standards, don't you think, Doctor?"

Yes. "No. Rat carries diseases."

"So the dogs. Rabies, ain't it?"

"I don't get what's your point."

"What if the greater good is bad?"

"That doesn't make sense."

"What is good for me it is bad for you. And what is good for you is bad for me. Why can't we have good for the both parties? Why to quieten down my noises when they make me who I am?"

She really has a sharp mind. "They don't make who you are, Taeyeon. You think they do because you've lived with them all your life. But they need to be suppressed so -"

"So _you can be_ safe." She interrupted, opening her eyes and staring at me.

"And so do you. And everybody else."

"So I need to be shut down. Like the dirty little rat."

"First, you are not dirty. Actually you're one of the cleanest inmates I can tell. Second, yes, you are little but that's highly a disadvantage." She chuckled. "And third, you're not a rat, your face, looking from the front, resembles more of a fish, like Nemo." I joked smiling.

"What's Nemo?" She asked curiously. Her large eyes blinking innocently.

"It's a character from a movie. He is a clown fish."

"A clown fish?" She opened her eyes wide expectantly. "Does it likes to tell jokes?"

"Uh...no."

"Ow, that's the most boring clown fish ever." She said rather disappointed. I smiled. "Hey, Doc." She called out, her voice in low volume. I muttered a 'hm' to indicate I was listening. "Do you have more cake with you?"

Not for you. "Yes."

"Can I have one again?"

No. "Sure." Fuck me. I was such a weak! Fuck you, Tiffany, for being so whipped! Jesus, I am hopeless!

I gave her one of the cakes, the coconut one, hoping to my dear life Sooyoung wouldn't mind to receive only 4 macaroons today.

"Cheers." She grinned before having a bite. "You, Tiffany Hwang, are the nicest doctor in this cesspool." My heart skipped a beat as my ears finally heard her compliment me. "You know this can lead you into trouble, doesn't it?" Wow, Kim Taeyeon warning me about trouble?

"I'll be alright." I dismissed it.

"You better be, toots. I don't wanna any new other doctor."

"Really?" I asked proud of myself as she sort of stated I was a good doctor.

"Of course! I don't think I could find any other doctor as rookie as you are!" I rolled my eyes. Yes, still a looong way to go with her so she could see me as good. "It's official, now. Rookie doctors are my favorite type of doctors."

"I'm experienced."

"Fake it till you make it."

Oh, I would make her trust me! I would make of Kim Taeyeon my most valuable patient.

And for that I would take any risk, even if I had to give her all Sooyoung's cakes.

* * *

I am so weak I feel embarrassed at myself. I should just commit suicide by jumping out of the window. I honestly don't know what is going on with me nor why I was so whipped regarding Taeyeon. But I did it again. The cakes which were supposed to be Sooyoung's? Yeah, that's right, I gave them all to Taeyeon. All the fucking five macaroons are now being fucking digested by Kim Taeyeon's fucking stomach.  
Why?  
Because she asked for more cake and fucking Tiffany Hwang here couldn't say no! Fuck, I am a psychotherapist! My job is to deal with people's problems and issues but here I am with a problem of my own I can't seem to solve: how can I say no to Kim Taeyeon?

How can she make me be so hopelessly nice with her? I used to be strict when it was necessary, I really was but every time I'm with her I have this need to please her; I have this will for being nice and I don't know why.

Actually, maybe I do know… The thing is… I like her. I like her mind, I like her voice and I like her personality although she is always pulling that fake Cheshire one. She is one of those people I'd loved to read about when I was a kid. She is one of those people I had always dreamed to know. In a way, Choi Sooyoung was right. I do want to be the doctor who helped Taeyeon! I wanna be the one doctor who cured her! And I wanted Taeyeon to like me as much as I like her; I wanted her to trust me.

So I gave her all Sooyoung's cakes.

I was willing to keep my words though. And if I had promised Sooyoung five fucking macaroons everyday for two weeks, she will get those! What I needed to do was to start giving her the cakes on Monday. Monday is always the best day to start new things. The problem was trying to convince the woman.

"So you're going to give me the food you promised starting by Monday?" She asked raising one of her brows unconvincingly.

"Yes. I also need to think how give you the cakes and not looking suspicious enough. If Yoona sees us talking to each other she will notice something wrong is going on. There are some officers here who know you're not my patient as well. Smuggling small food can be easy but it is still illegal. We need to be safe and out of sight from others." She muttered a 'hm' and seemed to agree with that. Hm, that was easy.

"Come with me." She said inviting with her hand.

I looked around a little uncomfortable. "Is this a good idea?"

"You said you wanted to give me food without looking suspicious, ain't you? So, follow me. It's alright. Today is Thursday and right now Doctor Yoona is having her session with Jessica. You're safe."

"What about the officers?"

"They see you in white coat, they regard you as a doctor. Most of those officers don't know even our names, let alone all the doctors' here. Especially 'cuz the medics are always coming and leaving." It made sense, but I was still not convinced. "Just don't be nervous. If an officer recognizes you just tell him Doctor Yoona asked to check me out. They will leave us alone."

"Have you done this before?" I asked finally following her.

"What?"

"Made an officer believe somebody else was your doctor?"

"No. But Amber's doctor once came to see how I was going as Doctor Yoona's asked for it. So I know it's pretty safe."

"Okay."

She seemed to be right about that. By the time I was walking alongside her no one bothered us. No officer had found weird I was there at her side. I could easily pretend I was her real doctor.

"How do you know Yoona is with Jung Jessica?" I asked interested, I thought all doctors' patients are kept secret from each other.

"Jessica told Krystal; Krystal told Amber; Amber told me." I nodded my head, finally understanding.

Once we've got to one of the sides of the penitentiary, she pointed her head to the vent next to the ground. When she squatted down in front of the vent, I did the same.

"The last row of grilles are broken, can you see it?"

"Yes." I knew where she was going with this but she took her time to expound.

"The hole we've got here – she pointed to the void in the grilles – must be enough to fit the macaroons. If it isn't, you can dig some earth out till they fit. Before our recreation, take your time to come here and place the pastry inside."

"You don't want me to warn you?"

"It's not necessary. And as you said earlier it can be suspicious. Two weeks might me a long time so if you try talk to me everyday it can rise some rumors. Just place the pastries here, be careful to not let anyone see it. Before the recreation is over, I'll come here to get them."

"Is it safe? What if someone else notices the food inside and eat them before you?"

"It's a risk you might want to take." No, I don't want to take.

"Does any other inmate knows about this?" I asked referring to the broken vent.

"I don't know. Some don't even care to look properly around the facilities. And truth to be told, a rusty and broken vent is not where you usually try keeping your foods fresh."

Well that was my best chance so I might as well take it. I didn't need to talk to Sooyoung every morning so that could avoid me getting into trouble. "Alright."

"Don't forget to have 'em wrapped so they won't get dirt all over."

"Sure." I said rising up and dusting my hands on my jeans. "You don't need to worry, Miss Choi, I won't give you dirty food."

"You better not, Doctor Hwang. 'Cuz if you do, you ain't hear the name of Taeyeon's trigger from me."

Well, can't say I didn't see that coming. Sooyoung was rather possessive towards her food so for sure she would try to have the best sample she could have.

I nodded my head again.

"See you around, Doctor Hwang." She said turning her back and walking away.

"Impressive." I said as she showed how long it took her to solve the rubik's cube: 3 minutes and 9 seconds. "But some kids in my previous jobs could do it under one minute."

"I doubt they could kill someone the way I do under one minute." She said grinning hard. "Now who's the best in town, Doc?" I blinked not sure of what to say. And then I looked down, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"What's wrong, toots?"

"Nothing. It's alright."

"Now, look who's lying."

"How…" I raised my eyes towards her. She was scrabbling the cube so she could try solve it again. "How many…? How many…people… have you killed?"

"I don't keep track."

"Really?" I frowned my brows. If she doesn't keep track that basically means she wasn't a serial killer. Serial killers are always looking forward to beat their own records. However, I also found interesting she said "the way I do"; serial killers tend to always murder their victims with the same method. They usually have a ritual and they follow it quite systematically. I didn't know what to think about Taeyeon though. If she kills when she is under her episodes, would that mark her as a serial killer as well?

"How do you feel?" I asked interested. "When you have an episode... How do you feel?"

She twisted one layer of the cube around. "Before, during or after?"

Ow, that was interesting. I didn't know she could have stages. "Hm, in all of them."

"Well, someone is eager for an answer." I chuckled. "But I can't give you all the treats for free… It's not fun, is it?"

"It is for me." I said smiling.

"Just pick one, Doc."

"I need to know all stages."

"Not today." And she twisted the cube again matching the bottom layer with their respective colors.

"Uh…before." I said after thinking for a while. If she has a distinctive way to behave before it happens, I could spot that easier and do something about it. Or at least it was what I was hoping.

"Oh, that's a surprise." She said raising her head ignoring the puzzle for a moment.

"Why?"

"I thought you would pick during."

"Plot-twist." I said lightly. She giggled. It made me feel good. "So… What do you feel before your episodes happen?"

"The noises stop."

"Noises?" I remember her saying she has those "noises" inside her head but honestly I don't really know what it means. Was that a metaphor for something else? Were those tick tocks for real? Does she hear that all the time?

"They stop. Or maybe they go mute. Either way, I can't hear them anymore."

"You said your medicine shuts down your voices… How is that different?"

"I don't know. It just is. With my medicines…is like when you daydream. You are awake; you have a perception of your surroundings and you still can hear your thoughts even if they aren't connected with what you are experiencing in the moment. The voices aren't just loud enough, they're still there but only whispering. Before my episodes happen… There are no thoughts anymore. There are no noises anymore. It's just a void. My mind is blank completely."

"And then?"

She smirked. "And then it happens."

"What? Is that it? You mind goes blank? Don't you have any other behavior? One that could –

"That could tell you what's about to happen?" She raised her brows to me. I looked away. "I'm not a siren, Doc."

"Actually you are." I said backing my eyes to her. "But no one knows when you are on or off."

"Believe me, Doctor, you totally would know if I was 'on'."

"How so?"

"You'd be dead by now." And she threw the rubik's cube for me to catch it. My eyes focused on the toy completely solved. I gulped silently. "But you don't need to worry, Doc, so far you're safe."

"Am I?"

"Why would I kill you? You give me cake!" I chuckled.

"I can't give you cake all times."

She pouted. And Jesus, that was the most adorable thing ever. No, Tiffany! Stop!

"How is it bad to give me just one small cake, Doc?"

"Very bad." Sooyoung was enough. I didn't need to owe any other inmate more cakes. I couldn't owe anyone else. Not even Kim Taeyeon.

"You are lying, got that from someone else, toots?" She grinned.

"I'm not lying! It's illegal."

"Never stop you before."

Because I'm a weak! "Just a few ones it was alright. But we can't go on like this. It has to stop."

"Can I ask you for a change?"

"A change?" Didn't understand what it meant.

"There's something I really…really miss to eat. Something small, colorful and very tasty." Her eyes twinkled. I frowned.

"What's the taste?"

"It tastes like childhood."

"Childhood?" My brows were raised.

"Ah yeah! The golden times of our lives! The times where no one holds us down! Even if we are just little ones pissing and shitting on our own pants…It doesn't matter, Doctor, for we have all the delusions and the fantasies of the world…just right here." She pointed to her head.

"I can't smuggle in drugs." I stated.

"Your childhood seems to be the one problematic, toots… Not talkin' about drugs. No! I hate those junks! Talking about gummy worms here."

"Gummy worms?" I blinked.

"Gummy worms. You know, those jellies shaped as worms and covered in-

"I know gummy worms!" I chuckled. "Are you serious? Gummy worms is your childhood?"

"What? Amber's is Cap'n crunch!"

"Cap'n crunch?"

"It's got corn for crunch, oats for punch and it stays crunchy, even in milk." She said delivering the slogan for the product. I laughed. "What's your childhood food, toots?"

"I don't have a childhood food."

"We all have a childhood food! You from america you said… Waffles? Burgers? A bucket of chicken wings from KFC?"

"What? No! My father was very strict with our diets. He never really let me and my siblings to eat junkie food."

"So what type food you used to eat when you were younger?"

"He used to make us sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly." I said smiling remembering of those times.

"Peanut butter and jelly." She pointed to me. "Gummy worms." She pointed to herself.

I sighed. "But this is the last time I'll be giving you food, Taeyeon."

She grinned hard. "Sure it is, toots."

"What's up, Doctor?" Officer Hyoyeon came to me after I finished talking with Irene.

"How is it going, Officer?"

"All good." She nodded. "Hey, care to meet Yuri? She asked me to."

"Yuri? Why? What's wrong?"

She raised her shoulders. "Beats me. She just told me she wants to have a word with you."

I found weird Yuri wanted to talk to me. I mean, we always exchange words whenever I go to the Archive but she never took her time to ask another Officer for me to find her.

When I got there, I frowned as I saw her usual spot was empty. Her desk had a couple of empty red bulls cans on as well as a cup of instant noodles.

"Hm… Officer?" I called. My eyes travel throughout the place, and I chuckled when on her monitor there was an unfinished game of solitaire.

"Hello? Anyone here?" I tried again.

A door nearby opened and Yuri got out from there, with a small white towel on her right shoulder and her toothbrush on her hand. "Sorry, Doc, I've just eaten…needed to brush my teeth."

I waved off. "It's alright, Officer. Hm, Officer Kim told me you want to speak with me?"

"Yes."

"Is something wrong?"

"Doc, I like you." My eyes enlarged. "Fuck, not like that! Jesus, that was weird! Haha, it really sounded way better in my head..." I giggled. "Anyway, I like your personality." She used her hands rather awkwardly. I smiled.

"Thanks, Officer."

"However, the same doesn't apply for some of my team workers." I frowned my brows. "I'mma cut the crap okay? They don't like you. They feel you prioritize the residents over them… And in this particular environment, this is not a clever thing to do. They feel their authority is being diminished and you are giving power to your inmates do whatever shit they want."

I wanted to say she was wrong, that was a lie. But I couldn't. Who I was kidding? I did stand for Taeyeon When Park Chanyeol threatened to send her to the SHU. But again, she didn't deserve to be sent to solitary confinement because of a silly joke. That was really an overreaction.

"One of them treated my patient rather unfairly." I tried to defend myself.

"Of course they did. It's our job!" She confirmed raising her arms wide. I frowned."Those fucking mentals need to be controlled. They are dangerous. They are like those animals who must be shut down for their behavior is unacceptable for society."

"They are not animals!"

"Of course they are! They aren't normal inmates, Doc. They aren't little unfortunates who murdered because their family was in danger. They didn't steal because they were hungry. They are fucking psychopaths! Some of them are bilingual, some even have college degrees! We are here to keep them in line but you are giving them power to overlook an officer's command." I looked down. "Once a resident realizes you are in their side, there's no turning back. They will use that as an advantage!"

"I'm not in their side!"

"Of course you are! Standing by them when an officer confronts them? Going to Kim Taeyeon's jail cell every fucking morning?"

"I'm her doctor and its my job to assure she is alright."

"See?! She doesn't need to be alright, Doc! Kim Taeyeon is dangerous, I told you in the first day you stepped in this facility! She is not nice! She is not innocent!"

"I know she is not innocent!"

"Do you really? It doesn't seem so." The way she was talking was making me angry.

"I'm helping her!"

"Doctor, Kim Taeyeon is here for over five years." Fuck, five years? "She had more doctors in this time than you had patients in your entire life. She knows her ways to get what she wants. She knows how to behave when she needs to. Yes, you are helping her. You are helping her by giving what she wants. You are helping her having you wrapped in her finger. You are helping her own you. Stand back, Doctor… Don't get intimate. You are becoming a target."

"I appreciate your advice, Yuri, but Kim Taeyeon is showing satisfactory improvement in her behavior."

"I've seen this happening many times before, Doc! Ooh, my patient is in recovery, ooh, my patient is under satisfactory treatment…" She mocked swaying her toothbrush around. "Believe me, those large childish brown eyes have fooled many doctors!" She said now pointing around her own eyes. "She is the devil, Doc. Those giggles and shit.. Ha! She uses to win you over and BAM! You're done!"

"She is not fooling me. What she needs is a doctor who treats her as a human being."

She sighed. "Doctor. You are nice and gentle and most of time you see good in people." I was touched by that. "You don't belong here."

My eyes squinted. "Excuse me?"

"You may be an extraordinary psychotherapist, the best there is out there, but you were a doctor for kids." She stepped closer. "And the problem is that you see Kim Taeyeon as one of the little kids you used to have in your previous job. She is not a kid, Doc. She is a mental psychopath who needs to be lockdown."

"She is not a psychopath."

"She may not be Hannibal going after human flesh, but that doesn't make her less dangerous. Don't get intimate. You don't want Kim Taeyeon to get into your head, Doctor Hwang. This is not kindergarten! They don't need a friendly environment to help them get out of their shells! They need punishment!"

"How would that help them?"

"It's what makes them behave. They need to know they are not untouchable. And that's our job here. Your job…" She pressed the toothbrush against my chest. "… is to give them medicines so they are no longer a threat. And if you cant do it yourself you might as well resign."

"I will not resign!"

"So step it up, Doctor! Ain't nobody got time for your kindness here!"

"You might not like how I do my job, Yuri, but it works! My other patient Irene is doing just fine. You don't need to worry about Kim Taeyeon."

"I don't worry about Kim Taeyeon, Doc. I don't give a damn for her. What i give a damn for is how my team workers are not working properly because you scold them all the time." I sighed. "What I am asking you, Doctor, is to not stand up for an inmate in front of an officer. If they are treating those little bastards unfairly, just keep your mouth shut. They don't need your kindhearted feelings. They don't deserve them."

I nodded, finally giving in. I don't like to think I'm giving a hard time for officers here when in the end of the day all of us only want to do our work efficiently. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Yuri. I will not stand up for an inmate in front of a correctional officer."

"Good. Thank you, Doctor." She stepped back. I nodded again. "And Doc…" When I was ready to leave, her voice stopped me."Stop going to her cell. It's not doing any good."

Well, can't say that what Yuri told me didn't stick to my mind. It did. And she had a point there, standing up against an officer, no matter if justified or not, would make them become powerless. In environments like this, authority is the most important thing and once you've got it no more, there is no use to stay. Hyoyeon once said to me the system is made this way. The inmates riot, they suffer punishment. The inmates are trying their best to live in peace, they officers will piss them off so they can get punishment. It's dickish… But it's how it is.

And as the officers needed to be harsh and cruel to be respected, I probably would need to be the same as well.

It was kinda hard for me not to go see how Taeyeon was. For the previous days it have became a routine. I enjoyed that. I liked to hear her voice, her giggles and her thoughts. I felt like I was connecting her in a human level and I genuinely think this is crucial to someone's improvement.

But I decided to listen to Yuri and not go there anymore. Now, my only days to really see her were Mondays – when she would have her interviews with me. I wasn't entirely happy with that but there was no much else to do. It was safer this way. Besides, going to her cell would only make the officers have the idea Taeyeon was my favorite. And I refuse to do favorites.

I greeted as she entered my office for our session. I've felt she was different that day and when I realized why I knew Kwon Yuri was right. Going to her jail cell wasn't really doing me any good. After seeing her wearing the tops and pants she had for sleeping, seeing her in bright orange was extremely weird. The color of her jumpsuit screamed danger all over it and yet I was having a hard time to always remember that.

"Hello, Doctor." Officer Lee smiled to me.

I bowed to him.

"Hello again, Mr. Lee."

Lee Sungmin and Baekhyun nodded their heads and left the room. By now they already knew I prefer them outside. "Psychotherapist Stephanie Hwang, interview #5. Resident: Kim Taeyeon."

"You know, Doc, something is on my mind." She leaned her body forward.

"What is it?"

"Do you only have two patients? Me and the wussy?"

"Irene isn't a wussy!" I defended her.

"Irene?" Oh, shit. Brilliant, Tiffany! This is exactly what you needed to do, reveal your patients to that woman over there! "Haha, you got that meth head, Doc?"

"This doesn't concern you. You are here so we can talk about yourself."  
I said firmly.

"I'm not a selfish person, Doctor. I find amusing talking about others as well."

"You're not here for amusement." She smirked.

"Still is that all? Does the Asylum think you can't take any more patients than two?" She raised one of her brows.

"It's none of your business." I replied harshly. She snorted. "There's a reason why currently I am having sessions with only two residents. Mind your own stuff!"

"Ooh, sharp words!"

"You gotta be sharp sometimes…"

"You go, toots! You go!" I chuckled as she leaned back in her chair.

"So… Today is another day."

"A lovely day it is…"

"What do you feel during your episodes?" I asked bluntly.

"You have no passion for romance, do you?" She scoffed. "That was fast. It makes me feel like when you break your nose and someone says "hey look over here" and BAM! They've put it back in place! You don't know what is going on other than your nose is in pain."

"But it's back in place, so it's alright. The pain will go off later." She smiled. "So… tell me. What do you feel?"

"I don't know." She shrug it off.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

She raised her shoulders. "I don't know."

"Taeyeon… This is important!"

"I know… but I don't know." Was she serious?

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Language, Doc! Do you kiss you mother with that mouth?"

"No, my mother is dead."

Her grin vanished completely. She looked down and twisted her lips. After blinking a couple of times she said. "I'm sorry for your loss, Doctor."

"Well, that's a plot-twist." Her brown eyes looked at mine. "Kim Taeyeon feeling sorry?"

"I feel sorry for many things."

"Really?"

"I'm not a psychopath, Doctor." She remarked.

"You are not the one who states that."

"No, it's you." And she placed her hands on the table. "The doctor. My doctor."

My heart pounded faster. "Do you feel like being someone else completely different?" I asked changing the subject quickly.

She frowned her brows.

"Not following."

"When you have one of your episodes… Do you feel like you're someone else?"

"No."

"How angry do you get?"

"I don't know." Okay, that was annoying me. I can't have an answer as 'I don't know'. It's pretty fucking vague.

"You don't feel anything? Anger? Fury?"

She raised her shoulders and shook her head. That doesn't make any sense. How could she have an episode of extreme violence if she's not angry at all?

"I feel it for a matter of seconds… before it starts. The noises stop and my mind goes blank. And then, I don't know. I don't think I feel anything."

Ah, that's an answer. "Really?" I found that interesting.

"To feel is what holds you back, Doc." I frowned confused. "It's makes you think 'ah that's enough.' And you stop. That's your mistake, Doc! You don't stop! You don't stop till you kill 'em all!" She giggled and I gulped. "My hands want to punch, they will punch, they want to smash heads, they will smash heads! There are no feelings."

"No thoughts and no feelings, huh?"

"No thoughts and no feelings."

That was sick. Not sick in a good way, sick in like the medical way of saying something is not normal.

To feel is the normality. We humans have evolved to be the most sensitive creatures of nature. We feel anger, pain, happiness, despair, fear, love… The whole spectrum of the human feeling is endless. It's so strong within us, we have developed sympathetic feelings for even different species of animals. No one kills a puppy, not because they are cute or fluffy but because there's an emotional attachment to it. If someone has a rat for a pet, the emotional attachment is still there. Heck, we even have emotional attachments to non living objects! Children cry because someone have popped out their balloons.

When there are no feelings anymore or one of the quintessential feelings of the spectrum is missing, there lies an issue. And this is probably what makes Taeyeon's episodes so dangerous… all the spectrum of feelings is absent. She just obeys the instincts of beating, breaking and kill. And there's nothing else there to make her stop.

"Do you have any idea of know how long it lasts?" I asked curiously.

"No."

"Do you lose consciousness? You feel like you can't realize what is happening?"

"I don't black out. I'm fully aware of what is happening around me."

That was interesting. As any other mental conditions, psychotic violence have degrees of it. In the most intense one, the holder is not capable of realize what is happening. Their episodes are so freaking extreme, they might lose consciousness. When their episodes are over, they barely remember what they've done. Taeyeon seems to remember. That basically told me she has a mild-degree of it.

I took time to write that in her files. She lifted her head and tried to read what I was writing. "Keep your eyes to yourself, Taeyeon."

"What you're writing?"

"New info."

She frowned. "What info?"

"Info about your diagnosis."

"Can I read it?"

"What? Of course not! This is classified!"

"Na, toots, you're not an FBI agent. Don't overreact." And even with her hands handcuffed, she managed to get the file above the desk.

I raised from my chair. "No! Give me that!" I yanked the files away from her hands, making some of the papers spread out in the floor. She giggled. Brilliant! I puffed angrily as I crouched down to pick the papers up.  
"You know, you should behave yourself." I got up from the floor. "Especially because I'm the one with your so precious gu-

Gummy worms. That's the word I wanted to say. Because yes, I had the pack of her gummy food that tastes like childhood inside my bag.

I could not complete the word however, because before I could say gummy Kim Taeyeon suddenly launched herself into me forcefully, leading both of us fall to the ground and making a large bam noise.

"YOU WANNA YOUR HEAD TO MEET THE WALL, DOCTOR?" My eyes went completely wide as her voice shut down all my joints. The small chain between the handcuffs pressed hard against my neck. "IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?" My voice died as my heart was beating like mad. Was she… Was she having an episode right now?

"HEY, INMATE!"

"YOU THINK YOU'RE CLEVER BY DOING THIS TO ME?" Doing what? I didn't understand. God, please, help me. I wanted to say something, anything, but all it got out from my lips was a stuttering sound.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DOCTOR! OR ELSE…" As I heard a zap sound, her body twitched to my side and all her muscles started to spasm.

"T-t-Tae…yeon?" Her teeth clenched and her breathing became heavier and heavier. The way her eyes got darken and the ever so present twinkle in them was smudged made me feel like that's exactly what happens when she gets angry.

And it was scaring the shit out of me by the second.

"Doctor, are you alright?" I looked to both officers, Lee Sungmin was holding a gun. What the fuck? Did he just shoot her?

"What the hell was that?"

"Electric shock."

"WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

"No, she is!" Byun Baekhyun used his speakers to do something I couldn't possibly know as my brain wasn't processing what was just going on.

"Taeyeon!" I called getting closer to her. "Are you alright?"

Hands were over me. "YAH! GET OFF ME!"

"STAND BACK, DOCTOR!" No. No. I shook my head. Tears were about to come from my eyes. As another wave of shock hit her, she screamed from pain.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT! SHE'S – by the time the third shot came and passed through her, she got silent. As if she had no strength anymore in her muscles, she just stood there, breathing. My tears were no longer being held as three more officers came, holding her in place.

"Fuck." I heard someone relieve.

I gulped as she was dragged up and her dark eyes locked into mine. "Hold your fucking tongue, Doctor!" What? What did I do? How come she got angry so suddenly? Was that all because I had said if she didn't behave she wouldn't get the gummy worms? How much she likes those fucking treats?

"NO! YOU HOLD YOUR FUCKING TONGUE, INMATE!"

"LET'S HOPE FOR YOUR ASS TO ROT IN THE SHU."

Oh, God. No. Not the SHU.

Taeyeon…what just…has happened to you?

* * *

I swept away the trails of tears with the sleeve of my white coat. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for she yelling at me like that, nor I was ready for her angry and cold voice. Moreover, I wasn't ready for the officers to use electric shock guns on her. I never knew the officers here used those kinds of weapons in the first place.

Using electricity was a common thing when treating inmates in the past, especially for conditioning them to behave in a certain way, but they gradually became obsolete as people realized this kind of treatment was inhuman. I never knew the Asylum was still using those weapons. And the fact they didn't even hesitate to shoot her made me angry and hurt.

Angry for this could leave major marks on the patient, not physically but psychologically. I wondered how many times Taeyeon suffered those electric shocks all those years she's been here.

I felt my eyes clogging up some tears again.

"You alright, Doctor?" One of the officers asked me. There were five of them and they were escorting her like she was a dangerous animal. It hurt me to the bits.

My legs were weak but I tried my best to keep standing and follow her steps.

"Y-Yes." I stuttered. I was still in shock for what have happened.

My mind was a mess wondering what I've could done to trigger her episode. It didn't make any sense to me. Why she attacked me? Why she got so angry? I was about to give her gummy worms… I just wanted her to behave and did an inoffensive threat, that's all. But apparently that made her furious.

Her head was lowered, officers Sungmin and Baekhyun were holding her by the shoulders. She stood silent as the only thing she could do for her own good was to follow the officers quietly.  
My heart though was pounding so hard against my chest I was afraid someone could hear it.

As we reached the elevator, Choi Siwon pressed the button to level five. I frowned my brows to that. I thought we were going to the SHU. The SHU isn't in the medical building.

"Hopefully Ho Sung will lock you down forever, Kim." Lee Sungmin said it.

No. He can't lock her forever. She needs treatment! If she stays in the SHU she won't have sessions with me anymore. I don't want to stop seeing her! I don't want her to fade away in those dirty cells!

As we walked across the corridors, my heart beat faster as I was anxious for what Ho Sung would tell her. For how long he will send her to the SHU? 2 weeks? Three weeks? One month? God, please, no.

The general supervisor greeted us as we entered his office. "You again, Kim?" Taeyeon was forced to sit on the chair across of him by the guards. He shook his head, rather disappointed. "I thought you had learned your lesson."  
Something in the way he was talking made me not like it. There was something else implied in that sentence but I just couldn't get what it was.

His dark eyes raised up from Taeyeon to the officers and I. "What did she do this time?"

"She assaulted her doctor, Sir." Lee Sungmin stated firmly. I gulped hard.

Ho Sung sighed. "Again?"

I frowned my brows. What did he mean again? Is that a common thing for her to do it? Does she often attack her doctors?

She kept quiet though.

"Doctor Hwang." He called me, I blinked and cleared my throat.

"Yes, sir..."

"Are you injured by any chance?"

Emotionally yes. Physically no. "No, sir."

"You were lucky. Once upon a time Kim choked her doctor with the handcuffs to death."

My eyes fell to the ground as my stomach got sick. Did she killed one of her doctors? Was that Dr Young?

" _I'm your new psychotherapist, Miss Kim. I'm here taking the vacancy left by Doctor Young."_

 _What happened to him?"_

 _"He quit."_

 _"He sure did."_

 _Was that why he quit_? He didn't quit his job but his _existence_? My eyes shyly leaned towards her, trying to understand why she does those kinds of things. Why is she so unpredictable? One minute she's okay but the other she's killing innocent people.

I was brought back to earth when I heard Ho Sung's voice.

"It seems like your anger issues are always in the way, Kim." He grabbed a file behind a drawer. "Let's keep trying stop them, okay?" Whatever he was implying I wasn't liking one bit. Taeyeon seemed to find the floor far more interesting than the man before her. "How many pills you're taking? Three?"

My eyes opened wide. No.

"Let's make it four, shall we?"

"No!" I quickly said it, not caring that I was genuinely confronting the general supervisor of that place. He was my boss. He was everyone's boss! He was the one in command of that place now that Lee Soo Man retired. Yet here I am, denying him power. "Sir… I'm sorry, but she is fine with three pills." I tried using my most neutral polite voice.

"Well, if she was, she wouldn't have her episodes." He said calmly. His spectacles reflected light and it baffled me that he looked like one of those scientists you see in movies.  
You know those ones greedy and cold heart who said they were always doing the right thing but it turn out that they were just being evil? I could bet my life that guy was a sadistic pig.

"Sir, with all due respect… She doesn't need more doses."  
Hell, four pills? Three makes Taeyeon stick in bed all morning… Now four?

"Resident Kim needs her medication to behave properly, Doctor Hwang. And if that fails it, we increase its doses so she will no longer be a threat."

"Your job… is to give them medicines so they are no longer a threat."

I remembered Yuri's words. No. That's not my job. My job is not just shoving them pills when they don't behave. My job is to understand them. To help them. Giving her pills and more pills isn't helping at all. But I decided to held my tongue as I could be in trouble confronting the general supervisor. I just nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Four pills for you, Kim." Sung continued rather calm. I clenched my fists, my nails embedding to my palms. "And one week in the SHU should do well to calm you down."

One week. Well I gotta say it went better than expected. I mean the SHU must be an awful place to stay for even a couple of days but better one week there than a whole month.

"Guards, take her to solitary confinement. She needs to be alone for a while."

"Yes, sir!"

I couldn't move. My legs became jelly as the officers got her up and her fiery eyes stared mine. I wanted to say sorry for whatever I said that made her angry but the words didn't came out.

"You're alright, Doctor Hwang?" He asked after the officers left with Taeyeon. I looked at him, still confused. "Resident Kim is very unstable. One wrong word and you are a goner.  
That alone makes her one of the most dangerous inmates of the Asylum. Be careful with your words, Doctor Hwang. They might be your last in here." He eye-smiled. Why did he just eye-smiled? "Or elsewhere for that matter." I gulped hard.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"I'm pretty sure you are. Have a good day, Doctor Hwang."

I didn't have a good day or a good night whatsoever.

I've spent almost the whole night awaken, praying for God she was alright. She was always in my mind and the mere thought of her sleeping in that lonely dirty place was wrecking me.

There is something very wrong with me. Very twisted. I was verbally abused and physically assaulted by Kim Taeyeon yet I couldn't stop thinking about her. I was supposed to be angry at her. But the truth is that I wasn't.

I was hurt but not angry.

My heart always squeezes when I think of Kim Taeyeon. Maybe it is because she's in locked away in the SHU. I like to think that if Irene was sent to the SHU I'd be feeling the same way too.

The SHU…That fucking place I can not go because being completely alone is actually the main punishment. Even for introverts, a place like the SHU is hellish.

And to remember Taeyeon is in that hell for the entire week was wrecking me.

Not being able to see her was wrecking me.

What is she eating? Is she sleeping all the time? What is she doing now? How is she feeling?

I should feel glad I was alive. I should feel glad I was giving Sooyoung her macaroons as we had planned. I should feel glad Yoona was no longer angry with me… But I wasn't. The fact was that I miss her. I miss her voice, her giggles and her silly jokes

The days at the Asylum seemed to become gloomier and longer. If I could sleep through the week and wake up only when she gets out of that place, I would have.  
All those days talking go her, trying to reach her, they just made me be closer to her. The closest I ever been to a patient of my own in fact. I was so eager to understand her mind, I couldn't care less she is one of the most dangerous residents of the Asylum. And then suddenly not having her there anymore was weird. Not having Taeyeon around for me was like Batman not having the Joker. It was an empty feeling and everything seemed misplaced and unimportant.

Yoona seemed to notice I was blue and as she had forgiven me for what happened last week with Sooyoung, she got back her usual kind self. I enjoyed that. It was really good to have a fresh and warm friendship with other doctors in such a place like this. Yoona started to invite me to have lunch with her in the refectory. She also introduced me to Seohyun and Kyunhyun, general doctors of the Asylum in charge for the all the residents' examinations.

Seohyun was younger than me and surprisingly very prude, which in an environment like those it was very uncommon. Most of doctors and officers developed some tough skin due to dealing with inmates all the time but Seohyun had extreme respectful manners. It was odd to see yet very refreshing.

"Three." Seohyun softly spoke.

"Five." Kyunhyun raised all the fingers in his hand.

"What they are talking about?" I asked Yoona beside me. She giggled.

"They're having a bet of how many intakes the Asylum will get on Saturday."

"Intakes?"

"New residents are coming to the Asylum on Saturday." Oh, I didn't know that. " The very first contact those residents have with the medical team is with either Seohyun or Kyunhyun. They do all the check ups, from blood and urine exams to electrocardiograms."

"They always have bets like this?"

"Yes. Seohyun is currently on a three winning streaks so far." She smiled gently.

"It's not really hard to defeat Kyunhyun-oppa. He always thinks we will have more residents than usual. It's been a while since we had five new incomes altogether." Seohyun said in her usual softly voice.

"And where do the new residents stay? How is the procedure for their diagnosis?"

Kyunhyun was the one speaking this time. "Some have already been diagnosed before being transferred. For the ones who comes to the Asylum as their first ride and don't have any psychological profiles, once we have the results from the exams, several interviews are conducted with several different doctors. After that, the inmates are placed at their correct unit."

Irene doesn't have any behavior that could put her under the category of mental disorders yet she's here for months and no one seems to even bother. It's completely dangerous having a normal person amongst mentally ill people. I know Seohyun and Kyunhyun are just general doctors, they have no formation in psychology or psychiatry so it's not really their fault but still I couldn't stop finding that weird. It seemed somehow this Asylum stopped caring this is in the first place to treat mentally insane criminals and now is just a penitentiary mixing up normal and insane inmates. And that mix can never end up well.

"Hm, what if a resident doesn't have any behavior issue? What if they are here by mistake?" I asked.

"No one is here by mistake, Tiffany. Every single one of the residents are criminals." Yoona gulped some water.

"I'm not talking about being criminal." I tried to explain myself as I remembered Irene's current situation. "What if a resident is a criminal but doesn't have any mental issues?"

"They can require transfer for regular penitentiaries." Seohyun calmly said. "Once is confirmed the resident is clear of any mental disorders, their respective doctors sign the paperwork releasing the inmate from the Asylum."

I smiled at that. It didn't seem so hard. If Irene still keeping behaving herself around here for a while, maybe for a couple of months more, I could request her transfer.

"Do you have a patient in this situation?" Yoona asked curiously.

"I'm not entirely sure yet; I still need more sessions but so far one of my patients doesn't seem to have any."

"Ow, that's good, unnie. All you gotta do is request transfer for your patient. The papers usually comes after a couple of weeks."

"Good luck though." Kyunhyun said it quite sarcastically. "Releasing an Inmate from the Asylum is like the nine-tailed fox, everyone has heard of, everyone knows of… Yet it's just a myth."

"What? Why?"

He raised his shoulders. "Once a resident is here, no other penitentiary would trust to have a 'criminally insane'. It's a stain to carry forever. So either they do their time here and are finally set free or they die and are buried here."

"That's horrible." I said feeling myself uncomfortable. So does that mean Irene needs to do her time here? She arrived not long ago, will she have to stay for years to come?

"It's the way it is. Bet my ass some residents might rotten here."

"I really hope not. However the inmates are always getting themselves into trouble." Seohyun added with a sad tune on her voice. "They are constantly written shots and rioting… All that does is to add more time to their sentences."

Disgraceful fucking pigs. Not the inmates I mean, the officers in this place! They mess up with the residents so those guys can rotten here. I can't believe such devious acts are tolerated in this facility. They aren't only tolerated they are… fucking encouraged! Those bastards use their authority to inflict pain and humiliation to those inmates. As if just pissing off the residents for their own sport wasn't bad enough, they do it so the inmates can never leave. And I thought using electric shock guns was low. Wow. This place is fucked up.

"Look at Kim Taeyeon, for example." My heart pounded harder when I heard Kyunhyun say her name. "I don't think she'll ever leave this place."

Yoona looked at me with said eyes.

"I feel sorry for her." Seohyun added.

"You do?" I raised my head looking at her.

"She's here for so long, yet she is always getting herself into trouble. If she behaved she would have been probably free already. Her anger outbursts just keep adding time and more time to her sentence."

"Kim Taeyeon can not be helped." What? Who was he to tell someone cannot be helped? "Kim Taeyeon is one of those mentally insane people you only find once in a lifetime. It's so rare to catch one alive. Especially a female." Why was he speaking like if she was an animal to be at a zoo? Yes, I agree she's not someone you could see everyday but the way he portrayed that… It really made me feel uncomfortable.

"I don't believe that." Thank you, Yoona. "I honestly don't know her really well or at all for that matter, as I'm not her doctor, but I do believe everyone can be helped."

"Lee Soo Man could easily just put her down ages ago; Ho Sung would've done the same but they never did. It's more cost effective to have her dead than to spend money on her medication and treatment." I felt like my guts were punched. "She's valuable and the Asylum will never find another mad woman like her if she ever leaves this place. They know that. Cruel reality is the Asylum will never let her go."

My heart skipped a beat. No. I refuse to believe that. She was doing fine before with me. We were improving! I know Yuri said she knows how to fool doctors around… But I really felt we were doing good. The small gestures she did for me when I visited her in her cell those days really seemed genuine. I refuse to believe the smile she had on her face every time I walked trough that heavy door was fake. I refuse to believe the connection – or whatever we had - between us was just for play. We may still have a long way to go till she tells me her true story and show me who she really is but we were getting there. Step by step, we were getting there. And after all of that, to picture Taeyeon would grow old and die in this fucking place was too much for me.

I felt a lump in my throat and excusing myself I left the refectory leaving the three doctors behind. She can't die in here. What about her family and friends? Weren't they waiting for her to be free? Does she even have a family? All the answers she gave me about her childhood and her parents are mostly inconsistent and fantastical. She was always saying her parents have different occupations. I don't know if she lies like that because she never had parents so she just makes up things however she wants to or if she just lies to piss me off and have a good laugh. Her friends? Just as mysterious. Or even more as every time I tried asking her about them she just stated she is lonely and never had any friends. Whatever is the case, I don't know a single thing about her past. At the same time I know she isn't a cold mass murderer. I know she isn't a psychopath thirsty for blood. I know she is not entirely evil as every one at this facility states to. And if she isn't all of those things, I know she can be helped. And what she needs to finally be helped is a doctor that treats her like a human being and not like an animal needing for electric shocks and sedatives. This is pretty much how she's been treated in all those years it seems. Pills and more pills were shoved down her throat whenever she has an episode in hope they will shut it down. They are just sedating her, killing her little by little till one day an overdose happens and she is literally not a threat anymore because she'd be just dead.

The mere thought of Taeyeon dead scared the hell out of me and walking out of the Medical Center I decided to go to the house unit she was currently in. I needed to know she was alright.

Walking through those dark dirty corridors was a bit hard for me. Even so because of the male officers in charge for securing the area. The officers in general were just a bunch of immoral scums, what if they abuse the female inmates? Some of them were rather pretty, Taeyeon just being one of them… Wouldn't be dangerous to have those men around her?

I was surprised and relieved when I got through Taeyeon's unit and actually found Hyoyeon around.

"Hey, what's up, Doc?" She greeted me with a smile. I bowed my head to her. "What brings you here? Ah, don't answer.. Your little patient."

I looked away. "Yes."

"Can't go in, Doc." She said shaking her head.

"I just need to see if she is alright." I tried to bargain.

"She is more than alright... sleeping like a log."  
Okay I know she said that as a way to calm me down but in reality I just got more worried.

"Officer, please… Ho Sung increased her dose and –

"Yes and now that woman will behave properly."

"No! You can't see it? This is extremely dangerous!"

"Sorry, Doc… Don't care."

"I'm her doctor!"

"And how that makes a condition to get in?"

I was kinda angry she didn't let me in. Why that would be so bad? "I'm her doctor and I should have the right to see my patient."

"Strict policy. No visits allowed in the SHU."

"What if she dies by overdose?"

"It's a good thing. One less maniac to deal with."

Unbelievable. This place is unbelievable. Electrifying guns, scumbags correctional officers… my mood wasn't just the best that week.

"Did you know the government could arrest you if they find out you were in duty and an inmate died because you refused a doctor's request?" Her eyes got bigger. Well, actually they could be fined not arrested but judging by her reaction she didn't seem to know that."Especially when that particular doctor you denied is the own patient's one."

"So if she dies there – she pointed the chunky door with her head – is it my fault?"

"You are being negligent to her medical condition. You know she has a risk, was warned by a doctor, and yet you refuse to listen and don't do a thing the sightliest to change the outcome. You might respond in the court if she dies when you're in duty ." To be honest I wasn't really sure if that might happen but I was trying my best to make her mind and let me in.

"Shit." She blurted it out a little afraid. "Okay, get in." I tried not to grin when she got the right key out of the chain and opened the door. "Check her out and leave."

"I need some doctor-patient privacy." I quickly said. It was kinda weird that I didn't feel any threat coming from Taeyeon even if she had assaulted me just a few days ago. I was much more comfortable being with her by myself than with somebody else around to protect me.

"Eh? What if she goes all crazy and assaults you again?"

"You are just here outside. If she goes all crazy, just come in and stop her. Please, officer, just give me some privacy. It's important."

"Just don't get yourself killed. It would be embarrassing not to stop an inmate while in my shift."

I chuckled and nodded my head. Once I got inside the dark cell, Hyoyeon closed the door behind me. The metallic screech noise of the door pierced through my ears and I felt like that sound would become torturous after a couple of days in that place.

The cell in the SHU was totally different from her own cell in her respective unit. No drawings on the walls, no shelves to keep her belongings, no books or puzzles to keep her mind busy… It was only the bed and the loo for her physiological needs.

Feeling my heart beating faster than usual I approached her bed, where she was lying asleep. Her face was turned to the other side and it was the first time I took time to really appreciate how pretty she was. How her jawline was so defined, her light skin, her petite figure, how her long dark hair gave her a serious and matured look, contrary to the blonde hair picture from her old files, yet she was still very childish like. How she could be beautiful, adorable, dangerous and mad at the same time was just a mystery for me.

I took her wrist and using two of my fingers I pressed them down, measuring her pulse to be sure she was indeed sleeping. I sighed relieved when confirmed. Moving my hands up, I touched her on the forehead to check up for any sign of fever. No sign.

She mumbled something I couldn't possibly hear and moved her head up, frowning slightly.

"Taeyeon?" I called.

Her breathing just got fast paced. Was she having a bad dream?

"Taeyeon? You alright?"

She muttered something resembling a 'no'. Was she answering me? By the second and more expounded 'no' came around I knew she wasn't exactly answering my question. Her forehead started to have droplets of sweat and her head was just wobbling around trying to get away with it.

"Hey, hey…" I softly spoken, trying to calm her down. "It's alright…"

"No…."

"Everything is gonna be alright."

My eyes went wide as my heart skipped a beat when I heard her say:

"Oppa."

And it wasn't the word itself that made me feel that way. It wasn't because apparently there was a random guy in her background story. It wasn't because I heard her saying something she would probably never tell me diligently. It was actually because her voice was just above a whimper level and a silent tear had just stained the skin between her left eye and ear.

I had never seen her vulnerability. I had never seen her other self than the cheshire one she is constantly pulling off with me. And to witness Taeyeon being vulnerable just made me vulnerable as well. And when she opened her eyes and those dark orbs stared at me, I felt my tears clogging up inside my ducts again.

"Hey…" my voice was just above a whisper. I smiled weakly, just trying to comfort her. "You alright?" She didn't answer me. I sat on the edge of the mattress and with a tissue I started to wipe the sweating on her forehead. She moved her eyes from me to the ceiling and for a while we both stood silent. I knew if I ask her about that "oppa" she would be angry so I forced myself to be quiet. Whoever he was in her life, it was a big thing, especially if my assumption that she was abused was correct. I have no intention to make her uncomfortable when all those days I was actually working on to have her trusting me. I will not push her away when I so desperately needed to see her.  
But as the time went by in silence, I started to feel like she didn't want me there. Was she still angry with me? Is she angry at herself that I saw her like that?

"You want me to leave?" I decided to ask. If she isn't happy that I was there I would leave. She didn't answer me. Her eyes still staring at the stained ceiling. Was she ignoring me?

"I just wanted to see if you're alright. Alive at least." I nodded my head, bluntly giving her explanations of why I was there even if it wasn't really necessary. "I'm glad you're." No answer yet. Yes, I'm convinced she is ignoring me. That ceiling can't be so interesting for so long, especially after days being captive in that room and having nothing else to stare other than the ceiling itself and the walls around.

She doesn't want me here.

I sighed, feeling a bit hurt for how she was treating me. I shook my head and another deep sigh, I stood up from the bed in order to leave her. I couldn't move however because all my body froze in shock when her hand hold my wrist. My eyes looked back at her and her large eyes stared at mine.

"No." Her voice was almost inaudible. "Don't leave."

The tears I had keeping inside, now just ran freely down my face. I don't care I looked stupid as fuck crying for that. You know when I said there were things she used to do that it didn't look like it was just for play? That was one of those things. The sad tone in her voice, the ever present twinkle in her eyes now just gone... At that moment she was the most vulnerable I've ever seen and to be reminded of what Kyunhyun told me – She might never leave this place –, Kim Taeyeon, the mad woman everyone stated as a psychopath, was there asking me to stay. It was too much for me.

"Don't... leave me alone."

"I won't."

A timid smile appeared on the corner of her lips. I won't leave her alone. I don't want her to be alone. She needed help more than she realized. And I'd be there for her. I wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

My heart was pounding hard as my eyes traveled throughout her face. Her eyes were closed and the trail of tears were no longer on her face. I was still worried about her though. Who is that _oppa?_ What he has done to her? What has happened?

How could she make me feel that way I had no idea. I mean, she killed her previous doctor… that basically means I'm not safe as well. She might as well as kill me like she did once before yet that didn't seem to matter to me at that moment. I don't know why but the fact is that I didn't feel threatened. The more I talk to her the more I feel comfortable around her. I wish I knew if she feels the same way. Yuri told me she fools many doctors around. Am I being fooled? Is that how she fools doctors? Making them feel comfortable enough around her and then slays them all?

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked rather politely. She opened her eyes and stared at me. "It's not about that _oppa._ " I added quickly. I didn't want to push her. She was in her own right to not really tell me if so she desired. "It's about Dr. Young..." She frowned confused. "Why did you kill him?"

She sat up on the bed, her eyes still locked at mine. "You think I killed Dr. Young?" She chuckled but I noticed it sounded rather fake.

"But Ho Sung said…"

"I killed a doctor, not that it was Dr. Young."

"Still you killed a doctor…-"

"I thought you were different." She said interrupting me. I felt my heart miss a beat. "I really thought." She nodded, but now her eyes were looking away. Her voice was low and she sounded hurt by that. "Out of all doctors I had, I honestly thought you'd be different. But no. You're just like every one else."

I've felt so hurt by that. "No. I'm not -

"Yes, you are. Just taking every thing they say as ultimate true, no matter who they are. If they wear a white coat, then their word is above every one else." A lonely tear came from her eyes and I felt like my guts have been punched hard. She wiped the tear with her hand and raise from the bed turning her back to me. "You don't even try to understand, you just bluntly accuse."

"No...Taeyeon... I-" My eyes started to burn.

"I wish I have had killed Dr. Young though." She stated rather angrily. "And so all the other before him. I wish I had killed every one in this shithole." Her voice changed from hurt to angry in just a second. "But I didn't. And I can't. Not anymore." Not anymore? What's that supposed to mean? "You just shove pills under my throat in hope one day I could die."

"No, Taeyeon..."

"Is that why you came here?" She asked rather coldly. I gulped hard, shaking my head. "To just accuse me?"

"No...I-..I care about you..."

"You're lying… like all of them."

"No, I'm not!"

"Get out of here." I was no longer able to hold my tears.

"No...Taeyeon..-" I raised from the bed as well. "I-"

"Get out!"

No, I wasn't going away. I needed to stay. She needed company and I was there to help. "I'm sorry...I-" tried to hold her hand but she pushed it away angrily.

"Do not fucking touch me!" I've got silent at how she sounded. It was the coldest I've ever heard of hers. It gave me chills. In not a good way. It somehow sounded like... a _threat?_ If I touched her… then...what would happen?

"I wanna help you!"

"Liar!"

"No, I'm not a liar!" I said defending myself.

"You're here just to accuse me!"

"No! I..." I clenched my jaw and fists mad at myself. I ruined everything. Brilliant, Tiffany! How could you do that? What a great helper you are… "I'm sorry." I nodded my head, still crying for the utter feeling of guilt.

"Just fucking leave."

"Taeyeon…."

"You don't understand -

"I'm trying to!" I quickly said it. My voice came harsh and that made her look at me. I was offended by what she said. I hated when people compared me to other doctors. I'm not one of them! I'm me! "I do care about you! And I'm here talking to you trying to understand why you do the things you do. But you don't believe I can help you. You don't trust me. You don't tell me what's going on or how you're feeling… how is that supposed to make me understand you?" I raised my voice, angrily. Somehow I felt like all my struggles towards her have been bottled up and then finally released. "You just stay there accusing doctors to be assholes because they couldn't help you… well guess what? They couldn't help because _you_ never really helped them back! You fool every single doctor in this facility at your own will pretending you have different psychosis when you actually don't because it all a big fat joke for you!" I felt my heart going wild inside my chest. "And do not dare to say I'm like all the other doctors here because you know I'm not! I gave you cake! I bought your freaking candy! I tried to stop Ho Sung to increase you dose! You're so freaking selfish that you don't realize that what I've been doing for you is more than I ever done to a patient of my own!"

"It was your own choice to do it so. I never asked you anything." She retorted. I felt my heart squeeze.

"You're so freaking selfish you don't realize this hurts you more than anything."

"It doesn't hurt me."

"You're wasting your life in this cesspool!" I spat it out angrily. "Because for you...it's fun to be into trouble. It's fun to piss people off. It's fun to kill doctors and officers and inmates… You really think this makes you respected amongst your peers? The more you kill the more prestige you have, is that it? Well, the more you kill the dumber you are, Kim Taeyeon. You will perish here and when you realize you've could avoided it then it will be too late! You won't be laughing anymore because what was supposed to be just a few years sentence became a lifetime! And you won't have no one to put the blame on but yourself!"

My chest was rising and falling from my sudden outburst. I knew I was being harsh but that was how I felt. I was mad at how she just chose to ignore all I've done for her. I was mad for caring about her well-being when she was just being offensive and ungrateful.

"Get out." I gulped when I heard her icy cold voice again.

"You're a loser." I left it out.

"Get out of here!" She said more agitated. I nodded my head, convicted that was the best thing to do in that moment. The environment just had became awkward and tense, anyone entering it would feel it.

I swallowed hard once again and turned around in order to leave that cell. Before opening the metallic door, my eyes gave her one last look behind. I clenched my jaw when I noticed her hand wiping her tears. I felt miserable to be honest. But I wasn't taking that back. Sometimes all you need is to hear the harsh truth. Maybe Taeyeon will realize that acting that way only hurts herself and she will stop causing all that trouble. That's what I was hoping for. That she can behave herself. If she does, I could get her out of here.

"Why you are still here?" Her husky voice called me back to my senses. "Get the fuck out of here!" I exhaled and finally left that place, closing the door behind me, not really managing to hold back my tears.

"Doc?" I ignored Hyoyeon as I walked out of that corridor. I needed to clean up my face and above all, my thoughts.

"You alright, Tiffany?" Yoona asked concerned. I was quiet that day. Actually I was quiet ever since my argument with Taeyeon. Days have passed since then, but I was still feeling guilty. The way she looked at me...the way she talked… It wrecked me. That week was honest one of the worst I've ever had. It was a dull, lonely and hateful week. The hateful part was totally on me though. If I hadn't bluntly accused Taeyeon of killing Dr. Young, she wouldn't have been mad at me and I wouldn't have been mad at myself. Yes I was mad at myself.

I know what I said might put some sense in her head but at the same time I couldn't overlook it. It's really wrongdoing of me to go there and suddenly accuse her of killing Dr. Young when she hadn't. And calling her a loser when in fact she was an inmate and had _nothing_ here, it was very dickish of me.

"I'm alright." I tried not to make her worry but my voice came out rather lifeless.

"No, you are not. What happened?"

I sighed. "I might have said something hurtful to somebody."

"Was it a friend?" She asked curiously.

"Sort of." Was it a friend? Was Taeyeon my friend? Since when she stopped being just a regular patient and started to be someone I deeply cherished?

"Have you tried apologize?"

"Yes, but she didn't want to hear it."

"Have you tried apologize?" She asked again and I frowned my brows confused.

"I've just told you she didn't want to hear it."

"Was it an honest apology?" Yoona raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Sometimes we say sorry for our mistakes but they don't really sound genuine. Sometimes we say sorry but then we're doing the same mistake over again the next day. When you think about it, we didn't really apologize. To apologize is to reckon you won't do it again and now that you'll be more self-aware of your words and actions to not hurt again."

My eyes fell to the floor beneath my feet. She patted my back. "If you truly apologize and explain yourself, I'm sure your friend will forgive you." She smiled kindly. It made me feel a little bit better. Just a little bit...because...The thing is... _my friend_ was Kim Taeyeon. She wasn't exactly the person you expect to forgive. She is actually rather ruthless.

"ROOKIES COMING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! ROOKIES COMING!" Shouted one of the officers inside of the facility. Some of the other officers cheered up. The officers and the doctors around the refectory quickly rose up from their tables and left the place in order to have a look at the new incomes at the front yard.

Saturdays were the days the family members and friends come for visit. I was deeply relieved that Asylum allows visitation. It's a great support for the residents to re-encounter their dear ones. The resident and the visitor is deserved a private booth. The "booth" is a see-through cabin containing a desk and chairs. Touching is not allowed and to prevent any 'extreme' behavior, the inmates are handcuffed as well. Officers stay put outside the booths for any emergency.

Walking through the corridors Yoona smiled as we passed by Sooyoung talking to another woman.

"That's her sister." Yoona cared to explain. "She comes every weekend."

"That's awesome."

"Yes, it is."

My eyes squinted when they recognized Taeyeon inside one of the booths. At first I thought I was delusional, but no… It was her! I would recognize that face anywhere! What she was doing here? Why was she out of the SHU? And who was that woman she was talking to? Friend? Sister?

Taeyeon's expression wasn't the brightest to be honest. She seemed to be only listening to the woman than in fact engaging in a dual conversation.

"Huh, Yoona, do you know who is that talking to Taeyeon?" I didn't really expect her to answer the question so when she did, it kinda surprised me.

"You are in first name base with her?" She asked rising her brows. "That's really nice. It seems like you two are getting along well." I felt my cheeks burning. "And that...is Lee Soonkyu."

"Is she a friend of hers?" She chuckled a bit. I blinked confused.

"She's actually Lee Sooman's niece. She often comes here to check how things are going. Some say she gives personal reports back to her uncle."

"Why is she talking to Taeyeon?"

"Whenever she comes here she takes her time to speak with some of the residents. Seems like today was Kim Taeyeon's turn."

"But I thought inmates in the SHU were isolated all times."

"They are. But when the niece of the chairman demands to talk with one of them, it no longer matters if they are in the SHU or not."

I nodded my head understanding. My eyes never being away from Taeyeon as we were walking to leave the building. I would give my life to hear that Lee Sonnkyu was saying, but I decided to finally look away and follow Yoona.

Even after Sungmin and Baekhyun left my office, I was still silent. Taeyeon was back to her cell after the week in the SHU, and now was back to my office for her formal session.

The tape was there swirling, recording that session, yet I haven't said a word. The last talk we had was still haunting me. Taeyeon was sitting on the chair across of me, her hands were cuffed behind her back to prevent her from hurting me physically and her eyes were glancing at the floor. I knew she was still hurt by what I have said.

There was no right way to start that interview other than apologizing myself."I'm sorry." I hoped she could sense the tone of honesty in my voice. "I'm really sorry. I was a jerk to say that." She didn't move an inch. I gulped, feeling that whatever we had between us might never be the same again. "I never meant to accuse you...I-" I swallowed hard, trying to not cry. "I wanted to understand why you did what you did...but I was inconsiderate and very thoughtless. I'm really sorry."

Her eyes still kept looking down.

"It's really hard for me to deal with you. You are so unpredictable… suddenly you are pulling this jokey persona and then you're not. Suddenly you're lying and then you're not. I don't know what's is real and what is not." I sighed feeling that I was releasing my struggles about her. It was somehow making me feel better. "I don't know you. I don't know Dr. Young. I don't know Ho Sung. But I know that if you don't show me who you really are then I will always have to find out by other sources… and though they might not be true...it seems the only way to find out more about yourself. You can't blame me for believing them. You can't expect me to doubt a doctor's word when you never really tried bother denying them in any other way." Again she didn't move an inch. Her eyes were still glancing at the floor.

"I want to understand you, Taeyeon. But you don't believe me. You take me as a rookie and as such you think I have no skills to really help you...and because of that...you don't trust me. You don't tell me anything. You don't tell me what's going on or how you're feeling and that frustrates me because I wanna help you and you don't let me in." I felt my heart beating faster than usual. "Please...Let me in."

Her silence was somehow mortifying for me. I was so used to her sarcastic answers and jokes that her lack of response was one of the worst things happening to me.

And then she moved her eyes up, looking straight at me. "I'm really sorry." I repeated. "I'm sorry I accused you of killing Dr. Young. I'm sorry I called you… a loser." After a couple of seconds, she moved her eyes downwards again. I guess she is still hurt. I mean, I don't really blame her. What I did was kinda dickish.

"I'm really sorry." Her eyes looked at me again. She raised her brows and looked down again. I frowned not really getting what she was doing. I decided to follow her line of vision and realized she was glancing at the voice recorder on my desk. She raised her brows again and made a movement with her head pointing to the object. Does she want me to turn it off?

I cleared my throat. "It seems you're not gonna cooperate today." I said rather sheepishly. " _Doctor Stephanie Hwang, interview with Kim Taeyeon is finished."_ I pressed the button, stopping the recording, once I've finished speaking.

"Finally, _toots_! I thought you would never figure that out!" My heart pounded even harder when I heard her calling me _toots_. She is calling me _toots_ … That means… That means she is alright! That means she is back! It was such a relief I let some tears free down my face. She giggled finding the situation quite amusing. "You're a lost cause, Tiffany Hwang."

I know! "You're not mad at me?"

"Not anymore. I mean...it doesn't really make sense to hold a grudge against you after all."

"Huh?"

She smiled, showing a bit of her dimple. "I was mad that you just seemed to go to my cell to talk about that doctor I killed...I barely remember him… And after what I did for you… you just go there to accuse me of killing someone I hadn't..."

"Huh?"

"It's not nice, Doc." She said shaking her head. "It hurts."

Whatever she was talking about it didn't make any sense to me. "I'm not following."

"You should be careful with your words, toots." I felt my cheeks burn when she called me that. She leaned forward and whispered. "Especially in a place where the walls have eyes and ears." She said looking around the room. "And a name per se." She quickly added.

"Huh?"

"Kwon Yuri." She stated. "She listens to the tapes." My eyes snapped wide open when she pointed to the voice recorder on my desk. Wait, what? Yuri listens to the tapes? The interview tapes? "If she hears that you brought me candy, you will be fired." My head was spinning. I don't think I was really getting what was going on. She seemed to noticed that because she chuckled and explained further. "I saved your ass, Feisty Fanny. Try saying thank you instead."

I was still in shock. My brain was trying to process just what has happened and what I've heard. She saved my ass. That's what she said. She saved my ass.

She really did.

If Yuri knows I smuggled candy for an inmate I will indeed be fired. And that will probably be on my resume… _Doctor Stephanie Hwang fired for smuggle in illegal food…_ I'd be lucky enough if I ever find a job again. She saved my job. She saved my career.

She saved my ass.

But then my heart missed a beat after I realized something.

"You didn't have an episode?"

"No."

"So...you..." I blinked feeling uneasy for some reason. "You deliberately assaulted me?"

"It was the only way I could stop you from saying it."

"Why? I asked feeling my whole body fuzzy inside.

"I know the protocol. The session would end immediately and it would sound convincing enough."

"Why?"

"I have a plenty of bad records, one more wouldn't look suspicious. They would all see as a natural thing."

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I have a bad reputation..."

I shake my head. "No. Why…. Why did you do that for me?" My eyes stared at her. "You received electric shocks, you spend a whole week in that awful place… For... _me."_ My voice cracked a bit. "Why?"

"I don't mind those." She don't mind those? Didn't hurt? "I don't mind to spend some time in the SHU if by the end of it you'd still be here." My guts twisted as if there was an alien inside. "You're the best doctor I ever had in this shithole, no way I'll let you go, toots. But really… be careful next time. I can't save your ass all the time. Especially when you're with you other patient, Irene, ain't it? I hope you haven't said anything about candy to her."

Have I? My heart was beating so fast I could barely process what was going on. I squinted trying to remember if I talked about candy or any thing related to food to Irene in our sessions. I remember giving her macaroons when the she was in the yard with Wendy… Are there there cameras at the yard? Oh shit!

"You have?" Taeyeon asked worriedly after she saw my face turn pale.

"I-I…." How can I say that? "I might...have given her...some food." I whispered embarrassed at myself. Jesus, Tiffany, how more reckless could you be? "At the yard..."

"Are you stupid?"

Yes. "I-

"But you're still here so..that means they really didn't see it." She thought about it for a second.

"I made sure no one was looking." I assured.

She snorted. "Beginner's luck, ain't it? Who da thunk?"

"Huh?"

"There are no cameras at the yard. Lucky you, Doc."

Lucky me. Lucky Irene, lucky Sooyoung, lucky fucking me. Shit. I felt my heart was about to explode. What I was thinking? How could I give illegal food to those girls and not check the area for surveillance cameras. I covered my face with my hands, stressed about that. I heard her giggle. Yes, of course for her it was funny. For me, it was like my heart had been ripped out of my chest.

"How do you know that?" I asked raising my head towards her. "How do you know there are no cameras at the yard? They could be hidden on trees or something."

"I just know."

She is smart. She probably have looked around the area after all those years in here.

"How do you know Yuri listens to the tapes?" I asked cautiously.

"I overheard some officers talking about it."

And then it struck me. If Taeyeon is aware that Yuri listens to the tapes, then she is being completely cautious with these interviews. _"_ _Kim Taeyeon is_ _here for so long, yet she is always getting herself into trouble."_ Is she? If she knows the protocol and that a session would end immediately when she becomes violent, then that means a lot of time she went to the SHU _deliberately!_ Just like she did with me, she faked many episodes just to go to the SHU and stop the sessions. And if she overheard officers talking about, that means Yuri doesn't keep the information she knows to herself.

Taeyeon is lying because that would make Yuri not know anything about her. And if Yuri doesn't know, nobody will know! If they knew, they could use it against her. Considering how assholes those officers can be, it's very easy to use personal information about those inmates to mock and humiliate them. But Taeyeon is safe. She's safe because she is constantly lying.

That's why Dr. Young diagnosed her with pathological lying!

When I visited her in her cell the first time, the day after I did the inkblot test with her, she told me no other doctor had gone there. She also said Dr. Young never cared to talk to her outside these formal sessions. When I think about it, the most honest talks I had with her happened when there was no recording whatsoever. If Dr. Young and the other doctors never bothered tried talking to her outside these walls, then they couldn't possibly know that every bit of information recorded here is fake.

" _What are you writing?"_

" _New info about your diagnosis."_

" _Can I read it?"_

Shit. So she wanted to read what I was writing to be sure the new info wasn't a big deal to Yuri know about!

I can't believe all this time she's been that cunning.

How many times she stopped a session? How many times she went to the SHU just to protect a valuable information? Yuri doesn't leave the Archive so every thing she knows must come from the files and the tapes. Taeyeon's fantastical stories and behavior led Yuri to believe she was a dangerous psychopath because that is what she got from all the records. Taeyeon is not primarily fooling doctors, she is fooling Yuri and all the other officers in here!

I felt like I suffered a mental breakdown.

And all that I said to her, calling a loser and selfish made me cry tears out. How could I say that? God, I was so...

"You alright, toots?" She asked innocently. Only then I realized I've been silent all this time. But really, figure all that out gave me a serious mind blow.

"I-

I didn't know what to say. That was such a big hit for me I was finding hard to breathe. "How long?" I asked curiously wiping my tears. "For how long you've been aware of this?"

"A while." A while? A while? If she had fooled many doctors as Yuri stated then that means "while" is actually a really long time.

"Are you the only one to know that?" My voice came lower in a whisper. That was like a top secret information. If she overheard officers talking about that, someone else might have heard as well.

"I don't know."

"Did you tell anyone?" She shared a cell with some other inmates, maybe she could have told them herself.

She shook her head. "Rumors and talks around here spread as fast as STD's, Doc. You better keep it to yourself."

"God, you're so smart!" I said in a rush. That came unexpectedly even for me. But really… she was smart. She was probably the smartest resident of that Asylum. My cheeks burned when I saw her smug.

'Cheers, Doc! But it's about time we quit the talking and you give me what you owe me." I raised my brows. "My gummy worms."

Yes, her gummy worms. I owed her that, and after what she did – saving my job and career- I was owing her my life. I opened my bag and took the package out from it. I decided to buy a medium size package instead of a small one back in the day and now I'm kinda glad I did. She deserved the biggest package of gummy worms of the world!

Her eyes twinkled seeing the colorful jellies. Just to picture the sweetness and the flavor of those jellies after so many years eating distasteful food must be salivating, so it was no surprise when she swallowed hard in anticipation.

"How we're gonna do it?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"I believe you want to eat in your cell… I can't give you the package here. What about the officers?" My head pointed to them outside. Thank goodness they were outside. They made a fuss before the interview started saying that they needed to stay to protect me from another strike from hers, but after some arguments they decided to leave. I don't think I'd ever find out about that whole information if they were here inside with me.

"Put inside my pants." She rose up from the chair quickly. I felt my brain melting. "What? You never hid food in your life? C'mon, Doc!" I gulped feeling extremely uncomfortable. Why that seemed so difficult I had no idea. It was an easy thing to do, just put the plastic package inside her pants… But why my hands were shaking? Why my face was blushing? "Hurry up, Doc!" I gulped, walking closer to her and as fast as I could I pulled the waistband of her pants forward and placed the gummy food inside. I looked up to her face and the alien attacked my guts again. Seeing her that close to me, _sensing_ her that close to me made my heart beat completely wild.

After I placed the package inside Taeyeon 's pants, she turned around, shaking a little bit of her legs to be sure the candy was safe from falling. "Do you hear it?" She asked suddenly and I blinked obliviously.

"W-what?"

"Can you hear it? The plastic...Can you hear it when I walk?" She walked throughout the room staring at me to see my reaction. I couldn't hear it. But I didn't know that if this was due to my ears hearing only the beats of my pounding heart or because the noise of the plastic was well muffed.

"I'm not sure." I said instead.

She looked down at herself. "This is not very reliable. The walk from here to my cell is a bit long… And with those grumps following me behind… I don't know… the plan might fail." I nodded my head. It's remarkable that she could think of all those details."You can give me tomorrow at my cell." I looked at her. "You always go there, right?"

"I can't." I shook my head.

"Why not?"

"Yuri is finding weird I'm going to your cell so often. I don't go to any other patient's cell other than yours…"

"Yeah, it's kinda suspicious."

"She asked me to stop going there and I gave her my word I would."

"It's better this way. It's not a good idea to let them know we are mates."

My eyes snapped wide open. "Mates?" How dare she? "I'm not your mate! You won't be mating me, prisoner!"

"No, Doc..."

"What the hell you're thinking you're talking about? Mates? You think I'm a sort of..."

"No, Doc...I mean _mates_ as in _friends."_ She quickly explained. I in the other hand felt my face blush tenfold. She laughed out loud and I covered my face with both hands utterly embarrassed.

"Why don't you use common language?" I asked still embarrassed. "You're always speaking manly slangs… it's hard for me to follow along."

"You're learning new vocabulary… it's good." She said still giggling for what I've said earlier. "But we are not mates as in mates...we are mates as in friends, right?"

"Are we?" I asked raising my head looking at her. It was still red from blushing but I didn't care. It was a big deal for me to hear her saying we are mates… I mean, friends! FRIENDS, TIFFANY! Friends!

"Are we not?" She raised her brows. "You give me cake and gummy worms and I give you answers. It's a fairly close relationship. Especially because you're a doctor and I'm an inmate. You know that whatever we are doing now is illegal but you don't care about it. I can call you a ma-... _friend_." She ended up clearing her throat. "The question is… Am I your friend as well, Tiffany? Or this is only a one sided relationship?"

Whatever she was doing that day it was making my brain not working properly. I felt like I was a clueless teenager. I was a graduated psychotherapist working at an asylum for criminals yet I never felt so dumb. " _Was it a friend?" "Sort of."_

"You're my friend, Taeyeon." I nodded. She smirked again.

"Good. You scared out of me for a sec there, Doc." I gulped hard. "But let's get back to the matter…" Her voice came in a whisper again. "My gummy worms!" She added. Oh yeah, those freaking gummy worms. "How to take them to my cell?"

"You don't need to take them to your cell." I replied. "You can eat it here." It's the safest choice in my head. "Besides, you saved my career… I'm willing to give as much gummy worms as you want." Honestly, it was the least I could do.

She grinned. "Is that your way to say thanks?"

"Yes."

"Cheers, Doc! You're so nice!" I smiled not entirely honest though. No, I wasn't nice. I'm not a nice person. I'm not a nice doctor. I sad awful things to her when all she did was to protect me. Good grief, Tiffany… don't be such a dick next time.

"I'm really sorry… for what I've said." I said one more time. It seemed like those words would always haunt me.

"Oh my, you really are, aren't you?"

"Yes. And I promise I won't accuse you again."

"So you're not gonna trust other doctors?"

"I will listen to whatever they have to say… But I won't take them as truth. I will before anything else… talk to you about it."

"Ow, look at you, learning how to be a good doctor." She joked with a child's voice. I blushed. I mean, I was so fucking reckless back then...it's no wonders Taeyeon think I'm a rookie. But now I know things. I know things many here don't. And I managed to know those from Taeyeon and that's a big thing there. She's the inmate everyone regards as one of the most dangerous, she's the psychopath...the one to not be trusted… And she was the one teaching me things. It was indeed a close relationship. Especially for her, as no other doctor bothered trying know her any better.

"But I have a problem in my hands… Doc." I looked at her. "They are cuffed. How could I eat the gummy worms with my hands like this?" She asked innocently.

Good question. It's not that I could ask the correctional officers to free her. "I don't know..."

"Can you feed me?" The alien inside me moved its tentacles around rather mercilessly.

"What?"

"Get the bag, open it, put the gummies in my mouth." She said getting closer, I stepped back.

"I..."

"I don't bite."

I gulped hard feeling extremely uncomfortable. But to be honest, it seemed the only way to work it out.

I opened the package carefully for the officers don't hear the sound of plastic unwrapping and held one gummy between my index and middle fingers and my thumb. Small drops of sugar covered the tips of my fingers as I took it out of the bag.

Taeyeon smirked and then opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out in a childish way. "Aa~~ah." She hummed, expectantly.

I carefully placed it on top of her tongue and she then she started munching it. I smiled when she had tears of joy clogging up her eyes. "Is it good?" I asked glad for her.

"It's so fucking good! You will never know how good this tastes..." I chuckled. I placed another gummy a few inches away from her face and she got it with her mouth.

And then I felt like my heart was thorn into a million pieces as when I placed another gummy on her mouth, her tongue licked the drops of sugar on my fingers. The warm and wet feeling around the tips of my fingers made my brain go overdrive. The warm and wet feeling around them made my smile fade away because there was another feeling inside of me. There were _thoughts_ in my head.

And that feeling and thoughts…. I needed to get rid of them. I needed to carry them to my grave. Because one of the main principles of the medical ethics is never to develop strong feelings for your patient. And Taeyeon being an inmate… makes what I'm feeling extremely illegal.

It's illegal and anti-ethical.

And for some reason, to be reminded by that wasn't doing anything to stop me.

Be reminded by that… was only turning me on.

Extremely.

* * *

It was extremely difficult for me not to think about Kim Taeyeon. Even after our session was over, she was still in my head. Even after my usual coffee before sleeping, she was still in my head. Everything that she told me that day, everything that happened those last few weeks… from how she faked an episode in order to save my career to the realization of why Dr Young misdiagnosed her were totally mind blowing for me. But nothing, nothing, could compare to what I was actually feeling.

I knew that feeling. It wasn't new to me. I know what it meant.

What was new to me was the fact that I was feeling that for Taeyeon.

I never really felt that for women. For males, sure. But for women? Never.

But there it was Kim Taeyeon, a mad female prisoner who happened to be my patient making me feel that way. Honestly, what the fuck was happening to me?

How that could be? How come I suddenly feel this towards my patient?

How could I go against all the ethics of my career?

I don't really know. What I know though is that I need to forget that feeling. I need to bury that feeling and that thought down to the ground. I can not let myself liking Taeyeon that way. Ever.

And it's very easy to say. To do it though, that's where lies the problem. And I know it was a problem when I couldn't take my eyes off her the next day. She decided to leave her grovel, just chilling in the yard with her back against a tree. Her attention was totally focused on a bird chirping on a bench as her right hand was trying sketch it on her notepad. I was afar just watching her. Watching her hand holding the pencil, her focused expression, her hair blowing gently with the breeze, her lips…

"Crowd control to Major Hwang." I heard someone say beside me. I blinked, looking away from Taeyeon and recognizing Yoona.

"Huh?"

"I was calling you but you didn't seem to hear." I felt my cheeks burn.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright…" She quickly dismissed it with a smile. "How have you been?"

Awful. "Good." I nodded. "Just tired enough."

"I heard the reason why Kim was sent to the SHU… She assaulted you."

"It was a misunderstanding." I quickly added. "It's alright, really."

"It's good to see her outside." She moved her eyes from me to Taeyeon. "She seems to rather stay indoors so seeing her out here is good for a change."

"I think she misses the sun and the grass after her week in the SHU."

"Well, the SHU sure makes you miss things you didn't know you would."

I chuckled. "She told me the exact same thing once." I said remembering her words.

"Is she your favorite?" She bluntly asked making my eyes snap wide open.

"What?"

"Is she your favorite?"

"No! Yoona! You know we can't do favorites! It's not ethical-

"We can't but occasionally we do anyways." She raised her shoulders. "We can't say this to anyone, having a bias is not ethical at all, however, when you get to know them and treat them for so long sometimes it's really hard not to do it." I lowered my eyes. I didn't know what to answer. I stood quiet.

"Is she that friend?"

"What?"

"The one you said hurtful things to..."

My heart beat extremely wild. "No! Taeyeon is not my friend!" I quickly added it. I felt my eyes burn a little because I was being a fucking liar. I'm denying Taeyeon as a friend when just the day before I actually said to her we were friends.

"Favorite patient only?" She asked raising her brows suspiciously.

I somehow got angry with that. "She's just a patient! She is no friend of mine!" She saved my fucking career and here I'm denying what she meant to me. Why? I was angry, I was nervous, I felt like anything I could say could lead people to know about my feelings towards her and I could never let them know about it. "And she is not my favorite!" I denied again. Taeyeon was my ultimate favorite. I would exchange all patients I had in my entire life for Taeyeon only. If I could, I would have sessions with her every single day because it's fucking boring for me to wait a whole week till meeting her again on Mondays.

"I'm a psychologist, Tiffany, I can tell when you are lying." I got silent. "You watch over Kim Taeyeon more than you do with you other patients. You care much enough to ask my patient about her. And not only once..." I looked down, feeling angsty. She patted my back. "There's nothing extremely bad at having a favorite patient. Especially because Kim was your very first patient here at the Asylum."

"You have a favorite?" I asked curiously.

"Jung Jessica." She said calmly. Well if she has a favorite then it means I'm not that in trouble. "It's normal to have a favorite patient even though we are not supposed to."

"I never had a favorite."

"Before Kim Taeyeon?" I nodded.

"Taeyeon is different from everyone I ever came across. And she challenges me in ways I never was before. Although it's uncomfortable and even exhausting is also very refreshing..."

"That's odd." She laughed.

I frowned my brows. "How come?"

"Well… Most of the doctors hate those types of patients. Have a patient like that is very stressful and they are usually uncontrollable, making us struggle with them. You being a doctor who actually likes that is very odd." I didn't know what to think but that was how I felt. I liked being challenged by Taeyeon. "Dr Young, the one before you, hated Kim Taeyeon." I started to feel uncomfortable.

"Taeyeon doesn't like him either." She chuckled.

"He was a harsh doctor for sure." I squinted. "You're not a harsh doctor… so maybe that's why she doesn't pull your leg so much."

"It shouldn't be the other way around?" I asked confused. "Because he was harsh she shouldn't pull his leg so much..."

She raised her shoulders. "Kim Taeyeon was very unstable under Dr Young's care. But she seems to be different with you. She seems to like you. That's really rare."

I felt my cheeks burn tenfold. "That's nonsense." I tried to deny it.

"Have more faith in you as a doctor, Tiffany. You are the only one I know who likes to be challenged by Kim Taeyeon. That's a good thing… it means you're not afraid of her." My eyes got bigger.

"Stop tremblin', Doctor. It's not a good sign. It shows you are weak and that you are scared."

"I-I'm not scared."

"Yes, you are. I can see it. It's all in your face. Doctor Hwang is a scary bunny." I looked towards Taeyeon, she had a pouted face as the bird was no longer on the bench. I smiled, feeling fuzzy inside. Yes, I was no longer scared. She didn't fright me at all nowadays. Funny how that actually happened.

"At the same time, I need to advise you to be careful." Her voice called me back to my senses. "Even though she is your favorite, keep in mind that she is still an inmate." I looked down to my feet. "And yet it is normal to care about her well-being, you should never look at her more than just your patient."

I gulped silently, feeling numb in all my limbs. "I don't." My voice came more for a whisper.

"Don't cross that line, Tiffany."

"I won't." I assured.

She nodded her head. "Well, I should be going, see you at lunch?"

"Yeah, sure." I smiled to her but as soon as she left, it fainted away. If Yoona was suspicious about me and Taeyeon that basically means others could notice as well. I had to be even more careful not to give them the idea Taeyeon and I were friends.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to leave the yard. If I needed to show them I'm not her friend the least I could do was not to be nearby when she was outside.

There was a big problem happening in my life.

You see, I'm supposed to show everyone in my workplace I do not hold a favorite spot for Kim Taeyeon. And the problem is that, day by day, it just gets harder to do it so. She is constantly in my mind. Even if she is not in the yard, I can't just stop thinking about her. The distance I tried to keep from her it was basically making me miss her even more. It was driving me insane.

All I wanted was to talk to her again, see her again, giving her gummy worms again, feel her tongue on my fingers again. I never knew something so small like that could be so powerful. I mean, Taeyeon had no fault in what I was feeling. She didn't do that in order to drive me crazy, she probably doesn't even know how wrecked I am because of that simple gesture; she just licked the sugar on my fingers because she missed the taste, she had no dirty thoughts in mind. I had. I was the issue here. I was the one who was making this out of scale. I'm the wrong one.

I couldn't sleep well that night. And the night after. And the night after that. The dreams I had involving her tongue weren't suitable for a room with pink hello kitties like my own. Just to think about those dreams was enough to give me goosebumps. It was physically and mentally exhausting. Frustration was all over me as I couldn't have good nights of sleep.

One of those nights I woke up suddenly, scared by the sound of thunder, the pouring rain outside and thick water drops hitting my windows. I had the air conditioner on however it wasn't enough to cool me down. The heat was still there, down there and it was driving me insane. I didn't know what to do to stop it.

Actually I did know.

I may have pink hello kitties in my room for decoration but I wasn't that innocent. I knew how I could stop it. The problem was that if I did it, it meant I was going over the ethics of my career. It meant I was recognizing that feeling as a legitimate one. Touching myself thinking about my female criminal patient? What the fuck, Tiffany? How low can you get?

So, NO. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it. My fingers won't touch that spot. No matter how much it throbbed, begging for touching, I would keep my fingers away from it.

"My God, what happened to you?" Yuri asked upon seeing my face when I entered the basement. I was looking miserable. All those sleepless nights really took its toll on me and now I was the closest being to a zombie. My brain was dumb and my eyes had bags underneath it that even with make up they were still visible.

"Had trouble sleeping." I said yawning. I crossed my arms over my chest in order warm up a little. It was still raining outside and the whole building was a bit chilly.

"Dude, you look like you came from a war zone." She joked. I just shook my head. "Morning, Doc. How can I help you?"

"I was wondering if you have access to all residents' files." I said trying to not make it sound as an affirmative.

"Sure I do." She said proudly.

"So that means all written reports and interview tapes, right?" She nodded her head. "Could I borrow a few samples of Taeyeon's tapes with her last doctor." I was interested to know how harsh Dr. Young was. Maybe I could understand why Taeyeon and Irene don't like him after all.

"Oh, Okay." She grabbed one key from the thousands she had on her key-chain and opened a metallic door I swear I've never noticed it was there in the first place. It's not that it was a secret door, it just that in my head, that copper metal thing would never be a door leading to the largest room of that facility. I felt like I entered the FBI General Archive… my God, that place was huge! Tons of aisles filled with boxes and drawers and papers.

I was walking besides her in awe with the size of that room.

"So… how you've been, Doc?"

"Good." I confirmed. "And you?"

"Same old." She shrugged her shoulders. "How is going with your patients?" I felt like she wanted to mean something else with that but I wasn't entirely sure of what that else was.

"Pretty fine."

"I heard the reason why Kim was sent to the SHU." Of course she would know.

"It's alright, really."

"Is she your favorite?" She asked and I felt like having heart attack. Was that so obvious? Really?

"She's not my favorite. I don't know know where you got that from..." I tried to dismiss it.

"You call her by her first name..."

"I call Irene by her first name as well."

"No, you don't. Irene first name is Juhyun."

"She asked me to call Irene."

"Kim never asked you to call her Taeyeon..." I started to feel uncomfortable.

"I don't get what you're trying to mean..."

"I've told you before… to not get close to her. She is dangerous. But you seem not to listen to me."

"I listened to you. I stopped going to her cell. I only see her on Mondays now."

"You've visited her when she was in the SHU." I clenched my fists.

"Yes, I did. I was worried, Ho Sung increased her dose and I just went there to check if she was alright. It's no big deal."

"Hyoyeon told me you left the cell in tears." I stopped walking. She did the same. "Doc… listen to me...You're getting way too intimate."

"No, I'm not." I denied.

"No one leaves a cell in tears unless something emotionally happened." I felt my heart miss a bit. "I know you care about her. She's your patient after all. Not only that, she was the very first patient you met here. Some doctors held those people in soft places in their hearts. Victoria cares about Jung Soojung a lot more than she cares about Amber Liu for this particular reason. But Victoria doesn't leave Jung's cell in tears. She doesn't even go there unless extremely necessary." I felt all my limbs getting numb. Again.

"Taeyeon is not my favorite!" I denied again.

"Then don't call her Taeyeon." I felt my stomach burn. "Call her inmate, patient, fucking cunt… I don't care, just don't call her Taeyeon. Calling her by her first name only makes you intimate."

"We are not intimate! I call her Taeyeon because there are so many Kim's around here. It's easier to call her that. Besides, after since I called her Taeyeon she started to show progress in her behavior -

"I wanna help you, Doctor." She quickly said not letting me finish. "I know you have that inmate as your favorite patient. You're not the only one here. But I can't stand still and just watch you do whatever you're doing. I'm warning you, Doc… more from a friend than from an officer... Stand back."

"I'm fine, Yuri."

"For now yes. But if you look at that inmate more than your patient, you will be in trouble. You know what happens when you cross that line, don't you?" Yes, I know. I could be fired. Depending on the level of it, I even could lose my medical license.

"Yes, of course."

"So don't."

"No line is being crossed here, I swear!"

"Yet." She added. "But to do it you're just one step away."

My eyes burned. I felt like crying but if I did it that basically would show that what she just said was true, so I did my best to hold my tears. I stood still. My legs were shaking, I could barely move. Once she came back with a large box, she passed it to me. "Be just like Dr. Young and you're safe."

I squinted completely uncomfortable with that. Be like Doctor Young? The one who never bothered trying talking to her in the first place? The one who Taeyeon wished she could have killed? The one who doesn't care about any of those residents in there? Be like him? How that could make me safe?

"I'll try." I finally said, feeling ill with my own words. Yuri sighed and nodded her head, patting my back.

I gulped, feeling my chest just about to explode. My arms started to feel tired by the weight of the box. I sighed and I finally decided to go to my office. At least there I could cry in peace.

"This is Doctor Young. In this room with me are, my occasional patient, Kim Taeyeon, and Correctional Officer Yunho." I heard a manly, calm and raspy voice come out from the record machine as soon as I pressed play. The tape I picked was just a random one and it really bugged me Dr. Young didn't seem to speak the date or the order of the sessions. If it wasn't for the post it note on those tapes made by Yuri, I couldn't know from when the tapes were.

"I heard what you've done to your cellmate… Tell me, patient, why do you do the things you do?" Well probably he is talking about the incident with Yeri.

"I dunno. You're the doctor here, shouldn't you have the answer for all my issues? Tell me, Doc, why do I do the things I do?"

"Notoriety, respect..A constant need to stand from the crowd." Okay, those were not Taeyeon's case. If she really had the need for notoriety and the need to stand from the crowd she wouldn't spend her days inside her cell. She wouldn't even look like how she does. She would probably dye her hair green and get herself a bunch of tattoos just for the sake to be different.

"Remarkable, Doc. You are so clever, the only one to fully understand my struggles!"

"Every doctor who comes across you claims a different type of psychosis. Anger issues, multiple personality disorder… the list is endless."

"Well, Doc, I try my best." I recognized Taeyeon's usual voice. It made me chuckle. Hearing those tapes after what I found out was rather funny.

"I don't believe it. Anything can be cured with the correct treatment."

"And...you think … you can cure me?"

"Oh, I know I can." Okay, he seemed to be cocky.

"That's wonderful! You know, Doc, it's been years I've been waiting for someone to cure me. All those previous doctors, they barely had me on the right track! But you.. You got what it takes, Doc!"

"It isn't Doc, patient, it's Doctor Young."

"You're quite old." I shook my head laughing a bit.

"Shut the fuck up, inmate!" Another harsh voice came and I assumed it belonged to officer Yunho.

"Today I thought we'd try something different."

"Ow, you'll make me blush, Doc. I'm shy."

"Tell me about your childhood." Yeah, the childhood talk again. Taeyeon had so many doctors she just might have rolled her eyes at that.

"You just told me we'd try something different, I was looking forward to that, but NO! You have to just stick the childhood talk again in this… tell me, DOC-TOR, why do I have to do the same old same old every session in this cesspool?"

"I'm the one who raises the questions, patient."

"Expecting me to answer them for free?"

"No. I understand most of you residents in here won't do things for free. And as such, I need to step up my game. So, patient, I'm giving you a chance." My heart beat faster for a reason. There was something in the way he was talking that made me not like one bit.

"A chance?"

"Answer my questions."

"Or..."

"There's no need for an "or", patient. Just do you job, answer my question and you'll be fine."

"Uh, the strong and fierce type, ain't it? You know, Doc, I think -"

My hands covered my mouth when I heard a zap sound. I recognized that sound. It was from the electrifying weapons. What the fuck? Why he shot her? Taeyeon didn't scream but I knew those hurt.

"It's not Doc, patient. It's not Doctor either. It's Doctor Young, do you understand?"

I gulped, feeling a silent tear run down from my eyes when Taeyeon answered. "Yes, Doctor Young."

I paused the tape, not wanting to listen any further. I was not in condition to listen to that abusive scumbag. And I don't care for what Yuri said...I would never, NEVER, be like him. Those inmates could be criminals but they still should have basic human rights. Electric shocks were low as they could be, but electrifying those people when they just called you Doc was ridiculous. Did Taeyeon always had those abusive doctors? How many times she was tortured -because that's what those shocks were, plain torture- in here? No wonders she hated him. No wonders she wanted to kill him. No wonders Taeyeon and Irene hated him. I just listened to one, ONE, session with him, imagine having thousands of them with that man, receiving punishment every single time… hell, it's a miracle Taeyeon hadn't kill that bastard!

Shit, I can't believe he was so mean! All this time...all this fucking time... I've been trying to defend him, looking for him because he was older and more experienced than I am… but he was just being a disgusting sadistic pig!

"Out of all doctors I had, I honestly thought you'd be different. But no. You're just like every one else." That never hurt so bad. It never hurt so bad I accused her. It never hurt so bad I ignored her remarks about Dr Young.

I was feeling suffocated, my chest area burning and my eyes could not hold the tears any longer. I got out from the office, just to try have a fresh of breath air. God, what's wrong with this place? Couldn't they see all those procedures just made it worse? How could the Asylum expect the inmates to behave properly when everyone out here didn't have any decency in the first place?

My eyes got widened when, through the windows, I saw a figure in the yard. Orange jumpsuit, barefoot, with arms spread wide… "Taeyeon?" I left it out. My heart beating faster than before when my brain recognized the person. What the hell she was doing there in the pouring rain? Was she mad? When the days are sunny and bright she rather stays indoors but when the weather is rainy like shit she decided to go out? What the flying fuck?

She clearly was giving any fucks, given by the expression on her face. She was smiling and turning on her heels, feeling the water drops fall on her face. It was the happiest I even seen from her. It wasn't exhilarating happiness, it was a calming one. That one kind you feel in the end of the day after you go to a café to meet up with your friends. It might not look much, but honestly, for a person like Taeyeon and in a place like this after all she's been through, it's probably the happiest she can get.

Quickly the remembrance of what I have listened kicked in and my sudden comfort was just gone. I clenched my fists, angry by what Dr. Young did to her; angry by what everyone here did to her. How could they do that? How could they hurt her so badly?

I took the lift and without even thinking about it twice, I left the building. My clothes got heavier due to the fabric getting wet.

"Taeyeon!" I shouted, calling for her. "What are you doing here?" She turned her head towards me and placed her left hand on her ear, indicating she couldn't listen. "What are you doing here?" I said louder but she didn't answer. I sighed and walked further, with my hand over my head, getting closer to her. "I asked what are you doing here..."

She smiled harder. "Enjoying the weather." My body shivered. Has her voice been always that husky?

"It's pouring!" She giggled happily.

"Yes it is." She closed her eyes, letting the rain run over her face. My eyes followed the water drops run over her forehead, her bridge of the nose, and making me gulp when they were over her small lips. Had they always been that kissable?

"You could get a cold." There was a smile at the corner of her lips. "You don't mind, do you?" I asked upon seeing her care-free expression.

"Nope." She said grinning harder. A couple of seconds had gone by in silence. "You don't need to stay, Doc." I looked downwards a bit uncomfortable. "You could get a cold."

"It's okay, I don't care."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Then why you covering your head?" I felt my cheeks blush. I don't even know why I was doing that. I was soaking wet already, what was the purpose of try covering the top of my head?

"I don't..really...know." I said lowering my hand. She snorted finding it funny. "Why do you like rain so much?" I asked interested.

"I'm a broken person." I clenched my fists angrily. "And the rain washes the shards away." She said and made my chest burn.

"I'm sorry." My voice came as a whisper.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I heard the tape." I tried to say. She opened her eyes and looked at me curiously. Had her eyes always been that delightfully charming?

"The tape?"

"Dr. Young sessions." I lowered my eyes. "He used to..." "He used to… t-torture you." I finally said, feeling ill.

"Why are you sorry for? It's not your fault."

"I..."

"You're not like him. That's enough for me, Doc."

"You said I was." "Back then...in the SHU… You said..."

"You were behaving like them." She corrected herself. "But you're not like them. You're not like him."

"I will never be." I assured. She smiled harder.

"The society of broken people greet you." She said doing a little bow. My cheeks blushed. Even though it was for fun, it was the first time Taeyeon ever bowed to me. She was different. She was care-free, light-hearted somehow...Was that because of the rain? Was that part of her real personality? I didn't know… but she was different, that I could feel. And that made me feel happier.

"You're not broken." I reassured.

She shook her head. "Nah, toots, don't be biased." I felt my chest burn again. "I'm broken, bonkers and bad."

"Sometimes… I really wonder if you're a bad person at all..." I said sincerely.

"I'm not with you..." She smiled showing her teeth in a silly mischievous way. My heart fluttered. "I mean you bring me gummy worms… why would I be bonkers and bad with you?" She softly giggled again.

"I don't know." I softly said, barely paying attention to what she was saying.

"Will you bring me more next week?"

"Huh?"

"The Gummy worms… Are you gonna give me more next week?" Her lips had a light pink-ish color and all I could do was wonder how it would taste like. Suddenly I felt my mouth get dry. How was that possible? It was raining… "You alright, toots?

"Yes..."

"Hm, Doc?"

"Yes..."

"My eyes are up here." I quickly looked away from her lips, feeling embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." I stand back. I haven't noticed I was so close to her, my body completely turned towards her, facing her. I gulped completely blushed for what was happening to me.

"So… gummy worms next week?" She asked hopefully. How could I say no?

"Gummy worms next week." I nodded.

"Same size?" She tried to bargain.

"Same size."

"See… how could I be bonkers and bad with you?" She asked jokingly.

"Well, you're being bonkers staying under this pouring rain!" She laughed making me feel all fuzzy inside.

"I told you didn't need to stay. It was your choice to be here."

"And it was your choice to be here in this cold as well. And that's a bonkers choice!"

"I'm not cold." She shook her head. It took me a couple of seconds to realize I wasn't cold either. There was a pleasant feeling inside me warming me up, like when you eat a bowl of ramen in a cold night; the warm feeling stays there and makes you feel just right.

"Me neither."

"So why you're complaining?" She asked pushing me lightly to the side. I chuckled.

"I'm not complaining. I'm just stating you being under this pouring rain is mad. No one else is doing the same."

"You are." I blinked. "You're just as mad as I am." She smiled.

"I'm just giving you company. I'm not mad." She giggled. The warm feeling just got one degree hotter.

"You're the only doctor mad enough to give me candy; company and proper care. That's madness, Doc. The difference between you and me… is that I'm broken mad. You're just mad."

"What happened to you?" I asked concerned. "What made you get broken mad?"

"Well, Doc, let's just say I once had a very bad day."

"Really?" Was that all? One bad day made her be like that? What could have happened to her? Was that one very bad day somehow involved to that oppa?

"Yeah, you know, ways of Lady Life to throw me wedgies. Guess I made her giggle for a while."

"I'm really sorry." I said lowering my eyes. "For everything that happened to you… and for how Dr. Young treated you… and maybe all the other doctors before him – I'm really sorry."

"It's alright. It's not your fault." She said again. I know it wasn't my fault, but I had to somehow show her that I cared. I genuinely cared about her and my other patients here. Taeyeon being my favorite just made me be more sensitive towards her but this was also due to the fact that I couldn't see her as a bad person per se. I was aware that she killed people, and considering how she did with Yeri, she killed people in brutal ways, that's not forgivable at all … but I still couldn't see that cruelty in her. It was moments like this that she really makes me wonder if she deserves to be in a place like this.

I was called back to my senses when I heard the beeping sounds indicating that her recreation time is over. I felt a bit sad inside.

"Guess it's time to go." I said not exactly hiding my disappointment. "See you around, Taeyeon."

"Huh, Doc?" She called me.

"Yes?"

"May I use the showers of the Medical Center?" She twisted her lips.

I raised my shoulders. "I see no problem with that." She smiled and together we walked back to the medical building.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" As soon as we entered the building, a correctional officer complained and stopped us. "Don't you see the mess you're doing?" "And she is not allowed to enter here, she needs go back to her cell!"

"She needs to use the showers..." I explained. Well, to be honest, I also needed.

"She can use the showers in the Penitentiary. The showers in this facility are for the officers and doctors only."

"But the showers in the Penitentiary are so dirty and crowded." She grimaced. "Besides, the water is fucking cold I feel like I'm showering in the North Pole."

"You think I do give a fuck?" The man filled his chest and faced her angrily. "You think this is a resort 5 stars? Go back to your fucking cell and take your damn icy shower, inmate!"

"Officer, please, just for this time." I tried to bargain.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Doctor?" He asked and I frowned confused.

"Why would I be ashamed of myself?"

"Playing in the rain along with the inmate?"

"I wasn't playing in the rain… and this inmate happens to be my patient as well. She's my responsibility."

"Will you clean her shit as well?"

"What? I just -"

"I'll clean the place up." She suddenly said. We both looked at her. "If you let me use the showers, I'll clean the place up. The whole building."

"Every corridor and every corner?" He raised one of his eyebrows.

"Every corridor and every corner." She confirmed. I don't think this was a good idea. Especially because I saw a grin on the man's face which didn't look friendly at all.

"Very well, inmate. Go take your damn shower and clean all the shit of this building."

After she finished her shower she was given a dry black t-shirt and orange pants as her uniform was still in the laundry.

I knew that wasn't a good idea.

Because Taeyeon promised she'd clean all the mess in this building, every other officer used this to dirty the floor in order to make her clean it up again. It really hurt me to see them mistreating her, but I couldn't confront an officer in front of so many other officers. So in order to prevent myself for getting angry at them, I cowardly left Taeyeon alone and got back to my office.

I sighed, feeling exhausted. My eyes glanced at the box containing the her record sessions with Dr Young. My fists clenched together angrily. That fucking bastard.

I took the tape out of the machine and throw it back to the pile of tapes in the box. I lift it up and carried back to the basement. I was no longer interested in what that scumbag was doing. I could barely hear his voice and not getting mad.

Once I got at the basement I knew I was in trouble. Yuri's expression was harsh and she had her arms crossed over her chest.

"Something wrong?" I asked rather sheepishly.

"You're playing with fire, Doctor Hwang."

"What?"

"I know you were playing around with her."

"Oh for God's sake I wasn't playing around in the rain!" I said annoyed. Everything was just starting to piss me off. Dr Young, Yuri, Ho Sung, those officers! Fuck, all they do in this place is sticking their noses in matters they don't understand! "She was being fucking mental under that fucking rain and I just wanted to know what the hell was her problem! I wasn't playing, I wasn't fooling around! I was doing my fucking job!" I said throwing the box of tapes on top of her desk.

"It's not your job to be friends with an inmate!" She said harshly

"And it's not your job to stick your nose in those residents files! It's not your job to listen to those tapes and pretend you know everything about them because you don't! You are not in position to tell me how should I do my fucking job! You can't point at me and call me unethical when YOU are not ethical at all!"

"It's the last time I warn you, Doctor." She said firmly. I frowned confused. What is that supposed to mean? "Your relationship with Kim is not just a regular Doctor-Patient one…"

"Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean my relationship with her is more than a doctor-patient-

"Last warning..." She quickly added not letting me finish. Was that a threat? Would I be fired? She grabbed the key to open the door behind her. "Stand back from that inmate."

"Or..."

"There's no need for an 'or', Doctor. Just do your fucking job and stay away from her."

I clenched my fists angrily. With no further words, I left that fucking place.

I got even angrier when I ran across Taeyeon on the corridor of the ground floor. Ground floor! She was still cleaning the ground floor!

And her clothes, which were dry, quickly got wet when officer Chanyeol throw her a bucket of icy cold water.

She had just came from her shower, clean and dry, just to be wet again because of a prank. She didn't complain nor she said anything. My fists clenched together.

Fuck it.

Fuck Dr. Young.

Fuck Yuri and her threat.

Fuck that asylum and its shitty behavior.

I will not get as low as them. I will help Taeyeon! I will help wash her shards away! I was her doctor and I will not let those people brake her even more than she was already broken. She already had her "one bad day" she didn't need another one.


	3. Chapter 3

My heart sunk in my chest when I saw her leaning against the wall, curled around her knees, wet and tired. Her head was sunk between her legs and if I didn't know her any better I'd say she was crying in silence. Not giving a slightly fuck for what Yuri would think of me, I got closer, knelt myself down in front of her and with a towel I borrowed in the showers I placed it on her shoulders.

She lifted her head up and I saw her large brown eyes gleam in a gesture of gratitude. I used one of the sides of the towel to clean her face. She closed her eyes and raising her chin up, she left her head rest against the wall. In a complete comfortable silence, my hands moved to use the towel to dry her cheeks, chin, forehead, ears and the top of her head.

"Don't go." I heard her low voice say, a bit muffed by the towel in her face.

I looked at her. "Where to?"

"Away." My heart beat faster.

"Why would I go away?" I asked trying to comfort her but in all honesty I was breaking down inside. I knew that I was just one step away to be in trouble. As much as I dare to defy Yuri words and the Asylum itself, I knew Ho Sung had power to fire me if he knew about Taeyeon being my favorite patient. And I doubt that what I am doing now is gonna be overlooked by him, or any other person in here.

She raised her shoulders as if saying ' _I don't know.'_ "Just, don't… go."

"I won't." I said feeling my eyes burn. She was vulnerable. Again. Just like I saw her in the SHU, she was that vulnerable again. It made my heart broke down. "I won't go away."

She nodded her head, closing her eyes again. "Thank you, Doctor Hwang."

"You can call me Doc." I quickly said. She smiled, though it was very far from being the smile I saw when she was under the rain.

"I know I can call you Doc. I can even call you Feisty Fanny." I chuckled.

"Yes, you can."

"Thank you, Doc." She said rather politely.

"You need to change your clothes." I said realizing that if she stayed with wet clothes she could get a cold.

"I can't."

"Why not."

"Inmates only have one spare of clothes. That's why they throw me the bucket of water. I wouldn't have other spare so I need to stay with those till my uniform gets completely dry."

"Assholes!" I cursed annoyed. Her eyes were still closed and in a vain attempt to at least dry her clothes a little, I pressed the towel against her shirt and pants. She was still barefoot and with the towel I cleaned her feet and toes, just to be stopped when I got to clean her right ankle.

" _How many scars you have, Miss Kim?"_

" _Four. I have one just above my right ankle that I got when I fell from stage..."_

I gulped, feeling completely uncomfortable. She did have a scar above her right ankle! What the fuck? Was that for real? She was telling the truth? Does she have four scars? My eyes start to burn and my heart started to ache. I sniffed, feeling my nose runny.

"You alright, Doc?" She asked upon hearing me sniffing.

"I..." God, I was so sorry. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"I.. didn't believe you." I said, feeling ill. "You said...you had a scar above your right ankle… and I didn't believe you."

"Of course you didn't that's why I told you." I blinked.

"What?"

"You're so convinced I'm a liar that even if I tell you a true story you'd still think -

"It's a lie." I finished remembering what she told me in our very first session.

"See? I was right. You can't tell when I'm lying or telling the truth." She smirked, showing her pretentious side again. It's been a while since I saw it the last time.

"Is it true then? All four scars?" I asked curiously.

"In a level yes."

I frowned confused. "In a level? You mean they are not literally scars?"

"Oh no, they are. They are those types of scars you can never forget. Deep buried in your soul till the day you die."

Emotional scars. Okay, something really _deep_ happened to her. Something so extreme that made her lost it. It made her not give a fuck anymore. _"I'm the kind of person who is always digging its scars, you know."_ Well if that's true then somehow every time she remembers about those scars she gets vulnerable.

She was the happiest I ever seen under that rain. " _I'm a broken person. The rain… washes the shards away."_

"Your _very bad day_..." I started. "It didn't happen when it was raining, did it?" I asked softly.

She looked up to the ceiling. "No. It was sunny, hot and sweaty. Funny how flicks fool you around."

"I'm sorry."

She chuckled quite amused. "Today you're feeling sorry for so many things…"

"I..."

"It's not your fault, Doc." She shook her head.

"I know but..."

"I'm alright." She assured with a faint smile. I knew she wasn't. Whatever happened to her, it still torments her to this very day. "Thanks for caring about me, Doctor."

"Of course I care about you." I said comforting her. "I will always care about you." I noticed her eyes widened in surprise. They quickly got clogged up with tears and that wrecked me. Was she about to cry? The jokey sarcastic Taeyeon would consciously cry in front of me? "T-Taeyeon?" Her tears easily fell from her eyes. It made me extremely uncomfortable. "W-what's wrong?" She didn't reply. Her tears just running free across her face. I guess there was something triggering her emotions. My heart was so broken I just wanted to hug her. And that's what I did. Well, sort of. I saw how her expression quickly changed and attempting to make her feel fine, I placed her head over my chest, my hands caressing her dark strands of hair. "H-hey… it's okay… it's alright..." I said, softly, trying to calm her down. My hands over her head trying to comfort her for whatever may have triggered her. "It's alright… Everything is alright..."

"Please don't go." She said muffed against my chest again.

"I'm not going away." I said feeling my eyes clogging up with tears as well.

"Please don't go..." She said again, this time weaker. God, this was the most heartbroken I've ever seen from her. "Don't go… Please... Not again..."

Again? I never left in the first place! "I'm here. It's okay… I'm here." I said feeling my tears swollen my face. "I won't go. I won't go away."

"Don't... lie to me..."

My heart twisted. "I'm not!" "Did I ever lie to you?"

"Everyone lies." She said, I could notice her voice raspy. And there was snot from her nose against my shirt. And that was when I knew there was something else happening with her because out of all people who would cry with a snot, Taeyeon would be the last person I'd bet my life on. "Everyone lies... to me."

"T-Taeyeon..."

"Please...don't."

"It's alright… it's okay. I won't leave, I promise." I heard her sniffing. My hand caressed her back. "It's alright..."

"Doc?" She sighed.

"Yes..."

"The scars… They...hurt." I fucking lost it. God help me. I was her doctor, I needed to give her support. But there I was, stark wrecked.

"I know…" I whispered. My voice died down and I couldn't speak properly no more. "I know."

"Please, make it stop."

How could I do that? What a shitty doctor you are, Tiffany!

"I-…"

"Please, make it stop."

"I-I don't know what happened to you… I d-don't know what those scars are..." I said, feeling more tears run down over my face. "But sometimes… feeling the pain and crying is the best medicine. I know it hurts… but c'mon… let it out. Just cry. It will make you feel better." I tried reasoning. She sniffed again.

"Please… don't… go. Don't...leave me alone."

"I won't." I cleaned my face with the sleeve of my clothes and I felt my heart sunk deep when I saw a bunch of officers and doctors around us. Yoona and Seohyun were looking at me with a compassionate expression, while Hyoyeon had a very shocking expression on her face. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what to do.

"I..." My voice died.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Hwang." Lee Sungmin said and he lowered, pulling Taeyeon away from me. I shook my head. She groaned and pushed him away, or tried, but he was stronger than her. "C'mon, Kim, help yourself." He said, his voice a bit different from when he used to tell her to shut up. She lowered her head, her dark hair doing its best to cover her face. And taking a deep breath she deliberately placed her hands behind her back, awaiting for the handcuffs.

Why were they cuffing her? What she did wrong?

After the handcuffs were locked, she started walking, following Sungmin quiet with her head down. I could still hear her sniffing.

"What she did wrong?" I asked oblivious to all other people surrounded.

"She can't stay here." Seohyun gently replied "She's out of her cell for the whole day. It's against the rules have an inmate out of its cell for so long."

"But… she needs to clean the building up. Every corridor and every corner." I said still completely emotionally destroyed by what happened.

"We have cleaning personnel for that."

"But-

"Tiffany..." Yoona called me. I looked at her. She got on her knees and looked me in the eyes. "I think it's for the best if you go home."

"B-but..."

"Go home. Take a rest." She advised. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to help Taeyeon. She clearly needed help...but I knew they wouldn't let me see her. I sniffed and exhaled, feeling my heart ache still. Yoona raised from the floor and offered her hand for me to grab and stand up. "You need a ride?"

I looked at her. "I can drive you home." She said softly. I don't really think I was mentally stable to drive anyway. I nodded my head, accepting the gesture in gratitude.

"Thank you."

"C'mon."

I looked down on my feet and started to follow her. My mind though never really stop thinking about Taeyeon.

For the most of the way back to my place, Yoona and I were quiet. I knew she wanted to say something, but whatever it was, she ended up not saying at all. Once in a while, whenever there was red light, she'd ask me "Are you alright?" And I would just shook my head.

I never felt so heartbroken in my entire life. Big part of this was due to Taeyeon's breakdown, the other part was due to the officers and doctors witnessing what happened. The words would quickly travel to Yuri or even Ho Sung and...

"Am I gonna be fired?" I asked her suddenly after one of those red lights. _Please, no. God,_ _no._ _I promised her I wouldn't go away._

"It is not a decision of mine." Was that a yes? A no? It was so vague. "Just to be clear, I think you're a great doctor." I looked at her. Months ago I would be proud, now, I was just there, listening and expecting this could lead me to stay on the job.

"She needs help, Yoona." I said, my voice breaking down again.

"I know..." She sighed, compassionate. I gulped, feeling my heart still ache.

"She's...so hurt...and alone...and..."

"Tiffany..." She called me and I looked at her. My face bloated for all the crying. "It's dangerous to think this way."

"What?"

"If you think this way… that she's alone and hurt… all the wrong things she's done will be overlooked by you." I looked down. "The feeling surround you about her would be pity… and you can't feel that for inmates. You have to remember she's just your patient. Personal matter can not interfere with your diagnosis, let alone, your treatment."

"She needs help." I said, looking to the side, barely listening to her any longer. I was tired. I was emotionally exhausted. "She needs _my_ help." I closed my eyes, letting a silent tear run down.

"Well, out of all people, I genuinely think you're the only one capable to do it so." She complimented. "I've never seen her behaving like that before… that was very… intense." Yeah, it was. "And, from the bottom of my heart, I really wish that you won't be fired. You're a good doctor…" She repeated trying to make me feel better. "Moreover, if you are fired, I think that would leave Kim Taeyeon rather devastated."

Snot started to run down my nose. God, please, no, don't make Ho Sung fire me. Anything but this. Please. I can't leave. I promised her. I wasn't a liar. I couldn't be a liar to her.

I didn't know if it was for the whole mental exhaustion, all those nights without sleeping or all the tears I let ran, but it didn't take me long to sleep once I got at home. My bed never was so inviting and the sheets never have been warmer. And I just wished Taeyeon could have the same.

My heart was beating faster and faster on the way to the Asylum. I had no idea what was gonna happen to me. But one thing I was sure of.

Everyone was aware of what happened the day before.

Everywhere I went, I got looks from other doctors and officers. I was now officially known by all as Kim Taeyeon's Doctor. I mean, not that is totally a bad thing, but it was more comfortable when they didn't know that. Yoona, Kyuhyun and Seohyun avoided talking about the issue, which I was somehow granted for, but it wasn't unusual to walk past a corridor and notice officers whispering things to each other.

I was convinced I would be fired and that Saturday would be my last day at this place. So, when the hours went by and Ho Sung didn't really call me to meet him up in his office, I was more and more angst. Why was it taking so long? What was going on? I know he is aware of what happened. There is no way he doesn't know.

Maybe Yoona talked to him and convinced him to let me stay. I don't know. In my head, Ho Sung wouldn't let me stay pretending nothing happened. However, as he didn't call me or anything, I started to at least try acting as if everything was alright. I walked past the yard, not getting surprised when I didn't meet Taeyeon there. I don't even know why I was there in the first place. Taeyeon was the only patient from Intensive Care I knew and I kinda felt like she wouldn't be outside, so why was I walking through the yard with that hopeless idea that I could suddenly meet her in her orange jumpsuit sketching on her notepad?

The urge to visit her and see how she was coping was too strong but I knew it was for the best not to. So fighting my inner feelings, I just went with the flow; waiting the time go by.

When I saw Sooyoung, I met her one last time to give her the last macaroons I was owing her. "You okay, Doctor?" She asked upon seeing my blunt facial expression when I found her in her recreation time. The thing was… I had exchanged macaroons in order to know the name that could trigger Taeyeon's episodes but now I wasn't feeling like what I did was right. Taeyeon was telling me things. She was sharing moments with me she never shared with no other doctor. If Sooyoung tells me the name and I talk to her about it, she would know I got that from somebody else. And that feels like cheating. I didn't want Taeyeon to feel cheated.

"I'm fine." I said, but it came out rather fake.

"How is Taeyeon?" She asked and just the sudden mention of her name was enough to trigger me some sadness. How was she? Did she sleep well? Did she got a cold after wearing those wet clothes for so long?

"I don't know." I said down.

"Everyone knows what happened." She said leaning her body against the wall of the building. I gulped feeling uncomfortable. "It's very surprising for us. Who would think Taeyeon would cry like a baby?" I got extremely angry at that. Somehow it sounded like it was mocking her.

"She didn't cry like a baby!" I defended.

"Yeah, she did. She wept like never before with snot running down her nose, you know how embarrassing that is? She's probably embarrassed at herself."

"Shut the fuck up." I said angrily. "You know nothing about her! You can't mock her!"

"I'm not mocking her, I'm just stating that is embarrassing..."

"It is embarrassing that she cried?"

"It's embarrassing the way she cried. She showed her weakness." I clenched my fists angrily. Of course she showed her weakness! All those officers and doctors mistreating her for all those years, what she would expect? I don't even know how Taeyeon can handle this place. I felt my eyes burn and I stepped back, leaving her alone. "Doctor?"

"What?" I turned to her angrily.

"Don't you wanna know the name?"

"Fuck you and that stupid name." I said harshly going away.

I went to my office and upon closing the door, I let all tears I still had run down. My body slide against the door and I never felt so suffocated. Everything was so wrong… so twisted. That fucking place was everything but a hospital. They weren't after treating those patients, they were just taming them. And they way they were doing it, it was so… wrong.

Irene doesn't even belong here. The poor girl suffers all the same poor treatment from the other officers here and she is not even close to be dangerous. Yes, she was a drug dealer, but she sure belongs to a regular penitentiary where she could just do her time and be free again not in this hell.

And Sulli, well I was supposed to be her doctor but I've never met the girl. I don't even know how she looks like because she never really left the SHU. Why she was locked there? Why they were doing this to her?

And Taeyeon… Just to be reminded how Dr Young treated her, what he did to her, was so twisted. She was so tiny and broken, is it hard to leave her alone? Is it hard to leave all of them alone?

I sniffed and exhaled when I heard a knock on the door.

"Tiffany?"

I recognized Yoona's voice. I gulped, wiping the tears with my sleeves. I slowly stood up and opened the door, not looking into her eyes.

"You alright?"

I shook my head. She placed a hand over my shoulder. "You wanna have a coffee with me? I'm on my break now." I didn't want to but I guess it was better to be with Yoona than alone in that room just crying till my tears run out. I sighed and muttered a "thank you" to her.

I slurped some of the coffee, making me feel a bit warmer. It wasn't raining but the day was cloudy and cold, so a cup of coffee made me feel a little bit better.

"Did you...talk to Ho Sung?" I asked.

"About what?"

"You know… me..."

She shook her head. "I don't think you should worry about it. I don't really think you'll be fired."

"Really?" My eyes lighten up.

"The way she cried..." I looked down still feeling bad about it. "It was very unusual. No other inmate have ever breakdown like that. And no one would think that an inmate like Kim Taeyeon would be the one doing it." Funny how it sounds just like Sooyoung had told me. "On a medical point of view that was fantastic. You got something from her that all the other doctors before you couldn't. The officers and doctors… they are kinda shocked by how you did it."

"I d-don't even know how I did it." I said rather sincerely. She chuckled.

"But you did it. And yes now everyone knows she's your patient; everyone knows you allowed her to use the showers; everybody knows you stood in the rain with her… Everybody knows she's your favorite patient… I bet my medical license that Ho Sung already knows it too… But I think he realizes that even though she's your favorite it's still better to keep you around so I guess he's silently giving you another chance."

I exhaled extremely relieved. My shoulders never felt so light. Yoona showed me a gentle smile. "You have a connection with her. Breaking that is, in my opinion, stepping backwards." She sipped her coffee. "Maybe Ho Sung feels the same." Does he? God, thank you.

"Did you know..." I started. "About Dr. Young?"

"What do you mean?"

"He used to… torture her." I said looking away.

"Really?" I nodded. "I knew he was harsh… but I didn't know how much… I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't you get mad?" I asked. "They are so mean… What they do to those residents..."

"At the Asylum? Of course I get mad!" She blurted out. "Every time I see them mistreating one of my patients all I wanna do is to kick them in the face." Well at least there was someone there who I could relate to. "Though I have to say I feel like they mess with Kim Taeyeon more than with other residents."

"She'll go to the SHU." I answered. She frowned not following. "If she retaliates, she goes to the SHU. The officers mess with her because they know she wouldn't fight back."

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "People in position of power often do things they normally wouldn't in a different environment. A place like this… it surely brings the worst in those people. But they aren't bad people per se. They sometimes overdo it, but you know, they are doing what they can to keep the inmates under control. It's their job. And honestly due to all that happens here I don't think they are suited to work in any other environment than this. Luhan had to go under therapy after he left."

"I know it's their job… but couldn't they be a little bit less dick-ish?" She gave me a faint smile. "What they do...just makes it worse. Can't they see that?"

"They can." She said with a nod. "I guess they just don't care."

"She is not a bad person, Yoona." I shook my head. Yoona patted my hand. "I know it… I feel it… deep down there...she is not evil. She is not a bad person."

"Tiffany… There's a reason why we can't get intimate with our patients. Especially when they are prisoners… All the favoritism makes us have poor judgment..."

"I'm not having poor judgment. No evil person cries like that."

"No evil person kills people smashing their heads on the walls, Tiffany." My nostril dilated.

"She was just angry and -

"Look, I'm not saying Kim Taeyeon is the Evil on Earth, she isn't. But she isn't entirely good either. She's not a poor unfortunate soul. She did mistakes, she committed crimes and she needs to pay for what she did wrong. Just because she cried doesn't mean her crimes must be forgotten. I know she's your favorite, but you are a doctor and you must remain neutral." I know she was right. But how could I be neutral to her suffering? How could I just shake it off when she was hurt and broken?

"I..."

"Tiffany..." I looked at her. "If you want to stay in this job, you need to show Ho Sung you're not being biased. Just because he overlooked what happened yesterday that doesn't mean you're safe. If you keep getting closer to Kim Taeyeon, you _will_ be fired. And you might even lose your medical license. Don't risk you whole career because of one patient's tears."

I closed my eyes feeling my chest burn like never before. "I just… want to help her."

"You won't help her if you put yourself in risk. You promised her you won't leave her, remember? Then don't! And the only way you can stay here is to show Ho Sung you're not getting any closer to her than you already are." A silent tear ran down. I nodded, knowing that she was right. I was lucky Ho Sung hadn't fired me. I was having another chance here and I had to be careful not to spoil it. Taeyeon needed help, _my help._ She needed me in this cesspool. I couldn't just bluntly leave her alone here with all those officers mistreating her.

"I won't get any closer." I said feeling my heart twitching. "I won't put myself in risk." I assured.

My heart was beating faster in anticipation. The minutes never have been so slow and I was so nervous to see her that my hands were holding strands of hair tightly in order to give me strength. Strength to look at her eyes one more time; strength to be just a regular doctor and pretend she wasn't that important to me.

When I heard knocks on the door I looked up to the ceiling and exhaled too many times in just one second. Lee Sungmin opened the door and when she entered, my heart seemed to have performed a back-flip. She didn't even look at me. Her head was down, the face covered by her long dark hair and in silence she just walked in and sat on the chair across of me. Lee Sungmin and Baekhyun left the room without saying a word, just bowing their heads as the usual greeting.

My eyes looked at her, from head to toe, and I have never seen her so...different. Nothing there reminded me of the Kim Taeyeon I knew of. I mean, she was there ahead of me with her orange jumpsuit and her hands cuffed at front, but that was pretty much it. Everything else was different. Her posture was different; whereas before she usually would sit up casually in the chair, now she was sat up as if she was a student taking an exam. Her shoulders, which were a bit broader than usual in girls sharing her size seemed to be shorter and they were angled downwards, making her head just hang up there, almost lifeless.

I had no words with me. And the same seemed to happen with her, minutes have passed and none of us said anything. All I wanted to do was hug her, comfort her, show her that I was there for her. But I didn't.

"Taeyeon?" I called, my voice just above a whisper. "You alright?" She didn't answer, making me feel extremely emotional. "I'm not recording this session..." I gently said expecting that she would get happy with that. She didn't.

She didn't say a word.

"I brought your gummy worms!" I said trying to cheer her up. That made her look at me. I took the medium size package from my bag; quickly opening it and offering her a gummy. It did nothing to change her expression. "You don't want?"

She opened her mouth but she chewed the candy rather automatically. The joy I saw in her eyes the last time was just gone; gone like there was never before. I left more tears run down, feeling my heart sinking in.

"Please… talk to me..." I asked. I hated her seeing quiet like that. Especially after her breakdown the other day.

She twisted her lips, still quiet.

I walked towards her, getting on my knees and placing her strands of hair behind her ear so I could see her face. I gulped seeing how her eyes didn't have the usual gleam that made them look so delightfully charming. They were empty, sad.

" _She wept like never before with snot running down her nose, you know how embarrassing that is? She's probably embarrassed at herself."_

"It's not embarrassing." I said, meeting her eyes. "It's not embarrassing to cry."

" _She showed her weakness."_

"You're not weak." I affirmed.

Her eyes staring at mine, looking the saddest I ever seen of them. I didn't want her to think that what she did was embarrassing, it was not! There's nothing embarrassing in crying. I honestly consider it to be a good thing. Crying is a sign of emotions. It is a sign of a heart. She had one, mad broken, but she had one. And it's better a broken heart than not heart at all.

"You're not weak." I repeated.

I didn't know how many layers she had hidden in her personality, but that one, that saddest one, was definitely not my favorite. I wanted to see her happy one again, the one she showed me on that day under the rain. I wanted her to trust me, to feel safe with me, to tell me her stories, to make me laugh and to make me feel fine.

"Say something… anything..." I asked again, never feeling more miserable. "Taeyeon..."

"I'm sorry..." My eyes enlarged when I heard her say. "I made such a scene…It was ridiculous." Well, at least she was talking now.

"No, it wasn't!"

She sighed. "Yeah, it was. Ah man, I fucking lost it." She talked back to herself.

"Don't be ashamed of yourself. There's nothing wrong in that." I quickly said.

"I cried like a little girl."

"Taeyeon..."

"It was pathetic." I felt my heart twist around.

"No, it wasn't! I quickly denied. "It's a good thing. It just shows -

"I'm weak."

"You're not weak!"

"I'm weak."

"You're not!"

She sighed, showing sign of tiredness and sadness.

"I'm here… Taeyeon. I'm here to help you. I promised you I wouldn't go away, didn't I? Trust me. I'm not going away." Her eyes lighten up a little and she stared into my eyes as if it was reaching my soul. My thumb stroking her cheeks as a gesture of comfort. "It's okay to cry like you did. You're not weak. It's not embarrassing."

"Thank you, Doctor." I gave her a timid smile and hugged her. "And thank you for the gummy worms." She said, her voice muffed against my clothes.

"It's alright." I quickly said. "You want more?" She didn't replied with words, she just nodded her head. I got the bag from the floor, took one gummy out and placed the sweet in front of her face, which she got quickly with her mouth. Her eyes twinkled and that made me feel a little bit better. "Go to the yard." I said suddenly, making her blink confused.

"Now?"

"No, I mean, whenever you can, go to the yard."

"Why?"

"It's the only place I can see you outside these walls. It's not healthy to stay in your cell all the time, you need to see people."

"I don't like people."

"You need to see the sun."

"I don't like the sun." "I have sensitive skin."

I caressed her cheeks one more time. "I can't go to your cell. I can't show to anyone that you're my friend… The only place I can see if you're alright is the yard. I know the officers keep bugging you but...please, don't stay indoors all the time, it doesn't do you any good."

"It does." "I can draw… and read...and solve the puzzles… it's better than to stay under the sun sweating like a pig with the guards calling me cunt." I looked at her with a sad expression.

"Tomorrow then." I tried to bargain. "Go to the yard, tomorrow..."

"And in return you'll be giving me..."

I placed another gummy worm in front of her. "Ohoho, buying me with candy… how low can you get, Doc?" That made all the hair from my body go up. She smirked and started munching the gummy worm.

"I just...want to see you..."

"You see me every week… Isn't it enough?" No, it isn't. I count the days till Mondays in expectation to meet her once again.

"I'm just worried."

"You worry too much." She shrugged. "Besides, after my..." Her nose wrinkled and I knew she was angry at herself. "Pathetic breakdown, the guards will point and laugh at my face."

I sighed, feeling defeated. Well it is her choice to leave the unit or not so if she wants to spend her days at that small, dark cell, I can't do much. "I honestly think you should get outside once in a while. You don't need to talk to people. And it's not like people will talk back to you anyways..." She chuckled. "I just want to be assured you're alright..."

"I'm alright." She replied smiling. I still was worried about her though. I was still feeling insecure about her dose and not only that… The way she cried, it was very hurtful to see, and I knew that though she says everything is alright, it is not. She's not alright.

She opened her mouth and hummed "Ah~~ah" And I knew she wanted her gummy worms. I placed the sweet in front of her face.

And soon gummy worm after gummy worm, the bag got finally empty, leaving just the trail of sugar inside the package and around my fingers. My eyes glanced at the drops of sugar.

"You alright?" She asked raising one of her brows. I gulped, feeling extremely uncomfortable. Her tongue were red-ish thanks to the colorful sweets she had just eaten and all I could think of was how it should taste like. My fingers and toes curled.

"Huh… Your tongue is..." _kissable as fuck! "_ Huh...red...from the candy." I said trying not to show what was on my head. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, shit, really? How red is it?" She stuck her tongue out, not really helping. "Do you think the officers will notice?"

"Just shut your tongue."

"What?"

"I mean _hold!"_ I corrected, mentally calling myself stupid. "When you back to your cell, try not saying a thing and you'll be fine."

"You alright, toots?"

"I-I'm fine." I said, raising from the floor, but everything went wrong because my legs and knees were sleepy and that made me quickly fall again, pushing the chair backwards and fall on top of her. She hit the back of her head on the floor. "Oh God, I'm so sorry." I said in rush. She giggled and that made me blush tenfold. I got away from her, sitting on her side, trying to stretch my legs. "My… legs got weak..." I said still embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Stupid legs! Stupid knees! I looked at her, who was now sitting up as well, and my eyes fell on her feet. She wasn't barefoot today, she was wearing the basic black shoes of the Asylum, but I couldn't look away from her ankle. Buried under her white sock and marked in her own skin till the day she dies, there was a scar. A scar I just bluntly disbelieved it. A scar I took it as a lie. How many more does she have?

"How did you get them?" I asked suddenly. That made her look at me. "Your scars..."

She smirked. "Tables have turned, ain't it?"

"Huh?"

"I'm not here to listen to your lies, Miss Kim." She mocked with a serious pitch voice. I looked away. Her old-lady laughter filled the room and that made me blush.

"I..."

She grinned, finally raising up from the floor. "But this… this is story for another day, Doc! Might be when the Circus comes back in town with that milliner making up for a living." I frowned my brows.

"You need a hand?" She asked and I look at her. "For your _weak_ legs?" She added smirking and placed her hands in front of me.

"I'm fine." I said raising up on my own.

"Sure you are." She said still grinning. "Well, I think it's time to go." I couldn't help feeling sad for it. "So long, toots. And thanks for all the food."

"Huh, Taeyeon?" I called her. She turned to me still amused. "What's a milliner?" I asked, blushing, a bit embarrassed for not knowing what that word meant. Some Korean terms and words are still new to me.

She raised her shoulders. "I have no idea!"

I chuckled which quickly became giggles till finally going for laughter. A couple of minutes went by with both of us laughing together.

When I opened the door, and watched her go back to her cell escorted by Lee Sungmin and Baekhyun I replied, though rather as a whisper. "See ya." My heart beating like crazy once again.

"So how did it go your last session with her?" Yoona asked friendly upon meeting me at the refectory.

"Pretty well." I confirmed, drinking some water. Though I still had some questions and worries in mind, Taeyeon being back to her usual self was very reinvigorating for me. It's amazing how much she affects me doing so little. If she calls me 'toots' then it is enough to make me blush; her old-lady laughs makes my heart flutters; her silly jokes bring me joy… _Ah, Tiffany, what happened to you?_ How did you let her get inside your head like this? "She was a bit embarrassed by what happened last week, so it was a bit hard to get something from her, but… at the end she chilled and everything was alright."

"It's good to hear." I smiled at that.

"Doctor Hwang!" Officer Baekhyun called me suddenly, upon reaching our table.

"Yes..." His face was red and his breath seemed raggedy, which just told me he had been running.

"I'm sorry…" He panted. "Can... you come with me... please?"

I frowned, looking at Yoona and her expression was of confusion either. "Is everything alright, Officer?"

"Please, follow me." He said again, bowing his head to me.

I nodded, feeling apprehensive. "See you later, Tiffany." Yoona said after I got up. I followed Baekhyun with my heart beating faster than usual.

"What's wrong, officer?"

"I don't really know. Just following orders." Oh, shit. Following orders? From who? Ho Sung? Did Ho Sung decide to fire me? _Today?_ God, no. I can't be fired!

My heart beat even faster when we left the Medical Center. Wait. Why we were going to the yard? No one was there, it was 8:00 am, the recreation would start only at 10:00!

And every step that I took start to be heavy as soon as we got inside the Penitentiary.

"Officer, where are we going?" I asked suspiciously. There was something in the back of my head buzzing, telling me that something is completely wrong. He didn't answer, the back of his shirt, as well as underneath his arms, had stains of sweat and somehow I felt like those were not only from his running.

The tips of my fingers got numb when we walked past the units and reached the Intensive Care. I felt a lump on my throat. There was only one reason why he would lead me to Intensive Care…

"Doctor..." I heard Lee Sungmin call when we finally approached Taeyeon's jail cell.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my heart beating in my ears.

"I don't know… It's Kim… She… she doesn't wake up."

* * *

 _She doesn't wake up_ _… she doesn't_ _wake up…._

That made my heart skip a beat. It made my brain stop working properly. It made my whole body shook. No. That's impossible! I gulped, closing my eyes and praying for it to be another joke from her, it has to be! My nails embedded my palm and feeling my heart beating nervously I finally stepped inside her cell.

The first thing I quickly noticed was the walls and that made my heart drop to the ground, my mouth ajar, covered by my right hand in shock. There were no drawings. The drawings I saw before – the little dog as well as the girl sitting on a tree – were gone and what greeted me instead was a very raspy handwriting, written on all over her cell _Cut him, break him,_ _Kill him!_ A silent tear quickly roamed out as I noticed her Rubik's cube completely crushed, as if it was thrown against the wall, and its pieces scattered all over the floor.

Did she have an episode?

"We don't know what happened, Doctor. We… We tried to wake her up… but she doesn't." Sungmin's voice called me back. He was a bit anxious, that I could tell. "She… she doesn't… move."

My eyes snapped wide open.

"What?"

"She doesn't move." She shook his head once again, gulping hard. "I swear I didn't do anything, Doctor! It's not my fault! It is not! I-"

I ignored him and look straight to her who was laying down on her stomach on bed. I felt my mouth gets dry and my legs turn into stone. God, what was going on? Please, no. No! She needs to be okay. She needs to!

"T-Tae….yeon..." I called, my voice just fainting away as I got closer to her bed. My heart was beating in my ears and God, I've never felt so worried in my entire life! I took her wrist and placed two fingers, pressing them down, to measure her pulse. My eyes enlarged. No pulse. There was no pulse! What the fuck?

"Is she… dead?" I heard Baekhyun ask. I couldn't answer. The tears falling from my eyes however made them think this way. "D-doctor H-hwang? I-is Kim d-dead?" I stepped back, feeling ill. She wasn't breathing. She wasn't…

Before I could tell anything else, everything around me was a blur. "Doctor Hwang?" Feeling dizzy, I closed my eyes and I was nowhere near to be aware of what was going on. _Wake up. Please, wake up. Don't do this to me. Don't. Don't leave me._

And then I blacked out.

When I finally opened my eyes, I was greeted by Seohyun's gentle smile. "There you are… Welcome back, unnie!"

I blinked still feeling uneasy. "Are you alright?" I heard her asking. I frowned, trying to remember what actually have happened… My eyes opened widened open… "T-Taeyeon!"

Seohyun chuckled. "This is the first time I see a doctor worried more about their own patients other than themselves."

"How is she?" I asked utterly concerned. My heart beating nervously, anxious for the upcoming news and I knew Seohyun's was aware of that due to the heart monitor just beside me.

"She is alright." I closed my eyes taking a deep breath completely relieved. "She's back."

Thank God! "What happened?" I asked.

"You passed out."

"No, what happened to her?"

"Oh, we've done some blood as well as brain examinations to fully know what happened but we don't have the results yet, however, her general symptoms seems to be of some sort of overdose." My hands curled, grabbing the white sheet under my fingers.

"Her medication." I quickly replied. "It was her medication! Ho Sung increased her dosage..."

"Yeah, I saw her files, now she's taking four pills... and considering XYZ is a powerful sedative, it seems to finally take its toll on her. I think it's for the best if we halt the medication for a while." I nodded, agreeing with her.

"Thank you, Seohyun."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"I don't know… knowing this place, I kinda thought everyone wanted her dead." She giggled.

"I'm just a doctor, Unnie. I have no hard feelings towards your patient. Besides, if an inmate dies while I'm in my shift, that's a terrible stain for my records." I smiled. She took a milky way chocolate bar from her white coat's pocket and offered to me. "Here, eat this. You'll feel better."

"Can I see her?" I asked gladly accepting the candy bar.

"You should rest first. She's alright and she'll be monitored for the next couple days so don't worry, she's not in danger."

"I'm alright."

"Your heart rate says otherwise." She quickly answered looking at the machine beside my bed and I looked away trying to ignore it. "Give yourself a rest, unnie, and then you're free to see her. So far try relaxing, she won't go anywhere."

"Thanks, Seohyun." She smiled to me.

"You're welcome, unnie."

"I'm so relieved she's alive. I really thought she was dead." I said feeling a lump in my throat.

"She's scared everyone out here to be honest. Inmates, officers and doctors keep coming asking if she's really dead."

"Really?"

"Hm." She nodded. "Kim Taeyeon is famous around here, she's been here for so long it's hard to find someone who doesn't know who she is."

" _Kim Taeyeon rules this fucking place, Doctor Hwang. She's a dangerous inmate, everyone knows who she is. And she's good friends with Leeteuk and Donghae."_

" _Kim Taeyeon doesn't have friends, Miss Choi."_

" _That's what she wants you to think, Doctor. She has friends, admirers, lovers."_

I remembered Choi Sooyoung saying that to me once upon a time. Sooyoung shared a jail cell before with Kim Taeyeon and she must be kinda close to her, I mean, Sooyoung could understand Taeyeon's feelings and even behavior – and that was something! Considering how Taeyeon lies to doctors, I actually wonder if she tells the truth to her fellow inmates. In prison environment is very common to inmates to stand up for each other and even defend themselves from superiors for their genuine feeling of camaraderie, and honestly, it seems to be the only way they have to actually tolerate places like this.

So if that was true, were those people who came asking if she's alive her friends? Or was just people curious to know if the infamous Kim Taeyeon have finally perished in this dirty place? That I couldn't tell.

"Is it okay if I leave?" Seohyun asked gently after a couple of seconds. "I need to check other patients."

"Yeah, sure. See you later."

"See you, unnie. Get well soon."

Get well soon… How I wished this could be towards Taeyeon. She could have died! I knew that her dosage was too much... Four fucking pills! Thank God she was alive. Just to picture Taeyeon dead was heart wrecking for me.

My eyes glanced at the chocolate bar in my hands. Should I give this to her? She loves candy. Maybe I could give her when she wakes up. I looked around the room and I noticed there was a black camera in the upper right corner of the room. So the hospital rooms had camera surveillance… I looked back to the candy and taking a deep breath, I decided to unwrap and eat it myself.

I leaned my body forward, placing my forehead against the door of her room. Room 09. I was nervous, anxious, scared. There was so much going on my head. Was she awoke now? Was she still sleeping? Taking a deep breath, I first knocked and then I entered the medical room.

I stopped all my moves upon seeing Kwon Yuri there. What the hell? Kwon Yuri, the officer who never leaves the Archive is in Kim Taeyeon's room? What the flying fuck? What she was doing there? I squinted not following what she could be doing in that place. "Officer?" I called her, she completely ignored me. I noticed her eyes staring at Kim Taeyeon intensely. Taeyeon was unconscious and I was grateful for that. "What are you doing here?" I asked getting closer to Taeyeon's bed.

She moved her eyes from Taeyeon to me, but still stood silent.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again.

"Special occasion."

I frowned my brows. "Special occasion?"

"Yes…" She nodded her head, looking back to Taeyeon and I noticed her clenching her teeth. "You won't understand."

"Oh really? Why don't you try me?"

"It's not worth it." She answered, taking a deep breath.

"So why don't you leave?" I said a bit harsh for my own taste.

"I want to see if she dies in front of me." That made me extremely angry.

I clenched my teeth and fists and with hard expression I got closer to her, looking as angry as ever. "Get out of here." I said firmly.

She scoffed, making me even angrier. "She's got what she always wanted… a doctor who she could manipulate as she pleased, a doctor to get her out of here. You are the perfect option, easy to approach, friendly personality… and all she just needs to do is to make you laugh at her stupid jokes and pretend she's a poor unfortunate soul in need for support and caring. All she needs to do is to behave like a kid so you'll feel compassionate about her because of your former patients." My nails started to mark my palms so fiercely, it wouldn't take long to start oozing blood from them.

"My duty is to take care of her, give her support and proper care." I looked at her eyes. "Taeyeon is my patient; she may be an inmate but she still my patient! She is still a human being and she needs help. I don't care for what you say, I won't stop being who I am to just please all of your sadistic needs around here. I won't be like Doctor Young! She won't be tortured any more."

"You think that was torture? Why don't you go after her victims to talk about torture, Doctor? Oh, wait, they're dead." I gulped, feeling uncomfortable with that. "Don't trust her, Doctor Hwang. Whatever she says to you, it is a lie!"

"And how do you know that?"

"I just know. Everybody knows. She's a liar."

"Stop pretending you know a thing about her, you don't."

"Yes, I do." She nodded firmly. "I've been here long enough to see how she does her game. She is charming, cute, dorky, it can't never cross your mind that this little woman can be so cold and cruel. But she is, Doctor. There's a reason she's under Intensive Care. There's a reason she never left this place. There's a reason the Asylum will never let her go."

"You know why she's cold and cruel?" I asked scoffing. "You give her no other choice! She's constantly bullied here by all the other officers… Her previous doctors barely had her on the right track.. just torturing her, giving her electric shocks in order to make her behave how they wanted her to behave."

"Many patients showed progress when receiving this sort of treatment."

"You call it a progress?" I snorted.

"Yes. If they were rioting and then stopped, we can call it a progress."

"It's torture and you know it." I said firmly. "And that is not the way I do it, Officer. Taeyeon will receive a proper treatment! No more hurting, no more torturing, no more humiliation."

"Give it up, Doctor. It's useless. Being nice to her will only make you lose your way."

"A proper treatment is never useless."

"You're crossing a line here, Doctor, that will forever haunt your soul."

"No, it won't. She _will_ receive a proper treatment. I'm her Doctor and I guarantee you, Yuri, she will get the hell out of here no matter how many years I have to stay here to make it happen!" She squinted her eyes. I got even closer to her facing her firmly and angrily. "I _will_ help Taeyeon and nobody in all of Seoul, no doctor or officer that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down!"

For a brief moment silence clouded over the room - both me and Yuri staring at each other, breathing deeply, and our eyes fiery. But just for a brief moment, because suddenly, a hoarse voice echoed in the room. "Now, that's what I call confidence!" My heart beat completely out of pace and both Yuri and I turned our heads towards Taeyeon. She was sat on the bed, smiling. "Hello..." And her eyes moved towards Yuri. _"_ Kwon Yuri _… my old friend..."_

I blinked a bit taken back for what she just said. My eyes quickly moved to Yuri as well and I saw her clenching her teeth.

"Friend?" I asked intrigued.

"She's not my friend!" Yuri quickly denied.

"Ow, C'mon, don't you remember the old days? Golden days!" Taeyeon's voice was still hoarse but I could notice the tune change. "Because I do, Yuri! There you were, around my section, proud of yourself for being a Correctional Officer in this place, just doing everything you could to show some service. Back then you were the only female officer in this shithole other than Eugene and everyone was talking about you. You were young and the freshness in your face was endearing... you had a hard time dealing with those horny officers, didn't you?" Yuri gnawed her teeth hard. "Especially because you never told them you're… how do people call them these days? Aah yeah, _gay."_

My eyes opened a tad wider. Gay? Yuri was… gay? She looked completely uncomfortable with that. I noticed her eyes lost all the fire they once had before and I could tell this was a big thing for her. She was close to just start crying. "You were different back then, Yuri." Taeyeon kept saying. "You were trustworthy, kind and protective. Remember that day when Officer Yunho was beating the shit out of me? Did you run? No! What did you do? You made him stop! What happened to you, Yuri? Where's that kind officer who liked talking to me?"

I couldn't say a word. I was totally in shock for everything she was saying. I didn't know Yuri used to be a regular Correctional Officer other than the Archive personnel. I didn't know she used to have a shift exactly around Taeyeon's section. I had no idea that Taeyeon and Yuri could have exchanged some words in the past. But the more Taeyeon was saying, the more started to make sense to me. "And the old Kwon Yuri I knew of didn't want to be just a regular Correctional Officer, no! She wanted to be the Warden! But where are you now, Yuri? Inside that stinky basement doing nothing the whole day just reading old papers and listening to tapes! Miss my voice that much?" She mocked and all the hate I was feeling for Yuri quickly disappeared. A tear ran down over her right cheek. "You lost the chance you had to be the Warden when the old man SM gave the position to Ho Sung.. It was a bad day, wasn't it?"

My little finger twitched. "A very bad day for sure." She continued. "It ain't easy lose the position you always wanted for that coward prick. I was rooting for you, Yuri, I really was. You know the saying, bros before _hoes._ But I guess Ho Sung must be a really good hoe." She tried making a pun, and if the environment was slightly different I would probably chuckle along but at that time, all I was feeling was sadness and compassion.

She wiped her tears and left out a sad chuckle. "I thought you were dead."

"What's the fun in that?"

"Kim Taeyeon, death by overdose, eh? Quite a commotion you're making, Inmate." My brows frowned themselves.

"Overdose? Well, that's lame." They kinda sound...hm… close? Were they really friends in the past? What happened between them? Yuri's words before about Taeyeon were harsh but now they seem like… I don't know… like a married couple who could only squarrel but once in a while show mutual feelings of respect and affection to each other. It really bugged me.

"You're alive..."

"And you're glad, aren't you?" She mocked. Yuri didn't answer but I had the feeling that was a confirmation. Was that a love-hate relationship? I mean Yuri was here for all this time and if it is true that she used to talk to Taeyeon, that means they were kinda close. But now they aren't anymore. Now, Yuri hates Taeyeon, always trying to show me how cruel and evil she is… And Taeyeon is always making sure Yuri doesn't know a thing from her interviews. If they were closed, what changed them? What made them hate each other? What made Yuri stop being a kind officer to be so ruthless? What made her hate Taeyeon so much?

"Oh please, shut up!"

"You miss my voice and still ask me to shut up? Are you bipolar?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Go back to your basement, _Officer."_ That made Yuri gnaw her teeth again.

"I'm your superior here, Inmate! Don't give me orders."

"Try better than that, _Warden Yuri."_ And then I saw Yuri's eyes grew wider. I saw them twinkle and stand proud. Her expression was totally different from when she was called an officer to be called Warden. Even though Taeyeon was just teasing her, it still made Yuri enjoy the word as if it really belonged to her. And I wasn't the only one to notice it. "Hohoho, so easy to tease you, Yuri. Tell me, you get wet down there when I call you Warden _?"_ I felt shivers down my spine. I had no idea how Yuri felt but that was the first time I ever heard her saying things like that. I mean she had said sexual innuendos before but not that straightforwardly. "Do I need to put my husky voice for the sake of it… _Warden?"_

Oh, God. That voice.

Just to think she could speak to me like that, whispering to my ear…

Oh, God, help me.

I was turned on as fuck.

But I did my best to not let them see how her husky voice had affected me so much doing so little.

Yuri was visually uncomfortable. Her chest going up and down in a fast pace. "Different times today, eh? You have a bunch of female officers to flirt with now. To release whenever you need to...Who's your favorite? Officer Kim? Officer Joy? Officer Seulgi?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Or are you into raw and dangerous affairs? Fancy hot kinky stuff, _Warden Yuri?_ Have hot fantasies with inmates? The _one_ you despise the most?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Why? I bet you're soaked just imagining my voice into your ear..." Oh, God, please make her stop. Please. "Whispering…calling you… _Warden."_ _Shit._ She giggled. "Wet already, _Warden Yuri_?" Yes, yes I am.

Yuri quickly left the room, slamming the door behind. I clenched my fists and wasting no time, I followed her.

"Yuri, wait!" I called her before she could reach the lift at the end of the corridor.

"What?" She turned to me angrily. I cold notice trails of tears.

"Huh...I..."

"If you don't have nothing to say, excuse me, Doctor! I need to go back to my _basement."_ I heard the bitterness in her voice.

"I..."

"Have a good day, Doctor Hwang."

I had many things to say to be honest but they didn't seem to come out of my mouth. I was really touched by what happened, Yuri cried despite her toughness. She was tough, not as much as Taeyeon but she was tough, and you gotta be tough when working in this place for as a Correctional Officer for so long, and when you cry, that means a lot. There were many things I still needed to know from that place but to know Yuri used to be kind and protective before was a great surprise. She was bitter about Ho Sung being the Warden and perhaps that's why she stopped being kind and protective. Or maybe she was still in pursue of the position and to please Ho Sung she tries her best to show service and in order to do that she needs to keep up with the general behavior of this place. I don't really know but one thing I knew of… Yuri wasn't just a scumbag officer.

"D-don't you want to talk?" I asked worriedly.

"Go fuck yourself, Doctor Hwang!"

She turned on her heels and went her way back to the Archive, I exhaled, deciding to leave her alone for a while and getting back to Taeyeon's room. I was there to give her a visit after all. And now that she was awake I could speak with her properly, trying to understand what really happened.

"Cheers, Toots!" I heard Taeyeon calling me when I walked in and I turned my head towards her, she had her fist clenched upfront waiting for me to bump it with my own. My brows frowned themselves. "Thanks for defending me."

"Is she really your friend?" I asked, my voice sounding rather angrily.

"No."

"You seemed to be." I said blinking. "You know a lot about her."

"Rumors and news spread fast around here, Doc."

"Rumors are lies." I said firmly.

"Are they? Rumor has it that you will get Irene out of here, is that a lie, Doctor Hwang?" She asked looking at me, I gulped. I hated when she could retort like that. It seemed like she was always ahead of me.

"No." I stood tall.

"Good. because I'm really sure Irene would be upset if she finds out that you might be lying to her."

I got quiet. "How do you know she's gay?" I asked changing the subject.

"It's not hard to tell." Really? I couldn't. Never crossed my mind that Yuri was homosexual. Taeyeon smiled, finding it amusing.

"That's a big thing for her." I said, my eyes now looking at the floor. "I don't think she's ever told anyone."

"It's a big thing for everyone. Most Koreans find homosexuality a foreign thing...A foreign _disease_."

"You think this way?" I asked curiously.

She chuckled. "No." I got happy with that. "I see it all the time."

"You do?"

"I always did. But governments tries like hell to legislate the morality of their citizens, because if there's one thing that spells doom for any society, it's consenting adults having sex with each other in the privacy of their own bedrooms."

I chuckled. She's back. "You scared the hell out of me." I said softly. "I really thought you're dead."

"Only the good die young." She grinned pretentiously.

I twisted my lips. There she was, telling me that she is actually _not_ a good person again. So why do I feel like she is? Why do I keep believing she's not evil?

"I'm glad you are alive." I said, getting closer, feeling an urge to touch her face, to caress her cheeks. But I stopped myself before it was too late.

"Of course you are." She smirked.

"I...?" I cleared my throat. She blinked. Her eyes lighten up a little and she stared into my eyes as if it was reaching my soul. "I... saw your cell... the writing on your walls-

"It's alright, Doc." She quickly replied. I was not convinced.

"I'm worried."

"You worry too much..."

I sighed knowing that she was uncomfortable. She doesn't like showing her weakness to others, she doesn't like to talk about her issues out of fear of judgment, humiliation and mockery. She cared for her reputation around here, probably it's the only thing she has that she could say she is proud of.

"Taeyeon... whatever happened to you... I know it still haunts you to this very day." I started trying to be thoughtful. "I know it is a big thing for you... And I want you to understand that I'm here. You can talk to me, I'll always be there for you." I saw her eyes twinkle. "I know it is hard to tell hurtful events of your life to a complete stranger... but trust me... you won't be judged, you won't be mocked."

"I'm alright, Doctor." She replied, nodding her head.

"You could have died... Your medication -

"I'm fine." She dismissed, smiling. "I feel a bit tired now, but I'm fine. I will be fine. Don't stress out, Doctor Hwang..."

My heart squeezed itself upon hearing that. Ever since I found out that Dr. Young used to force her to call him Doctor Young, I feel bad when she calls me Doctor Hwang. I'd take her calling me Feisty Fanny any day.

"I..."

"You said you'd get me out of here... _"_ Her voice voice made me get closer to her. " _I can't die this soon, can I?"_

I didn't answer, her husky voice pushing me over the edge again.

" _Doc_?" My hands held the arms of her bed tight. My fingers never wanted to touch someone so badly. _"Doctor Hwang?"_

"Don't call me that."

" _It's your fucking name."_ My heart raced faster. To hear her saying that word, with that voice… it was pure excitement. How she could do that? Did she know she had the such power in her voice? Did she know she could make people _feel those things?_

"Stephanie Hwang, Feisty Fanny, Doctor Hwang, Doc... You have so many names, _Tiffany..."_ Oh, God, the way she said Tiffany... "I could as well pretend you're all different doctors."

"Don't call me Doctor Hwang."

"And how you'd like me to call you _…_ _Tiffany_ _?"_ I felt my core start tingle.

"Doctor is fine." I answered after a couple of seconds. Especially if she calls me with that voice. "Just don't call me Hwang."

"Okay, _Doctor."_

I needed to get out there. I was this close to lose it and kiss her right there. And doing that in room with camera surveillance is not the best idea. "I… I need to go…."

"Doing Irene?"

"What?" My voice came harsh. "I'm not doing anyone! What the fuck you -

" _Doctor?"_ She smiled, amused. "Have you ever noticed that when you're nervous you always tend to think everything as double entendres?" I gulped, my pupils dilated completely. "Now, why is that? Why you're always taking everything so… _sexual?"_ Okay, that was too much. I needed to get out of there soon! She smirked. " _I think you need a Doc… Doc."_

"See you around, Taeyeon." I quickly said trying to ignore what she said. Her name never sounded so charming. It was a beautiful name. It means calm and serene in Korean and despite everything, I really think it suits her well.

"So long, _Doctor."_

I left the room without looking behind. I was going insane. I was _falling_ insanely hard for my favorite patient. I couldn't lie anymore. My whole career was in risk because I did what no doctor is supposed to do. Fall for their patients.

If it was only an intimate friendship, it's still alright… but it wasn't. It wasn't just a weird curiosity leading to affection, that was long gone. Now it is something bigger, something _deeper._ Electric sparks jolts down my body when I think of her in a more intimate way. The way she was speaking today… rough and husky… it was enough to make desire crawls every bit of my skin.

I was not in condition to stay there and even though I had Irene today, I decided to cancel it, go home and take a rest. I needed to control my feelings. I needed to stop feel this way about Taeyeon.

I couldn't.

Sleeping was never so hard to accomplish as my body tingled, remembering her husky lustful voice. I exhaled, feeling frustrated and tired. Grabbing my Iphone, I tried looking for movies to watch online to distract from my feelings. Maybe a comedy will do good.

Everything went wrong when I saw an ad for a random porn website. My breathing got heavier and gulping hard, ever embarrassed by what I was doing, I pressed my finger on it. Thousands of videos, banners and gifs quickly showed up and disgusted by the unusual enormous penises being deep throated, my trembling fingers typed in the search bar '2 girls'.

The first video was the infamous 2 girls 1 cup which I totally ignored. There were many videos and pages and I didn't know which one to watch. But my eyes got wider when I saw a girl wearing a white coat on one of the thumbnails. The title of the video was "The Doctor and The Patient."

 _Turn it off._ I heard my own voice in my head. _You can't watch this. It's unethical! Stop it!_

My thumb ignored my brain and clicked on the video, my heart beating so fast and loud in anticipation. The video was buffering and my body was all alert, my clit aching and I couldn't control it.

The video began and the patient was a short, dark haired girl. It was easy to see Taeyeon there. When the Doctor entered, my toes curled. And they curled hard when the doctor started to apply pressure on the patient's thighs as en excuse for a spot that could be in pain. My nipples are so hard that I can feel them pressing through my bra. My hips suddenly tried to rock when the doctor let her little finger move over the patient's groin.

My body was craving for her. For Taeyeon. For Taeyeon's voice and touch.

I needed to release or I would going insane.

Not being able to hold it anymore, I slipped it down below the sheets and nestled two pillows between my legs. I folded my pillow in half and put it between my legs, lay on my tummy and began to gently hump the pillow as I got more and more turned on. The moans in the video were extremely over the top, so I decided to lower the volume down a little. As the doctor and patient started to undress themselves, I was getting wetter and wetter. I felt my pillow pressed firmly against my breasts and I wondered how it might feel to touch hers. How it might feel if I could really hump her soft sexy thigh, pressing myself against her naked body and rubbing myself up against her. In need of direct touch, I took my shorts and panties off.

I kept jigging myself against the pillow and thinking about Taeyeon's beautiful, young, sexy body and her sexy rough voice. I was losing control and began to dry-hump my pillow more and more vigorously, moaning with pleasure and whispering Taeyeon's name. It just felt so great. I was a bit worried in case I might stain the pillow or something if I got too carried away, but the thought of being able to hump Taeyeon's naked body was too much for me to be able to control myself. The moans on the video started to arouse me at some point as the patient started to tease her doctor. Finally, I take my bra off completely and my breasts are free from their cages. And as I grind harder against my pillow, they swing back and forth and graze the mattress, turning me on even more. I squeeze my thighs against the pillow and my clit sings its approval. Oh, God. I moaned her name as I yearned for it. I jigged myself against my pillow more and more energetically. My body was hot and sweaty and my whole groin area ached with pleasure as I grinded and rubbed against the pillow. I felt really dirty because at the back of my mind I knew exactly what I was doing and what other people would think if they caught me doing it. I was a dumpy, naked, having a frenzied hump of her pillows, pretending they were another girl – my favorite patient- I was lusting after. It was so low, so dirty, so naughty... But whilst I was disgusted with myself, I was also strangely turned on by it. It was repelling me and turning me on at the same time! I rubbed and humped and jigged frantically against the pillow, keen to get the maximum possible pleasure from its soft warmness. I had gone so far with this that I could not possibly stop. I threw my head back, gasped Taeyeon's name out with a loud sigh of pure pleasure. " _Oh Doc."_ I heard the patient in the video moan approvingly." _You're soaked."_ I moaned again. " _You want me to dry you up?"_ And my body shivered from head to toe when the girl bent down on her knees and started _licking_ the doctor's pussy off. This was too much. This was… Oh, God. My mind quickly imagined Taeyeon doing that on me. I couldn't hold it any longer. Mmmm...That was so good! I kept humping faster and faster and screaming as I sensed it closing fast. That's it, I was coming, I was coming… and I came, so hard that I lost my cadence, moving anarchically. I released a long, long scream that even the pillow couldn't absorb. Powerful spasms shocked my entire body, to the point that I had a hard time keeping my grasp on the mattress. Oh yeah, that felt good. Oh yeah… It wasn't over yet. I kept going, begging for more. I had regained my control, so I could start building the next orgasm in line. My pussy was still feeling very high, even though it was just as worn out as I was. But I had to keep going, I couldn't let the last few moments go to waste. I knew I could get multiple orgasms with just a little more effort. My lower back was aching, but I didn't care either. All I cared about was pleasure as I kept grinding and groaning, then moaning loudly, breathing deeply, then rapidly, moving faster, pressing harder. The second orgasm took less than two minutes to build up and it was even stronger than the first, so powerful that it made me pull out the sheets. Oh, God. Fuck. That was awesome. That was fucking awesome. My heart was racing with the thrill of what I had done. I snuggled in and cuddled my pillow girlfriend, kissing gently as I slowly drifted off to sleep. ~~*~~ I woke up completely relaxed. It took me a while to realize the compromising nature of my situation. I moved the pillows away from my crutch and began to re-arranged both pillows in their proper position. It was then I noticed my pillow was a little damp and with no more decency in me – or so I thought – I sniffed, trying feeling the smell of my own juices. Despite the fact that I was worried about whether it might stain the pillow forever or might smell too strongly and give the game away, I was really really glad. Yes, I was glad. I finally released myself, letting go all that sexual frustration I was having. I was glad because I came by myself, feeling the most amazing orgasm I ever had ever since my break up with Nichkhun. I was glad because I had an orgasm and I didn't touch myself. My fingers kept away from my spot all times. I mean, pillow humping is masturbation after all but for me it was different. The idea of putting my fingers _down there_ was the ultimate indecency act. The pillow was… I don't know… It kinda felt _cleaner_ _than fingers._ So, yes, I was glad that I did it without using my fingers. I got up and went to shower to finally get myself dressed and go to work. ~~*~~ "Yuri?" I called for her at the moment I arrived at the Archive but I couldn't find her. "Officer Yuri?" "What do you want, Doctor?" I heard her say behind me. I turned around and realized she had got out from the restroom. I didn't know if she was there for her physiological needs or because she was still crying. "I just wanna talk to you… Are you alright?" I asked worriedly. "Go away, Doctor Hwang." "Yuri..." "GO AWAY!" She yelled, using her authority. "I think it will do you good to talk about it - "I don't need your pity, Doctor. Get the hell out of here and go mocking me and laugh at me for who I am with your precious little inmate-" "I would never do that." I shook my head. "It's not wrong, Yuri. It's not wrong to be gay. It's not a disease." "Are you gay as well?" She asked abruptly. "No!" I quickly denied. But what I did last night wasn't entirely heterosexual either… so, what's the matter with me? Am I bisexual or something? She scoffed. "You, Doctor Hwang, have no idea how it feels like. It's easy for you, you're American. Americans accept everything, every dirty little thing." I started to get offended. "That's not true!" "You don't know Korean society. You don't know how hard they take on us. We don't talk about _it_ , we pretend it doesn't exist." "You and your sick standards..." I said a bit angry, not at herself entirely, but how everything was dealt here. "South Korea is the country with the highest rate of suicide in the world, knows why, Officer?" She didn't answer. "Because you're always pretending it doesn't exist. You pretend depression doesn't exist, you pretend homosexuality doesn't exist, you pretend the beauty standard here isn't a problem… you're always pretending things don't exist in hope that those problems could be gone away. They won't." "Thousands of Koreans kills themselves every year because the society _pretend_ they _don't exist._ They are alone, don't have support of anyone, not in life, not in death." I saw her twist her lips. "And I'm here, Yuri, telling you that you're _not alone._ I can give you support. Every doctor here can. Me, Yoona, Seohyun, whenever you're feeling bad, talk to us. We aren't here only for the residents but for you officers as well." "We ain't the crazy ones, Doctor Hwang." I noticed her voice had calmed down. I guess she was internally grateful for what I was saying. "I'm not saying you are… I'm just saying psychological guidance is important. For many things, relieving stress and struggles… and if you're feeling like you need help, talk to me. You won't be judged. You won't be mocked. You won't be humiliated." I reassured. "I give you my word." "No torture?" She asked raising up her brows, I smiled. "I never do tortures, Officer. America stopped doing that a long time ago." She nodded. "Thank you, Doctor Hwang." I gave her a positive nod. "Have you given it up?" She frowned her brows, not following. "Being the Warden?"

Yuri scoffed. "Ho Sung will stay in the position for years and after that he'll probably give it to his nephew Do Kyungsoo. It is how it is, Doctor. It's business after all and a family business seems to be the fate of this place. I will never be the Warden." She shrugged her shoulders. "I lost my chance."

"No, you didn't!" I said firmly. "Yuri, are you kidding? You know everything in here! You're the perfect person to be the Warden, if you show..."

"There is no point, Doctor." She shoved it off. "Ho Sung is powerful, comes from a wealthy family. I've learned that if you have no power then you have nothing. You can't do much. You'll try and try and try but in the end, it all just comes for the powerful and rich."

"You can still be the Warden!" I said firmly. "Just show it to the right person."

"The right person is no longer in here, Doctor Hwang. Old man SM doesn't come here anymore."

"But her niece does." I saw her eyes twinkled. "Lee Soonkyu, isn't it? Yoona told me she often comes here, to look how things are going. She even talks to the residents! Show her you're better than Ho Sung! Show her you are the best option to be the Warden!"

I saw her smile and it made me happy. I had no hard feelings for Yuri anymore. She may not like Taeyeon, but she is not my enemy. We are supposed to be in the same side. And though she maybe a harsh officer, I honestly believe she will be a better Warden than Ho Sung. I liked her better than that man.

"Will you help me?" She asked, stepping forward. "Will you help me to become Warden?"

"One condition." I said raising my index finger. "No more torture with those residents. As a warden, you have to promise me you will ban those electrifying guns, you will make those officers stop humiliating the inmates and above all, you gotta promise me you will allow the residents to transfer for other penitentiaries."

"I can't let her go, Doctor Hwang." She replied. I didn't need her to name it to know who she was talking about. "I can't let her leave this place. This is where she belongs."

"No one belongs in a place like this, Yuri. She needs to pay for her crimes but _dying here?_ No. That's not right."

"She kills even though she's locked in here… she won't stop killing outside."

"Then she will be back and do her time again. This is justice, not locking her up over here forever."

She sighed and eventually gave in. "Okay, I promise." I smiled, proud of myself. I was still curious to know what happened between them, but I decided to talk about it in another day. And most importantly I would need to have Yuri's _and_ Taeyeon's sides of the story. It will take me a while to have them, especially Taeyeon's part, but in baby steps we would get there.

"Count me on, Warden Yuri." I said shaking her hand as an agreement.

"Don't get me used to be called that, Doc." She said jokingly. "Not yet." I eye-smiled. "Thank you, Doctor Hwang. And I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's alright."

And for the first time ever, I felt like everything was working perfectly fine.

Once again I found myself behind her door, leaning my head against it. I wasn't sure of myself to really enter her room and see her after what I've done last night. What if my desire is brought up again? What if she finds out that I did it? It's embarrassing as hell!

"You okay, Doc?" I heard Kim Hyoyeon's voice beside me. "Why are you not inside?"

"I..."

"Scared she might be dead?" She chuckled. I just nodded to not give my feelings away. "She isn't. She alive, brand new leaf!"

"What are you doing here, officer?" I asked curiously.

"Yuri asked me to check her out." I raised my head, looking at her.

" _Check her out?"_

"Yeah, you know...see how she is doing and stuff. Not checking her out like checking her ass out..." I blushed. Taeyeon's so right about me. I always tend to find common sentences as double entendres… "So I need you to step it away so I can come in." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, okay." I dumbly realized, stepping at my side. She opened the door and feeling like I'd be safer with Hyoyeon inside, I also entered the room.

Taeyeon was sleeping again or so it seemed. It didn't take long to the door be opened again and Seohyun come through it. She was holding a white case file, and her eyes got wider in surprise when she saw Hyoyeon and I inside.

"Oh, hello, Officer Kim." She bowed her head, Hyoyeon did the same. "Hello, Unnie." She bowed to me. I smiled at her.

"How is it going, Doctor?" Hyoyeon asked with a nod.

"All good." She answered. "Huh, Officer Kim? Could you please leave Doctor Hwang and I alone for a while?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll be just outside." She stood back and closed the door after leaving the room.

"How is she, Seohyun?" I asked turning my eyes towards her.

"She is alright. Sleepy for the most time… I mean, she was used to have sedatives and now that she is not taking any, her body feels even more tired. It sounds weird but it's actually very natural. Her body and mind are used to have two~three pills of her medication and suddenly she is not taking them anymore. It's a bit stresfull." I nodded. Yeah, that was true. When a person is used to have a standard medication for so long, the body and mind start to forget how it is to work _without_ those medicines and usually, it takes a while for our body to finally function properly as before. That's why addiction was a serious matter. "She wakes up for one hour or so once in a while but in general she spends her days sleeping. It will take her a couple of days to fully be active again."

"Can you tell for how long she will stay here?"

"Not so long. She's a tough one." She smiled gently. I smiled proud. Proud of Taeyeon. "Anyway, we got the results from her exams this morning." I noticed her tone changing to a serious one.

"Oh, really?"

"Hm." She nodded. "And… well… there's something weird."

I frowned my brows. "Something weird?"

"Well, four pills was too much and we can say it did affect her organism but that's not what is weird. The weird is that her sugar levels is a bit higher than usual." My heart missed a beat. "Especially because her diet isn't fully packed with sugar." I couldn't look at her. I had my eyes straight at Taeyeon, sleeping deeply. "I thought she had an overdose due to her medication but what happened was that her sugar levels spiked really high at the day of the incident and all the sugar in her blood clashed with the sedatives she was taking. The clash between the sugar and the sedatives gave a heart attack..."

I couldn't hold it. I couldn't. A tear silently ran down from my eyes. "Unnie?" She called me and I wanted to a hole show up in the floor beneath me and swallow me up. I was destroyed. I was embarrassed. I was devastated. What have I done? Taeyeon was my patient. My ultimate favorite one! And I...

"Unnie? I'm gonna ask you a question and I really want you to tell me the truth… Have you been giving sweets to Kim Taeyeon?"

* * *

I never felt so hurt in my entire life.

It was my fault.

Taeyeon could have died.

And it would be my fault.

I could have killed my favorite patient because I couldn't say no. Because I wanted her to like me. Because I wanted her to trust me. Yet what I did was put her life in danger.

"Unnie? I'm gonna ask you a question and I really want you to tell me the truth… Have you been giving sweets to Kim Taeyeon?"

A silent tear rolled down for my eyes.

"Unnie?"

I shook my head. "I… I haven't." What could I say? Yes? This would lead me to be fired. I can't be fired. I know I am doing wrong in denying the truth but I simply can't tell Seohyun that I gave Taeyeon candy!

"I guess inmates are smuggling in then somehow. I should inform the security about contraband." I nodded, despite feeling awful at myself.

I refuse myself to put Taeyeon's life in danger once again and as such any other food is out of question. I will not bring candy any more. I will not bring anything anymore. No more contraband. And that will hopefully make everything be alright once again.

"You alright, unnie?"

I closed my eyes. "I… I just...didn't expect that." Seohyun placed an arm over my shoulder.

"Don't dwell too much on worries. She's alright now." I twisted my lips. "It's not your fault, unnie." It is!

"I..."

"Yoona-unnie told me you've grown very fond of her..." I held my head down. "I understand you're worried. I recommend you to do some exams with her regularly to check her sugar levels up though." I nodded my head. "Especially when she's undertaking the medication."

"For how long will she be out of medication?"

"I will leave this to you. She's your patient after all."

"Thank you, Seohyun." She smiled gently.

"She's alright, unnie, so don't be down, okay?"

I tried to smile. It came rather fake looking. "Now, please excuse me, I'll notify the security the inmates are smuggling food in." I looked away, trying not to show I was the culprit.

It's alright now.

It's alright now.

I won't bring candy no more. I won't let Taeyeon have a heart attack no more. It's alright now. They won't know I was the one who gave her sweets. They won't know about my secret. Everything will be alright.

A sigh came from my lips and I approached the bed.

She was on her back but her head was towards the side, facing away from me and she seemed to be wearing the white common vest from the hospital. Her heart monitor beside her showed me her heart rate was indeed normalized.

I tentatively walked closer as quietly as I could, not wanting to wake her up. I stopped when I was standing beside her bed and looking down on her as her chest rose and fell, breathing in and out through her nose softly.

I brought my hand up, resting the back of my fingers against her cheek, and the contrast of her cold skin on my heated fingers was incredible. Taeyeon turned her head to my side, grunting something. I quickly took my fingers away from her face. And then slowly, she opened up her eyes.

"Hey..." I spoke softly, as her expressive eyes locked onto mine. Closing my eyes, I tried to forget that I had given her candy; I tried to forget that I had had sex with a pillow pretending it to be her. I was such an immoral doctor. I was a shameful doctor. She didn't reply, just yawned in my direction. "How you are feeling?" I asked, still ashamed of myself.

"Cold." She answered.

"Aircon is on, I'll turn it off. Okay?"

"No, it's alright." She merely waved it off before I could move myself. "Doc?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you crying?" I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

I bit my lip while I averted my eyes from hers. "I'm sorry." I sniffed.

"What are you sorry for?"

I gulped hard. "It's my fault. What happened to you… why it happened… it's my fault." I whispered. I was so ashamed, my voice couldn't go higher than that. I tried to say something to fill the silence but only managed croaking sounds as each word died in my mouth. "You could have died."

"But I didn't."

"You could have."

"But I didn't."

"You could have… and it would be my fault."

"Because I'm your responsibility?"

"No… Because I..." I sighed. "You're right about me." I said hanging my head in embarrassing and humiliation. "I'm not a good doctor." "I wanted to help you... yet all I did was to put your life in danger."

"My life's is always put in danger in here. It's not your fault." She said shaking her head. I don't know why she was trying to cheer me up. The only thing I knew though was that I was feeling miserable. If Taeyeon had died, I'd never ever forgive myself.

"I'm sorry… I won't be able to give your gummies no more."

"Did they found out?" I just nodded.

Her eyes opened a tad wider. "Are you gonna be fired?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm fine. I told you I would stay, didn't I?" She smiled making me feel a little bit better. "I'll stay." "The gummies though… they have to go."

"Well, that's a bummer."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Doc." She reassured. "I like you better than gummy worms." My fingers curled around the bars of her bed.

"I like you better than anything." I said it, not giving too much thought about it.

"Better than peanut butter and jelly?"

"Better than peanut butter and jelly." I confirmed, still whispering voices.

"Go home, Doc, you're drunk." I chuckled. And without me noticing, my thumb started caressing her hand. The simple touch warming me up, making me feel just alright. There was an area of tranquility surrounding me. I didn't know what that meant, but I know that it happens because I'm with her.

"I'm not drunk."

"Of course you are. No one sane enough would like me better than peanut butter and jelly."

"You like peanut butter and jelly?" I asked curiously. It's not common for koreans to actually like them.

"I've never eaten it."

"So if you don't know the taste, why do you say it's crazy to like you better than peanut butter and jelly?"

"Because peanut butter and jelly is your childhood food. And your childhood was awesome, then, that makes peanut butter and jelly taste awesome." I chuckled softly.

"Why do you say my childhood was awesome?"

"You're a doctor. That implies you're not fucked up." My heart beat faster.

"There are loads of doctors who are fucked up."

"You're not one of them." I felt my eyes clogging up some tears again. "You're a good person, Doc. You have a good heart. Don't... let the asylum break it." I gulped. "They broke Yuri. Don't let them break you either."

That perked up my curiosity. "What happened between you and Yuri?"

"Nothing happened."

"Then what happened to Yuri?" I asked frowning my brows.

"It's not me who answers this question." My eyes opened a tad wider in surprise for her reply. I kinda felt Taeyeon actually knows it. They seemed to be close before, but now they treat each other like enemies… something must have happened. And Taeyeon doesn't want to say.

The thing was that Taeyeon was actually being respectful towards Yuri. She could have told me but she didn't. She's there, reminding me that I shouldn't know personal information from someone else. I did this to Taeyeon herself, when I accused her for killing Dr. Young when she hadn't. I promised her I wouldn't take other peoples' words as true. I promised her I would talk to her before anything else.

And here I am, doing the same old thing with Yuri instead. It's not nice. It's not ethical. I am dirty and low enough already in just to pretend my pillow was actually that woman ahead of me. I shouldn't be that immoral. Taeyeon was being far more ethical than me. Funny thing. The infamous inmate is better than the doctor.

"You alright, Doc?"

"Yes… I'm alright." I dismissed her worries. "Are you still cold?"

"No." She answered closing her eyes and yawning again. "I'm just tired."

"Take a rest then." "I'll leave you for a while, ok?" She hummed an OK. I sighed, still caressing her hand with my thumb.

"I'm sorry, Taeyeon… I'm sorry… for what I've done." I said to myself, still feeling a miserable for my ignorance. "I promise I won't do the same mistake again." She didn't answer me and that just told she had fallen asleep once again. "I'm really sorry..." And then, feeling my heart beat faster than ever, I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. It was a daring move, but it actually made me feel better. I wasn't doing that out of sexual desire or anything, I was doing that out of a genuine feeling of sorrow and compassion as well as a reinforcement to her – and I myself – that we'll be alright. I did it in hope she could forgive for my mistake, in hope she won't suffer anything like that again. It was a short kiss but it turn out to have a lot of meaning.

I wiped my lone tear and left her room, not before adjusting the temperature of the aircon a few degrees higher in case she gets cold again.

"Hello, Irene." I greeted her when she walks in my office for our session. Our sessions actually happen on Tuesdays, but I had canceled the session of last Tuesday due to… _my sexual frustration..._ and I ended up postponing to today. I was hoping that a session with Irene would somehow calm me down. I liked her and it would do good to me to see her again.

Irene silently sat on the chair across of me. After feeling I was ready to start the session, I pressed the white button on the recorder machine and the tape did the twirl, starting to record that interview. " _ _Psychotherapist Stephanie Hwang, Interview #1__ _ _2__ _ _, Resident: Irene."__

"So, Irene… How have you been?" I asked trying to focus on that patient and not the one in the hospital room number 9 instead.

"Alright." She answered, her eyes looking down. I knew something was off.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She shrugged off her shoulders.

"You know you can trust me, don't you? Tell me what is wrong..."

"Fuck off, Doctor." She said harshly,

"What?" What the hell? Why was she so bitter? It's been a while since she was so offensive in our sessions. Actually after a couple of them, she started to be very respectful. And now, out of suddenly, she's back to be that rude again? I wasn't having a great day and as such that made me a bit angry. "Why the hell you're talking like this?"

"I always talked like this."

"With Dr. Young maybe, but not with me. I'm not here to hear you swearing me, Irene."

She scoffed. "No. You're here to fool me around. Like all the other doctors in here."

"What? What are you talking about it?"

"Nothing."

"Skip the bullshit! Tell me what the hell is bothering you!"

"How is Kim Taeyeon?" I heard her ask me coldly.

"Why is that important?"

"It must be for you, as she is your favorite."

"Is that why you're mad? Because she's my favorite patient?"

"Look how cute it is, the doctor and the psycho, together playing in the rain." Oh, no, not that again.

"Is that it? Because I stayed in the rain with her?"

"You should be ashamed, Doctor!" That made my anger gets bigger.

"You are not in position to say anything! Just shut the fuck up!"

"Why the fuck are you helping her?" I noticed her voice sound bitter.

"She's my patient as well. It's my job to help her."

"She killed my best friend!" I saw her let a lone tear out of her eyes. She gnawed her jaw. "She smashed her head on the wall! You know it feels like, Doctor?" I looked away, feeling sick. "You know how it feels like? To see your best friend's face so utterly destroyed it becomes almost unrecognizable?" I gulped, feeling nauseous. "You know how it feels like? To know your fucking doctor is now taking care of the same person that killed your friend? To know that your doctor is now having that person that killed your friend as a favorite patient? You know how it feels like?"

I felt my eyes burn. I shook my head. "No. I… I don't... know...how it...feels like." "I'm sorry, Irene."

"I thought..." I looked at her. "I thought... I was your favorite patient..." She left out a dry chuckle. "But it turned out be that mental cunt."

"Don't call her that!"

"Fuck off." She rose from the chair and left the room. I didn't stop her.

"Doctor Hwang?" The officer called me. "Has it finished already?"

"Yes, it has. Take her back to her cell." He bowed his head and pushed her forward, making her walk.

I knew we wouldn't get anything today. She was mad about Taeyeon and I being close. It will probably take her a while to actually trust me again, if she will ever trust me again.

I sighed and pressed the button on the recording machine again. " _ _Psychotherapist Stephanie Hwang, Interview #1__ _ _2__ __with__ _ _Irene__ _ _is finished__ _ _."__

"How is Kim Taeyeon?" I heard Yoona aske me suddenly. I was with her for a break in the cafeteria and after talking about random stuff, Taeyeon inhabited my thoughts on the other side of my brain,– making me not paying much attention to what Yoona was saying. Only when I heard Yoona mention Taeyeon's name, I came back to my senses. She seemed to realize that.

"Alright." I said, nodding my head. "Seohyun told me she'll be back to her cell in a couple days."

"I wish I could think this is a good thing." She said honestly and I lowered my eyes. "Out from a hospital room to back to her jail cell… I sometimes wonder which one is the worst."

Try knowing your patient headed to a hospital room because of you. That's the worst.

Try as I might, I could not get her out of my head. I couldn't get _that_ out of my head.

"You're alright? You seem down..."

"It's just that...everything was fine but then suddenly it becomes stark wrecking."

"What you mean?"

"Taeyeon was fine but then she suffers a minor heart attack. And now, she's kinda alright but Irene, my other patient, is now mad at me because she knows Taeyeon is my favorite patient and Taeyeon killed her friend..."

"The girl who…?"

"Yes. The girl who Taeyeon killed by smashing her head on the wall was Irene's best friend."

"Oh, God." Her hands covered her mouth.

"And she's angry at me because I'm taking care of Taeyeon. She said she thought she was my favorite patient but it turn out to be Kim Taeyeon..."

"Oh, Tiffany..."

"I don't know what to do, Yoona." I said feeling my heart ache. "I didn't want this to happen. Any of this." Yoona patted my hand. "It's too much going on."

"Why don't you have a couple days off?" She pondered.

"Why would I do that?" I asked not understanding how this could help.

"You are under a situation of much stress and sometimes it's like a time bomb… you know, one day it will explode. You're stressed about many things here and you're barely taking care of yourself. You haven't touch your food and most of the time all I see is you crying."

She was right though. I was eating very poorly lately, and that reflected me in my face, as I lost a couple of pounds. I also was very emotional since Taeyeon's breakdown. However I didn't want to leave her.

"You need some rest."

"I don't think it will help anything." I said thinking about it twice. "It won't stop Irene being angry at me. It won't stop Taeyeon -

"Stop thinking about Kim Taeyeon, Tiffany." She interrupted me, her voice was low but firm nonetheless. "I understand she's your favorite, but that… that _affection_ you have for her… that's not..."

"Not what?" I asked frowning my brows.

" _Not right. Not normal. Not ethical. Not healthy._ This patient of yours is getting in your head to an extend that it seems like everything you do here is because of her." I gulped feeling hurt from how she was speaking. I felt like I was being scolded by a teacher. "Is she the only reason you're here?"

"No." I answered.

"You're a doctor! You have other patients to take care of! Don't neglect them over Kim Taeyeon."

"I don't..."

"You barely seem to care she killed one your patient's best friends! Couldn't put yourself in her shoes? How she might be feeling knowing that you like that inmate better than her when she never done anything wrong in here? How she tried to please you but then you're pleased with somebody else that never really treat others right?" I clenched my teeth and fists. "I tell you to have days off because that will help you. It will help you not worrying so much about little things. It will help you get a little bit of air out of this place, far from the people here. Far from that… inmate."

I refuse myself. I refuse to leave Taeyeon in that condition. What if something goes wrong again? Heck, no! "I won't be far from Taeyeon when she just had a heart attack."

"It's just for a couple of days, Tiffany. Besides, Seohyun told you she was alright, didn't she?"

"If Jung Jessica suffered a heat attack, would you do that?" I asked remembering she said Jung Jessica was her favorite patient. "Would you leave her when she almost died?"

"Tiffany..."

"She's opened up quite a lot recently to me. And she has showed me more of her actual personality… Being far from her would only take that back. What good does it make? None!"

"Tiffany..."

"You don't understand, none of you do. All this time Taeyeon has been treated in this place like she was sort of an animal. Why don't you put yourself in her shoes as well, Yoona?" I asked bitterly. "Try living in a place where all people do is hurt you, physically and emotionally, for years and years… would you like that?"

"And then suddenly, after years and years of hurt and humiliation, there comes a doctor who is willing to treat you fine. A doctor that seems to have a.. strange _affection_ towards you. What do you do?" She retorted.

I squinted. "What?"

"Tiffany… Kim Taeyeon is _not_ opening up herself a lot to you. She hasn't showed her actual personality. She showed a personality you would fall for. She doesn't want you to be far from her because she knows she's got you. She's gotten into your head like no other doctor had. Kim Taeyeon is lying to you, making you believe she's not a bad person so you can like her." I shook my head. "And she did. You developed this strange attachment to her persona that now you can't stay away from her. Even if it just for a couple days." I kept shaking my head. No. Not this again. Yuri telling me that was enough. I didn't need Yoona as well.

"You're wrong." I said gritting my teeth.

"I might be. But it's better to be wrong and cautious than right and reckless. You're not a rookie, Tiffany, why are you behaving like one?"

" _You are the rookiest doctor I ever met." Taeyeon's voice suddenly echoed in my head._

That made tears fall down from my eyes.

" _Is th_ _is_ _your first job, Doc?"_

" _Of course not! I worked at a mental hospital for two years before coming here!"_

" _So why do you behave like a rookie?"_

" _I don't behave like a rookie!"_

" _What happened is that her sugar levels spiked really high at the day of the incident and all the sugar clashed with the sedatives she was taking. The clash between the sugar and the sedatives gave her a heart attack..."_

I gulped the lump in my throat and got up from the chair.

"Tiffany?"

I ignored her, not caring for the tears streaming down my face and walked outside that building till finally finding my car in the parking lot. It didn't took long to hear some knocks on the glass. I didn't need to lift my head to know it was Yoona. I turned the ignition on and when Yoona stepped back, I finally drove off home.

As I got out of the shower, still with my eyes swollen from crying, I heard the bell ringing. I grunted a bit annoyed. I didn't really want to see anyone. All I wanted to do was lay down on my bed and sleep soundly.

My eyes enlarged when through the magic eye of the door, I recognized Kwon Yuri. I frowned finding weird that she was just at my door. What she was doing over there?

"Is everything alright, Yuri?" I asked upon greeting her.

"Hey, Doc…. I… uh..."

"What's wrong?"

"You gotta a minute to spare?" She asked. Her eyes a bit down. I also smelled alcohol and feeling my heart warm up I put my hand over her shoulder.

"Yeah, sure. Come in." I said trying to comforting her for whatever reason.

"Thanks, Doc." She left out a hiccup.

I pointed to the sofa where she sat promptly. I walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"Nice place." She said looking around. I heard another hiccup.

"How do you know my adress?" I asked from the kitchen.

"It's in your hic...resume." Oh, right.

"Here, drink some." I said, getting back to the living room with the glass of water in hands.

"Is that vodka?" She asked upon seeing me giving her the glass.

"No, it's water. You won't be drinking any more tonight."

"I don't dri-hic-nk every… night." She defended herself.

"I'm not saying you do. I'm just saying it's enough for today."

She nodded her head and gulped some water. "You alright?"

"I… uh..." I got quiet, waiting for her reply. "I… saw her, Doc."

"Saw who?"

"My... former girlfriend." She said looking at me asking for help. "At the pub." I didn't have experience dealing with homosexual relationships, but in my head it was just the same as heterosexual ones. So I caressed her back.

"You want some vodka?"

"Just relax, okay? You don't need to tell me anything that makes you feel uncomfortable." I comforted her.

"Everything makes me feel uncomfortable." Her tongue enrolled. Yuri was laying down on my couch, whilst I was sitting on a chair, doing my best to be professional even if that situation was casual as fuck.

"Just tell me what you're struggling with right now."

"You know it already, doc." She said looking at me.

"No, I don't."

"You do. The inmate told you." And then I realized this talk wasn't just about Yuri reunion with her past girlfriend. It was about something bigger than that.

"And why don't you tell me yourself?"

"What's the difference?" She moved her hands outwards angrily, revealing a bit of her drunken state.

"Speaking your own worries and struggles is different from having somebody else to do it for you. Besides, it's not like you are rejoiced that she told me, is it? You're mad. You're hurt. She said something you didn't want me to know, or anyone for that matter." I saw her twisting her lips and I knew I was making sense to her. "So, just forget what I know, forget that I heard her saying that and tell me yourself. Tell me whatever you want to. I want to hear your voice, Yuri, not Taeyeon's."

"Fuck Taeyeon." She said harshly. "Fuck that fucking bastard!" Ok, her anger towards Taeyeon seems to be back. "You like her, Doc?" My heart just performed a back-flip. Yuri snorted. "You think she's nice… that you can trust her?" And she started to giggle sarcastically.

"Yuri?" I called her worriedly seeing her reaction.

"I thought she was..." She started saying it. "I thought she was the one…you know, Doc… But then...everything changed...She changed." I saw lone tear roll down her left eye. "That fucking bastard."

The one? What was she talking about?

And then it struck me.

The one...like...the one special? The one you would finally settle down and get married and have kids?

Was she talking about Taeyeon? What the fuck? My heart started beating nervously. Does that mean...that…Were Taeyeon and Yuri...more than friends?

Oh, God, no! That's impossible! How could Taeyeon and Yuri be more than an officer and an inmate? No!

"What?" My brain stopped working. "How Taeyeon is anyhow related to this?" Maybe her intoxicated state was creating illusions in her head.

"She fooled me! She cheated on me!"

I blinked obliviously. "Taeyeon cheated on you?"

"I knew I shouldn't trust that bastard. I knew she was playing with me!"

"I'm sorry, Yuri… But I… I don't understand."

"I don't understand either, Doc!" She giggled louder. "I saw my former girlfriend, my first girlfriend!" She said munching her inner cheeks. "After all this time… after all she's done..."

Ok, so maybe she wasn't talking about Taeyeon after all.I guess her druken state was just making her let everything that was bothering her out at once.

"And you still like her..." It wasn't a question. Upon seeing her reaction, it was easy to see Yuri still had feelings for that woman.

"I guess so."

"So why don't you tell her?"

"It's complicated."

"Does she have a new girlfriend?"

"I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Do you have a girlfriend? Are you currently in a relationship?"

She left out a dry chuckle. "No. I don't really stay on steady relationships..."

"Really? Why is that?" I asked curious.

"Family, work, society..." I gulped. "It's not worthy."

"Some people are worthy, Yuri. You're afraid of a commitment? You think all the pressure from your family and work will you bring you down? You know, sometimes it's worthy to fight those dragons...especially with someone at your side. In the cave you're afraid to enter lies the treasure you seek."

"How do you know… when someone is worthy?"

I got quiet. I didn't. I didn't know that. Life is complicated and can be very deceiving. Just like Taeyeon said once 'Life likes to throw wedgies'…. It likes to fool you around and hurt you. Sometimes life works fine for you sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you think you have found the right person, but then you haven't.

"I don't." I said honestly. "I don't know when someone is worthy."

"I thought she was..." She started saying it again. "I thought she was the one… But then...everything changed...She changed." I left out a shy smile finally understanding what she was talking about earlier. It wasn't about Taeyeon, it was about her former girlfriend.

"What do you think it changed her? How did it change her?"

"The inmate changed her." She said coldly.

"The inmate?" I raised one of my eyebrows.

"Kim Taeyeon."

"What?" My brain stopped working once again. That's it, I was lost. "I don't' understand… How Taeyeon is related to you and your former girlfriend? That doesn't make any sense… How did she changed her?"

"She used her dark magic! She's a witch, Doc!" I raised my brows.

"Yuri… calm down…" I guided her. "C'mon, calm down… and tell me... what happened between you and Taeyeon?"

* * *

"You wanna know the story, Doc?" She asked enrolling her tongue again. "You wanna know why your little inmate is a fucking bastard?"

I looked away, feeling angry that she was calling Taeyeon a bastard. "I told you not to trust her! But you didn't listen to me! And now look at you, Doc?" She scoffed. "Caught in whatever black magic she's cast."

"She's not a witch, Yuri." Her drunken state was making things up.

"She is, Doc! She MUST BE!" She shouted, saliva being spatting out of her mouth out of anger. "She's always there… making people fancy her!" I twisted my lips. "And it doesn't matter how many she kills and hurts and breaks, there's always someone liking her back!" She gritted her teeth. "It's not fair, Doc." She said leaving a tear stream down. "There are people who are good and righteous you know… who never take the wrong path..." I closed my eyes feeling what she said have an extra weight on me. "And yet… they end up alone." My heart bumped harder. "It's not fair."

"Is that why you hate her?" I finally asked her after a couple of seconds in silence. "Because she gets people to like her…?"

And again silence was set between us.

"You know when..." She started saying, looking at the ceiling. "You're caught in the middle of a crossroad? You don't know where to go or where you will end up. You just need to take one way and go on." I blinked finding interesting in how she was talking. I love metaphors. "There's two ways, one on your right and the other on your left. You spend a couple minutes deciding which one to take, and then finally, you start walking, following the path you chose. But then while walking along the way you picked, you start to wonder what would happen if you had picked the other one instead… What if I had taken the left instead of the right? Where would it lead me to?"

I kept quiet, finding her words actually hit me. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to me if I hadn't came to Korea. What would have happened if I had chosen to be a business woman like my father wanted me to be? Where I would be now?

"I picked right." Yuri spoke again. "Taeyeon picked left." "I'm an officer, she's an inmate. She's the path I never took. She's the cigarette I never smoke; the lie I never told; the bank I never stole; the killing I never did. We are day and night, Taeyeon and I." That was kinda powerful to be honest.

"Taeyeon… is everything I am not." I frowned my brows. "She's the answer for my question 'What would have happened to me if I had taken left?' And despite all her wrongdoings and brutal crimes, she's very… _likeable_. She's mad and dangerous… yet… she's... she has this... _witchcraft_...to make people like her. I for the other hand… never had… even if I am...a righteous person. I am an officer. I'm the law and the rules and the justice...but… people don't like me."

I twisted my lips, my eyes starting to get watery. "Yuri..."

"Taeyeon used to say I am boring. Back then when I was around her section, she tried talking to me and I just yelled at her to shut up. 'Aish, how can you be so… boring, Yuri? You're annoying, you know. You're a pretty woman, you're suppose to be nice! But dang, so boring…'

"I'm sorry." I said finally leaving a tear fall down.

"I had just came to the Asylum. Back then, Eugene was the only female officer of the place. She was nice, very professional and she taught me all I needed to know. But Eugene was married and eventually, she ended up being pregnant. She decided to quit so she could focus on taking care of her child and family. I don't really blame her, I understand. The Asylum is not a place for pregnant women." I nodded my head, still quiet. "After she quit, I became the only female officer of the place. I was a freshman, I was single, I was virgin. Those things seem to please men."

I gulped a bit nervous and I prayed for God that Yuri wasn't sexually harassed or something.

"I talked to old man SM and asked him to put me in a place where it could make me feel more comfortable. Back then there were sections reserved for females residents only. So I was put there. Most of my shifts used to happen in those sections and units. Three days a week my night shifts happened exactly around Taeyeon's section. I also was the officer leading her to her interviews. That's when she tried talking to me. She tried telling stupid jokes so I could laugh, I just told her to shut the fuck up." "For months she's done that and I never told her anything other than shut up. I was determined to show Lee Soo Man some service. That though I was a woman, I wasn't soft."

I started picturing in my head all those events going on. Taeyeon gibberish talks with Yuri while going to her sessions; Yuri telling her to shut up, how Yuri would do anything to show how professional she was.

"While in recreation time, Taeyeon tried to be around me, pissing me off. She would spent her recreation time blabbing things to me. She started following me wherever I would go, I got angry at that. It was like she couldn't do anything else other than pissing me off. 'Leave me alone, Inmate!' She just scoffed and replied 'But you need company.' Well I didn't need hers." I chuckled a small lopsided smile.

"One day… while leading her to her session with Dr. Shin, Taeyeon told me 'Ho Sung has an eye on you, officer.'"My eyes opened a tad wider. Ho Sung? Was he already at the Asylum? "I found weird she was saying that, most of times all she ever said were jokes, riddles and made up stories. I never took her seriously. But when she told me that, she added 'Be careful with him.'

That made my heart beat faster, afraid.

"He was one of the general doctors of the place. Kinda like Seohyun and Kyunhyun are today. Except that, it was only him that time in the position." I stood quiet. "Sometimes, when at the refectory having lunch, Ho Sung came try talking to me. I kinda noticed he was interested in me. But I wasn't interested in him. I never was. I never was into men." I caressed her arm, comforting her. "I always kept it to myself. They must never know, I used to tell. No one must know! But though I was aware of my disease, I never really got me into relationships, not even with other girls."

I didn't like she said it was a disease. It's not healthy to think this way, moreover it wasn't right. But I didn't say anything. I just stood quiet, respecting her silence and her words.

"One day, he came to me and said he wanted to talk in privacy. I was kinda preparing myself mentally to tell him I didn't like him that way. He led me to his office, and when I told him how I really felt…He didn't take a no for an answer…"

She stopped talking, and I prayed for God that it didn't happen what I was thinking.

"Yuri..."

"He kissed me." She backed up. "He kissed me forcefully, and I swear to God I never felt so disgusted. I felt nauseous, my guts twisting around inside me, making me really close to throw up. I pushed him away, never wanting so hard to cleanse my mouth, tongue and throat." I squeezed her hand. "Even though I had pushed him, he kissed me a second time. I guess he thought me pushing him away was just me in denial to my true feelings or whatever. Or maybe because I had pushed him away he just got horny. Some men like fierce and feisty women, like those ones that spank them with a whip or something like that. I don't know."

"I'm so sorry, Yuri..." I said picturing the scene. God, that was so gross.

"He started kissing my neck and I loathed it. So bad, Doc. I don't think I could loath something so bad in my entire life. And when I felt him trying unzipping my pants -" I gasped, covering my mouth ajar with my hands. "I grabbed the electrifying gun in my belt and I shot him, making him fall to the floor. I was still revolted and with my feet, I stomped his nose."

Oh.

So… That's why Ho Sung has a crooked nose. Yuri broke his nose. Take that, scumbag!

"But before I could leave that office, he got up, pressing myself against the wall. The blood of his nose touching my face and I grimaced in distaste. He threatened me. If I told anyone, he would come kill me." I closed my eyes feeling my repugnance gets higher.

I gulped hard. "Yuri… I..."

"I had no other choice than obey. I didn't tell Lee Soo Man of that incident."

"You should have! He would have been fired, Yuri! Even before he could do something to you!"

"I was scared." It was then that I got carried away with the story. I wasn't there to judge her actions, I was there to listen and respect. I muttered an apology. "He's a doctor, he could just dope me and kill me and still say it wasn't his fault. Everyone will believe him."

"You never really told anyone?"

"Just one." And she looked at me. "I told… Kim Taeyeon."

I frowned my brows. "Taeyeon?"

"She advised me to be careful. And all those days she had followed saying that "you need company" was to prevent me from being alone with him." My eyes enlarged. "Somehow I felt like if someone should know it had to be her. So I told her. I thanked her."

I didn't know what to say.

"After that… Something changed… I don't know. Something just...clicked." My heart though it was beating a little bit proud. "And after that incident, upon leading Kim to her sessions one more time, she made another stupid joke." I heard her giggle, her eyes gleaming with tears. I chuckled for her reaction. "God, it was so stupid!" I laughed louder. She was still laughing, her cheeks pink-ish due to alcohol. "But that was when I, for the first time ever, laughed at her jokes." She used her hands to wipe her tears. "Eventually, I stopped telling her to shut up. I started talking to her." I smiled. "And I caught myself enjoying it."

"Days and weeks and months passed like this. We weren't close like friends, but we weren't distant either. We just liked talking to one another." I asked myself if this wasn't the case with Taeyeon and I.

"One day, one of the officers, Kris, was caught smuggling some drugs in, so he was fired."

I gulped, remembering of my situation. The same could happen to me if they find out I gave sweets to inmates. Especially as regularly as it was to Taeyeon.

"When Kris left, I asked Lee Soo Man if he could hire more female officers. I told him I felt insecure and lonely. He decided to open two more vacancies. One for female officers only. And that was when I met Soyeon."

I assumed she was talking about her girlfriend. I didn't know she was an officer as well. "I found her attractive since first sight, but I did everything I could so she wouldn't know about my… _preference_." It must be tough for Yuri, to live hiding herself like this. "Months have passed and I just looked at her. Admiring her. I couldn't talk to her properly, I was afraid she could tell I was... _gay_." I knew how hard it was for her to say that word out loud like this. I knew how hard it was for her to tell me all that story. I squeezed her hand, giving her comfort and support.

"Taeyeon is smart and it didn't take long to her realize that. Whenever I was heading her to her sessions, she asked me about the other officer. One of those times, she said 'You like girls, don't you, officer?' I said I didn't, she just scoffed. 'I've met girls like you before, Yuri. Girls who happen to like girls. You're not that different.' I denied again and she said 'This is why you're boring, Yuri. You don't accept who you are. Always serious, angry, with this bitchness in your face. Get a _bitch to be on your face, Yuri._ It'll be fun. You will like it.'" Yuri chuckled.

"She said she could make Officer Soyeon be interested in me. She said she could make her like me." She twisted her lips. "And I guess she did. I don't know, Soyeon started talking to me, asking me to have lunch with her and stuff. Day by day we got closer and closer. I realized I fell in love with her. Kim realized that too. And she kinda help me to have the strength to tell Soyeon how I felt. When I finally told her, she said she felt the same."

"We started dating, hidden from everyone else, no one should know. No one must know. The only person to know about it was Kim Taeyeon." She sighed. "We dated for months and she made me feel alive. She made me feel brave and proud." I smiled, kinda happy for her. "Lee Soo Man was impressed with me and he decided to give me a promotion. Everything was working perfectly fine. I had a girlfriend, an awesome one, I had a promotion and I could have the chance to be the warden when SM retires." She stopped talking for a minute.

"Because I was promoted, my shifts changed and now, it was Soyeon who had three shifts around Taeyeon's section. She was the officer leading her to her interviews." My heart beat louder. "And that was when she started to change. She used to be very professional, but then she started to be sloppy and not being so serious about it. I noticed she started talking about Kim Taeyeon more often and how she seemed to be like a good person." And I gulped hard because Yuri shifted her gaze towards me. "She started to defend her from other officers and doctors. And whenever Taeyeon was headed to the SHU, Soyeon asked old man SM to cover the unit."

I looked away, knowing exactly what was happening.

"When Taeyeon killed Dr. Shin..." My eyes enlarged upon hearing that. Dr. Shin! So that was the doctor who Taeyeon killed! "Before going to the SHU again, she was headed to the medical center to have some brain examinations. She just had an episode of hers and Ho Sung wanted to know how her brain worked during that time. She spent a few days there. And that was when I saw it." She chewed her inner cheeks, rather angrily. "I saw _them."_ She cried a tear. "Through the camera surveillance of the room, I saw them… _doing it."_ I closed my eyes, crying a tear as well. "I saw _her…_ my _girlfriend_ … moaning _her_ name, yearning for it. _"_

Oh, God.

That hit me hard. Oh God, it is so heartbreaking! My voice died and I couldn't say anything.

"I pretended I didn't see it. For months I kept telling myself that was just a silly mistake, that she didn't know what was doing. But I knew. I knew that every time Soyeon asked to cover the SHU, I knew they were doing it." I closed my eyes. "She cheated on me, Doc." I gulped again. "She cheated on me with an inmate. She cheated on me with Taeyeon. Taeyeon cheated on me. She stabbed on my back."

"I..I'm so sorry… Yuri..."

"I guess Soyeon had a great time. I was her safe girlfriend while she had that inmate as a lover. Dating an officer and an inmate! Ha! What a time to be alive, ain't it? Living the life on the edge! So exciting!" I could tell her anger through her sarcasm and loud voice.

"When SM finally announced his retirement, he also said he would pick someone else to be the warden. I was believing it would be me. And that would make everything be fine again." I bit my lower lip, feeling awful. "But no. He picked Ho Sung. That fucking hoe who sexually harassed me! I got so mad, Doc! So angry!" She chuckled coldly. "You know, Taeyeon used to tell me anyone could be crazy and mad like her, you just need a bad day." I frowned at that. "I had my bad day."

"I got to Lee Soo Man and told him about Soyeon and Kim Taeyeon. I showed him the video. It's illegal you know, Doc?" She said looking at me again. "To have an affair with an inmate." I gulped hard again.

"Soyeon was fired at the same day. She got mad at me for being a snitch. Ha! Can you believe that, Doc? My girlfriend saying that _I_ was a traitor! I told her to fuck off. I broke up with her, never wanting to see her face again."

"Yuri..."

"I went to tell Kim that Soyeon had been fired. And she said 'It's not really surprising, she really has a fire down there.'" Ok, I may like Taeyeon jokes but I knew what was really uncalled for. It was very disrespectful. "And I lost it. I shot her an electric shock and my hands curled around her neck." My eyes snapped wide open.

"I pressed them hard against her throat. Her body started to spasm, trying grasp some air. There, at the moment, I could have killed her." She gritted her teeth. "I could have pressed it harder and wait till she is out of oxygen and fall dead below me." She paused. Maybe thinking how it would feel like if she had done it. "But I didn't." She left out another tear. "I couldn't do it. Taeyeon had advised me about Ho Sung. She kept my secret about me being gay. She kept secret about Soyeon and I dating. She could tell everyone… I would have been mocked, would have been… laughed at. But she didn't. She didn't tell anyone."

I caressed her hand softly. "So..I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill her myself. I...lost the strength in my fingers and...I finally let her go."

I didn't want to say I was relieved that she did it.

"I got up from the floor and left. I stopped talking to Kim Taeyeon ever since. I didn't want to see Ho Sung so often as the warden of the place so when Junsu left, I asked SM to put me in charge of the Archive. He accepted my pleas and I moved to the basement. … where I could be alone, in peace." I exhaled, just sad. "And I haven't seen Soyeon ever since…that is... till… today." She said, her voice smaller than before.

I was touched by the story. I had no words with me after Yuri finished it. It's very heartbreaking. I can understand how she dislikes Taeyeon now. She had Taeyeon as someone she could trust, but Taeyeon cheated on her with her own girlfriend. How own girlfriend cheated on her! Her very first girlfriend! It's enraging. It's hurtful.

"I saw her… at the pub." She said again. "With another girl." I felt my heart squeeze itself. It's hurtful to think that even if she had done that, after all those years, Yuri still had feelings for the girl.

"I found her alone for a second… and I decided to have a word with her. Just to check how she was going and stuff." I kept quiet waiting for her next words. "I asked her how her life was. And then I asked her why she did that. Why did she cheated on me? We were a good team, Soyeon and I. I couldn't understand why she would betray me." She chuckled sarcastically. "You know what she said, Doc?"

"What?" My voice was just above a whisper.

" _You're boring, Yuri."_ I gulped hard, crying a silent tear again.

"I'm so sorry, Yuri."

God, that was painful! Jesus, I was devastated.

"I'm boring..." She nodded her head, but the look on her face was rather of humiliation. She giggled sarcastically once again. "I don't steal! I don't do drugs! I don't kill! I don't smash people's heads on the walls! BUT! I'm boring!"

"Yuri..."

"What would have happened to me, Doc? If I had picked left?" I bit my lower lip. "Would I… have been… _fun?"_ I didn't answer it. "Would I have gotten many girlfriends? Would I have been… like Taeyeon?"

"Yuri… You can't dwell on thoughts like this." I said shaking my head. "It's just smoke and mirrors. You think it's better to be not boring than being a righteous person? It isn't."

"So why people don't like me?" She asked me angrily. "Why my girlfriend cheated on me? Why that inmate fooled me, making me believe she was helping me when she was not? Why do I have to end up alone at the end of the day?"

"You're hurt." I replied. "All those words and events they hurt you and they keep hurting you. Day by day. And you think someone would eventually cheat on you again. That's why you won't engage in steady relationships. You think that casual sex makes you not feel that pain again. You think that casual sex makes you... _fun, outgoing."_ She twisted her lips. "I know it is hard to have a steady relationship when you're homosexual in a country like this. Casual sex seems to be a safer choice. No attachments, no explanations. Don't ask don't tell." I squeezed her hand. "Sometimes… all you need to do is to tell. Don't be ashamed of who you are, Yuri, nor of the path you've taken."

"You said Taeyeon is everything you're not?" I smiled. " _You_ _are_ everything she isn't. You are her right path. You are her non-smoking cigarette, her non-stolen bank, her non-killing crime. Your life has lead you to chose this path and you can't see it as uninteresting just because one person said you're boring."

"Two." She said shyly.

"You may not be fun to Officer Soyeon, but someone else might find you an awesome person." She smiled timidly. "And once you show her your true self, with no fears and hidings, you will know the worth of a steady and long relationship. You don't need to end up alone at the end of day, Yuri. You won't. Because you'd have someone there to be with you. Proud of you." She looked at me, her eyes gleaming shiny. "You may have had a bad day… but that doesn't mean all your days are bad as well. Make them good. Make them be good and worthy days."

She chuckled, seeming to like my words. Her cheeks were still pink-ish due to alcohol she has been drinking, but I knew she was sober enough to understand and remember that conversation. "Don't wait for good news to expect life to be better. Make it better. On your own way."

"Thank you, Doc." She nodded her head, I smiled. "Thank you very much." "And… uh… can you not…-

"This conversation is private." I repeated firmly.

"I know but… about… Ho Sung…- I squinted. - It's just that… if he knows I told you… he..."

How could I look at Ho Sung and not be disgusted for what he did I don't know but I need to be professional and not allow personal matters to be involved. He is a coward prick but in the end he didn't really succeed in getting what he wanted from Yuri, and after all those years, they were in a cold war. I shall not stir it and mess things up. "He won't know. I promise you."

"Thank you, Doc." She thanked me one more time, rising from the couch.

"You are leaving?" I asked surprised.

She blinked. "I took too much of your time already. I shall be going."

"You are not in the best condition to be all by yourself late at night like this."

"I'm fine, Doc. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, but still, it's not safe."

"I shall be going, Doc, I probably bored you out."

"You're not boring, Yuri." I said standing myself up. "It's late and it's dangerous for you to get back all by yourself."

"I'll take the train."

"Just stay here." I said placing my hand over her shoulder. "You can sleep here. It's safer."

"No, Doc, I shouldn't..."

"It's alright, really. I have a guest room, you can stay there."

She ended up nodding her head, finally accepting the offer. "Thank you, Doctor Hwang." We just ended up hugging each other. "Thank you very much. It really made me feel better."

When I lay down on my bed, I kept thinking of what Yuri told me. I wondered what Taeyeon and she talked for all those days and months. How they were kinda comrades. I mean she said they weren't really friends but they were kinda close.

" _What happened between you and Yuri?"_

" _Nothing happened."_

She knew exactly what had happened. She was involved in it. She betrayed Yuri. She cheated on her with her own girlfriend. That was very low. I felt bad for Yuri. She trusted Taeyeon. She trusted Taeyeon enough to tell her about Ho Sung. It's a big deal here. Taeyeon was keeping Yuri's secret and in a way her own life as well... if Ho Sung had known it, Yuri would have been in danger.

My eyes squinted.

" _We dated for months, hidden from everybody else. No one should know. No one must know. The only one to know about it was Taeyeon."_

" _She kept my secret about me being gay. She kept secret about Soyeon and I dating. She could tell everyone… I would have been mocked, would have been… laughed at. But she didn't. She didn't tell anyone."_

So if Taeyeon kept secret of Yuri's _preference_ for all those years, why did she tell me?

" _You had a hard time dealing with those horny officers, don't you, Yuri… Especially because you never told them you're… how they are called these days? Ah yeah, Gay..."_

My eyes snapped wide open.

She wanted me to know about Yuri!

I'm emotional and that makes me care about people. Taeyeon knows it. She saw how much I tried to get closer to her, to help her. She knows I gave Irene candy. She knows I'm overly nice to people, she even told me to stop being like this.

My lips cracked a chuckle. She knew it! She knew it I would try talk to Yuri! She knew I would feel bad for her and I would try to help! I can't believe it!

She wants _me_ to help Yuri!

I giggled covering my face with my hands. She…

She _trusts_ _me_.

I laughed louder, feeling my heart beat as crazy as it could. She trusts me! I felt overjoyed! I felt like I had won a competition! Taeyeon trusted me enough to tell _me_ Yuri's secret so I could help her.

And if she wants me to help Yuri that… that means she feels sorry for what she did!

" _Well, that's a plot twist. Kim Taeyeon feeling sorry?"_

" _I feel sorry for many things."_

My lips curved into a smile, a proud one.

But soon it fainted away. My eyes opened wider in shock. All this time, I wasn't paying much attention to it… and somehow it shocked me that it took me so long to be aware of it! I rose up from my bed, walking towards the bedroom Yuri was sleeping in.

"Yuri?" I called her, she grunted. I took that as yes.

"Taeyeon had an affair with your girlfriend?"

"I just...spent the whole night telling you that." She said frowning her brows finding weird that I asked that question.

"So...this means… this means..."

"Means what?"

"Taeyeon is gay?"

Everything just clicked.

It all made sense now.

" _Fanny! You know what a fanny is, Doc? That's an awesome name! It's a name that puts a smile on my face. It makes me feel like there's someone here I can relate to."_

" _Why can you relate to someone called fanny?"_

" _Shh, it's a secret, Doc."_

She's gay. She likes fannies. She likes butts.

Oh. My. God.

How that took so long to sink in my brain I had no idea. But after so long, it did. It finally did. Taeyeon is gay. Or at least bisexual. She's interested in women. If she wasn't, she wouldn't cheat on Yuri with Soyeon. She wouldn't have had sex with her.

She had sex with Yuri's girlfriend.

 _Had sex._

 _Sex._

I felt my face blush completely and the heat in my core come back. How...would feel like? To have sex with Tae...NO, TIFFANY! Not again! Once was enough, I will not doing it again!

Shut up! Shut your mind off! Don't even think about it!

I decided to take a cold shower and finally go to bed.

Once Yuri and I arrived at the Asylum, Yuri went to have another shower so she could change her clothes and put her uniform.

I was glad Yuri trusted me enough to tell me her story. I was glad she had come to me to talk about it. We had our disagreements in the past and I thought that would make her go to Yoona or Seohyun instead. But no. She came to me. Maybe because I had promised her I would help her become warden of the place. And now that I know how much of an asshole Ho Sung could be, I was willing to make everything I can for Yuri to be it.

And after what she told me, I understand why she thought Taeyeon couldn't be trusted. I understand why she said she was a liar. Even though Taeyeon might be sorry for what she did in the past, she _lied_ to Yuri. She made her believe they were friends but that just led to Taeyeon to be close to officer Soyeon and betray Yuri.

Now I know why Yuri said that many times for me to step back from Taeyeon. She was afraid that could happen to me. She was afraid I could trust Taeyeon enough and Taeyeon would just fool me around like she did with Yuri. She was afraid Taeyeon would make me like her, just like how she did with Soyeon, and I would end up having a relationship with her.

But no.

That won't happen.

I mean, yes, I trust Taeyeon. She saved my job. She showed me that she isn't a cold blood murderer. She showed me how vulnerable she actually is. I know that Yuri and Yoona were trying to alert me but at the same time I know they don't know Taeyeon like a do.

I know Taeyeon is not what they believe. I know Taeyeon is much more than jokes, made up stories and riddles. She used them as her weapons so people can't reach her true self. She is hurt. And she doesn't want to show her shards for people. She thinks it's a sign of weakness. Many inmates do.

So, no.

I won't take some days off.

I won't be far from Taeyeon.

For the first time ever, she found a doctor she could trust. She trusts me. And I won't let her down.

After Yuri finished her showers, she met me in the cafeteria, and had breakfast with me. "Thank you for last night, Doc." She said for the hundreth times.

"Anytime, Yuri. Whenever you feel like you need a talk, come to me. I will always help you."

We smiled to each other but our attention was caught when we heard some officers shouting. We exchanged glances and rose from our table, going to where the bunch of officers were gathering. They were inside the building but were blocking the view from the windows from whatever was happening outside in the Garden Area.

"What's going on?" Yuri asked trying to see for herself.

"Inmate Choi from section 4." One of them replied. "At the yard."

"The yard?" Yuri frowned her brows. "Ain't no time for recreation, why she would be in the yard?"

"I don't know. But the bitch sure is getting what she deserves."

That made me angry. I don't even know who that inmate Choi was but how those officers could be such heartless pricks were beyond me. I left the cafeteria, finally getting to the yard to see for myself what was going on. Yuri followed me behind.

My eyes enlarged when I recognized Choi Sooyoung, down on the floor. Her nose had been bleeding and her hands and ankles were cuffed. I felt a sudden rage fill me in. When I saw the officer shot her an electric shock, I snapped it.

"What you think you're doing, Doctor?" Yuri held my arm.

"What? Are you gonna let them do it? We need to do something!" I let go of her arm.

"Doctor!"

I pushed the officer away from Sooyoung. "What you think you're doing? Stop it!" I shouted angrily. "She is cuffed already! There's no need for you to resort to violence!"

"The bitch is a sneaker!"

"Sneaker?" I muttered not getting what the man was saying.

"The bitch being sneaky with junky food!"

"Junky food?"

"Yeah!" He spitted on the grass. "Look! The bitch's been smuggling food right under our noses!" And he showed the napkins filled with macaroons.

My heart just shrunk.

It was the macaroons! The same ones I gave her! The _last_ ones I had given her!

"Bet this one was that gave Kim that fucking heart attack!" I heard Kim Hyoyeon say it. "She's been giving food for all her mates!"

"NO!" Sooyoung shouted, though rather weekly. "I haven't given Kim Taeyeon anything, I SWEAR!"

I flinched when an officer hit his elbow on her nose. Sooyoung screeched. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO ONE HERE IS ASKING YOU ANYTHING!"

I stood silent, feeling my eyes burn. And they burnt harder when I saw Yoona's horrified expression upon seeing Sooyoung.

There, under the looks of all those officers and doctors, I closed my eyes, leaving tears roam down my face. I had given Taeyeon her gummy worms… and it led Taeyeon to have a heart attack. I had given Sooyoung macaroons and it led her to be humiliated like this.

I could end this.

I could say it was me.

I could say I was the one who caused all the trouble.

But if I do, I would be fired. Fired after getting fine in my job. I had earned Taeyeon's trust. I had earned Yuri's trust. I had earned Yoona's trust.

If I don't, I would stay on the job. But I would feeding a lie, letting innocent people to be charged of guilty for things they didn't do it. I would be no different from those officers, who allow people to get hurt just for my sake.

What…should I...just… do?

* * *

This...is just...not okay. I need to do it. I needed to say.

"Let's take her to Ho Sung." I closed my eyes, feeling my heart ache as I heard an officer say it. I was silent, still trying to have the guts to say the truth. "Let's have this worthless bitch rot her ass in the SHU!" Upon hearing that many officers cheered up.

That's it. I couldn't take this. It's wrong. It's wrong Sooyoung being humiliated like this. It's wrong to hide myself behind my white jacket.

"It's me." I said, my voice croaked a little. All the officers and doctors around looked at me. "It was me."

I could notice Yoona was looking at me suspiciously. I knew she was finding strange that I had some tears crying for what just happened to Sooyoung. I had promised her I would leave Sooyoung alone – that I wouldn't bother her anymore - but I know she will get mad at me for saying that out loud. I know she will not look at me as a friend anymore. What I've done was way too far as a doctor, I reckon that.

"It was me." I said one more time, this timer louder.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Yuri asked getting near me.

"I gave Sooyoung these cakes."

"Stop it, Doctor." Yuri tugged my arm. "Don't try to save those bastards, they are not worth it!"

"They are worth it!" I shouted angrily, pushing Yuri's arm away from me. I saw Yuri widen her eyes. "Those residents are people too, god dammit! And they need to be treated with dignity and respect! Those inmates… they are lost, hopeless…Have you ever tried to understand how it feels like? To be treated like shit for all those years?" I then started to feel all their gaze change to a serious and cold glare.

"You know why I brought her pastry? Because of THIS! THIS TREATMENT OF YOURS!" I said now pointing at the officer who previously beat her nose up. "You use this uniform of yours to beat them up, to humiliate them! WOULD YOU LIKE, OFFICER? WOULD YOU LIKE IF I BEAT YOU UP LIKE THIS? So, yes, officer, I gave her pastry! I gave Sooyoung these cakes! I gave Taeyeon sweets! I gave them all those goods so they could finally know how it feels like to have someone to care about them!" I shouted angrily. My chest rising and falling for my outburst.

"You gave Kim Taeyeon sweets?" I heard Yuri's voice and I never felt so hurt in my entire life. I looked at her, ashamed of myself. "Are you really serious? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" I cried a tear.

"Yuri…."

She scoffed, completely sarcastically. "You gotta be kidding me… This is..." She looked away angrily. After what she told me, I know she is upset with me. I fell for Taeyeon. I fell for Taeyeon just like Soyeon had fallen. And that was another stab in Yuri's heart. "I KNEW IT! I knew you two were way too close!" I looked down.

"Yuri..."

"C'mon guys! Take that inmate and the doctor to Sung's Office!" She commanded and I gulped hard. Sooyoung, who still had her nose broken, was dragged up immediately. "Enjoy your last day here, Doctor Hwang!" Yuri said it harshly.

"Yuri..." I cried as Yuri walked away from us. My eyes opened wide as I felt my hands being handcuffed behind my back.

"Sorry, Doctor, but for safety reasons you will be headed to Dr. Sung's Office restrained." I felt my heart twist around my chest. There's nothing else I could do so I nodded in silence.

It was the first time I ever been cuffed in my life. And I never really knew how powerful handcuffs were. There's a big feeling of inferiority for being imprisoned like this. It's the officers who make you walk and when not, it's the officers who make you talk and when not… No wonders they feel superior to prisoners after a while. Quite amazing how are a pair of cuffs can mean so much.

My feet were following the steps of the other officers leading me to Ho Sung's office. I had my head lowered, looking at the floor at all times. Walking alongside me was Sooyoung, also following the other officers. Even with my head down like that, I could feel Yoona looking at me. Probably mad and disappointed at me.

I knew I was wrong. And to be honest the only reason why I was feeling awful at myself was because the sweets have given Taeyeon a heart attack. If she hadn't suffered that, I wouldn't be so hurt. My actions almost killed a patient of mine, my favorite patient above all, and I would never forgive myself if Taeyeon was dead. But truth to be told, if she had never suffered that heart attack, I'd still proudly keep giving her all the sweets she wanted. It was very unprofessional of me, but I felt like I was owing her so much. I felt like she needed to have a doctor that could treat her with no use of violence either it be physically or emotionally here.

But now I was being dragged up to Ho Sung's office to face that man I so truly despised. "What's the problem now?" The warden asked upon us entering his office. Yuri got back to her basement and I knew it was an excuse to not look at his face. That coward prick who once sexually harassed her is now the warden. That evil man who allows all that torture to happen here is now the one who will decide my future.

"Doctor Hwang have been smuggling food for the inmates, sir." Officer Siwon replied. "She gave Choi here a bunch of food; according to her herself "I gave them all those goods so they could finally know how it feels like to have someone to care about them!"

"Is that so?" I gulped, still having my head down. "So..you became friends with the residents, huh Doctor?"

I stood quiet. He sighed disappointed. "It seems like the rumors are true after all… And you know, Doctor Hwang, we have rules here...and they must be followed strictly."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Are you? Tell me, Doctor...How many rules you think you have broken by giving food to Miss Choi over here, Doctor Hwang?"

"I… I don't know, sir."

"She also allegedly gave Kim Taeyeon sweets, sir." Officer Park added in.

"Oh...really?" Ho Sung crossed his arms over his chest. "You know, I thought you would learn by now, Doctor… This is not a place for soft hearts." Sure it isn't. They are all bunch of heartless scumbags. "How do you feel, Doctor Hwang, knowing that your almost killed an inmate in here for your gesture of kindness?" I clenched my teeth.

My eyes started to burn. I didn't reply. "And for that I can understand. I can understand why would you give food to Kim Taeyeon, Doctor. She's your patient, someone you grew very fond of. Everyone here at the Asylum knows how special Kim Taeyeon is to you. But tell me, Doctor… why would you give illegal food to Choi Sooyoung over here?" He raised his brows curiously.

I glanced over Sooyoung's side, looking at her, still a bit shocked by the bruises on her face. I could say it was because she asked me to. But to be honest, I was the one involving her in this mess. If I hadn't ask Sooyoung about Taeyeon and the incident with Yeri, none of us would be here. Everything just happened because I promised her food if she told me what I wanted to know. So it wasn't her fault.

I sighed, decided to actually tell the truth.

"Miss Choi once shared a cell with Kim Taeyeon. I asked her about my patient in order to know her better. She told me what I wanted to know and as an act of gratitude, I gave her macaroons." I finally said. "She's innocent, sir. She didn't do anything illegal. I did." I noticed Sooyoung widen her eyes.

"Are you aware of what you've done, Doctor? Are you aware of your acts and its consequences?"

"Yes, sir." I said nodding my head, looking at the floor under my feet. "I'm aware."

He nodded his head. "Guards, please take Choi back to her cell."

"What about the SHU, sir?" Officer Park asked.

"She won't be headed to the SHU today, officer. It seems all the trouble here was caused by Doctor Hwang herself." She pointed at me with his head. "So… I guess Choi is safe from that for now."

"Sir, may I have Sooyoung for a minute, please?" Yoona asked politely, I was still avoiding looking at her.

"Yes, sure, Doctor Lim. Suit yourself." He waved his hand off.

"Thank you, sir." Yoona helped Sooyoung to move and left the room, leaving me and Ho Sung behind.

"Thank you for sparing her from the SHU, sir." I said it.

He eye-smiled. I didn't like one bit. I hope that when I do it myself, my eye-smile doesn't look like that. There was a feeling of cruelty on it that I just felt goosebumps.

"I gotta say… Doctor Hwang… You surprise me day by day." He backed on his chair.

"Do I? Why?"

"We had several doctors assigned to treat Kim Taeyeon for all those years. Great doctors, you know. None of them could really help her." I frowned my brows. "But you… a rookie doctor who spent most of your time dealing with children and teens managed to control the inmate… why is that, Doctor Hwang?"

I frowned my brows. "I don't know, sir."

"Are you trying to defend your little inmate?"

"No!" I quickly answered. "I'm honored that I could control Kim Taeyeon the best… but I don't really know how I did it. As you said earlier, I don't have much experience and… Wait… if you always had doctors more experienced than I am, why did you chose to hire me?" I asked finding it weird.

"Two reasons. First, your cover letter was very well written I might say. You stated that you always had fascination to work with those people. I had no doubts that even if you didn't have much experience dealing with inmates, you would try your best to work here. It was a great opportunity to train you."

That offended me somehow. "Train me?"

"Well, when we hire doctors with much experience they already have their own standards and habits. It's difficult to work with them and sometimes they don't really fit in the Asylum's methods. We thought that you would make a great asset to our team because you never really worked in a penitentiary before and we could sharp you. We wanted to teach you our ways here at the Asylum."

That actually made sense. Most of places actually try looking for experienced people to hire because they don't want to spend time training them to fit their standards. However, because the Asylum always had experienced doctors and even so none of them could help Taeyeon, maybe having a not so experienced person could actually be a better option. In a way, yes, they were right, it was easier to mold fresh people to what they want than to mold already molded doctors.

But he was wrong. They wouldn't mold me to be one of them! "No offense, sir, but I would never fit in the Asylum's methods of treatment. I don't do tortures."

"Of course not, you're woman after all. Women have soft hearts." I didn't want to show I felt offended by it, but I guess he noticed because soon he added on. "Don't be offended, Doctor, that is a good thing. It is also one of reasons why you were hired. Because you're a woman."

"Excuse me?" I didn't quite understood why that was a reason.

"We always had shortage with females working here at the Asylum and statically speaking, the inmates who were under female doctors have showed a better improvement than with males. We pondered that the same could happen to Kim Taeyeon. She always had male doctors for some reason and they never really helped her. We thought a female could manage to understand her better, so...out of the candidates, you seemed the best option for us." I nodded my head, finally understanding it.

"And to be honest it seemed like you truly were." He continued. "Kim Taeyeon somehow managed to stay quiet throughout all this time, she barely had an episode. It's very impressive, Doctor. I never expected that you could handle that mad woman so well." I looked away feeling uncomfortable. "But… sadly your time here with us seemed to finally come to an end."

I gulped. That was it. It's over. "You broke many rules here which are impossible to overlook Doctor. Beyond that, your actions led to almost kill an inmate." I nodded feeling like swords have been stabbed through my chest. "I'm sorry to inform you… but you're fired."

I tried not to cry in front of him. I didn't want to look weak. "You may bid farewell to your colleagues if so you desire." I nodded, not doing anything else than just gulping. "Thank you for you service here with us but… as of today, you no longer are a member of our team. I wish you luck on your future endeavors though." I nodded again in gratitude. "You may leave now, Doctor Hwang."

I took a bow and left the room, numbed by the all the feelings rushing in. As a matter of fact, I knew I was about to be fired, I took the risk of it when I stepped it up and told all those officers what I've been doing. It shouldn't be surprising. However, it still leaves a bitter taste on your mouth to be fired. The bitter taste was even bitter for what Seohyun actually said to me.

"You're not allowed to get in." Her voice was firm and serious stopping me just by the door.

All I wanted was to walk in that room for one last time. "Seohyun, please!"

"No. I'm sorry, but you were very irresponsible, Doctor Hwang." I lowered my head, ashamed of myself.

"I know… I just..."

"And you lied to me." She added on disappointed.

"I'm sorry..."

"I promise you Kim Taeyeon will continue to be under observation… but for safety reasons, you are not allowed to get in."

I gulped hard, knowing that Seohyun wouldn't really let me in. She may be kind but she also was very professional and mature for her own age. Different from me, Seohyun would never ever break the rules. I know that no matter what I do or say, she won't allow me to see Taeyeon one more time.

"I'm really sorry..." I muttered. I bowed to her and turn myself around. Ho Sung told me I could bid my farewells… and out of all people, I really think I should talk to Yuri before leaving.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" She spatted out angrily.

"Yuri..."

"I can't believe I trusted you… all this time… ALL THIS TIME, you..."

"I'm sorry! I-"

"Why?" She asked turning to me. "Why didn't you follow what I said?"

I shrugged. "I thought you were being a dick." I replied honestly. "All officers in here treated her so badly, so meanly, I thought you were just like them."

"We are not the enemies, Doctor."

I sighed. "I know." I closed my eyes and sat on an empty chair. "And I don't want to look at you as one. I know the officers gotta be strict and tough in order to keep the residents under control. I know their authority is important and it's almost impossible to let them not be influenced by it. But being in touch with Taeyeon and Irene for that long made me realize that they are not my enemies either." I felt her eyes on me. "I know you don't believe her. I know she's lied to you, cheated on you, but...Taeyeon… She's...not what she seems..."

"She's fooling you, Doctor." I felt my heart beat faster and I tried to ignore it.

"There were times where… I could feel… I could feel she was in pain. You know that day when it was raining?" I asked still with my eyes closed. She didn't answer me but I suspected she ended up nodding her head. "She was so different that day. She was lighthearted, I never seen her like that before. And after finding out that Dr. Young used to torture her, all I wanted was to see her like that again. All I wanted was Taeyeon to trust me. So I gave her gummy worms."

"Gummy worms?"

"Yes, gummy worms. You know, those gummies shaped as worms and covered in sug..."

"I know gummy worms!" She backed up quickly. "Seriously? Out of all candies you could give her, you picked gummy worms? No wonder she almost had a heart attack! That thing has so much sugar in it could lead you to a diabetic coma!"

"I didn'tt quite think about it to be honest." As I was fired, I don't think I need to hide anything else any more. So I decided to tell the truth to Yuri. "Taeyeon said once that gummy worms is her childhood food. So, I brought her gummy worms. I didn't think it could lead me to so much trouble…"

"I can't believe you did that." I opened my eyes at last, looking at Yuri beside me. "She was using you, Doctor… She wanted to know how far you would go to do what she wants. After that, she would ask you for other stuff and you wouldn't be able to say no."

I blinked. I guess it could be a possibility. "I don't know. She never asked me for anything else after that. She was actually helping me."

"Helping you?"

"Helping me understand her better. I know a few things about her… I know that she has a scar on her right ankle… that she likes rainy days, that she loves drawing… Have you ever seen her drawings?" I asked curiously. "It's amazing, really." "And I know all of these things aren't lies. I know that she is hurt and that she needs help to overcome it. I spent my time trying to do that, because if I could help Taeyeon...then.. it meant she wouldn't need to be in pain anymore." With no shame on me, I left out a silent tear. "And even though she had been tortured by Doctor Young, I feel like that was nothing compared to the pain she really feels inside."

"How can you tell she is not lying?"

"I can't." I said honestly. "I can't tell. I just feel it. Because if Taeyeon needs to lie, I don't think she would do it crying like she did. She likes to be seen as tough and a fearless crazy ass bitch." That made Yuri chuckle. "Crying is a sign of weakness for her… and to cry in front of me – someone whom she always takes as a rookie doctor – is utterly embarrassing." Yuri and I stood in silence for a while.

"I still think she is lying." I understood her. Putting myself on her shoes, it'd be really hard for me to trust Taeyeon's words after what she did.

"I'm sorry, Yuri." I apologized making her look at me. "I know you are still angry with me." Even though I could notice Yuri was calmer, I knew she was upset with the situation.

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with her." I frowned my brows. "She did it again. Her _witchcraft."_

"I'm sorry." I apologized again. "I did what you always told me not to. I got closer to her."

"What's gonna happen now?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. It's really strange to think that as of tomorrow I won't be coming to the Asylum."

"Yeah… I should get used to it. But I always have a bitter taste on my mouth upon seeing someone leaving."

I left out another tear. Yuri made me stand up and gave me a bear hug. "You know...out of all people I saw leaving this place, you're the only one I see crying."

"I'm gonna miss it."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Doc."

"We can still see each other." I said resting my head over her shoulder. "You know my place, if you need to talk or anything… just go...and I'll be there. Okay?" She nodded.

"Thank you, Doc."

"I'm not a doc in here anymore, you can call me Tiffany."

"Thank you, Tiffany." She corrected herself. We stood in silence again for a while. Well, at least I haven't lost everything. I still had Yuri.

As I walked outside, I breathed in the fresh air of the outdoors, and weirdly enough I wasn't feeling as free as I should. I was out of that Asylum, I was out of that place surrounded by criminals, yet all I was feeling was pain.

I increased my distance from the place I was leaving behind. I now needed to start again, a new job in a new place. My steps got slower, I began to drag my feet. Many times I looked back. There was that overwhelming urge to run back, to not leave her alone in that place, to not leave Yuri alone in that place… But now it's over. I'm fired. I no longer work at the Asylum. I now need to look up for a new job and hope for my records not being stained by what I done.

Maybe I could try go back to my previous job. I was there for over two years. I could talk to Bora and Nicole… we were kinda close and as far as I know they are still working there. However, I know that Taeyeon would still stay in my thoughts for a good long time. It's not easy to erase her, to erase a person like her.

As I reached my car and saw Yoona following after me, tears flooded my eyes as I opened it up and sat inside. Quickly I tried to conceal most of the sadness and the guilt from my face by wiping the tears from my cheeks but Yoona saw it all. She immediately sat down on the passenger side while I shut the door of the car.

"I'm sorry..." I said in sobs. She was speechless, not knowing whether to comfort me, or just not talk about it at all.

"You want me to drive?" She asked after a while. I shook my head but who I was kidding? I was not in condition to really drive. Yoona took the matter into her hands and even after I denied her suggestion, she opened the door and got up to switch places with me. "I'll drive you home, Tiffany… C'mon..."

As soon as she looked at me with those deep, brown, empathetic eyes, everything came flowing out once more. I decided to listen to her. Yoona was always more professional than I was, so I should really obey to what she says. I got up, finally sitting on the passenger's side. As she started driving, I kept looking back at the prison, at the building that housed my favorite patient. It only tore my heart out completely. Would I ever see Taeyeon once again? Would I ever see her free, outside those gray cold walls? Would I ever see her without that orange outfit? I don't know. And probably I never will.

I tried very hard not to let the tears fall again, I didn't want to seem weak in front of Yoona. And even though my head was turned away from her, a quiet sniff accused me. Almost immediately, I felt a soft touch on my thigh patting up and down in an attempt to comfort me.

"You know..." She started saying it carefully. "I kinda suspected you were the one who gave Kim Taeyeon those sweets. That didn't surprised me at all." I gulped hard. "What I didn't suspect was that you were giving Sooyoung macaroons."

"I'm sorry about that." I stuttered. Sooyoung was physically hurt because of me.

"I'm not mad at you." She shook her head. I looked at her, wondering how that was possible. "Sooyoung told me what happened. I think what you've done was very admirable. I mean, yes it was very wrong of you to smuggle food, but many doctors would have stayed silent upon seeing that and let others have the blame. You didn't. It was really brave of you."

"It was a mistake. I've could killed Taeyeon. If she -"

"She's alright now, Tiffany. Don't dwell on 'ifs'. It's not healthy. And I'm pretty sure Kim Taeyeon herself doesn't blame you for anything." In fact she really doesn't.

"How do you know that?"

"She asked you for those sweets, didn't she? She was aware that could be dangerous… she knew the risks involved…She knew if you were found smuggling her sweets, you'd be in trouble… Yet she didn't care." I turned my head away, looking out through the window.

" _You know this can lead you into trouble, doesn't it?"_ I remembered her saying it. " _You better be alright, toots. I don't want any other doctor."_

My tears quickly streamed down again. My sobs just getting higher and higher. Yoona was so worried that she parked the car almost immediately.

"Tiffany? What's the matter?" She asked squeezing my thigh. "What's wrong?"

"W-What I've d-done, Yoona?"

"Tiffany?"

" _Don't go."_

" _Where to?"_

" _Away."_

" _I won't."_

I couldn't speak properly, my sobs just getting in the way of my words. I felt Yoona's hand moving up and now they ended up caressing my back.

"Tiffany..."

"I..i promised..." Never was so hard for me to speak. "I p-promised… I promised her I wouldn't… go… away..." Yoona sighed and instantly hugged me tightly. I sniffed, feeling my nose runny. "I left...her...alone..." I closed my eyes, I stopped trying to wipe my tears at that time. I already knew it was useless. "I'm not a liar, Yoona… I'm not..." I felt Yoona crying with me as well, her hands moving up and down softly on my back. "Yet I lied… I lied to her..."

"You didn't lie to her, Tiffany. You didn't know. What happened was just… a misfortune..." I shook my head.

"I…"

"You didn't do it on purpose..."

"I..."

"Shh… it's okay. She will understand… She knows it's not your fault."

"I… I di..didn't..even… say g-good bye..." My words just turned to croaks.

"Tiffany..."

"She… will wake up… and..."

"C'mon, calm down. Calm down." I breathed in. "Don't think about this, ok? It's only making it worse."

What I've done? I should have stayed in silence! I should have been quiet all along. I threw it all away by doing that. The right thing to do? Admirable? My ass! I lost Irene. I lost Seohyun. I lost the Asylum. I lost Taeyeon. All of them I decided to throw it away because Sooyoung was being beat up like that… To save one inmate, one that it wasn't even my own patient, I given up patients of my own who was trusting me better than anyone. For one inmate only, I fucked up my career; I fucked up my life. Stupid Tiffany!

"Shh...it's okay. Everything's alright." Yoona said comforting me.

"I..."

"Let's go home… shall we?"

I nodded my head.

"C'mon, Tiffany, don't cry no more, okay? It's alright." She smiled gently, wiping her tears as well.

Another silence... She still had her hand up on my thigh and that cemented Yoona in my heart. She helped me so much throughout my entire time at the Asylum – she has always been kind and sweet – and this is the second time already she helps me by giving me support and driving me off home. I kinda felt I needed to do something to show how much she meant to me but I ended up not doing anything else other than holding her hand. I guess she knew my state didn't allow me to do much other than weep, but I was hoping she could feel my genuine feeling of gratitude towards her.

She started driving again and the furthest I was from the Asylum, the more the tears flooded my eyes.

If three months ago, you have came to me and say I will cry my heart out because of a crazy ass woman named Kim Taeyeon I would laugh at you. But here I am, completely destroyed by the fact that I won't see her anymore. Even if we met for a short period of time, she tamed me that way. It's amazing how a person we once never knew it exists, now it becomes so important to us.

I won't be seeing her anymore. I won't be talking to her anymore. I guess I need to do what I did to Nichkhun. Even if it hurts… I guess now it's time to forget and move on.

It's time to let her go.

* * *

The day ended with Yoona, Yuri and I slumped over in the living room. Yoona refused to leave upon seeing my condition, and later at night Yuri showed up, trying to make me feel a little bit better with a few drinks.

Yoona decided not to drink and it was the right choice as she wouldn't have to work with a monster of hangover unlike Yuri. Poor Yuri. I realized maybe she gone drinking with me was another escape from the words said by Officer Soyeon who she had met a few days ago.

I was heartbroken to be fired but I sure was glad that Yoona and Yuri were with me. They could easily hate me for everything I did, but they didn't. We became closer to each other and I will always cherish them with all my heart. It made me feel better that Yoona and Yuri said they would call me to hang out with them on weekends occasionally.

What broke my heart for days was the fact that I wouldn't see Taeyeon nevermore.

Even after a week, I was still crying that I was so far away from her. I was unemployed and depressed. It makes you feel like a dump of shit to be honest. And I don't even know how, but I could see Taeyeon everywhere. Whenever my eyes would rest upon some gummy worms bags or even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it was all it took to me to remember her. Sometimes at night, the memories of what I did to one of my pillows would hit me like a tidal wave and even with me disgusted at myself, I would do it again.

And like this the days passed. I tried my best to be surrounded myself with the positive things. I started taking some yoga classes and I was enthusiastic about at first, but after two weeks, I ended up dropping it.

I hadn't heard anything about Taeyeon's well being whatsoever. Even when I tried talking to Yuri about it she would just say she is alright and change the subject quickly as possible. Everything was a mystery and although I desired the information, I also respected the fact that Yuri doesn't really like Taeyeon. Soon enough, my encounters with Yuri and Yoona started to get scarcer. Last time I had seen Yuri, I could notice she was avoiding the issue like hell. And every time we would talk about the Asylum, she would quickly interrupted me. It was easy to see she was hiding something from me, but I respected her silence the best way I could.

Now sitting down at my dining room table, the thoughts of what could have happened began to spiral around in my head, making the desire to know almost too much to bear. Minutes passed and all I did was stare at my phone, wondering if I should call Yoona now...She could tell me what I wanted to know.

Finally deciding to bite the bullet, I proceeded to ring her, saying "Hello" just as I heard her voice through the phone.

"Hey, Tiffany… How are you?" She asked.

"Same old." I replied honestly. "I just called to know about...

"Kim Taeyeon…" I heard her sigh. "I'm sorry, Tiffany… I have no information regarding Kim Taeyeon, I told you this before… I'm not her doctor. I can't give you what you want."

I gulped, feeling a tear roam down. "I just want to know if she is alright. You can do that can't you? Go to her doctor, whoever it is now, and ask him/her…"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm sorry… Things are complicated..." That made me frown my brows.

"Complicated?"

"Hm. The only person who can tell you what you want is Officer Yuri, ask her."

She doesn't want to tell me. I thought bitterly to myself. "Yeah...I might try do that later."

"Oh… I'm sorry, Tiffany, but I can't really help you with this."

"Ok… Thanks, anyway." I said turning my phone off after we said goodbye.

My brain was engulfed in thoughts, scenarios and feelings and all I wanted to do was scream. Why was it so hard for them to tell me what is going on? I just wanted a confirmation that she was alright. That she and Irene were alright. But no… no news! Zilch! I sighed, getting up from the table and going to my bedroom.

As I heard my phone vibrating I tried to grab it with my eyes closed still. As I got it, I opened my lids and my blurry vision read the name of the person calling me. It was Bora. I grunted and pressed answer on my phone.

"Hello..."

"Wakey wakey, Sleepy beauty!" She said excitedly.

"What do you want?"

"Aish, Tiff, this is how you treat me?" I grunted again. "Haha… I have good news for you, pinky pig… Nicole and I talked to Doctor Jeong to hire you back and though he said he can't do that straight out of the bat, he got an interview for you to get in."

I blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah. You will be interviewed by Doctor Park Shinyang, she's new here, but I don't think you will have any trouble with it. Just get dressed already because the interview is due to start at 10 am."

I looked at the clock checking the time. 8:25. Yeah, I should get ready as soon as possible.

"I'll get ready now, thank you Bora! Thank you very much!" I thanked her.

"You're welcome unemployed pig."

"Yah, shut up!"

"See you soon, Tiff." And with her giggles echoing the line went dead. I blinked looking at my phone.

A new job interview. Well, as much as I would love to run back to where Taeyeon was right now, there was no turning back. I had to move on with my life. Even if it meant to go back to the place I used to be before everything started.

And so the weeks came and went. I was settled, with a job that even though it wasn't as challenging as the Asylum, it was still a good job. It helped I had Nicole and Bora still there so it was easy to be fully active on my works again. Some staff I knew was long gone, but in the end, it didn't change much from when I moved to Lee Soo Man Asylum. Of course that now being back to that place gave me strong nostalgia feelings and I even had shed some tears as soon as I saw some of the kids look genuinely happy I was back.

So my job was going down the path it should go and I felt like I belonged… however, there was always a missing piece. Every day it was the same, I smiled, conversed and did my job to my best ability but there was always something that wasn't quite right. I felt like I lost something very important to me and now I couldn't work properly without that thing. A tiny voice used to whisper me to go home. Go home didn't meant my place, that I was sure. It meant somewhere else, someone else.

I'd find myself thinking of her often as I walked the grounds and the corridors of the hospital... If I were to see a kid solving a rubik's cube I'd think " _She would've done that."_ If I were to see someone telling a joke, " _I wonder if Taeyeon would_ _laugh at_ _that_."

It became obvious that just erasing her from my mind would be impossible. It's been over one month since I've been fired from the Asylum and she was still there, not close whatsoever to be gone from my life.

DING DONG!

I heard the door bell ringing. I grunted as I was comfortably on my couch watching a documentary about a Korean serial killer. I sighed a bit angry with the interruption and I rose from the couch and walked to the door, instantly opening it expecting to see either Bora or Yuri.

"What the hell do you wan-

But my eyes frowned when I saw a completely different person. I cleaned my throat and felt my heart pound faster in embarrassment. It was a short female, fully covered with a burbery black coat, thick gloves and a hat protecting her from the winter outside. I blinked a couple of times unsure of what to say. I decided to apologize for my rude behavior.

"I'm sorry about that…. I thought it was somebody else." I said still with my cheeks pinkish due to my second hand embarrassment.

"Are you expecting someone else?" She asked slightly concerned.

"I uh...actually...no. Not at all." I shook my head.

"Good then." She said taking off her winter hat and bowing to me before walking into my house. I frowned.

"Uh… Excuse me...Do I… Do I know you?" I asked trying not to sound rude.

"Oh, Pardon my bad-manners." She bowed again. "I'm Lee Soon Kyu. Nice to meet you, Doctor Hwang." My eyes opened a tad wider. Lee Soon Kyu… Wasn't she Lee Soo Man's niece? What was she doing here?

I bowed to her. "Nice to meet you, Miss Lee."

"I'm sorry to come in such a hurry and with no previous warning." She tried explain herself.

"It's okay, don't worry. Is everything okay?" I asked concerned, long forgetting about the documentary on TV.

She looked at me and sighed, twisting her lips. "It's… uh…"

"Complicated?" I guessed. She nodded her head. "Would you like some hot choco?" I offered upon seeing we would have a long conversation.

"I'd love to." We smiled to each other. I poured some hot chocolate for her and she took her time to sit on the dining table. I did the same, just turning the TV off before sitting just in front of hers.

My heart was beating faster by the second as the silence was getting longer and longer. I finally decided to start a conversation. "How can I help you, Miss Lee?"

She raised her eyes up to me. "I was told you were Kim Taeyeon's doctor..." My heart just pounded harder.

"I uh… yes… I was..." - What was the meaning of that conversation? Was Taeyeon alright? Did she had another heart attack? Did she die? Jesus Christ, all the scenarios on my head… it was just making me anxious.

"I know you have moved on with your life by now, after all, it's been months since you left the Asylum… however..." She got quiet for a while. It made me want to scream… just tell me woman! However… "You're our last resort."

"Last resort?" I asked not understanding what that meant. She sighed.

"Kim Taeyeon is not taking it so well the fact the you are no longer working for us at the Asylum." I gulped. "Ever since she found out you were fired, she's been in a killing spree."

"Killing spree?"

"She killed most of her doctors who had replaced you. And the ones who she couldn't kill were severely injured." I felt my stomach get sick. She bent down and opened her bag, from which she took a black small tape and a record machine. She put them on the table and upon inserting the tape inside the machine, she pressed play.

I heard a male voice coming through it and instantly I recognized as belonging to Ho Sung.

" _G-good afternoon,_ _my name is Doctor…"_

" _OH, quit the crap, you bloody Ho! Don't act like if I didn't know you, you shitty coward._ I heard her voice, my heart pounding harder as I finally heard the voice I was missing so bad.

" _Why don't you send all those officers off from here? Are you scared of me, Ho Sung?"_

" _No."_

" _You know, w_ _e would be much more comfortable just the two of us… with some privacy…"_ She laughed off. There was something different in her voice that I didn't know what it was.

" _Skip the jokes, this is important!"_ I could notice he was getting nervous.

" _IS IT? I have a feeling you don't know what is really important,_ _Doc."_

" _How so?"_

" _You promised me you'd give me another doctor."_

" _Maybe you shouldn't have killed the one I sent last week. What made you do it?"_

" _You said you would give MY doctor. And it wasn't my doctor. You lied to me. And you know...Ho Sung… I hate when people lie to me."_

" _You killed an innocent man!"_

" _Oh yes, and it was worth to see the look on his face. Hey, you know what… I think I have got a piece of it here in my pocket! Do you want to check_ _it out?"_

" _You're trying my patience. It's the third doctor you've killed."_

" _Well, keep on sending 'em, Doc. I'm trying to break my record."_

" _Why don't you help yourself, Kim?"_

" _Oh, I am helping myself, Ho Sung! I'm_ _trying to have fun here once in a while. We all need some escapism… or we would go crazy."_

" _This is your last warning, Kim. Stop killing the doctors I'm sending you."_

" _Just send the right one, Sung."_

" _You think you can get away with this killing spree of yours? Flashing news! You can't!"_

" _Why did get rid of my doctor to put all those pieces of shit in her place?"_

" _She broke the rules."_

" _And here lies the man who obeys to them all! You hear, gentlemen? The voice of the ultimate truth?"_ She laughed out sarcastically.

" _Shut up!"_

" _You should shut up, Ho Sung. And you also should shut your pants, or you might have lose something you're very fond of."_ Ho Sung got quiet after that. I wondered what was the look on his face when he heard that.

" _You know how many people I've killed,_ _don't you, you pussy hoe? And, you know… after a while, it becomes easier and easier. It's like blinking your eyes, really… you don't even notice you done it. So here's the thing, Doc... if you want to make sure I won't do it to you, stop poking your nose into mine..."_

There was a couple of seconds of silence before I could hear her voice again. " _Oh, and send me my Doc, Doc...I think I need a second opinion."_

After that the tape stopped moving, indicating the interview was over. I was still trying to convey what the hell I had listened. It didn't sound like the Taeyeon I knew at all.

"This was her last interview." Lee Soon Kyu finally spoke. "And that was three weeks ago."

That's quite a while. "She's locked to the SHU ever since." I gulped. Three weeks straight in the SHU? Dear Lord…

"Now the Asylum is facing some lawsuits from the families of the doctors she killed. Their wives are taking this issue into court and they are asking for the Asylum to be closed." What? I was not expecting that! "The court gave us an ultimatum. If any other strike occurs, if Kim Taeyeon kills any other person, the Asylum will be closed and she will be put down."

"Put down?" I blinked, feeling faint. "Like… execution?"

She nodded. "Warden Ho Sung wants to execute her as soon as possible to prevent the asylum from be closed down. Uncle Lee is the one who has to give him the word to do it and he's ready to say yes." I couldn't focus on what I was hearing. No! This is impossible! This is not supposed to happen! Please, no! "Officer Kwon Yuri however told me you could help." I blinked.

"What?"

"She told me Kim Taeyeon trusts you enough." I didn't know what to say to that. "So… Doctor Hwang, I'm here to give you the chance to come back to the Asylum." I was in shock. I was running out of breath. "You would be assigned to be Kim Taeyeon's doctor and her only doctor, no one's else. You would take care of her 24/7 and we are willing to give all assistance you need."

My mouth just got dry and I started to sweat, completely nervous, just about to have a breakdown. "You're our last resort to try saving that inmate. So if you are willing to accept it, just tell me and you're hired back. If you don't wanna do it, we will follow the orders of execution."

Execution. Execution. Execution.

Those words kept echoing in my head. No. I shook my head. No. That's impossible. Taeyeon executed? She's so young, she's got so much to live… She can't die. She can't!

"Very well..." Lee Soon Kyu sighed raising from the table. I looked at her dumbfounded. "I will inform Uncle Lee that execution will be."

What? No! Wait! HELL, TIFFANY, SAY SOMETHING!

"NO!" I shouted nervously getting up from my chair and spilling the chocolate on the floor. "D-Don't!" She blinked looking at me with her phone at her hand. "I accept it!" I said not thinking about it twice. I couldn't let Taeyeon be executed! Hell no! "I will take care of her! I will take care of Kim Taeyeon!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She nodded her head, keeping her phone inside her pockets. I exhaled completely relieved.

"We want you to be back at the Asylum as fast you as you can." I nodded my head.

"Yeah, sure."

"Can we count on you on next Monday?"

Monday. It made me smile. Oh the good old Mondays. "Yeah, sure. Next Monday it is."

"We are looking forward to it, Doctor Hwang. Tomorrow we can negotiate your salary."

Honestly, to go back and take care of Kim Taeyeon I'd do it for free. But I was glad I was earning some paychecks from it. Bora would hate me though for leaving her again. But I couldn't say no to this. I couldn't pretend this is not important. Kim Taeyeon is on the risk of being killed and I am the one who could stop it. All I needed to do was to go back and take care of her. Now with the aid of being her only doctor and watch her 24/7.

This is my time to help Yuri get the position of Warden from Ho Sung! This is my time to show them all that a proper treatment is better than torture. This is my time to show that Kim Taeyeon can be helped! More importantly, this is my time to show how good I am as a doctor.

And that now I won't do wrong anymore.

Taeyeon's life was on my hands… and I will make her live on.

* * *

The chilling chain between the handcuffs were against my neck and I was feeling asphyxiated. "T-T-Taeyeon…."

"You lied to me." Her icy cold voice echoed in my ears. "And you know...Doc… I hate when people lie to me."

"I...I'm s-sorry..."

"Are you? Tell me, Doctor, how do you think I felt when I woke up and you were gone?" Tears started to roam down my face.

"I..." She pressed the chain harder against my throat.

"You promised me you wouldn't leave...and you lied." My body started to spasm trying to grasp some air. "You lied to me. I thought you were different. Out of all the doctors I had, I really thought you were different, but you are just like everyone else."

"N-No...I'm n-ot."

"Liar."

"Tae-yeon...P-please...I..." There was only one thought in my head and that was… 'I'm gonna die.'

"You didn't even say goodbye..."

"Tae..yeon..."

"I told you, didn't I? Everybody lies. Everybody lies… to me..."

"Tae….yeon..."

"Well, no more, Doctor! No more!"

"Tae..."

"Because now I'll kill them all..." I heard her laughter.

"..."

"Goodbye, Doctor..."

I woke up suddenly, shivering from the dream I had. My heart was beating like crazy and I was sweating like a pig. I never had a dream where I 'died' before, and it was terrifying how real it seemed. I could still feel the metal chain around my throat and her icy words as she was choking me to death.

I got up from my bed went to the bathroom to wash my face. I wiped it with a towel and I stared into my reflection on the mirror.

How is she gonna react when she finally sees me? Would she really kill me like in my dream? Would she try to hurt me? She's been in a killing spree and I never heard of her doing that before… would she stops upon seeing me? " _Officer Kwon Yuri told me she trusts you enough."_ Does she? The thing is… I don't really know.

I mean, yes, that what I want to believe… I want to believe that she trusts me… that _we are indeed friends._ But… " _Think about it Tiffany..."_ Yoona's words rung in my ears. " _She hasn't showed her actual personality. She showed a personality you would fall for. She doesn't want you to be far from her because she knows she's got you. She's gotten into your head like no other doctor ha_ _d_ _. Kim Taeyeon is lying to you, making you believe she's_ _not a bad person so you can like her."_

My chest started to burn and my nostril dilated, angry with that thought. My fists clenched.

" _She's got what she always wanted… a doctor who she could manipulate as she pleased, a doctor to get her out of here. You are the perfect option, easy to approach, friendly personality… and_ _all_ _she just needs to do is to make you laugh at her stupid jokes and pretend she's a poor unfortunate soul in need for support and caring."_ Pain shot through my head as my tears fell one by one upon remembering what Yuri had told me once before.

What if what they are saying is truth? What if everything I believe about Taeyeon is a lie? What if Taeyeon is just playing with my feelings?

" _It's alright, Doc. I like you better than gummy worms."_ I grabbed a clump of my hair and squeezed while wincing at the pure torture inflicted by these thoughts. How am I supposed to know her real personality? Picking up from her last interview tape, she sounds so different. She sounds cold, dangerous...mad. She had never showed me that side of hers before and even when that time when she was headed to the SHU, she was just _pretending it._ I never really saw Taeyeon having one of her episodes. I never knew how she would behave. That killing spree of hers… is she doing out of her episodes of violence or…

" _Why did you kill Yeri?"_

" _Because I wanted to." Was it_ just because she wants to? I didn't know. I couldn't know.

What if she _wants_ to kill me? What if she has an episode and kills me during in it? I never felt so clueless in my entire life. What am I supposed to do? To let go of my safe job and go back to Asylum to take care of an inmate who might kill me? How all the _"You will also take care 24/7_ " is gonna be? Is that really safe? Must I stay all the time, 24/7, at the Asylum? And like...sleeping alongside her in her cell?

I cried and smashed the mirror to bits, having pieces of glass scattered on the ground. The back of my fingers started oozing blood. I was close to have a mental breakdown.

Did I really do good upon agreeing with that shit?

I retreated until my back hit the nearest wall while my feet collapsed from under me. With my eyesight now completely blurred from the tears, I brought my knees in to my chest and let out a shaky breath.

The feelings were too much, they were asphyxiating me, eating me alive, as thoughts, situations and talks were passing through my head like a hurricane. My heart skipped a beat when I remembered that day under the rain and her ultimate breakdown. That was what sold me Taeyeon as not 'what-she-seems-to-be" kinda of vibe. That was when I grasped a bit of the pain she feels inside… and that's what was making me wish to go back, to finally obey my whispers and 'go back home'.

I could still say no. I could call Lee Soon Kyu and tell her I changed my mind. And Taeyeon…

...Taeyeon… _would be executed. Dead_.

" _She doesn't_ _wake up_ _… I don't what happened Doctor… She doesn'_ _t move."_ Snot started to come out from my nostrils.

" _You're not one of them. You're a good person, Doc. You have a good heart. Don't... let the asylum break it."_

Taeyeon…

" _I'm sorry… I promise I won't do the same mistake again."_

" _Please, don't go."_

" _Where to?"_

" _Away..."_

" _I won't." "I promise."_

And as just tears and more tears roam down my face, flashing memories of me and Taeyeon together made me sob hard. I was convinced I was going crazy, arguing within my own mind.

And though I knew I had to sleep and rest, I couldn't. I spent the whole night thinking about my situation and by the time I had to talk to Lee Soon Kyu again, I was still in doubt of what my answer would be.

"Are you alright, Doctor Hwang?" Lee Soon Kyu asked upon seeing me stop before signing the contract.

"I..." I left out a tear. "I'm not sure… if I..."

"If you..."

"Can...help...her…" She twisted her lips.

"You want to step back?" She asked and I looked away. "We are willing to count you on with this, but it's up to you… so if you feel you can't do it… then… we'll proceed to our plan B." Plan B = Execution.

"Care of her 24/7… is that really safe?"

"No." She shook her head, taking another gulp of her cappuccino. "We are aware of the risks involved. But if it's true that Kim Taeyeon trusts you then it becomes safe for us to have you watch her 24/7."

"What about my privacy? I need good nights of sleep and..."

"Very well, then." She quickly replied. "You may have your nights if you wish." I nodded a little bit more relieved. I sighed looking at the dotted line I had to sign. "Is there anything else you wish?" My fingers were around the pen just about to write my name on it.

"Yoona… _do you who is that woman talking to Taeyeon?"_

" _That's Lee Soon Kyu._ _She's actually Lee Sooman's niece. She often comes here to check how things are going. Some say she gives personal reports back to her uncle."_

" _Why is she talking to Taeyeon?"_

" _Whenever she comes here she takes her time to speak with some of the residents. Seems like today was Kim Taeyeon's turn."_

" _But I thought inmates in the SHU were isolated all times."_

" _They are. But when the niece of the chairman demands to talk with one of them, it no longer matters if they are in the SHU or not."_

I blinked raising my eyes to the short woman before me. "Something wrong?"

"May I ask you something?" She frowned her brows confused but nodded anyways. "Once, I saw you talking to Kim Taeyeon…"

"Yes..."

"Are you guys familiar with each other?"

"No...I often talk to some of the inmates."

"Yeah, Doctor Lim told me that. It's just that I found weird you talking to an inmate who was in the SHU in that particular day… especially someone who is widely regarded to be dangerous…" She squinted her eyes.

"I don't know what you mean..."

"Though Taeyeon killed several people during her time at the Asylum, you were still pretty chilled with her. And even now… when she is just about to be executed… you decide to come to me to 'save' her…Your uncle, Mr. Lee Soo Man is in still in charge of some of the decisions, right? And you told me he's ready to give the word for her execution… So why he would wait for your call to say yes? Why would he listen to you before giving the authorization to her execution?"

"We at the Asylum don't like our prisoners to be executed."

"Thinking about money, it makes much more sense though." I replied. "You waste money in her medication and treatment, and every time she kills a doctor or an officer, you must give indemnities to their families, isn't that right?" She didn't say anything this time. "So… my question is… why do you want to save Taeyeon? Why are you willing to hire me back and have the risk of Taeyeon go killing someone else again other than shut her down and spare all the trouble?"

"I just told you… we don't want our prisoners to be executed. The Asylum believes everyone can be cured with the right treatment." I found funny how she said that giving the fact that the Asylum still uses electrifying weapons.

"Why does it seem you are doing everything you can to save Taeyeon?" I asked frowning my brows. "Clearly, Ho Sung wants to kill her as soon as possible, just like your uncle. But you are here...willing to give all the assistance I need to take care of her… why? Why Taeyeon is important to you?"

"Why is she important to you?" She retorted, taking me surprised. I gulped anxious.

"She is not..."

"You call her by her first name… and You were sounded desperate to save her from her fate… why is that?"

"I..."

"Why would Kim Taeyeon trusts you enough when she never had trusted any other doctor of hers?"

"I don't… know..."

"You don't? Didn't giving her gummy worms help you in the process?" I gulped guilty. "Why did you do that?"

I looked away. "Why did you give her candy?"

"She asked me to." I said honestly. I let go of the pen, feeling my hand all sweaty.

"She asked you to?"

"Yes. She asked me to. I didn't feel like it could be a problem and I gave her some." I felt her gaze intensify.

"That was contraband. It's illegal."

"It made her trust me." I blurted out. "I guess..."

I blinked when I heard her giggle. "Is that it? That's all it took for her to trust you? A bag of gummy worms?"

"We are both females, about the same age… I wasn't torturing her…and gave her candy… yeah…that's all."

"I guess it suits her." She muffled a laughter and I squinted not understanding what she meant. "Let's do this way, Doctor Hwang… You sign this paper and I will tell you why Kim Taeyeon is important to me." My heart beat completely out of pace. "Besides, don't act like if you didn't really want to save her. I know what you did at the Asylum and how you gave a shit to our rules in order to help Kim Taeyeon… so don't be a cocky doctor trying to impress me with this smart-ass attitude because I know you're not what you sound." She spoke in a serious voice. Well, one can say she could give her point really well.

I exhaled, and finally decided to sign the contract.

Now. That was it. No turning back anymore.

"Welcome to my place, Doctor Hwang."

She opened her arms as soon as she walked inside her apartment. My eyes instantly grew wider as I saw thousands of pieces of papers, pictures, magazines and articles about criminals pinned on her walls. What the... fuck? That was some sort of shrine of criminals stories and news? Was that woman crazy? She giggled as she saw the look on my face upon seeing her collection.

"Yep… I love criminal stories. And I don't mean novels." I blinked still dumbfounded. "I mean real stories. Real criminals." I wasn't able to speak. "I know it's hella creepy seeing a short female like myself so into these horror stories. But I genuinely like them. I always did. I find fascinating." Well, to be honest, I always liked as well. I guess it wasn't in that _extent._

"This is..."

"Crazy. I know. Many guys already broke up with me because of this." Jesus, I really never seen something like that before. "That's why I like talking to the inmates." My eyes quickly traveled from an old newspaper on the wall to her eyes. "I want to know more about themselves. How they do it? What they feel? What made them get into it? Sometimes I ask them to describe their killings… It makes my heart flutters!"

This… This is not what I was expecting from this girl. "Uncle Lee asked many times for me to stop going to the Asylum, he said it ain't a place for girls. But I can't help it. I really can't."

"Have you ever thought about having criminology classes?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, but Uncle Lee is against it. Once he knew about me trying to meet G-Dragon and he got super angry."

"G-Dragon?"

"He's the leader of one of the biggest gangs of Seoul. He has so many followers it's ridiculous. His cartel is huge, and not only talking about drug traffic, he has some of the best hitmen working under his net. He's pretty famous in the crime scene… if you ask about him to any inmate at the Asylum they all know him. There are even some inmates on the Asylum who worked for him. I disguised myself and convinced one of his lings to let me get into his grovel one day, but Uncle Lee locked me up, forbidding me from going. After that, he gave me one condition… I wouldn't go looking for criminals who were running free on the streets and I could go to the Asylum anytime I wanted. As the inmates are handcuffed they can't really hurt me. I felt it was a fair trade and I accepted it."

"Wow..." That's all I could say, she giggled slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah… I know it is crazy."

"So..." I started saying. "You want to save Taeyeon because she is a criminal?"

"Yes." She quickly replied. That is some extreme behavior I tell ya. "And no..." She pointed to her couch for me to sit down and I followed suit. She went to her bedroom, just to bring with her a black covered folder. "This is one of Kim Taeyeon's articles. She doesn't have so many, it was really difficult for me to find about herself." My curiosity perked up. "But one curious thing about Kim Taeyeon is that… for whatever reason it was… when she killed she always left a candy wrap in the crime scene."

"Like a signature?" I asked feeling my heart beat wild.

"Yes. Back then when she was free, she was known as the Kid Killer because of that."

"The Kid Killer?"

"Hm. I find it adorable." I blinked completely aback by the woman's behavior. "And… It seems like her past victims happened to be criminals as well."

"What?" My eyes opened a tad wider.

"I can't tell that for sure, as articles about her is really scarce. But in this article…" She pointed to the paper in the folder. And I was able to see just a small frame, with some white pieces of things that I didn't know what it was, reading ' _I'm gonna get you'._ "They talk about a super rich man who was killed, having all his teeth plucked out." I felt my guts twist. "The teeth were rearranged to read _'I'm gonna get you'_ and nobody knew who that 'you' was. It turns out that later, they found out that this very rich men worked along with a powerful mob net back in those days. Some inspectors believed that the Kid Killer wrote the message to everyone from the mob net who would read the paper later that morning thus meaning she would kill them all eventually."

"Did she?" I asked curiously.

"I don't know. I can't find many things about her. She didn't really try to stand out from other criminals. The only thing that made her apart was the candy wrappings. But you know when a criminal gets famous for a particular signature, then somehow it starts to happen…

"Copycats." I finished.

"Exactly! It's difficult to tell if all the crimes that was found a candy wrap were indeed done by her. I have seven articles about the Kid Killer and I believe only about three are the real ones."

"What makes you think this way?"

"I told you before I would ask the residents to describe me their killings, right?" I nodded still surprised by that new brand information. "Kim Taeyeon doesn't like quick kills. She likes to see her victims suffering, she likes to hear their whimpers and cries." That made me gulp. "All of her past victims had slow deaths, even tortures before the real deal. And that fits only with two or three articles I found about her... Which leads me to believe that all the killings Taeyeon had under the Asylum was caused by her episodes of violence. More like an accident than her real needs."

"You mean she never wanted to kill those people?"

"Yes. I know it's hard to tell because she is so unpredictable. But in my head the Kid Killer would never bother killing people she doesn't give a shit."

"If you trace her past crimes, before she was at the Asylum, there were months and even years apart from each crime. She wasn't that kind of criminal who just went berserk and killed every one she could, no! She was patient and carefully planned all her crimes, even if it could take months and years to be done. Maybe it is one of the reasons it's so hard to find real news about her. And the fact that she always took a long time to make her comebacks, her copycats loved that as the name Kid Killer would be assigned to them instead, even though their methods of killing is essentially different from Kim Taeyeon's."

I was still in shock with all that I was hearing. My head was about to explode with so much information. "The three articles I believe it's about her talk about dead guys from the same net. I have no idea if she was working with G-Dragon…but it can be a possibility."

"Why?"

"G-Dragon got in the top tier after that net was basically broken. Having someone like the Kid Killer, who didn't like getting attention to herself, working for him would be a great advantage! It would look like she was a lone wolf, with no particular attachment to any gang, but in reality she was actually getting rid of the old mobs so G-Dragon could now be the top one! It took years to Kim Taeyeon successfully broke that net into pieces. She wasn't in a hurry, and didn't want to make them flee, so she waited months till killing again, one by one. She is actually very patient. Also keep in mind that, many people believed the Kid Killer was a man back then, so Taeyeon being the killer was actually a very safe choice. Her looks can easily fool people around." Yeah, that I kinda agree.

"So if the real Kid Killer can spend years without committing a single crime, it means Kim Taeyeon is not a lost cause." I heard her say. "She's not an evil maniac who can't live in society… she can, she showed that before. The thing is… Ever since she got into the Asylum, she's been unstable." I was almost convinced by this point that what changed Taeyeon was the Asylum behavior, as how much of assholes they are with the residents. "I think she's angry with something but nobody really tries to see what it is or why. And I believe this is why she trusts you." I looked at her expectantly. "Because you're the first doctor that tried understand her. Upon asking you to give her gummy worms, she just realized you were willing to put yourself into trouble in order to reach her, and I don't think she ever had that type of doctor before." My heart started to beat faster. "And now she's more angry than before because you're not there anymore. Suddenly, the doctor who tried to understand her, is long gone. Now it's all back to be how it was before, no one trying to care." I was embarrassed at myself for I cried a tear upon hearing that.

"I..."

"I don't think she is a psycho. I just think she is angry. She's angry with something… that she can't really control… so she goes and kills whoever is in her way in frustration."

"How do you know all that stuff?" I asked still dumbfounded by all that. "How can you know Taeyeon is the real Kid Killer and not a copycat?"

"Copycats are easy to point it out. They usually are sloppy or overdo their killing in comparison to impress everyone. They don't really have a real personality so they borrow a persona from others to be noticed."

"Wow…"

She chuckled along. "When I was younger and getting into criminal stories, the Kid Killer was one of my favorites. The fact that she always left a candy wrap was fascinating for me. Many serial killers have their signatures actually in their methods of killing, right? Like which is the first spot they cut or which is the last and most of times the way they kill is pretty much the same. But the Kid Killer killed those people differently. It's like every kill was special to her so she treated differently. Like this guy – She pointed again to the article – she plucked out his teeth and cut his tongue with a hammer. But the other guy, she broke all the bones on his legs to prevent him from walking...And all it declared it was the Kid Killer was the same blue-ish candy wrap found in their pockets!" They way her eyes twinkled made me gulp. "That's why I want to save her. Because A – she raised one of her fingers - I don't think she killed those doctors on purpose and B – she raised another one – she is one of my favorite criminals!"

That is some really extreme behavior. That woman sure needs counseling for her obsession actually not turn her into a psycho killer wannabe. Jesus, I have never seen something like this before and I have seen some pretty ass crazy shit obsessions in my life.

"You feel the same, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" I'm sorry, lady, but I sure don't have this extreme behavior…

"You also think she didn't kill those doctors on purpose and she's your favorite inmate, isn't she?" I blinked not able to say a word. "The reason why I want to save her is essentially the same as yours."

"I...uh..." She chuckled.

"I guess we just don't like her for the exactly same reasons but that doesn't mean we don't care about her." Yet again the very first reason why I found Taeyeon interesting was because she was this strange and peculiar criminal. In a way, yes, Lee Soon Kyu wasn't exactly wrong. "Thank you, Doctor Hwang." She said bowing to me. "Thank you for helping Kim Taeyeon."

That made me smile.

Of course I would help her.

But my smile turned into an 'o' shape when, upon arriving at the Asylum, I saw a bunch of people in front of the black gates.

"SHUT DOWN THE ASYLUM! SHUT DOWN THE ASYLUM!"

I heard them shouting, carrying signs and plates demanding the facility to be closed down. I saw one of the guards waved for me not to enter with my car. I stopped driving just as someone threw an egg on my windows. Oh, Christ.

"SHUT DOWN THE ASYLUM! SHUT DOWN THE ASYLUM!"

I saw more officers come and try to calm down those people. When one of them knocked on my window, I opened it. "Sorry, Doctor, some crazy ass people here are givin' us a hard time."

"What's happening?"

"It's… complicated." He spat it out, looking away. "The Asylum is not the sam' anymore. I feel like dark times are coming."

"What?"

"But well… Welcome Back!" He opened his arms wide. "Huh… could you..just.. leave your car here? We can't really open the gates or these batshit people will invade and break everything out. The inmates are in their recreation time so..." He clicked his tongue. "It will be better if they don't meet."

"Yeah, sure." I nodded my head understanding the situation. I ended up parking my car outside. The officers aided me getting inside the grounds without getting hurt from the angry folks before the gate. I assume they are the families and friends from the doctors who died and they are protesting against the Asylum.

As I got inside the place, I sighed relieved.

I also breathed in the air of that place one more time. I was back at last.

My heart started to beat completely wild as my steps led me nearer and nearer of the Medical Center. The very first thing I wanted to do it was to see Yuri and give her a bear hug. But my feet stopped once I heard someone calling me. I turned my heels and realized it was Choi Sooyoung.

"Hey, Doctor Hwang..."

"Miss Choi..." I nodded my head. She did the same. "How you doing?"

"Good. So… you're back..."

"Yes. And I'm sorry but I won't be able to give macaroons this time." She chuckled.

"I know. I'm sorry about that, Doctor, it got us both in trouble, didn't it?" I felt my heart warmer.

"It's alright… We both learned our lesson somehow..."

"Hm. Thank you for saving me that day, Doc."

"It's alright… I'm glad you are fine, Miss Choi."

"I'm glad you're back." She smiled me back. "Welcome back to the Madhouse, Doctor..."

I chuckled. "Thank you, Sooyoung." "I must go now. See you around."

"See you..." She waved at me, but before I could move she called me again. "Huh, Doctor?"

"Yes?" I turned to her. She blinked a couple of times before stepping closer.

"Heechul." She said suddenly in a low voice. I frowned my brows not getting it. "The name." That made my eyes instantly open wider. "The name is Heechul."

The name! The name I once was dying to know for! The name who triggered Taeyeon's episode when she killed Yeri! Heechul… who is this person? Is the 'oppa' Taeyeon once dreamed about? Is that oppa her brother? Friend? Boyfriend?

I gulped feeling anxious. Somehow I felt like I discovered something I shouldn't know of. I found so much about her this past few days, it was driving me insane. "Thank you, Sooyoung."

She nodded in gratitude.

I spent a couple of minutes staring at the grass thinking about Taeyeon before I could move myself to find Yuri.

I could feel my heart beating in my ears as Yuri and I walked side by side following the corridors towards Taeyeon's house unit. The feelings were so much that even before we stopped at it, my eyes were already amidst tears. It's fucking scary how that woman can transform me into a shivering bundle.

"You alright, Tiffany?" Yuri asked me worriedly. I denied. She placed her hands on my shoulders. "Look… I gotta tell you… Kim Taeyeon…." I looked at her seriously. "She's… different now." I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. "And we did what we could to stop her… you understand that, right?" I nodded, gulping hard. She hugged me and I almost broke down. "I'm sorry…"

"It's alright. I'm alright." I tried to be as confident as I could.

She released me and was quite hesitant to open the door. Eventually she had to do anyways, and when she finally did it, and my feet dragged inside the cell, my heart shrunk in size before the most heartbreaking scene I ever witnessed. All I wanted to do it was to run and hug her, but my stupid legs got weak and all I could do was to let go a whimpering.

Taeyeon was wearing a dirty white straight-jacket, both her heels chained to the wall as the lower part of her face was covered by a black muzzle.

"Tae…yeon?" I cried tears and more tears as that image got stuck in my brain. That is without a doubt the most humiliating thing I ever saw. "My...God…What they've done to you...?"

* * *

It was difficult for me to use my legs properly and get near to my favorite patient. The cell was bigger than I remembered and due to her short stature she seemed even _tinier_ than she already was. Maybe that was on purpose. Throwing someone small into a big room with nothing in it makes them feel inferior and much more powerless than common cells. Is that what they want Taeyeon to feel? That she has nothing here? That she can't do anything in here other than to be at mercy of their will?

When I finally got near her, I realized she was sleeping… or sedated? I couldn't tell. Her eyes were closed and her soft breathing quickly gave her state away. I gulped upon noticing that her hair was oily and disarranged showing that she's probably been without a shower for a couple of days. She was deeply underweight, clearly not being fed well enough since God knows when.

I got on my knees just beside her and leaving tears falling down, I touched her muzzle wanting to rip it off from her face as soon as possible.

"Doc?" I felt Yuri's hands touching mine, stopping me from doing what I so desperately wanted. "Don't."

I looked at her. "It's not safe." She said shaking her head sideways.

"But..."

She quickly interrupted me. "She's dangerous."

"She's not an animal!" My voice came lower but firmly nonetheless.

"No. She's a psycho who needs to be stopped!" That made more tears come down from my eyes. "We had to stop her. I'm sorry, Doc… but she can't be trusted. She might hurt you."

"She won't."

"Last doctor she had injured, she did it by biting her ear off." My eyes were wide open. "It's not safe."

I looked back at Taeyeon, taking my time to observe her small face. The muzzle covering her mouth made me gulp anxiously. She was restrained in every way possible. Legs, arms, hands… and mouth. I've learned that in some cases, when the patient is too violent, and has tendencies to bite when angry we use the muzzles to stop them. We also use muzzles to make them quiet as it's very uncomfortable to speak with that over your face. And well Taeyeon… well she is kinda a blabber… having this to shut her mouth is honestly… very sad.

"Yuri..." I called her. I sensed the officer looking at me. "Please..." I pleaded.

"Tiffany..."

"This… is not… Taeyeon." I said refusing to look at her face now. I was looking downwards, my eyes focused on her feet; and only then I was able to actually smell the odor coming from her body. It wasn't pleasant the slightest. "This... is…"

"Tiffany..."

"Humiliating." I replied gulping hard again.

"I'm sorry."

"How long is she without a proper shower?"

"Two weeks." I clenched my fists upon hearing the answer.

"And a proper meal?"

"Two weeks." My nails embedded my palm forcefully. "She eats twice a day, breakfast and dinner. Those meals consist of a glass of water and a bowl of porridge." Two weeks straight only eating that? Taeyeon would be lucky enough if she still has her teeth on her mouth.

"My God..." I covered my face with my hands. "How… How come you don't do anything?" I asked shocked for their behavior. "How come you let all this happen? How come you don't feel anything?"

"Like what?" She frowned her brows.

"I don't know… like… compassion?" Yuri's expression changed to a cold one.

"That inmate fucked my girlfriend…" She said bitterly reminding me of that particular incident, making me look away. "The last thing I'd feel for her would be compassion!"

"Yuri..."

She scoffed raising up from the spot beside me. "Are you really gonna pity her now? Are you really gonna make me the villain here?" She asked angrily. "Just because she is wearing all that fucked up stuff? Are you that weak?"

"I… I'm...not...weak."

"She chose this, Tiffany!" She said coldly pointing her finger to Taeyeon. "She picked left, remember? All she's ever done in her life was to lie and steal and murder! And here you are, crying your heart out because your favorite inmate is without a proper shower!" I shook my head, trying to deny it. "Are you really serious? Can't you think for a minute about the people she bluntly killed? Look at the people just outside the gates, Tiffany! They are all screaming to this place being shut down because that fucking psycho killed their husbands, wives, children and friends!" I used the back of my hand to wipe my tears. "This is ridiculous!"

"Yuri..."

"And I'm not here to hear you scold me for what I did or did not!" She stepped back, getting closer to the door.

"I'm sorry." I tried to apologize myself. I heard her scoff. "I know she must be stopped from hurting other people. I know she's dangerous. And you're right… Those people outside the gates... they are in their rights to shout for this place to close down. What she's done is unforgivable."

"But..." She added knowing that I would counter that.

"I'm here to take care of Taeyeon. And I won't take care of her being restrained like this. I didn't come back here just to tie her up on the walls and let her starve to death!"

"She is not starving, Tiffany. Many children around the world have less then her to survive."

"Taeyeon needs proper care."

She scoffed again. "It's quite clear why you're her favorite doctor. You're too soft."

"I'm not soft!" I raised up my voice, and myself, in order to stand my ground.

"Of course you are! Look at your tears! They're all shed just because that woman is chained to the wall! Can't you think of how fucked up it is, Tiffany? Can't you think of how sick it is that you are fond of that psychopath?"

"She is not a psychopath."

"That woman is everything but a normal person, Tiffany! And you know it! You just told me yourself! She is dangerous! She needs to be stopped! So why the fuck you still care about her when you know she's not worth it?"

"She is worth it!" I replied firmly. "Everyone is worth it!" I said, quieter this time.

I got closer to Taeyeon and knelled down again beside her. The first thing I got it off was the muzzle out from her face. Slowly and carefully I removed that apparatus from her mouth, noticing some strings of saliva inside. The smell I felt from hers made me want to rinse her mouth right away. I pulled up her upper lip to check her teeth and although they were all still there, the yellowish-brown color quickly gave the poor hygiene away. I let go of her lip and cupped her face, looking for any injuries but she seemed to be fine other than a few red marks caused by the muzzle on her white skin that will be gone after a while.

"Doc..." Yuri tried speak again but I ignored, sniffing, and now proceeding to untie Taeyeon's straight jacket. That thing was one of the most uncomfortable thing to wear ever. It didn't only prevent your torso and arms to move, but also inflicts pain for the amount of time your arms have to be held in that position. One by one, I unbuckled the strings of the jacket. When all the strings were finally unbuckled, I took the jacket away, trying to not do any harsh movement that could hurt Taeyeon. "Doc..."

I threw the dirty jacket away, still ignoring her. "Doc, stop! You can't do this, she's gonna hurt you!" Now the only thing it was chaining her was the cuffs around her ankles.

"Yuri, listen… I know it is painful to you… Every time you look at her face, you remember what happened between Taeyeon and your girlfriend. I get it." She huffed angrily. "I'm not asking you to forgive Taeyeon or to like her back… I'm just asking you to… please… uncuff her." I saw her looking at the floor. "I'll take care of Taeyeon from now on and you won't need to worry anymore. But please, let me do it by having my patient free from all those chains! Please..." I begged letting a tear stream down my cheeks.

"No." She denied. "I'm sorry, Doctor. My duty is to keep others out of danger from her. I won't free her."

"Yuri..."

"You are putting yourself into danger. And if she kills you, this facility will be shut down and I won't let that happen! So… you may have gotten rid off her muzzle and jacket, but I won't make her able to walk from here. I'm sorry."

I hung up my head in defeat. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall and pulled the girl into my lap, the back of my fingers touching her face. "Don't worry, Taeyeon. I will take care of you." I whispered softly. I tucked her hair behind her ear. "It's okay..." I said softly. "It's okay, I'm here." I hoped she could hear me despite being unconscious. "It's alright."

"How is that possible?" I heard Yuri ask coldly. I looked at her. "How does she do that? How that can happen? Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you like her more than me? WHY SOYEON LIKES HER MORE THAN ME? WHY EVERYBODY LIKES HER MORE THAN ME?" I felt my heart squeeze as I saw Yuri crying some tears. I shook my head, not knowing how to answer that question.

"I..."

"It's not fair, Doc." She kept shaking her head. "It is not!"

"Yuri..."

"This is all my fault! ALL MY FAULT!" She punched the air angrily. "If I had killed her, this wouldn't be happening now!"

"Yuri…"

"Think about how many lives I've could spared, Doc! Think how many people wouldn't have ended up being killed by this mental! All those lives gone to waste, because I couldn't kill her! Because I was weak!"

"You're not!"

"I should never have told Soonkyu about you! I should never told her to get you back!"

"What?"

"I should have left her die in here!"

"Would you rather that?" I asked feeling hurt by her words. "Would you rather see her dead?"

"Yes, I'd rather. Better see her dead than see people pity her." I gulped a lump in my throat. "I'm done, Doc." She said showing a bit of exhaustion. "I'm done seeing people falling for her."

"Yuri..."

"I'm done with this shithole." I frowned my brows, why was this sounding like something else? I saw her get her keychain out of her belt and throw it on the floor.

"Yuri?"

"I'm done." She said turning her back to me and walking to the door. "Do whatever you want with your little inmate. I won't stop you anymore, Doc. I won't stop anyone anymore. I'm done!"

"N-No..." My eyes opened wide when I heard her weakly voice say. "d-don't..."

"Taeyeon?" I muttered anxiously.

"D-don't… g-go...Yuri..." She said louder, her voice raspy, but still weak. "STOP!" She said again, louder this time, making Yuri turn her face back to where we were. Taeyeon raised her hand upfront, as if she wanted to reach Yuri, grab her leg and stop her, but she was too far away to do that. "Please, don't go! Don't… leave me!" I didn't know what was going on but one thing I knew for sure, Taeyeon's tears couldn't be lies. "Please, don't!"

"Taeyeon?"

"Don't go! Please! No!" Her voice cracked. My tears ran freely over my face even if I didn't have any idea of she was talking about. Yuri seemed just confused as I was.

"Don't go! Please don't this to me! Not again!" Not again? What was that supposed to mean? "Please."

"You are out of your mind, inmate" Yuri shook her head.

"Taeyeon..." I muttered.

"Don't go away! Please, don't leave me! Yuri-ah!" When Yuri menaced to walk again, Taeyeon shouted. "STOP! NO! YOU CAN'T! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S LEFT!" By then I could just cover my mouth to stop my sobs.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!" Taeyeon's tears were flooding her face, snot coming out from her nose as saliva easily dripped from her slightly open mouth.

I saw Yuri gulping and for a moment there I felt like whatever what was going on with Taeyeon it was hitting Yuri as well. But she had to be a strong officer. And for that, Yuri exhaled, finding strength to walk away.

"YAH! STOP! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO AWAY!" Taeyeon stuttered while I stroked her hair calmly, my heart pounding against my chest because of the whole situation.

"You can't stop me from doing what I want to!" She said harshly.

"Yes, I can! I PICK! I PICK FOR THE BOTH OF US! I'M THE OLDEST!" More and more tears poured down my face.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?"

"Don't go! Please...don't!"

Yuri shook her head. "You're crazy!"

Taeyeon tears still kept coming. When Yuri menaced to walk again, Taeyeon shouted. "STOP!" Yuri didn't stop, she kept walking. "NO! YOU CAN'T! STOP!" Yuri kept walking without even looking behind. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! YOU'RE MY FRIEND! FRIENDS DON'T LEAVE OTHERS BEHIND, REMEMBER?"

"N-no! WAIT! COME BACK! PLEASE… DON'T! DON'T... _LEave me...alone…_ _-_ I saw Taeyeon widened her eyes as Yuri was no longer paying attention to her pleas and soon, she was gone. I was out with words or thoughts when I heard her left out a loud scream of pain. Her groans and yells became louder and louder.

"HEY, INMATE!" Two officers suddenly entered the cell. My eyes went wide.

"No! Officer, no!" I shouted placing my hands upfront, trying to stop them.

"Stand back, Doctor Hwang!"

"No! Officer, please, don't shoot!"

"She's dangerous, she needs to be controlled!"

"Get out of the way doctor!"

"No! She won't hurt anyone! It's okay!" My body shook as Taeyeon left out another yell.

"Look at her, Doctor! She will hurt you!"

I looked at Taeyeon, her state was the most heartbreaking I ever seen. She left out another groan, her body was crouched on my lap, the shoulders moving up and down inconsistently for her fast pace breathing.

"It's okay, Taeyeon." I softly spoke. "It's alright."

She shook her head.

"It's alright."

"Doctor!" Officer Choi called me. "She is very unstable… Please, stand clear!"

"Tae…" My voice cracked. I tried to comfort her. "Hey… it's alright. I'm here. It's me… Tiffany!"

"Doc?"

"It's okay." I softly spoke. Tears of joy clogged up my ducts as I heard her call me Doc. "It's okay…"

I've never been so devastated in my entire life. I was a plain wreckage of a state right now.. I stroked her hair calmly, my heart pounding hard against my chest. "I'm here.. ok? You're safe."

"Doc?"

"Hm."

"I'm angry." My hand kept stroking her hair, trying to comfort her.

"You are?"

"It hurts."

"Taeyeon..."

"People always...leave me. Why they are always leaving me?" My eyes widened. ' _I think she is angry with something… something she can't really control.'_ Was Taeyeon abandoned? Is this the reason why she is so keen to breakdown when she connects to someone? _'Don't go away! Not you! Not again!"_ It's like that happened so many times in her life that now it became a routine making her completely sensitive about it.

"Why they always leave me, Doc?" I covered my mouth with my hand by the sudden realization.

"T-Tae...yeon..."

"What is wrong with me?" I shook my head, feeling more tears flooding my face. I didn't even know that I had so many tears inside my ducts. "Why people can't stay with me?"

"Hey...I'm here. I'm here to stay. I'm here to help you. It's okay, Taeyeon. Every thing will be fine. You'll see!"

"Doc?"

"Hm."

"Don't leave me...again."

"I won't!"

"You promise?" She asked lifting her pinky finger. I chuckled in tears, finally entwining my own pinky with her own.

"I promise." I said firmly. "I won't leave you again." She sighed. "I'm here. You're safe." She exhaled.

Somehow I felt she was calming down. She closed her eyes and I kept caressing her face with my of us were in a state of mess, Taeyeon even more than me. I exhaled and raised my face upwards, letting my head against the wall. My pinky finger still entwined on her own.

"Doctor Hwang?" I heard officer Choi called me, I looked at him.

"Did you just... calm her down?" His incredulous face made me chuckle.

"Honestly… officer… I don't even know how I do it..."

"1,2...3." I did my best to not blush as I got my arms over her in order to help her get up from the wheel chair. Taeyeon was so weak due to poor health care and diet that she couldn't be standing from a large period of time. So till she gets her strength again, she will require a wheelchair.

I managed to get soap, shampoo and other hygienic products with the commissary, and helped Taeyeon get a well deserved shower. Or tried because she actually refused to let me help her doing just that. "I can totally do that by my own, Doc. Go away." She had said, I respected her choice even though I was concerned she could hurt herself in the shower. But it turned out to be just fine. I also brushed her teeth and used some mouthwash to get rid of her bad breath. It would take a while till they could be white again, but that was a start.

"Almost there..." I said encouraging her steps as we walked to her bed. The very first thing I did was to ask to Ho Sung that Taeyeon could get back to her usual cell other than to stay in the SHU, she was already there long enough! Ho Sung didn't like it but Lee Soonkyu made him take my pleas. I haven't seen Yuri since the incident that had happened in the morning and I was afraid she had resigned or something, the way she spoke her words kinda sound like quitting. I hope she hasn't really done it, because I still want her to become warden of this place. She is a good person and though her biggest grip is with Taeyeon, she can still be righteous. I mean, she is the main reason I'm back. I can basically say that she hired me back. And even though she hates Taeyeon, she still tried to save her one last time. That's very admirable. I had the feeling Taeyeon felt the same. I mean, I don't know Taeyeon's point of view of the whole story, but it was quite clear Taeyeon doesn't really hate Yuri or anything. Taeyeon actually seem to regard Yuri as a friend despite all the bickering and all that happened between the two. I know it's hard for Yuri to forgive her but my heart kinda wished that could happen.

"There you go..." I relieved when we got to her bed and carefully, she sat herself on the mattress, its creaking loud as her weight affected the metal frames. I smiled, feeling her scent invade my nostrils. After the shower, her skin was so gleaming white and smelling so good, it looked somebody else. "You got yourself a brand new face! Much more improved I dare to say."

"This line is mine, Doc." She replied back and I smiled. "Guess the joke's on me now, huh?" I got contemplating her for a while. I froze up while my eyes did all the moving for me, scanning over her perfect features - her lips, cheeks, her eyes and nose. Who you really are, Kim Taeyeon? Are you the jokey persona I met months ago or are you the Kid Killer? Are you the broken person you showed me you were or are you the psychopath who can't do anything else other than murder? I still didn't know. Maybe she was all in one. I decided not to think much about it because every time I do it, I feel like I'm just inflicting pain on myself with those thoughts.

"It's late now. You should rest." I suggested. "I'll be here tomorrow, okay?"

"So… Are you taking care of me every day?" Every day, 24/7 but I decided not to tell her that.

"Till you recover fully, yes. The sessions must keep going on still."

"Why?"

"The Asylum needs proves of your treatment. It's their guidance to show the court you're actually under control."

She looked down to her feet. "How often they're gonna happen?"

"The usual. Once a week."

"On Mondays?" She asked raising her brow.

"Is there another day you prefer?" I asked curiously. If she wanted to change it, I could do that.

"No, it's okay. I like Mondays." I smiled as she did the same.

"I like Mondays too."

"Thank you, Doc." I saw her brows eyes gleaming with light. "Thank you for caring about me." I knelled down, having myself in the same height as hers, just staring at her eyes.

"I told you before, didn't I? I will always care about you." She blinked and I felt her fingers turn around so the tips were against my cheek. The sensation of her cold skin in my heated cheeks was amazing and I felt myself lowering my professional wall to her. The feeling was so intense for me, I had my eyes to close at her touch and that only helped that soft gesture be even more powerful.

She cupped the side of my face, her thumb moving back and forth along my cheekbone.

"Tae-" I didn't even get to finish her name before a soft kiss was pressed down onto my lips, silencing me.

I've could die right now and I wouldn't probably care. When she let go of my lips, I gulped, in hope I could save that for rest of my life. The kiss was short and it wasn't a hot intense one which could lead to something sexual… it was more like of a…

"Thank You." She said again, even softer this time. I still could feel her thumb still there, on my cheekbone, moving gently. "Thank you, Tiffany." She said as she gave another small smile. Her voice was so soft and I paused for a moment just to take in those things. Especially when she called me Tiffany.

Suddenly everything felt okay, everything felt right because at that moment Taeyeon's gaze was soft, warm and inviting. Her smile was so beautiful... her face was beautiful. She was so beautiful.

I felt her breath near my ear and I allowed my eyes to close again when her lips kissed my cheek. "It's late now. You should leave."

I sighed, how I wished I could stay a bit longer with her. And though technically I could really do it, it would be really better if I go home. She also needs her time and space. I nodded, getting up from my knees.

"So long, toots." My eyes widened when I heard that.

I got some shining tears clogging my ducts up again. "See you around… Taeyeon."

* * *

I closed my eyes as I lay down on my bed. My heart beating anxiously after what happened that day. She kissed me. Kim Taeyeon fucking kissed me. My head was going insane thinking about that. Does she feel any thing for me? Does she like me as much as I like her? Did she only kissed me as a way to thank me? Was that all but a gratitude kiss?

Out of all ways I could imagine Taeyeon kissing me, that surely wasn't the first to come into mind. I had fantasies with Taeyeon before, she kissing me roughly and dominantly, which then would lead to something else, but that was not the case. She kissed me gently, to thank me for everything I did so far. Maybe she didn't feel like words couldn't be enough and took one step beyond and decided to kiss me. Whatever was the case, I actually enjoyed that.

That moment was so short but so incredible. Everything seemed to be back into place because Taeyeon was there with me. Everything seemed to be better because she was there with me. The warmness in her eyes, the softness of her fingers… it was just amazing. It made me go over the moon even if it was just a gentle kiss. It made smile from sheer happiness.

I moved my head as I heard my phone vibrating. Someone was calling me. I picked it up, my eyes going wide open when I saw the upcoming call from Yuri. My thumb quickly pressed the green button.

"Hello..."

"Doctor? Hi, I'm sorry to call you… but..."

"Yuri? Oh my God… Where have you been? Are you alright?"

"Can you...uh… open the door, please?"

I felt my heart race faster for some reason. "Yeah, sure. Hold on a sec." I said, ending up the call and getting up from my bed; going to the living room to open the door, not caring that I was on my pajamas ready to sleep.

I opened the door, letting Yuri come inside. Her face was clean but I was also aware of her slightly puffy eyes, giving her tears away. "What happened? Are you okay? Where did you go?"

"I'm fine, doctor." She nodded her head quickly dismissing my question. "Sorry to come so late."

"It's alright. What happened? Why have you been gone for so long?"

Yuri hesitated before sighing. "I wasn't...feeling well." I felt my heart twist around my chest and trying to make her feel a little bit better, I hugged her, letting my chin rest over her shoulder.

"Please, tell me you didn't quit." I said, closing my eyes, praying for it.

"I didn't." She denied and I sighed relieved. "Not yet."

"Not yet?" I asked worriedly.

"I thought about it for a while." "For the whole day I was trying to figure my life out."

"Figure your life out?" I looked at her.

"Yes. Figure what would be of my life if I really quit. What would I do. I'm in that facility for so long, almost five years already, and I don't think I could be anywhere else. However, at the same time, I feel extremely exhausted. It's like I can't take that place and its people any longer. I fell like a balloon ready to explode."

"I'm sorry, Yuri. There's so much going on right now. It must be really tough for you."

"That's why I thought of quitting. I was tired of that. I wanted to be gone for a minute. I wanted to be out of that place and begin anew in a different one. A place where people wouldn't need to lie to me. Where people could like me."

"Yuri..."

"But then… she… started saying those things." I was aware she was talking about Taeyeon and how she reacted upon seeing Yuri leaving. "Shouting things I never thought she would shout to me. I didn't quite understand what she was saying that time, it didn't make any sense whatsoever. But the only thing that echoed in my brain was that…. She called me… friend."

I looked at her. "I don't understand, Doc. How can she call me friend when she had cheated on me with my girlfriend? Was that a joke?"

I didn't know what to say.

"Am I all but a joke to her? That she can poke me and laugh at my misery?"

"No! Yuri..."

"How could she do this to me? How can she betray me and call me a friend, Doctor?"

"I...don't...know."

"I really wanted to quit, you know. The way you took care of her. The way you looked at her..." I gulped hard, feeling my body tense up.

I'm fucked up. I know I am. If Yuri tells Ho Sung about my feelings for Taeyeon, that is the end. It's the end of my career, as I might lose my medical license, and it's the end of Taeyeon's life. Yuri may be my friend but if she knew about what I really feel for Taeyeon…it was her duty like it was any other CO to actually report me.

"I don't like her." I tried to deny it.

She snorted. "I've seen it before, Doctor. It wasn't different from Soyeon."

"I'm not Soyeon." I replied, going away from her.

"Soyeon lied to me. Taeyeon lied to me. And now you're lying to me. It seems like everyone lies to me."

My eyes quickly widened when I heard that. Why was that reminding me painfully of Taeyeon?

"You've fallen for her just like Soyeon had. I tried to warn you but you didn't listen to me." I looked away, gulping the lump in my throat.

"No, you're wrong. I haven't fallen for Taeyeon." I shook my head, feeling my heart squeeze because I still could remember the touch of her fingers on my cheeks. I still could feel the taste of her lips onto mine.

She sighed, coming closer to me and resting her hands over my shoulders. "It's been a while now, Doctor, everything you do… you do for Taeyeon." With no shame on me, I cried a tear. I mean, I know it. I know I like that woman. I think about her constantly and just having her near me was enough to brighten my days. I know I'm fucked up lost in feelings for that inmate.

"Are you going to report me?" I asked looking at the floor. "Are you going to report me to Ho Sung?"

She scoffed. "I didn't bring you back to make you lose your medical license, Tiffany." I raised my eyes to her. "I knew what was going on. I knew that ever since you started meeting her on her cell those mornings, I knew that falling for her would be just a matter of time." I cried again. "I just hoped you wouldn't. I tried to stop you, but you ended up doing it anyways." She chuckled.

"Yuri..."

"Besides, if you can keep my secret, I can keep yours too."

I chuckled, still in tears, and hugged the taller woman in front of me tightly. "Thank you, Yuri..."

"Just...be careful, okay? Don't let others know it, and more importantly..." She paused, making me pay more attention to what she was about to say. "Be careful with her." That made my heart go wild inside me chest, because after that kiss, I don't know how I would look at her. "I know you don't believe me. I know whatever I'll say will be gone in one ear and out the other… But she is capable to use your feelings in order to seduce you and you know, get some. Maybe that's all she's after." I shut my eyes, praying for that be a lie. "So… be careful."

I nodded, recognizing that she was actually trying to help me. "Thank you, Yuri." I tried to show my gratitude. I know Yuri was trying to put some sense in my head. And it felt good to know there was someone caring about me.

"No prob, Doc."

"I can't believe I used to think you were a dick."

She chuckled. "I'm used to it." I felt my heart squeeze again.

"I'm so sorry, Yuri..."

"For what?"

"People misjudging you, saying hurtful things to… it must be awful."

"It's okay." We got silent for a while as I caught myself thinking about what she just had told me.

"Was that..." I hesitated for a moment. I didn't want to make her angry. It's a delicate issue and to this date, it still hurts her. "Was that all Taeyeon was after with Soyeon?" I asked, looking at the floor, avoiding her black orbs all times.

"Of course it was! She just wanted to get rid of some dust, join up the dots. She noticed Soyeon was an easy target. Just like you're."

I stepped back, feeling her words have an extra weight on me.

"I'm sorry, Doc… but… you don't think that inmate actually likes you back, do you?"

I didn't answer and Yuri took that short silence as an affirmative. "Do you?"

"I..."

"No, no, no… Doc, listen to me..." She cupped my face and I stepped further away from her, not wanting to really listen. "Doctor..."

"She's just not open about her feelings." I hit back. I wanted to hold onto a little hope that Taeyeon liked me, I didn't enjoy thinking that she was using me that way.

"Just because she wants you back with her, doesn't mean she likes you in that extent, Tiffany!"

Ah now she's back calling me Tiffany. I hated that. Yuri always called me Tiffany when she wanted to make her points across. Taeyeon called me Tiffany… when she was grateful to me.

"You brought me back..." I started. "You brought me back to take care of her. Because you knew that she would stop killing once I get there, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"You weren't thinking about Taeyeon's life when you talked to Lee Soonkyu. You were thinking about your job. About the Asylum being closed down."

"Really? Are you gonna call me selfish now?"

"'Where all those officers, doctors and inmates would end up?' You asked yourself, and surely would be a disgrace if so many people lose their jobs. They have families to support, taxes and bills to pay. I understand that. I'm not calling you selfish."

"So… why are you angry at me?"

"Because you're stuck in your misconceptions of Taeyeon!"

"Misconceptions?"

"Why is it hard to believe that Taeyeon could be telling the truth? Why is it hard to believe she could genuinely like someone? Someone like...me?"

"Because she doesn't! She's a liar! A cheater!"

" _People always...leave me. Why they are always leaving me,_ _Doc?_ _What is wrong with me?_ _Why they can't stay...with me?"_ I remembered her tears.

"You tried to kill her once, right?" I asked, gazing at the floor beneath my feet. "You told me that yourself. You were angry and almost killed her..." I started, trying to explain myself. "But… she is...here… calling you _friend."_ I raised my eyes to her own. "Despite everything, Taeyeon doesn't hate you. She likes you, Yuri. Why else would she beg you to not leave her? Why else would she ask you to stay with her?"

"She was ly-

"She wasn't lying." I shook my head. "And you know she wasn't. You could feel, couldn't you?" She stood silent. "That's why you were crying. Because though you wanted to quit, there it was Taeyeon asking you to stay, after everything you've been through. Taeyeon did you wrong, and she knows that what she did was wrong."

I heard her sniff. "And if you talked to her… about it… maybe… that will make you feel better."

"What?" Her incredulous look gave her anger away. She wasn't very interested in doing that.

"Talk to Taeyeon."

"About what?"

"Soyeon."

"Why would I talk to her about it? So she could make one of her stupid jokes again and laugh at my face?"

"No! Yuri, I think you're looking at this the wrong way."

"The wrong way?"

I actually feel like much of Yuri's struggles could be gone if she just… talked to Taeyeon about it.

"You told me you couldn't understand why she cheated on you… well… why don't you ask her?

"Why are you bringing this up now?"

I looked at the floor, trying to organize my thoughts. "Look, I know it's hard… and well...hurtful. But… uh..."

"I can't believe we're back into this." She scoffed angrily. "I didn't came back here for you to lecture me how I should forgive that cunt for doing what she did."

"I'm not saying that. I'm just advising you to _talk_ about it. It's not about forgiveness..."

"Goodbye, Doctor."

"Yuri..." I tried to stop her but she ignored me completely, leaving my place rather angrily as I heard the thud of the closing door.

I exhaled, feeling bad at myself. Maybe I should learn how to be quiet so I wouldn't hurt people. Yuri was there to talk, to relieve her struggles, and I pushed her away with an issue that I knew it was burdensome. She's willing to keep my secret from others and all ever did was to push her doing something I knew she would never do.

I gulped the lump in my throat and with slow steps, I walked to my bedroom. Lying down on bed, I kept thinking about our short conversation. ' _You can't expect her to like you in that extent, Tiffany!'_

Why? Why can't I? Taeyeon kissed me. That was an indicative of her feelings, wasn't it? ' _She is capable of using your feelings in order to seduce you and you know, get some.'_

Was that what she's doing? I mean Taeyeon is in that place for over five years, and she must feel lonely. It's common to have sexual deprivation. So, in that sense, kissing me roughly due to sexual frustration would be the normal route. She at that moment, could seduce me so she could guess some. But she didn't. She kissed me because she trusted me. She kissed me because she was happy to see me. She kissed me because I was there with her. Because I cared. It was a short and gentle kiss, but that simple and short kiss felt much better than a hot one. That kiss held much more meaning than any gesture from hers. Because above all, it felt like I was special.

It feels great.

It feels great to be special to someone. Especially, to someone like Taeyeon.

I closed my eyes as I stood behind the door. My heart beating anxiously after remembering once again happened the day before. She kissed me. Kim Taeyeon fucking kissed me.

"Are you alright, Doctor Hwang?" I heard Lee Sungmin's voice echo in my ears calling my attention. But as much as I've enjoyed that kiss. As much as I wanted her to kiss me again, I know I can't let that happen. No matter what, I shall not lower my professional wall to her. No matter what, I shall not think about that kiss. I shall forget it. Pretend that never had happened.

I'm here back to take care of Taeyeon and I can't do any other mistake. I need to be cautious. If an officer knows what happened it's their job to report me. And if I'm reported, there it goes my medical license, there it goes Taeyeon; executed.

"Doctor Hwang?"

"I'm fine, officer." I said opening my eyes, smiling at him. He nodded his head, quickly grabbing the key chain on his belt and unlocking the door of her cell. I breathed in, trying to be strong and firm in what I needed to do.

When Lee Sungmin opened the door, making a loud creaking noise, I walked inside that cell. All the memories rushing back in my mind. I looked around as I didn't have much time to do it last night. There were no drawings in the wall anymore, the words have been smudged and the wall that used to have a little bit of art is now plain boring. Her shelf had gathered some dust and the books and puzzles were all gone. Maybe the officers had taken them away when she was send to the SHU. The only thing her shelf contained was her regular white t-shirt and her infamous orange jumpsuit.

I looked at her direction, sleeping on her bed. I smiled shyly, as my eyes locked on her facial features. She was really pretty. Even without make up, she had that youthful look despite everything she's been through. She was one of the few people I know who can look both extremely adorable and beautiful at the same time. I walked towards her bed, and just to be sure that everything was fine, I pressed two fingers down her wrist to measure her pulse. Everything was fine.

"Taeyeon..." I called, not so loud, trying to wake her up smoothly. "Taeyeon..." I called her again, softly, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. She stirred from her sleepiness, blinking her eyes a couple of times to regain focus. I smiled, feeling instantly lighter as soon as her expressive eyes locked onto mine. "Hi..." She didn't reply, just yawned in my direction. "Sorry" I chuckled quietly, apologizing for my disturbance. "But...uh… It's time to get up."

She nodded and sat herself on the mattress. I got the wheelchair beside her bed and put it aside her, not wasting time in helping her to get up and walk to it. I gave her the orange uniform from the shelf and lead her to the medical center to have her morning shower.

Throughout the whole journey, Taeyeon was silent, there were many things I wanted to ask her, but I decided to respect her silence and let myself be quiet as well. Besides, it's not like I could talk to her with Lee Sungmin just around the corner. So I had to wait till we would be alone ourselves.

After getting some hygienic products with the commissary again, we made our way to the showers. I took a bow when I met Byun Baekhyun leaving the place. The showers in the Medical Center were neater and tidier than the ones reserved for the inmates at the penitentiary. The stalls were private and hot water was one of the luxuries provided.

I tried helping her undress herself, but she refused again. "Yah, Doctor. Stop it. I can do that on my own." She walked to one of the last stalls of the place, closing it and carefully hanging her clothing on the top of the door.

I nodded and decided to wait for her sitting on one of the bench of the shower area. I tried to calm down my pounding heart, closing my eyes. My palms started to sweat as the sound of the shower was consistently on. She was just there, meters away from me now, completely naked, under the shower. And I was trying to tell my mind to forget about that.

"Thanks for coming back, Doctor Hwang." I heard Officer Lee say right beside me. I opened my eyes and saw him sitting on the bench awaiting for her to finish as well.

"You should thank Kwon Yuri, officer. She brought me back." I said, wondering where she was, if she's still angry with me after our chat last night.

He nodded his head. "Might do that when I see her."

"How is your wife? Getting many roles?" I asked curiously, remembering his wife is an actress.

"Yes, she is doing good. She's been asking for me to quit now. You know, given the news of doctors killed and injured… She doesn't feel I'm safe."

I gulped, understanding the woman's feelings. "And she's pregnant now." He added.

I raised my brows, much surprised by the sudden news. "Oh, really?" He nodded his head, blushing a little. I found it rather cute.

"I don't know if I'm ready, Doctor. You know, to be a father."

"It's normal to feel this way. But don't worry, I'm sure you will be a good father."

"You think I should quit, Doctor?"

That wasn't up to me. "I think you should figure your life out. You like working here? You enjoy the place and its people? Maybe… staying only for the wages ain't worthy."

"I know." He sighed, giving some thoughts to it. "And now that Kim is back to her usual self, I feel like I'm more endangered than before."

I didn't like he said that. "You are? Why?"

"It's cunt Kim, Doctor. She's just a step away to ruin everyone's life."

I gulped, feeling awful. "Well, if you believe so, then, I'm afraid you found you answer, officer." I said trying to give him a smile, even if it was a fake one.

He seemed to agree with that. "I guess so… Thank you, Doctor." I nodded.

He looked at his watch to check the time. "TIME'S OUT, INMATE!" He shouted making me slightly flinch at the sudden volume of his voice.

"You alright?" I asked upon seeing she was quiet that morning. I've gathered a sandwich and banana milk for her breakfast but she didn't quite move to eat it. She looked down, twisting her lips. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You're unusually… quiet." I don't know if it was for whatever happened to her in here while I was away, but she seemed different from before. I thought that she would be back to her usual self now that I am here, but no. There was something different. In a way, I wondered if that was the real Taeyeon.

She sighed. "I don't feel… well." She spoke in a monotone.

"What's wrong?"

She inclined further, getting closer to me. "Why they are staring at me?"

I skimmed the refectory quickly with my eyes and saw all the officers and doctors staring deeply at us. Some of them were even further away, trying to be far from her as much as possible. The moment Taeyeon and I walked in that place, it got dead silent and all the looks quickly turn to us. I tried to ignore it but it was clear that made Taeyeon uncomfortable.

I even noticed an officer resting his hand on his gun just in case.

"You're out of the SHU." I said trying to be thoughtful. "And… uh… they… don't really trust you."

"They never did. But they didn't stare at me like that before."

"They are just worried."

"About what?"

"You hurt somebody."

"I'm not gonna hurt you." That made my heart beat proudly. The corner of my lips slightly curved upwards, painting a timid smile. It seemed in that moment all my sensors were sharpened as her scent invaded my nostrils.

"Still...they're just...being cautious." I said. "Now, eat your breakfast..."

"I'm not hungry." She dismissed, moving the wheelchair away from the table.

"Taeyeon..." I got up, not forgetting to pick the sandwich and the milk out with me, following her behind. She made her way to the yard and it seemed like she wanted to go back to her cell but I quickly reach her and made her stop. "No, Taeyeon… don't. You're not gonna spend the whole day in that cell."

"I don't want to be out today, Doctor."

"Well, it's not about what you want now, it's about what you need. You need your breakfast. You need to exercise. You need to be out of that cell."

"I want to be alone." Ok, that hurt me to bits.

"You were alone for three weeks in that SHU. I know you don't want to be alone. You don't really want me to leave."

She lowered her head and I knew that she was giving in. I stretched my arms, offering her the sandwich and the banana milk, which she eventually accepted. I lead her near to a tree, the same tree she used to sit under to sketch some of her drawings, and not caring much, I sat on the grass beside her. In silence, Taeyeon started eating her sandwich.

"What was bothering you? Tell me." I asked softly, pulling some of the grass out of the ground in anxiety.

She didn't tell me. She ate the whole sandwich in silence completely ignoring me. I exhaled, wondering what could have annoy her like that.

"I...heard it." She said suddenly. I widened my eyes, looking at her. "You and Mr. Lee talking. In the shower."

"Because he called you Cunt Kim?" I tried to decipher what bothered her in that conversation. And well, being called that, it's never something to be proud of.

"He's going to quit." I frowned my brows, not understanding her reaction.

"Well, he'll be a father soon. He has responsibilities now… and he needs to be careful in his job… because..."

"I could kill him..." She said in a lower voice. I closed my eyes, feeling my heart bump harder.

"He's just...being…"

"Cautious." She finished my own sentence, slightly uncomfortable.

"Taeyeon..."

"Tiffany..." My heart beat even faster upon hearing her calling me Tiffany. Yes. Definitely different from Yuri's. Definitely better. Definitely more charming. Definitely more pleasing to the ears.

"Yes..."

"Why... is everyone leaving?" It was like the world just stopped spinning. I was caught in silence, trying to understand how she was dealing with that, why that has such a big impact on her. My heart squeeze itself when I think of how she should be feeling right now, knowing that she is completely vulnerable to those situations.

"I'm...sorry..."

"What is going on?" And that was when it hit me. Taeyeon spent many days in the SHU, completely isolated from the world. I don't think she knows that the Asylum is on the verge of being closed down. I don't think she knows she is on the risk to be executed if something goes wrong and she injuries somebody. Maybe Ho Sung didn't want her to know it. He totally wants her dead. So, better not to tell her as she would hurt people and obliviously sentence herself to death.

"Huh… The Asylum is..." I exhaled, trying organizing my thoughts the best way I could. "It's facing some lawsuits on the court for the...people...you've...killed." I pulled more grass out of the ground. "Their families are asking for the facility to be close down. And some officers are leaving because they don't feel the Asylum is safe. Many believe that their jobs are on the risk now, so they rather quit and look for a new and a more secured job before..."

"I ruin everyone's lives."

"Taeyeon..." I wanted her to hug her, to comfort her somehow, but I ended up pulling more strings of grass out of the ground in frustration. She kept silent for a while.

"I'm sorry, Doc." She apologized. "I'm sorry about the hard time I've been giving you."

"You're not giving me a hard time." I denied, shaking my head sideways. "You never did. You don't need to apologize."

"I-" Whatever she was about to say she didn't because suddenly Yuri have just popped out in front of us, in her much tidy officer uniform, grabbing Taeyeon by the collar of her orange jumpsuit and pulling her closer to face her angry black eyes.

"Yuri..." I raised up from the ground, just ready to keep her away.

"Why?" She asked Taeyeon, her voice icy cold. "Why did you call me friend?"

"Yuri..." I felt my heart clench.

"Shh, you wanted me to ask her, didn't you, Tiffany? Now, I'm asking! Tell me, inmate! Why did you do that?"

Taeyeon blinked, not answering her question. Yuri tried once again. "Why? Why did you that to me? Why did you cheat on me?"

She didn't answer. She kept quiet, looking away from Yuri's gaze.

"Yuri, let her go..."

"Why did you fuck my girlfriend?" I gulped completely uncomfortable. "Answer me, inmate! I deserve to know." She shook her angrily by the collar.

"Because I wanted to." I closed my eyes, hearing the thuds of my heart. Out of all answers I expected to be, that was the only one I didn't want to hear from her.

Yuri scoffed, hurt and sarcastically. "And you still dare to call me friend? Fuck you, you little cunt!" Yuri threw her angrily on the floor. I knelled down beside Taeyeon, trying to help her stand up. "You're a liar, a traitor! That's why you don't have any one to be there for you!Because you stab them on their backs!"

"Yuri..." I called, asking her for to stop it.

"You're just a selfish piece of shit! I can't believe I called you friend once! I can't believe I ever trusted you!" Taeyeon still didn't say a word, but my heart missed a beat when I noticed a silent tear on her cheeks.

"Yuri, stop it."

"Stop what? Telling what this cunt really is! You should know it, Tiffany! You should know it that she will do the same with you. She will stab on your back and laugh at your face."

"Go away, Yuri..."

"Ah, now you sent me away? Where's that Doctor Tiffany who said that I needed to confront my struggles?"

"You're making everything wrong."

"Oh, Am I? Why? Because your fucking patient is crying fake tears?" She blurted it out angrily. "Is that what you want, inmate? Your doctor pitying you?"

And my jaw dropped when out of sudden, Yuri spat on her face. "There you go, inmate! Have more to make her pity you!"

"Yuri..."

"See, piece of shit? Your doctor is really touched right now..."

"What the hell is your problem?" I yelled out angrily, pushing her away.

"Doc..." My eyes opened wider when I heard her calling me. I turned around to her. "May… I… go back to my cell…?"

"Taeyeon..."

"Please." She kept her head down. And something was telling me that she was doing that to conceal her tears. I was caught between calming Yuri down or leading Taeyeon back to her room.

I gulped the lump in my throat and nodded my head, helping her to sit back on the wheelchair. She used the sleeve of her uniform to wipe the spit out of her face without saying anything. I gave a look to Yuri one last time and started pushing her chair towards the Penitentiary.

All I wanted was indeed Yuri talk to Taeyeon about her struggles, but not like that. That didn't help at all. It just made everything worse.

"I'm sorry about that." I apologized in Yuri's behalf after Taeyeon sat on her bad, her face washed and wiped from tears and saliva. She dragged herself all way to the wall behind her, leaning her head against it. I sighed and slightly awkward, I allowed myself to sit on the tip of her bed. "She is...just angry… She didn't mean it."

"She did it." I gritted my teeth. My chest kinda heavy for all the feelings I've been through the past few days. "It's, okay, Doc."

"Why did you do it?" I decided to ask her myself. My voice low and filled with sadness by what she would actually tell me. "Why did you..."

"Why did I fucked her girlfriend?" Shivers went down my spine. Please, don't tell me it was…

"Because I wanted to."

I gulped, feeling actually a tear come out from the corner of my eye. "How could you…? She was… Yuri's girlfriend..."

"She never liked Yuri."

My eyes widened. The thuds of my heart were louder and louder. "What?"

"When Soyeon came along, I approached her during recreation time, to talk to her and know more about herself. When I found out she was gay, I asked her to meet Yuri, to see if they could join up the dots. Yuri was having a hard time, she was lonely and totally uncomfortable to be around men in here. And she was deep in denial about her sexuality. I've met girls like Yuri before. And Soyeon was the totally opposite. She was homosexual and she never had any fear to hide it. I felt like it would do good to Yuri if those two could get along. So I kept insisting Soyeon to know Yuri better, to hang out with her after work and all that jazz." Only then I noticed I have clenched my fists tightly, feeling the ragged white sheets between my fingers.

"It didn't take long to Yuri fall in love for Soyeon. Maybe due to Soyeon being open about herself, maybe due to her being carefree and fun and that's what Yuri needed at that time. Whatever was the case, when Yuri confessed her feelings to Soyeon, Soyeon said she felt the same but in reality she didn't. Yuri fell for her way too fast for Soyeon develop any real feelings back for Yuri."

I shut my eyes, feeling those words gain so much weight on me.

"Soyeon was free, single and had much experience in relationship even though she was younger. She accepted to date Yuri because she thought the idea of dating a fellow officer was hot enough and that it would give her some advantages."

My heart started to beat faster. Not in excitement. In anger.

"But Yuri didn't want anyone to know about them. She was afraid that Old Man SM could fire her for that. Soyeon didn't like that. She wasn't receiving any congratulations for her work, Yuri was. Yuri was always more professional than Soyeon will ever be though. Then Yuri was promoted, and that rubbed Soyeon the wrong way. She started to get jealous. 'Why? Why uptight Yuri earns a promotion and I don't?' Soyeon started to complain."

My guts seemed to have been punched. I can't believe. I can't believe how childish and selfish that person was. Jesus. How the fuck Yuri fell in love with that woman? Why?

"After Yuri's promotion, Soyeon started to be even closer to me. And after a while, I noticed her looks, smirks and flirts. What could I do, Doc?"

I stood silent, blinking.

"She was Yuri's girlfriend." She enunciated it. "She was the one who should be faithful to Yuri, not me."

But still…

"She's an officer. She should have known it was illegal...not me."

But still…

"If she gets caught, she would be the one in trouble, not me."

But still…

"And I realized that Yuri deserved someone better."

...

"Someone who could like her for real and could fuck her real good. Not whiny Soyeon."

…

"So I had sex with Soyeon. Getting rid of some dust in me, to know if I can still be up to it. Whiny Soyeon became Needy Soyeon. And when she visited me on the hospital room, I had sex with her right there under the cameras so Yuri could see it."

…

"I knew she was the one in charge to check the recordings at that time and I thought that if she saw it and told Old Man SM, Soyeon would be fired and the SM would be even more inclined to have Yuri as the warden. But Yuri took months to do that. It was only when SM announced Ho Sung as the warden that Yuri told SM about Soyeon and I. It was just too late."

…

"When I heard pussy Ho became the warden I've got mad. How could Yuri do that to herself? How could she do that to me? I was counting the days Yuri would assume the position in this shithole, but no! Oh, no! FUCKING YURI didn't want to give her whiny girlfriend away because of her stupid tight sense of righteousness! Because she wanted to give her a second chance!"

…

"Well, that made her lost her chance. It made lost my chance! It made lost everyone's chance! That woman as the warden was the only one who could make us get away from this cesspool! But Yuri threw all that away! Gosh, I was so angry that day! I wished Yuri had killed me so I wouldn't need to look at her stupid face ever again!"

…

"But that woman couldn't even have the decency to do that! Oh, NO! She let me live! She let me live so I could be stuck, trapped in these walls, wearing this fucking jumpsuit!"

It was then that my senses have seemed to be back at place. And that only happened because I heard a gasp outside the cell. Both Taeyeon and I opening our eyes a tad wider.

"Yuri…?"

* * *

My heart raced it beats as I heard the gasp coming from outside. Taeyeon looked away and I managed to read her lips saying 'Fuck'. I instantly got up from the bed going outside. I lost my ability to speak as I found Yuri there, the tears flooding her face and her head shaking sideways, as if it want to deny everything she just overheard.

I went to her, hugging her tightly, trying to give her some support. She sniffed on my shoulder, still shaking her head.

"No… it's not true." I heard her talk to herself. I sighed, feeling awful for Yuri at that moment.

"Yuri… look..."

"It's not true, Doc."

"I really think you two should talk..." I stepped backwards, wiping the trail of tears from her face with my thumb. "Please. Talk to her." I said grabbing Yuri's wrist and pulling her with me to get inside.

I got hurt when Taeyeon rolled her eyes angrily.

"Taeyeon… please..."

"Please what?" She answered coldly.

"Talk to her."

"Get her out of here." She said harshly turning her face away. "I don't want to look at her stupid face."

"No."

"Get her out." She commanded.

"Stop it!" I said louder. "Both of you! Jesus, What the heck is wrong with you two?"

"I don't want to see her in here. Get her out."

"No! You two need to talk!"

"Talk about what? Soyeon and her stupid girlfriend?" She mocked and all I wanted was to Taeyeon be quiet and listen to me.

"Stop calling her stupid! Yuri is your friend, is she not?" I got nearer her, my voice surprisely a tone higher than usual when I used to talk to her. "Are you gonna lie to me? Are you gonna lie that you called her friend?"

I saw her gritting her teeth.

"She is not my friend!" I heard Yuri say angrily. "Don't trust her, Doctor! She's making those things up!"

"Yuri..."

"See, Doc? She's stupid." I may like Taeyeon but that attitude of hers was really nerve-wrecking.

"How can you be so condescending?" I blurted it out. "Can't you see Yuri is having a hard time? Why do you need to call her stupid? To make her feel even more miserable? Just stop!"

"Get her out." She commanded again, rising from the bed.

"No. I won't get her out! She's gonna stay and you two will talk!"

"I don't want to talk."

"It's not about what you want. It's about what you need!"

"And you think I need to talk to her?" She scoffed, making me angry. "You think I need to tell her how stupid she was to believe in Soyeon? Well, then! So be it! Congratulations, Yuri! Good job loving a whore!"

My eyes snapped wide open when I saw Yuri suddenly launching herself into Taeyeon, pushing her against the wall, her hands firmly pressed around Taeyeon's throat.

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!"

"Yuri!" I cried, feeling my chest burn as she tighten the grip of her hands on Taeyeon's throat. Yuri was strong, given the fact the Taeyeon's feet were hanging from the ground.

"How dare you? HUH?" Yuri accused again. "You think you know everything? You don't! Shut the fuck up! Soyeon liked me! She really did!"

"Let her go, Yuri."

"Don't listen to her, Tiffany! She's just saying that so you can see her as a good person! She's fooling you!"

"Let her go!" I said louder. When Yuri released her, Taeyeon fell to the floor, coughing. Easy to notice the red marks of Yuri's fingers on her neck. With tears in her eyes and anger in her heart, Yuri grabbed Taeyeon closer by the collar again.

"How dare you, inmate? Spreading those lies about Soyeon?"

"Yuri..." I called, feeling miserable right now.

"Tell her, inmate! Tell her you're lying!"

"What do you want?" I heard Taeyeon's voice, still shaken by the choking. "What do you want me to say, officer? That it felt good being with Soyeon?" I turned my head to her. "And that it had been a long time since I have felt like that?" My heart started to beat even faster. "That I liked there was an officer willing to risk her career to be closer to me?"

The thuds of my heart were louder and louder by what Taeyeon was saying. "That it felt good to have someone out there for me? Who liked my jokes, my books, my voice, my touch?" Wait… what? What was going on? "That it felt good... not being alone again?"

I gulped, wiping my silent tear from my cheeks. "I could tell you a thousand stories about me and Soyeon, officer. I could tell how sweet and lovely our sessions were. Or how rough and hot they were. How she loved my voice by her ear or how I loved how desperate she was for me..." I gritted my teeth, looking away in jealousy. "Her eyes were all inviting and her skin was so smooth and soft. It felt amazing. It felt amazing to have Soyeon there, accepting me, trusting me, despite everything."

Yuri didn't bother wiping her tears away. "You still wouldn't believe in me." I closed my eyes, gulping the lump in my throat. "I could tell you a thousand tales about Soyeon and I, Yuri… and you still wouldn't believe in me."

"I could tell you my most intimate secret and you still wouldn't believe me." I looked down, wondering how many things she keeps secret within herself. I clenched my fists angrily. "So why does it bother what version I tell, Yuri? If you're not gonna believe in none of them anyway?"

Yuri released the grip off from her collar, still shaken by all she was hearing.

"What is the truth?" I heard her ask Taeyeon, her voice angrily and firmly.

"The truth is that...I had sex with Soyeon."

"Why?"

"I said it before. Because I wanted to." She answered coldly. "I could tell a thousand tales about Soyeon and I and the truth in all of them is that… I had sex with Soyeon. Because I wanted to."

I didn't like it. My guts twisted around in anger. I didn't like one bit that Taeyeon had sex with that woman. The scenes my own mind was playing on my head was making me angry and jealous. Who was that Soyeon? How she could have Taeyeon to like her in an extent that made them have sex?

"I may have my own reasons for that but in the end of day…above all... I did it because I wanted to."

"Please...tell me… that Soyeon did like me."

There was a brief moment before Taeyeon saying it. "She did like you." But I felt like it was lie. And I wasn't the only one who noticed that.

"Why are you lying?"

"Because you asked me to."

I wiped my lone tear on my cheek.

"Was that a lie then? Was all but a lie? Soyeon and I?"

I shut my eyes, praying for some strength in my spirit to carry on inside that cell, listening to that talk, without succumbing to my most miserable feelings.

"Are you really gonna tell me everything was just a play for your fucked up game?" She asked still having trouble to believe in what she just heard a couple of seconds ago.

"It wasn't a game." Taeyeon replied, her voice was cold but it didn't seem to be filled anger anymore. "I'm not an evil mastermind controlling everything. I can't control people. I can't control Soyeon liking you or not. I can't control anything. I wanted you to meet Soyeon because I thought it would do some good for you meeting someone like her."

"Because I'm boring?!" Taeyeon didn't answer. Yuri nodded, her head hanging in embarrassment and humiliation.

"Why you called me friend?" Yuri asked bluntly.

Taeyeon was quiet for a while. She turned her head down. "I was hallucinating." Why? Why was she running away again? "I don't know what I thought..."

"Taeyeon..." I called her, my voice soft and sad for her behavior.

"You said I was the last one, what does it mean?" I felt my heart clench inside my chest.

"I was delusional. It meant nothing..."

"It did!" Yuri confronted. "If meant nothing, you wouldn't cry like you did." And that was when I noticed Taeyeon being vulnerable again. "What you mean by that? Why am I the only one who's left?"

"You're not!"

"You said I was."

"I was lying!"

"No, you're not." Taeyeon scoffed ironically.

"So you refuse to believe me when I talk about Soyeon but you easily accept my cries because I called you friend?"

"Why am I your only friend?"

"You're not!" She replied angrily, standing up, to face Yuri. "Are you serious? Is your head so far up your own ass that you think You're my _only_ friend?" Taeyeon snorted, grinning hard. "I'm not boring like you, Yuri! I have thousands of friends!"

"How come they never come to see you?" I noticed Taeyeon wipe out the fake grin on her face. "I never see you having a single visitation throughout all this time."

"They just don't like this place." She said shrugging her shoulders. "They don't feel like this place is for little girls like me...They are right, you know? It isn't. They don't like me trapped in these walls, but they are all outside, waiting for me..."

"Waiting for you?"

"Yes, waiting for me. We will have a blast, my friends and I! We will have some korean barbecue and some lemon suju, maybe some tequila and mojito... and I'd finally meet him again..."

I caught myself thinking that she was probably talking about Heechul. I don't know who that man is, but I'd like to know what happened that made Taeyeon being so attached to him. At the same time what Yuri said earlier made an itch on me. If Taeyeon has _thousands_ of friends, which I don't believe she has but at least _a couple of them_ she should have… _so_ where are they? How they don't come to see her? Is Heechul her best friend? Well, if he is, then she should be important to him as well but where is he? Does he really think it was the best not to see her in this place? Does he really think that Taeyeon being alone here is the best way?

"You think my only friend is a boring and uninteresting person like you, officer?" I gritted my teeth upon hearing her saying that. "Someone so uptight her own officer girlfriend ditches her for an inmate?"

My heart was beating in fast pace, not only for their confrontation but for something there was on my mind, that perhaps, it was there all the time but both of them never really bothered to see it.

I thought about it before, how the two of them seemed to be like a married couple who could only squarel most of time but occasionally they would share some mutual feelings for respect to each other… even though they couldn't realize it. I could be seeing to much in them but…Taeyeon and Yuri were… hm… they were… kinda… similar.

Yuri has some personal issues about being gay, not fully accepting herself. And because of that, Yuri is very lonely… not having many friends, or even girlfriends in her life, for the fear of living in constant discrimination. And her strict personality allows people to see her as someone uptight, boring and uninteresting. She doesn't understand why Taeyeon is so popular despite being a bloody criminal and she is really insecure about herself because she feels like nobody really likes her.

And…huh...Taeyeon, despite being extremely likeable just like Yuri had told me, she's also very… lonely. She has some severe trust issues, fearing abandonment at any given time. People seem to easily be gone from her life for whatever reason, and she seems to not understand why they have to leave in the first place.

" _Why people always leave me? Why I can't make them stay? What is wrong with me,_ _Doc_ _?"_ Maybe that's why Taeyeon has trust issues. Because no one comes to see her. She feels like she was left behind, abandoned, and nobody cares what's happening to her.

" _Why people can't like me, Doc? Why do I have end up alone at the end of the day?"_ Yuri asked me once.

They are both extremely insecure about it. Taeyeon didn't want to see Yuri leaving, despite all the bickering and arguments between the two. Yuri is here at the Asylum for a while, almost 5 years, it's just about the same time Taeyeon has been here around for too. Taeyeon saw many people leaving, she saw her friends and family members not bothering to come here, she saw many officers, doctors and even inmates leaving this place... but Yuri stood. She stood for all those years. Even after Taeyeon had sex with Soyeon, Yuri stood at the Asylum.

Maybe… Yuri was the only person that Taeyeon believed it wouldn't never leave. Upon seeing Yuri talking like she wanted to quit, Taeyeon broke down because out of all people, Yuri wasn't the one supposed to go away.

" _Taeyeon lied to me. Soyeon lied to me. And now you're lying. It seems like everyone lies to me."_ Yuri told me yesterday. It's not different from what Taeyeon herself had told me once upon a time as well.

" _Everybody lies. Everybody lies to me."_

Taeyeon took the left path, Yuri took the right one. But both of them were hurt by essentially the same issues even them being opposite personalities. And maybe that thin line is what makes them deep down there care for each other. Yuri could let Taeyeon die if she wanted to, she could just not tell Lee Soonkyu about me and then Taeyeon would be executed. But she cared enough to save her one last time. She cares enough to actually not report me to Ho Sung about my feelings for that woman.

Taeyeon cares enough to still want Yuri as the warden of this place. She hid the truth away about Soyeon and take the blame herself for what happened between the two. It doesn't matter what is the real story about Soyeon and Taeyeon, Taeyeon will still take the blame for it herself. Because she wants to. If it's true that Soyeon never liked Yuri, then, Taeyeon hid that away so Yuri wouldn't be hurt. If it's true that Taeyeon sort of liked Soyeon companionship, she hid that away so Yuri wouldn't be hurt as well. Taeyeon is right. Whether story she tells us, the common truth in all of them is that she had sex with Soyeon, and that she's willing to take the blame for it so Yuri wouldn't be so hurt by the actions of her former girlfriend. Maybe because Taeyeon feels guilty about what she did, maybe because she feels sorry for how Soyeon fooled Yuri and used her as an asset only, I don't know. But the truth is, in the end of the day, Taeyeon just wanted Yuri to find a girlfriend. Soyeon just wasn't the right one.

In the end of the day, both of them, just didn't want to be alone.

I wiped my tears upon realizing that. "We are on the same boat, aren't we?" I heard Yuri say at last. Yuri scoffed realizing that. "We both wanted something and we lost. And now here we are...no one there for us."

That seemed to get Taeyeon surprised. She blinked, clueless, for that random observation.

"I'm not alone!" She retorted.

"Of course you aren't… You've got the doctor." That made my eyes widen when I took those words in. Taeyeon looked at me, blinking her eyes. "You've got… Soyeon... That time." Yuri kept saying. "But you still feel lonely, don't you?"

I gulped the lump in my throat. I didn't want Taeyeon to feel lonely, but I couldn't lie to myself. After 5 years in here, no one visiting her, the asylum on the verge to be closed, Taeyeon should be feeling extremely alone right now. The silent tear on her own cheek gave the answer away.

Yuri scoffed kinda ironically. "I thought… I thought we...were completely different… You and I. Me being the officer and you being the inmate… but… I guess… we're not that different, are we?" Yuri shook her head sideways, wiping her tears as well. "I'm sorry." She apologized for something I didn't understand. "I'm sorry for… taking so long to tell old man SM about you and Soyeon. I'm sorry about not being… the warden." Taeyeon stood quiet, her black hair covering her face as she kept her head down. "I'm sorry...for...spitting in your...face." Yuri nodded her head. "Next time...just... don't fuck my girlfriend."

I saw the corner of Taeyeon's lips turn upwards, in a muffled smile. She nodded her head as well and when she raised her gaze to Yuri, I saw them gleam with light. There was no anger, no hard feelings, no resentfulness. It was a soft glare.

"I promise." I heard Taeyeon say and I couldn't help smiling to myself. Yuri sighed, feeling relieved by whatever was her burden towards Taeyeon. That's why I why wanted them to talk. It's not about forgiveness, it's about let the struggles out. "I'm sorry… about Soyeon."

"I should've known all along that she was no good for me."

"And I should've told you that."

Yuri sighed, maybe feeling relieved after that talk, and nodding her head she turned around to leave the unit.

"Yuri..." Taeyeon called before she could leave. "You're _not_ boring." I felt my heart beating in my ears, my feelings being to much to handle the tears of joy from hearing her say that. It was so little but it felt like so much, and Yuri was probably feeling too much as well. She stopped, immobile, by the door, just taking those words in. "In my opinion… you're much better than Soyeon."

"It was beautiful to see you two finally making things right between you two." I said, finding Yuri at the Archive soon after leaving Taeyeon resting in her cell. She wiped the tears out of her face as well, her cheeks were blushing pink.

"Did you hear that? She said I'm not boring!" I chuckled as Yuri's waved her own face, trying to not be so carried away by that.

"I've told you that before."

"It's different." She said, using a tissue to clean her face. "You won't understand."

"I do." I smiled. "I really do understand." Yuri nodded her head.

"Thank you, Doctor. Thank you for everything you've done for me." I smiled and made my way to Yuri, engulfing her in a tight hug.

"Just remember… I'm here to help." I felt Yuri hugging me back, leaning her chin on my shoulder. "And remember… you're not alone. You've got me, too."

"Thank you, Tiffany." There it is, Yuri calling me Tiffany when she is grateful to me. It's much better for sure.

"You're welcome."

"I'm proud of you." I said, helping Taeyeon to sit down on her bed after she had her dinner and her night shower.

"You are?"

"You didn't run away from the confrontation and you stepped down from your pride-self to apologize for your mistakes. It was nice to see it."

"That's why you were crying the whole time?" I fel t my cheeks blush for her smirking.

"I was crying because I was happy to see you both getting along..."

"Wimp."

"What? I'm an emotional person."

"Too much for your own good to be honest." She said dragging herself backwards to lean back on the wall.

"I can't help it."

"You're lucky I'm your patient, toots..." I smiled upon hearing that.

"Yeah? Why? Because you won't hurt me?"

"Yeah…. Because I won't hurt you." She confirmed, nodding her head, grinning mischievously.

I grinned as well, happy to hear that. "But thank you." She nodded her head. "I guess it did some good talking to her."

"See? I'm a good doctor!"

"Yes, you're." I blinked for a moment, immobile by her words. "But don't be so condescending… You're just good enough." Did Kim Taeyeon really say that I was a good doctor? Am I hallucinating?

"Better be enough than too much."

"Especially when talking about emotional levels." I chuckled. And staring at her dark orbs, I realized then how much I liked that girl. For a moment there, it was just Taeyeon and I, in a room, staring at each other as if we could read each others minds.

My heart was beating in my ears and I felt my face all flustered when I realized I zone out for a minute. "I..."

"Gotta go?"

I nodded my head. "G-goodnight, Taeyeon."

"Goodnight, Doc."

And even with my legs turning into jelly, I managed to get out from that cell.

To say I had a good night was an overstatement. I had an awful night, barely able to sleep for all the memories and sensation my bastard body was feeling. I forced myself to not get carried away by them again, so I didn't release myself, I didn't dare to. So all the frustration hit me during the whole night and I was so tired by the morning that I forgot to put my contacts on and had to wear my glasses instead.

Yuri made a joke how unrecognizable I was wearing those frames and Yoona was a bit more gentle, saying I looked cute. "Different, but cute nonetheless" was her actual words. I don't like wearing glasses, it marks the sides of my noses and above all makes me look like a completely nerd. Not proud of that.

I was looked everywhere I went because of how unfamiliar the people were with me wearing glasses. But no look was more mortifying than Taeyeon's. She was constantly blinking while looking at my face, her face slightly turned to the left, as if she wasn't really recognizing me.

She didn't say a word all the way Lee Sungmin was with us but as soon as he left us alone at the yard, I saw the corner of her lips tugging upwards.

"Just shut up." I said it before she could do any joke of hers.

"I'm quiet."

"I know you want to joke me."

"Because you wear glasses? 85% of Koreans wear glasses, toots. You're not a special snowflake."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Of course! You're just a framed-snowflake." I rolled my eyes and she giggled.

"Oh, stop it!"

"Eye Eye, Capta'n!" I sighed, trying to ignore her own laughter as she took a bite of the apple in her hand. "What did you say when you arrived here? What a spectacle of morning?"

"Taeyeon!"

"Ah, okay, Eye got it." That woman...Jesus… she will spend the entire day pissing me out with those silly jokes of hers. "Hey, Doc..." I noticed her voice become more serious, upon noticing that, I looked at her. "Is it alright if I don't use the wheel chair today? I feel like my ass is sore to be sitting in this shit for so long." She irked her face as she wanted to make her point across. And well, it must be really uncomfortable.

"It's up to you." I replied. "If you don't want it, then, don't use it."

"So when you put your glasses you become nicer, huh?" She smirked turning to me. I blinked. "Should've put them all along, Doc!" She didn't waste time in getting up from the chair, flexing her muscles around to warm them up.

"What? What are you talking about it?"

" _It's not about what you want, Taeyeon, it's about what you need."_ She mocked, imitating what I told her the day before.

"It's totally different situations."

"And you can easily spot that difference now, can't you?" I didn't say a word but she soon finished off her grin. "Why the grumpy face? You used to laugh at my bad jokes." She turned her head to the right.

I felt my heart racing its beats again. I was little by little getting used to that.

I shook my head, averting my eyes from hers. "I just don't like wearing glasses." I answered honestly.

"Why not? You look good with them."

"Really?" My cheeks blushed when I heard that.

"Yeah… makes you look like a real doctor."

"But I'm a real doctor!"

"You don't look like one. The frames is a good touch, it gives you the usual bitchiness of doctors."

"How is that a compliment?" I asked raising my brows, slightly offended by it.

"It makes you look intimidating."

"I don't want to look intimidating."

"Why not? Being intimidating is awesome! It makes people respect you!"

"It makes people fear you. They don't respect you… they avoid you. It's not a good thing."

"Yes it is." Taeyeon took another bite of the apple. "Avoid people the best you can, Doc."

"My job is to take care of people, to help with their issues and struggles. I can't avoid them."

"How many people you've helped, toots?"

"Many." I replied proudly.

"And you will help me?" I looked at her, staring at her dark eyes again.

"Of course I will!"

She smiled, taking another bite of the apple. She bowed to me, although I thought she was actually trying to stretch herself up, but I ended up smiling back to her.

I blinked when I felt something fall on the top of my head. I looked up and saw the sky greyish, thin rain drops falling from above.

"It's raining." I left it out.

Taeyeon smiled and that was when I remembered Taeyeon actually likes the rain.

"You wanna stay?" I asked her.

She nodded her head. "I'd love to."

My whole body shook as I heard her saying that word. Love. What does she love? Has she ever loved someone? Did she love Soyeon? Even though we are close… well closer than regular doctor-patient, I actually didn't know. I know more of Taeyeon day by day, how she is lonely than what she perceives, how she has much more of a homebody personality than an outgoing on, how she is more grateful to me than I believed; but at the same time… I still didn't know much of hers. I still didn't know about her family, nor her friends, and I still don't have the guts already to ask her about Heechul. What if she gets mad at me? What if she hurts Sooyoung? What if she has a real episode of hers? It's something I don't really wanna see it. I know that as a doctor, I should be bolder, but… it's Taeyeon. And she is very unpredictable.

"Doc..." I heard her call me. Her voice sounded concerned.

"Yes?"

"Huh… I think we've got a problem." She pointed her finger to the gate and that was when I saw the civilians who were camping outside, pushing themselves to get in. Two officers were trying to hold the gate and as the rain became more powerful, more people started to shout. I stood up immediately, making my way till the gate.

"What's going on?" I asked upon finally getting near the officers, feeling my clothes to be much heavier. My hair completely wet.

"The weather is getting bad, and they are pushing in, asking for shelter. We don't know what to do!" An officer named Jeong answered.

"We can't let them in!" The other officer shouted.

"We have to!" Taeyeon said suddenly among them. "If we keep resisting, the gate might get broken."

"OPEN THE GATES ALREADY!" Some people on the crowd shouted.

"It's dangerous!"

"We can't let them in!"

"We have to!" Taeyeon insisted.

"Just mind your own business!" Officer Jeong shouted at her. Taeyeon rolled her eyes, angrily.

"You want them to break the gates and have a stampede to happen here?' I supported Taeyeon's idea. It was the best way. "You gotta let them in!"

"Officer Ming here, we need back up at the yard! Fast as you can, Over!" I heard the officer say through his speakers.

The gate screeched as the people kept pushing in. Taeyeon got herself between the officers, trying to hold the gate in place. At her side, I did the same.

"What? What is going on?" I heard Yuri's voice through Officer Jeong's speakers.

"The people outside the gates they are trying to come in!"

"What?"

"We need help at the yard! They are pushing themselves to get in, we don't know what to do! You gotta help, Kwon!"

"I'm on my way!"

Soon enough, most of the officers of the Asylum were trying to contain the people outside the gates from getting in.

"OPEN THE GATES!" "OPEN THE GATES!" They shouted!

"STAND BACK!" Yuri shouted using her arms to make the crowd step back. "WE NEED SOME COOPERATION HERE! STAND BACK!" They didn't.

"OPEN THE GATES!"

"HEY! NO NEED TO PUSH!" Taeyeon suddenly shouted angrily to the crowd. They instantly got quiet. Maybe the orange uniform scared them out. "WE WILL LET YOU IN!" The crowd cheered loudly. The sound of thunder echoed in our ears. "BUT YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP PUSHING THE GATE!"

"What the fuck are you doing?" One of the officers pushed her to the side. "Those people won't come in!"

"They have to!" Yuri seconded. "We can't let them break the gate! Let them in! Sungmin! Take some officers with you, go to the refectory and take the tables out so we would have enough room to shelter those people!"

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Kwon?"

"JUST GO!"

"Yes, sir!" Three officers followed Sungmin behind. Without their support, the gate bent down a little by the crowd pushing themselves.

"This is such a bad idea!" I heard an officer complain.

"PLEASE, STAND BACK!" Officer Choi shouted.

"We need them to form a line, so they wouldn't run mindless towards the Penitentiary." Yuri advised.

"PLEASE, ALL OF YOU, QUEUE HERE!" Officer Kim pointed to the left side of the gate. The crowd proceeded to do what they were told, the huge movement making people fight for first spots.

"Byun, Park! Take the inmates back to their cells!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Kim, Choi! You'll open the gates. Don't open too much, or they will try rush in. Let them get in one by one."

"Yes, sir!"

"Doctor Hwang?" I blinked when I heard her call my name.

"Yes..." I stepped closer, ready to help with anything.

"What are you doing here?" She asked frowning her brows.

"Huh..."

"You want to help?"

"Yes!" I confirmed.

"Go to the laundry, and get some towels and blankets for those people..."

"Yes, sir!" I replied instantly. And wasting no time, I went to the laundry.

By the time I got back to the refectory with a trolly full of clean towels and blankets, most people were already inside, sitting on the floor as the tables have been removed from the place. I noticed most of them were females in their middle age, but I also saw some males, and even some families with their kids.

"You can get a cold." I heard someone say beside me and I smiled upon seeing Yoona.

"It's okay." I dismissed the fact that my clothing was wet and I could really get a cold. The rain was still going strong outside and there wasn't any sign to go away very soon.

"You're so engaged in this..." She commented, finding it funny.

"I want to help."

"You're a good person, Tiffany." She tapped my shoulder lightly. "I'm happy you're back."

I smiled. "Me too."

"We'll have a major problem if the rain doesn't stop though."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded. The thing is… the inmates have their schedule to have their lunch and if the rain doesn't stop, those civilians will need to stay here. I was praying for the rain go away before lunchtime. It would be a disaster if inmates and those people meet each other.

My eyes widened when I saw Taeyeon get inside the medical center beside Yuri, escorting the last people inside. My heart beating with pride and contentment. She came closer to me and as if I had been struck by a shocking wave, I felt all the hair of my body go up. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore it.

"You alright, doc?" She asked me. Taeyeon took a towel to dry her face and a bit of her hair.

"It's really nice of you to help us, miss Kim." Yoona said gently.

"Well, it's the least I could do after all the trouble I caused." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Wow… Tiffany really changed you for the better, didn't she?"

Taeyeon smiled. "I guess she could _see_ through me."

Yoona giggled along and I found myself having trouble to breathe. I needed some air. I needed some space. Why I was suddenly feeling like this? Why it was so burdensome to be around her like that? In order to calm me down, I excused myself, making my way back to the laundry to get more towels and blankets.

When I got there, I sat down for a while, my hand clenching my shirt right at my heart. I needed to calm down.

"Doc?" I heard her voice and I gritted my jaw. "You alright?" Taeyeon asked walking inside the area.

"It's alright." I replied not even looking at her.

"It doesn't look like it."

"It is."

"I'm sorry, okay, it's the last one..." Taeyeon apologized.

"It's alright... I'm sorry, Taeyeon... I just...need to be alone."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just want to be alone."

"Take those damn glasses off!" She complained, taking my frames suddenly off from my face.

"Hey! Gimme that!" I said, standing up, my vision now blurry by my short-sightedness.

"You're boring with these!"

"Just give it to me!"

"Try get them, Mrs Magoo." She giggled while going further away.

"Taeyeon!" I called back trying to reach her to get my frames back. "Gimme those!"

"What happened? Can't you spy with your little eye?" She laughed out loud, annoying me to the bits.

"Just, stop it!" I said angrily, pushing her and locking her to the wall behind her.

What did happen soon though, was my body instantly freezing, paralyzed at the feeling against my hand. My cheeks blushed tenfold as my whole body caught awareness of the situation.

All I felt was the softness of her touch as her hand moved from my neck and cupped the side of my face, her thumb moving back and forth along my cheekbone just like she did once before. I forgot about my job, and my position, I forgot about who she was and what that meant. I forgot about where we were and the illegal act we were doing… I forgot about everything. For a moment there, it was just Taeyeon and I, in a laundry, staring at each other as if nothing else mattered.

It didn't really matter.

Her eyes darkened and I noticed her gaze lower to my lips. My heart was beating in my ears as her lips were just inches away from my own now. Her breathing hit my face and I closed my eyes, my body all alight for it.

I wrapped my hands around her and pressed my lips against hers, the moan finally coming from within me. I leaned in and tugged on her bottom lip pulling her in. As her hands traveled upwards of their own accord, daring to rest one hand on the back of my neck, and her other wrapped on my waist, the kiss gained some speed and roughness. I gasped into her mouth as she slid her tongue against my own.

Oh, God.

I tasted the sweetness of it and completely melted at her touch, allowing myself to enjoy the kiss for as long as I could. Taeyeon broke the kiss and made me gasp as she moved and kissed me on my pulse points down my neck. I was about to die in her arms when I felt her fingertips just on my waist, under my shirt. They weren't moving but the feeling I had with her fingers just barely touching my skin was out of this world. A guttural moaning menaced from within me when I felt her fingers going up softly, reaching the sides of my bra. And when she moved them down, the slightly touch of her fingernails made my muscles jerk in excitement.

Oh, God.

My eyes shut down as it was too much burdensome to open them. The feelings I had with them closed were much more powerful. My heart was racing as never had it done before and my fingers and toes curled hard as her torturous fingernails were grazing me softly on my waist. She kissed me one more time and when her fingers moved to my abdomen, my mouth opened at the feeling of pure ecstasy.

Oh, God.

This is amazing.

She quickly turned me around and made me sit on the desk. My eyes were opened for the sudden movement and the muscles of my thighs squeezed themselves even tighter as I saw her getting closer and placing herself between my legs. I curled my toes when her hand move up on my thigh.

When I felt her tongue on my neck, slowly licking it up, I was gone. The pleasure becoming too great to handle. I was ready to climax just from that lick on my neck. The feeling of her fingertips in my skin combine with her tongue was just surreal.

Unconsciously my hips wiggled as Taeyeon used her hands to unbutton my oxford shirt. Oh, God.

No.

It needs to stop.

Stop, Tiffany!

I pulled myself away, panted heavily after forgetting to breathe. We were still pressed together and it seemed we were just relishing in the moment, just holding each other...something so simple yet so extraordinary.

"Tae..." I breathed out, my face all flustered. Opening my eyes and staring at her dark orbs, I realized how hard I had fallen for this woman. Jesus, I'm so lost… "I..."

"Gotta go?"

"We… can't… do this. We..." I gulped, feeling all the excitement and the fluster of my body burning inside me. Taeyeon kissed my lips again, but she let go of them pretty quickly.

"I'm sorry. Got carried away."

"We can't be… anything more...than doctor-patient..." I gulped hard, trying to tell that myself.

"Yes, we can." She murmured, making me blush. "But if you don't wanna, then we won't." She put my frames back on my face and smiled. I froze up while my eyes did all the moving for me, scanning over her perfect features - her lips, cheeks, her eyes and nose.

"Thank you." I said with a nod of my head, glad that she is somehow willing to respect that.

She gave me another peck on my lips. She tapped my cheek and turn around to leave. And I staring at her eyes one more time I found myself falling even deeper for that girl.

I found myself...loving that girl.


	4. Chapter 4

The moment she left the laundry, I closed my eyes. The feelings inside of me still there, almost coming to the surface. I breathed out, trying to cool me down. I need to be strong. I can't lose my composure. I'll see Taeyeon often and I can't let that get in our way. We just can't be anything more than what we are. It's wrong. It's illegal. It's dangerous. It doesn't matter my feelings for her, I shall not cross that line.

"What are you doing to me, Kim Taeyeon?" I asked myself, shaking my head as if the denial of it would make that go away. It didn't. "How did I let this happen?"

After washing my face and buttoning up my shirt, I finally got back to the Refectory, where it where all civilians were, with more blankets and towels. My eyes instantly searched for Taeyeon but I didn't managed to find her. Yoona and Lee Sungmin helped me giving blankets and towels to the crowd as everybody was already inside. The rain was getting stronger and the thunders up on the sky just told us it would take a while to go away.

As I approached a young woman, I noticed a little girl by her side. She was very young, seven to eight years old judging by her height. Her hair and her clothing were damp by the rain and she was holding her teddy bear tightly as if she was scared by the sounds of thunder. Probably was. I lowered myself to my knees and gave her a blanket.

"Thank you, Unnie." I smiled as she said that. But my smile cut short when I heard a voice echoing in the refectory through the speakers on the ceiling.

" _Kwon Yuri, come to my office immediately."_ I instantly looked around for Yuri and I saw her cuss annoyed. I got up and went to her.

"You want me to go with you?"

She shook her head. "Don't get involve in this, Tiffany. You're here to take care of that inmate, you don't need unnecessary trouble."

"But..."

"I took the decision to let these people in and I have to deal with them. It has nothing to do with you. Stay with Kim." She told me ready to leave. "Where is she by the way?"

My eyes traveled away. "Huh..." She frowned. "I… I don't -."

Yuri tugged my arm and pulled me to the corner far from the officers and the crowd. "What you mean you don't know? She left saying she would look for you." And she found me, we also made out. But I wouldn't tell Yuri that.

"I went to the laundry to get more towels and blankets and-"

"You can't let an inmate by herself in here, Tiffany!"

"Taeyeon won't hurt anybody!"

"It's not about her getting someone's hurt. You can't let that inmate running free in here!"

"I didn't… I..."

"Look, I gotta go, okay? But you need to find that inmate!"

I didn't have time to say anything else as Yuri left me dumbfounded and went to meet Ho Sung in his office. I gritted my teeth and sighed, giving one last look around that place and went back to the laundry to see if Taeyeon was miraculously there. She wasn't.

I left the laundry and started looking for her everywhere. Archive: nope. My former officer: nope. Where the hell was she?

As I walked past the showers, I heard the sound of streaming water. I blinked. "Taeyeon?" I called, in a low voice, walking in. I saw the orange jumpsuit hanging on the door of one stall and I knew it belonged to her. I exhaled, relieved to have finally found her, and sat on the bench waiting for her to finish it.

I tried to calm down my pounding heart, closing my eyes. My palms started to sweat as the sound of the shower was consistently on. She was just there, meters away from me, completely naked, under the shower. And I was trying to tell my mind to forget about that.

My eyes soon gazed at the white shirt on the floor. The white shirt she wore beneath her orange jumpsuit. I felt my heart beating in my ears again. Extremely anxious I made my way towards it, grabbing it from the floor to put it back in place. I stuck there for a second and closing my eyes, I held the shirt under my nose and inhaled it. The alien on my stomach moved its tentacles mercilessly as I felt her smell on that shirt. My toes curled upon smelling the sweet aroma from it.

Oh, God. It smelled so good.

As I heard the sound of the water stop, I gulped, feeling me panicking inside. How am I supposed to look at her after what happened? How am I supposed to look at her and pretend I don't feel anything? How am I supposed to look at her there barely naked? No, I can't. I can't do this.

Leaving her shirt on the floor, I left that place before I could meet her once again. As if I had ran ten miles, my breathing got completely out of pace. Yes, I knew I was running away. I knew I was avoiding her like the devil. But I couldn't just be there at that room all alone with her again.

I don't think I've ever been so conflicted in my entire life. Do I run away? Do I face her? How long it will take for us to not be awkward to each other? How long it will take till we forget that mistake and move on?

I don't know. What I know is that… Yuri was right. Taeyeon got me right under her little finger.

"You alright, Doc?"

My heart just went crazy inside my chest. I gulped hard, shutting my eyes, not daring to look at her. "Doc?" I didn't answer. I heard her sigh beside me. "Okay, let me guess. You're conflicted right now because I'm an inmate and you're my doctor and the moral code of Medics is never become so intimate with your patients. And now you don't know what to do because you want to run away but you also need to take care of me, and you're afraid of what will be of us and the inevitable awkward interactions with each other."

...

My eyes instantly opened. Dark brown eyes greeted me and it was disturbing how easily enslaved I was by them. Each time I met her, I had to fight the gripping urge to fall back into those dark brown eyes of hers. I curled my toes, trying to dig my feet into the floor to stop myself from pulling her closer to me.

She was against the wall and her hands were kept inside the pockets of her orange pants. My cheeks become my favorite color as she never looked so charming. For a moment there I had forgotten what she just said. The desire to lock those lips between mine burned. All I wanted was Taeyeon to be a free girl in the city of Seoul, where she could take me home and have sex with m-…

I shook my head trying to get rid of those thoughts. "Did I get it wrong?" She asked upon noticing me shaking my head. Her skin was glowing after that shower and her eyes were easily becoming my ultimate weakness.

"Y-you got some right." I said looking away.

She was wearing her spare uniform, a black t-shirt and orange pants. Her hair was still wet by the shower and the white towel on her shoulder was giving her a carefree vibe somehow. The urge to tug off that shirt of hers and feel her wet skin on mine was really strong.

"Some? Where did I get wrong?"

"Taeyeon, I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now." I said, trying to act cool.

"You alright?"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay? It was a -

"Mistake, we should get over it and move on." She completed before I could finish. "I understand."

"Look, this is not the best place for us to talk. Some officer might hear us, plus all this crowd here… Let's just forget about that, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded. "As you wish, toots."

"Don't call me that." I said firmly, just trying not to fall for that woman once again. But what I said came out sounding a little bit rude.

"Are you angry with me?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine. I'll shut up."

"You better."

The awkward silence was inevitable. Taeyeon walked away from where I was, getting close to the windows of the refectory, looking at the rain just outside. Only then I could see on the back of her shirt the word INMATE written in Korean.

Seeing her back, I could almost picture her muscles flexin-… I shook my head again. What was happening to me? Since when I have those sort of thoughts with women? With men? Sure! I was always a boy-crazy type of girl… but a girl-crazy? Never! What that inmate was doing to me? How can she suddenly have me so foolish like this? How can she...

"Hey, Doctor Hwang, can I talk to you for a minute?" Lee Sungmin called me, driving my attention away from that girl for a moment. I hummed a yes and followed him.

"What's wrong officer?"

"Hm… don't you think it's kinda wrong having that inmate here?" He asked me talking about Taeyeon.

"Why?"

"Well, ordinary people don't feel safe around criminals, Doctor."

"She's helping, officer."

"She would help immensely if she was away from them." I looked at Taeyeon, my bastard heart still beating like crazy. But I noticed some people looking uncomfortable around her. They were giving her looks and I could see one man standing up from his place to walk away from her. "Well, you see… those people here… some of them are you know...friends and family members from the people that psycho killed. It's disturbing to have her around them."

"They don't know it was her."

"Still…. Don't you think she should get back to her cell?"

"Honey, don't get closer to her." I heard a woman say to her child. "She's a criminal. She's evil."

Officer Sungmin grabbed the key of her cell and gave it to me. "It's for the best, Doc."

Is it? I pondered. Maybe. I sighed, not really happy about it.

"Taeyeon..." I called her name and the charming sound of it hit my own core. _Stop it, Tiffany. Keep it cool._ "Come with me."

She fastened her steps as she got closer to me. It was getting a little hard to breathe and Taeyeon wasn't even touching me. Ridiculous. This is ridiculous, Tiffany. Make it stop. "What's wrong?"

"Officers want you to be inside your cell." I said firmly not daring to look at her.

"What? Why?"

"Safety reasons."

"I won't hurt them." She said shaking her head sideways.

"It's not about you hurting someone."

"So what is it about? Huh?" She asked turning herself to me. Her voice was low for not drawing much attention but I could see a bit of annoyance in her tone. Her breathing hit my face and I closed my eyes to stop me from doing what I had in mind.

"T-those people… they don't feel safe around you…"

"I was helping them!"

"Don't... make this difficult… I know you understand why it is dangerous. Please, help yourself."

"But I'll be with you, it's okay, isn't it?"

I wanted to say it was, it'd be everything okay and we'd have sex- _Stop it, Tiffany!_ I hit my own head with my fists to prevent those thoughts.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asked holding my fists. Goosebumps all over my body made me yank them away from hers.

"Get off."

"What's the matter with you?" She asked slightly annoyed.

"Just be quiet and follow me."

"I will not." She defied.

I sighed, not really helping in calming myself. "Taeyeon...please..."

"Why can't I stay here?"

"I've told you… Those people are afraid of you. You're an inmate and you're out of your cell."

I heard her curse angrily. "What? So when I try to help I need to back to my cell? How is that fair?"

"It isn't. But it's not about justice. Just do what you're told… and get back to your cell."

"I don't want to." She shook her head.

"Why are you being so difficult?" I asked a bit angry towards her stubborn attitude. "It's just for a while. Till the rain stops and they leave."

"What if the rain doesn't stop? What if rains for the whole day?" I didn't answer. "What about us, Doctor? Do we get to be stuck in our cells for the whole day? What about our lunch? Dinner?"

"I'm sure we'll think about something." I said rather quickly. The rain was just getting stronger. "Now, just…"

"Let me stay here..." I flinched when I heard a thunder up above. "I'll be far from them... I promise."

"If you stay here, I'll need to be with you and -

"You can't? Is that it? You can't stay with me? Because when you look at me you remember what happened?"

No. I imagine what could actually happen. How I could lose my shit and do what something I'd so fucking regret. I was able to hold myself on a few moments ago there in the laundry but it might not happen again the next time. And I don't want to have a next time.

"It's...complicated."

"No, it's not. _You're_ making it be complicated." She retorted.

"I don't have time for this…. Just come with me."

"No!" She walked herself away. "It's fucking pouring outside and I had just took my shower!"

"I don't care! You need to get back to you cell!"

"Why are you angry with me? I didn't do anything!"

"I'm not angry with you. I'm just following orders."

"Following orders?"

"Yes. It's against the rules having you wandering off in here."

"It's against the rules giving sweets to criminals." I blinked. "Did it stop you doing it?"

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Why are _you_ acting like this?"

"Like what? A reasonable human being?"

"No! Ridiculous and selfish."

"Selfish?" My voice came a little bit louder. "I'm the selfish here? I'm trying to stop any accident to happen in here!"

"Why there would be an accident?"

"You're out of your cell..."

"So suddenly I've became this uncontrollable person who is thirsty to kill everyone in here? Where's the doctor that said killing is not an instinct of mine?"

"HEY!" We both shut up as we heard an officer shout at us. "Is everything alright here?" He got closer to us, looking from me to Taeyeon. "Is she bothering you, Doctor Hwang?"

"Don't worry, officer… everything is alright." I dismissed his worries.

"Yes… sure it is." She responded, turning herself away, putting her hands inside her pockets and heading towards the lift.

"Excuse-me officer..." I said, trying to keep with her.

"Taeyeon...Stop it!" She didn't. I huffed angry at her. God dammit. "Stop it! You can't run free in here!"

"I'm not running."

"For the love of God, can't you just do what they told you for once? Huh?" I noticed her munching her inner cheeks.

"You want me away from these people don't you? So, I'm going away. Now, get back in there and impress all those shitty officers in here!" She pointed the refectory with her head. "Maybe doing so you can gain a promotion. Congratulations, Doctor Hwang!"

"Why you have to be so condescending?"

"Oh, so am I the problem here?"

"Who else would be?"

"I don't know… maybe YOU!"

"Me? I'm doing my job here!"

She scoffed. "Just fucking leave."

"I can't leave you by yourself here. I need to keep an eye on you."

"Well with your glasses, seems like you've got four."

"Shut the fuck up!" I said rather angrily. I was tired, I was angry. Mostly at myself than at hers, but it was so exhausting I felt like it was eating me alive. "I'm not in the mood right now to listen to your jokes so Just shut the fuck up!"

"Fine, I'll shut up." She returned to walk away, going somewhere else.

"Where are you going?" She completed ignored me, returning to walk away. I followed her suit "HEY! I'm talking to you!"

The words have barely left my lips when a fierce tug reeled me backwards and slammed into the wall behind. My eyes widened open as she pushed me against it, her arms over my chest holding me tight in place. "You asked me to shut the fuck up, didn't you?" I blinked. "You're not in the mood? Welcome to the club, Doc! Because I'm not in the mood to deal with your shitty struggles right now! You don't want to look at me or talk to me at all. So if you can't at least pretend to everybody else in here that nothing happened between us, just go home. Because the moment one of the officers notices you're trying to avoid me, they'll know something is wrong! And flash news… those kind of things are not that difficult to pick up. So just get over your issues and struggles right now or you'll ending up losing your job again. And this time there isn't Yuri to bring you back!" My breath was sucked out of my lungs by her harsh words and dark eyes. "And take off your damn glasses. You become an asshole with them." The intensity in her eyes doubled. Somehow I could feel the tension hissing as she kept staring me. The awkward silence was inevitable once again.

That is till the silence became the thud sound of Taeyeon being dragged down on the floor by an officer. "Are you alright, Doctor Hwang?" He asked me. I didn't answer, all I could do was blink. "YOU, INMATE. YOU WANT TO ROTTEN IN THE SHU?" Only then I seemed to be back to my senses.

"It's okay, officer. Let her go." I said louder, feeling my heart clench as the officer had his weapon pointed at her. I was surely not calling for this. And I didn't want a commotion to happen right here, where many could witness.

"She was attacking you."

"She was not!"

"Get off me!" Taeyeon yelled, shaking her body, trying to get away from the man. But he was stronger. She grunted annoyed. "I didn't do anything! Just get off me!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He shouted, pushing her head against the floor. "You want to be shot? Huh? You lit' piece of shit!"

"Let her go, Officer!"

"That bastard needs to know her place, Doctor!"

"Let her go."

"She was assaulting you!"

"She wasn't assaulting me. Now let her go!" I said louder. I saw some civilians surrounding us. And I really wished he wouldn't do anything stupid. The officer gave in and released Taeyeon, not before giving her a warning.

"Next time, you're a goner, Inmate."

"Yah, Fuck off!"

My eyes widened when I heard Taeyeon's screams of pain as she was shot by the man. Her body was twitching on the floor for the electric shock fired by the officer's weapon. "NO!" I knelled down at her side. "Taeyeon!"

"Oh my God! What happened to her?" I heard some more civilians surrounding us.

"Was she electrified?"

"Taeyeon, are you alright?" I asked her, she was still in pain as her muscles were painfully in spasm.

"Stand back, stand back!" I heard Yuri suddenly say. She opened her arms and made them move away. "And you Officer Lim, Why did you shoot her?"

"She was hurting the doctor."

Yuri squinted her eyes to me. "She wasn't!" I replied. "And even if she was, you can't just bluntly give her an electric shock, sir!"

"Oh my god… You gave her an electric shock?" One man asked the officer.

"That's horrible..."

When the effects of the shot have finally stopped, Taeyeon stood there on the floor, having a hard time to breathe properly.

"Taeyeon? Are you okay?" I asked, tapping her cheeks with my fingers. "Hey, Taeyeon?"

Her eyes were half-closed, the effects of the shocking wave quite evident as she had trouble to speak and move. Drool was dripping from the corner of her mouth. "Unnie?" I heard a little girl say. My eyes recognizing the little girl with her teddy bear from before. She walked closer to Taeyeon. "Inmate-unnie, are you alright?"

"...Ha...Yeon?" I heard Taeyeon mutter weakly. I blinked.

"Unnie?"

"Stay away from her or she'll hurt you." Officer Lee dragged the girl away.

"...Ha...yeo….n..." When I looked at Taeyeon and saw her closing her eyes, I ended up shaking my head.

"No, no! Taeyeon? Hey? Can you hear me?" The fact that I saw Taeyeon endure electric shocks before, this time seeing her losing her consciousness made me extremely uneasy. She's still not healthy enough, what if the shock hurts her for good?

"Please, all of you stand back!"

"What's gonna happen to her?"

"Taeyeon?" I called her once again.

"She's alright, you don't need to worry!" Yuri tried to calm everyone down. "We're gonna take of her."

"Yuri… we need to take her to infirmary!" I quickly added it. Yuri nodded her head.

She skillfully disarmed the officer. "Just get out of here, officer." Yuri demanded, sending the officer who caused all that trouble away.

"But..."

"NOW!" The man got quiet and obeyed. Yuri turned herself and crouched herself beside me. "Someone get us a stretcher!"

And when the officers came with the stretcher, laying Taeyeon on it with care, I got up, following them suit. Not before looking back at the young girl with the teddy bear.

My fingers caressed the towel on my hands as she was still unconscious. I was sitting on the chair beside her bed, waiting for her to wake up. I don't understand. I don't understand how I nurtured those feelings for Taeyeon. I don't understand how suddenly I was so angry. Everything was alright. But then, upon looking at her one more time, I got angry. I got frustrated. And now even after being angry with her, I'm still here. I'm this pathetic doctor sitting by Taeyeon's bedside, watching her sleep. I'm this pathetic doctor falling deeper and deeper for this patient of mine. I'm a disgrace.

When the door of the room was opened, I lifted my head, recognizing Yuri walking in.

"Oh man, we're in trouble!" She left it out closing the door and resting her head on it.

"What's wrong?"

"Did she attack you, Tiffany? Tell me the truth!" I promptly shook my head in denial.

"No."

"So why the officer shoot her?"

"He thought she was hurting me but that's not true."

"Dammit...we're so fucked up right now."

"What? Why? What's wrong?" I rose up from the chair.

"Seeing a person being electrified is not the most beautiful sight of the world, okay? Especially if they didn't do anything."

"I don't follow. What are you talking about?" Given the fact that Asylum used electrifying weapons for a while now, it's surprising to hear that coming from Yuri.

"Those people here, Tiffany… They're like in shock for what happened. And that is bad publicity."

"Bad publicity?"

"You know how many people out there find cruel that this inmate was electrified for no reason?"

"I guess plenty."

"YES! PLENTY OF THEM!" She said louder, exasperated. "Now, this people will be even more inclined to demand this place to be closed because of our _inhuman treatment_."

"Well, why don't you stop using it, then? I told you many times that this is torture and is not remotely accepted anymore but you guys keep using it! You told me you would ban those weapons..."

"When I become the Warden. Am I the Warden here, Tiffany?" Her rudeness made me quiet. "Do you see the tag on my uniform saying _Kwon_ _Yuri_ , _Warden of the place_?""

"No." I answered.

"There it goes."

"Why are you being like this?"

"I'm not in the mood right now, okay?"

"It seems like everyone is not in the mood today..." I left out, breathing in and sitting back on the chair.

"Well, it's raining. People are moody in rainy days."

Instantly I looked at Taeyeon. _She_ _usually_ _isn't._ I thought to myself. _"_ I feel like this is gonna be a long day." I sighed.

"Tell me about it." She retort it, stepping away from the door. "I'm walking on eggshells with those civilians in here. Ho Sung is pissed that I let them get in."

"You didn't have a choice, Yuri. They were too many and they were rioting."

"Still… If something goes wrong, we're doomed."

"How could something go wrong? Inmates are inside their cells."

"She isn't." She pointed her head to the very one on the bed beside me. I clenched my jaw. And though it was essentially the same thing I said just minutes ago, I couldn't help feeling bad at myself for it. Since when I was treating Taeyeon like that? All this time, I was trying to prove Taeyeon is not as bad as they believe...but then… out of spite of my anger...I was treating her as if she was extremely dangerous. Something I actually never have done since coming here.

"You shouldn't worry about her. Taeyeon wouldn't hurt those people." I denied.

"Except that she did." I looked away, hurt by her words and what she was implying. "You know who are those people out there, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know." I lowered my eyes to the floor beneath me. "Friends and family members from those Taeyeon… injured."

Yuri gritted her teeth. "I don't even know how she can live with that. How can she rest her head on the pillow at night and fall sleep? All the guilt from shedding blood of innocent people…. Doesn't she feel that? How can she harm all those people and don't give a damn?"

"Sometimes..." I started saying. "People don't give a damn...because no one gave a damn for them as well." Yuri blinked thinking about that.

"Bullshit." She denied. "There are people there who have the best of life, great parents, great education, great opportunities and still don't give a damn. They'd still murder and rape. People are just fucked up, Doc."

"Yeah, some people are." I seconded.

"Anyway… I'll take a look how things are going downstairs." She promptly got up. Before she could leave, I decided to ask her something that was bothering me.

"Can I ask you something?"

She turned to me. "Yeah, sure."

"Do you know by any chance if Taeyeon has siblings?"

"Siblings?"

"Hm. Like...a younger sister or an older brother..."

"I don't think so. Never heard about that. Why?"

I quickly dismissed. "Just a thought I had."

"Always took Kim as an only child. Her files don't say a thing about her family."

"Nothing? Like siblings, parents, relatives?"

"All I know is that she is from Jeonju."

"I know that too."

"And that she graduated Seoul Oran High School." Okay, that I didn't know.

"Seoul Oran?" That name wasn't unfamiliar to me. I've heard it before.

"Yeah… told you, Doc." I blinked not getting what she was meaning. "There are people who have the best of life, great education, great opportunities… and still don't give a damn." She gave me a nod and left the room.

Seoul Oran High School… If I'm not mistaken, Seoul Oran is one of the best schools of Seoul to study at. Especially for students aiming SKY universities. The school has many accolades and it's very prestigious. The tuition must be an absurd. Yeah, for Taeyeon to attend that school, she must come from a wealthy family.

The thing is… coming from a wealthy family doesn't translate to always have a great life. Sometimes.. money is where all the troubles lie. South Korea has the highest suicide rate of the world and most of those Koreans have a good source of income. What makes them take their lives are other things such as societal pressure and strict age-based hierarchy. Taeyeon is not immune to issues just because her family is wealthy. I've seen rich people grow apart from their own families, children disowning parents, parents disowning their children… Life is much more than just be wealthy.

My attention was caught by a movement on my right and I immediately stood up, getting near to the bed.

"Taeyeon… you alright?" I was answered by a groan. Her eyes opened a peek and her face scrunched up, disgruntled. "You alright?"

"Ah, fuck off." She grunted annoyed, turning her head the other way. I was surprised by her brusque reaction to me.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you here?"

"Taeyeon..."

"Go away."

"Taeyeon...I'm sorry..."

"Oh now you're sorry? When I almost died?" She sat up on bed, yanking the tubes connected to her away.

"You didn-

"Have you ever had an electric shock just minutes after taking a shower, Doctor Hwang?"

That hit me hard. I denied. "No."

"It fucking hurts." I exhaled, aware she is angry with the situation.

"I'm sorry…"

"Why are you mad at me? I didn't do anything."

"I don't know." I answered with honesty.

"Yeah, totally valid reason."

"Really? Are you really gonna start with this attitude of yours?!" I grunted rolling my eyes for her stubborn and dry humour. "That's why you make me angry."

"That's bullshit. You've always like my jokes... But ever since you put up this glasses of yours, you're bitching out!"

"I'm not bitching out!"

"Yes, you are! One minute you're making out with me and the other you're you're angry. I don't get it. I did what you wanted. You don't want us to be nothing else…And I'm trying to carry this on but all you do is to whiny that I'm stubborn. How exactly I'm being stubborn here? Just because I don't want to spend the day in that fucking cell? That's hardly being stubborn. And even yourself told me I should be out more often. So suddenly trying to do what you always told me to become a sign of stubbornness and ungratefulness? How am I suppose to cope with those double standards? Why there are even double standards in this situation? Why suddenly you're so mad with me? We're making out just seconds ago!" That made me quiet. "And you liked it."

Outrageous was that statement. "I did not."

"Get out of the Egypt, girl. You're in De Nile."

"I'm not in denial!"

"You wanted me! You did! Don't pretend you didn't, Doctor Hwang… I know you did!"

My mind was in a whirl, spinning from the words she just said. And for a moment I almost came clean. For a moment there I almost said how much I was craving for her to touch me again, to kiss me again, to lick me again. The words were buried deep within and almost made it out into the open. But they didn't. I couldn't allow them to be out.

"And you still want me, I can see on your face!"

"Just shut up, you know nothing!"

"Oh, I know some things. You'd be surprised."

"Shut up!"

"So what you want huh? Pretend it never happened?"

"Yes, pretend it never happened!"

"And keep the awkwardness between us? Keep the struggles in? I thought you're a psychotherapist… Isn't your job to deal with struggles? Seems like you need a therapist of your own, Toots."

"Don't call me that! I'm not your toots!"

"You barely are my doctor anymore. Just a whiny bimbo with glasses pretending to be it."

"Is that what you think of me? A whiny bimbo with glasses?"

"No, it's how you're portraying yourself to be." And then she proceeded to use a high pitch voice to mock me. " _Oh look at me, I'm Doctor Stephanie Hwang, who is being unnecessary bitchy today because of_ _REASONS!._ _.._

"Shut up!" She was making me angry.

" _Today I've snogged my patient and I really liked it but I'll hate her from now on because of REASONS!…_

"JUST SHUT UP!" Shw wasn't making me angry, she was making me furious.

" _And to relieve myself from my sexual frustration I'll look for a really handsome man tonight just to show myself that my love for dicks is greater than anything in this world..."_

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

" _Because I don't want to give that patient satisfaction to know that I liked her touch and -_

"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

And I saw flames in her eyes. "Make me."

The need to kiss those lips was so strong that my insides were about to enter combustion. But there's no way I am going to let it happen. No way. "Fuck you."

"Really? Is that the best you can do?" She asked mocking me still. "Out of all things you could pull off in this scenario to make me shut up… is 'Fuck You' really your best option?"

I gulped hard, standing back. I closed my eyes.

"That's remotely cute, Doctor Hwang."

"You know what..." I said walking away. "Forget it. There's no point in this. Just do whatever you want, I'll leave you alone." And feeling tired for all that's happening I nodded my head and made my way to the door. "Have a good day, Taeyeon." Because that was not being a good day for me.

There was so much going on in my head right now, but being verbally abused by Taeyeon when I wanted to apologize was not on my plans. The door closed behind me and I leaned against it, my heart beating extremely fast. And hurt. And tired. There was so much feelings inside me, it was just suffocating. _Don't Cry, Tiffany. Don't cry._

I exhaled and finally started walking away. I grabbed my phone but upon seeing 'No Service' on the screen, I put it back on my pocket. Taeyeon was angry due to all that happened today and I'm not really in the mood to deal with that. So I can at least try to make it up for the rest of the day… for myself and for Taeyeon.

Using the phones of the hospital, my fingers quickly tapped the numbers of Lee Sunkyu's cellphone. One ring, two rings, three rings…

"Hello?"

"Miss Lee Sunkyu?"

"Doctor Hwang? Are you alright?"

"I'm alright, don't worry about me."

"Something going on in there?"

"The crowd behind the gate stormed up a little because of the rain but Officer Yuri Kwon offered shelter inside the hospital for the civilians. It's everything under control right now."

"Really? Isn't that dangerous?"

"All inmates are in their cells. There's no danger whatsoever."

"How long these people will stay there?"

"Till the rain stops."

"What if the rain doesn't stop? What if rains for the whole day?" I didn't answer. "What about the inmates? What about their lunch and dinner?" Funny how this was exactly what Taeyeon asked me too.

"We'll think of something. Don't worry."

"I'm sorry but I find hard not to. If any accident happens..."

"It won't. Believe me. There's no reason for it to happen."

"Alright… and do you need anything from me? Is there enough food there for every one?"

I have no idea. I didn't even think about it. "Hum… I called you to talk about Kim Taeyeon?"

"..."

"I'm sorry...it's just that..."

"Did she hurt someone?"

"No. She's in her cell." I lied. "It's just that... Huh… about her… You know a lot about her life as The Kid Killer, isn't that so?"

"I don't know if you can say a lot. I know some of it."

"Hm. Do you know by any chance if she has a sister?"

"..."

"Like a younger sister."

"I do believe she has a sister called Kim Haeyeon." My heart beat faster. "She helps their parents in their shop back in Jeonju…"

"Shop?"

"Taeyeon's parents are doctors."

"Doctors?" I was surprised. I mean I didn't believe her when she told me her father was a milliner or a circus manager but I never thought her parents could be doctors. Then it makes sense why she attended Seoul Oran High School, given the fact that doctors are ones of the most lucrative professions in South Korea.

"Optometrists."

"Why they don't come here? Do they know about her situation?"

"They live in Jeonju. I don't think they would travel from that far to come here just to talk to Kim Taeyeon for like one hour."

"It's their daughter!"

"Well, some parents don't give a damn for their children."

"Do they still live in Jeonju?"

"As far as I can tell, yeah."

"Then why she would graduate Seoul Oran High School?"

"What? What are you talking about? I don't follow."

"Taeyeon's scholar records say she attended Seoul Oran High School. That means in her high school years she was living in Seoul."

"Okay… what's the deal? They've could send her to Seoul when she was younger to finish her high school. It's quite common, Doctor. Seoul has the best schools in the country, specially for those students aiming to attend SKY universities."

"I know… I'm just… I'm sorry, Miss Lee, but can you tell me how to find them?"

"What are you thinking? Bring her family to see her?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking."

"Why?"

"It's her family! She needs their support! Taeyeon is alone here… she doesn't have anyone..."

"And why bringing her family would help her? It's been years already. She's probably got used to it."

"I really think it's important to her treatment..."

"You don't even know how they're like, Doctor Hwang. What if they're abusive? What if he don't care about her? What if..."

"I just want to talk to them. To know them. If I get any traits that they don't really care for Taeyeon, I'd leave them alone. I promise. But if they are normal parents and care for their child, it's fair that they should be allowed to visit her."

"They are allowed to visit her. It's just that they never bothered to do it so."

"Can you tell me how to find them?" I interrupted her. I didn't want to look at the worst. "Like where exactly do they live in Jeonju? Their address… email… any sort of communication?"

It took a while to her to answer. If it wasn't for her breathing on the other side I'd probably suspect she'd left the phone there and gone somewhere else.

"This conversation is being recorded… and it's not safe to spill information like this through those phones. I'll drop by your place tonight, okay?" I closed my eyes, making a fist with my hand. Yes! Now we're talking!

"Thank you, Miss Lee. This is really important."

"I hope it really is." She said fearful, hanging up the phone. I know this is a big deal. And I know what I'm doing can get pretty messy. But at the same time it's a milestone towards Taeyeon's treatment. She can't just be left here, forgotten by her dear ones outside. She needed her family. I needed to talk to them. And I'll make Taeyeon see her little sister one more time.

* * *

I sighed, completely exhausted for all the argument I had with Taeyeon, and sat beside Yoona an Seohyun at a distant table on the refectory. "This will be a long day." I left out.

"Tell me about it. I'm really concerned for all inmates." Said Yoona sipping her coffee. "If it keeps raining, the lunch will need to be delayed."

"Why?" I dumbly asked.

"Well you can't expect the inmates to meet these civilians here."

"And the civilians are our first priority." Seohyun added in her usual soft and calm voice. "So the lunch will be served to them instead."

"Sooyoung will be pissed when she hears that." Yoona shook her head and Seohyun gave a little smile.

"But… what about us? Our lunch? All the staff in here?" I asked worried.

"Maybe they have some for us. At least it's what I hope."

"Is there enough food for everybody?"

"I doubt so. If we don't, inmates are the ones who will suffer from it." Yoona answered. "That's why Sooyoung would be pissed."

"If you explain, I'm sure she'll understand." Seohyun sips her coffee as well.

"I don't know. Let's just hope for the rain to go away and those people come back home. It will be a disgrace if they stay here for the whole day. Kwon Yuri is already in trouble as it is by letting them in."

"Yeah, I'm so scared for her. She's taking full responsibility for those people and if something goes wrong, things can get bad for her." I added, looking for Yuri with my eyes.

"I think she did the right thing." Seohyun stated.

"Yeah me too." I nodded.

"So how is Kim Taeyeon?" I looked away when I heard Yoona ask me that.

"She's alright." Seohyun answered in my place. "She's amazingly tough. It's scary how she can handle with so much and still be okay with it, especially for her physique."

"But she had an electric shock right after a shower...that's a big deal…"

"Can we stop talking about Taeyeon?" I asked. I saw Yoona and Seohyun frown their brows to me, finding weird I requested that. Taeyeon has always been my favorite subject in this place, but right now, all I wanted is to not remember her and what happened between us.

"Is everything alright? I think this is the first time I ever heard you say that."

"Yeah, it is… It's just that I'm tired… and...Taeyeon is okay now...so there's no need to talk about her in here."

" _Because the moment one of the officers notices you're trying to avoid me, they'll know something is wrong! So if you can't at least pretend to everybody else in here that nothing happened between us, just go home."_ I remembered what she said to me earlier. And she's right with that.

"Is it okay for her to be alone?"

"She's sleeping, there's no danger." I replied quickly. I noticed how they both agreed to change the subject but found suspicious I had been so blunt about Taeyeon. Well at least they stopped talking about Taeyeon. Thank goodness.

It was thundering outside, and the people inside were starting to complain that they were hungry and needed to eat. Officers didn't have a choice other than to try solve the problem. In result of inmates and staff run out of food, the lunch made for the crowd was a bowl of ramen. Many didn't approve but they recognized they weren't in the position to ask for something better than that.

Soon, a huge line was formed as it was being served one regular bowl for person. Due to the amount of people in the refectory, many had to eat on the floor as the tables were already taken by others. My eyes followed the girl with the teddy bear from before, staring her as she took the bowl with both her hands and proceeded to sit on the floor beside her blanket near the windows.

Upon seeing she was by herself in that moment, I approached her.

"Hi." I said bowing to her. She smiled upon seeing me.

"Hi, Doctor-Unnie."

"May I join you?"

"Of course." She replied bowing her head. I instantly sat at her side. "Aren't you going to eat as well?"

"Our lunch will be served later, don't worry."

"Do you want some of mine?" She offered her bowl to me. I waved my hand.

"No, it's okay. Thank you for you offer but you need it more than me." She smiled and started enrolling the noodles with the chopsticks. "Why are you alone in here?"

"I'm not alone. You're with me." She answered before slurping some of the ramen, making me chuckle by her answer. Witty.

"Is Inmate-Unnie okay?" My eyes widened. Jesus Christ. Really? Even that seven year old was asking me about that woman? "She was hurt before...by that officer."

"She's alright."

"You're her doctor?"

"Yes, I am."

"Is she really evil?" And for a moment all I heard was the thuds of my own heart. "My aunt says she's evil. But she got us in. So now I'm confused." Yeah, me too. Though my confusion is about other stuff.

"I… don't...know."

"You don't know?" She asked not understanding. "But you are her doctor..."

"She's not evil to me…" I replied the question, as honestly as I could.

"Is she evil to everybody else?"

I wish she wasn't. It would be so much easier if Taeyeon was behaving herself here. It would be so much easy if she didn't hurt anyone. "Sometimes." I finally said. I heard her slurping her soup once again.

"You must be a good doctor." My cheeks blushed.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because if she is not evil to you, that means she likes you, right?" I didn't answer. "And if she likes you, you must be a good doctor."

"Do you think so?"

"Hum. I think so." She nodded, making me chuckle. "She was hurt by that officer… maybe she's evil to everybody else because they keep hurting her. In my school there's another girl, she's a bully, and she keeps pulling my leg, and I don't like it. Sometimes I want to hurt her so she would stop hurting me. Maybe Inmate-Unnie feels the same."

I gulped, staring the rain through the windows. "Yeah, maybe."

"If they stop hurting her, she'll stop hurting people too." I wish it was that simple.

"What's your name?" I asked curiously turning my head to her.

"Kim Juhyun."

"I'm Tiffany. Nice to meet you." I greeted. She slurped some of the ramen before answering.

"Nice to meet you too, unnie."

"How is the ramen?"

"Good. I like hot ramen on cold days." I smiled. "What about Inmate-unnie?" She asked turning her face to me. I looked at her.

"What about her?"

"Isn't she hungry?"

Probably. "She's alright. Don't worry, she'll have her lunch later." And after that she returned to eat her ramen again.

"How long she'll be here for?" I stood silently just taking her words in.

"I… don't know..."

"Is it for a long time?"

"I don't...know. Maybe…."

"Does she know?" And that made my heart clench inside my chest. My eyes threatened to roll some tears out, but in the end I could keep them inside. "I don't... think so..."

"How long she's been here?"

"Five years."

"That's a lot of time. Doesn't she feel lonely?"

"I think she does..."

"When I'm scared and lonely, Prince Ginger helps me with that."

"Prince Ginger?" I asked not getting it. She lifted up her teddy bear beside her and I chuckled. "Sometimes when I'm sleeping at night he is the one saving from the monsters under my bed."

"Oh really?" She nodded her head with enthusiasm. "What a brave little bear you have..."

"He's a Prince. And a bear. And a Knight. He's very brave by his own nature." I smiled softly.

"The thing is..." I stared saying, feeling hurt for my own words. "Inmate-unnie is a grown up so she doesn't have a Prince Ginger to help her anymore."

"So she needs to be helped by other grown ups."

"Yes."

"But if she feels alone...then who's helping her?" Tears almost streamed down, but I managed to clean my throat and throw the tears away.

"She'll have someone to help her not feeling alone." I said firmly. "Soon… she'll have someone very special to help her with that."

"Who?"

"Her family." I answered and the girl smiled showing a toothy grin.

As soon as Yoona and I got back to the table with out lunch, screeches were heard throughout the refectory.

"YAH! LET ME GO!" I instantly recognized that Yah as belonging to Taeyeon. My eyes quickly searched up for her and when they finally met her, my hands clenched into fists as she was being dragged away by Officer Lee.

"What's going on now?" I heard Yoona's complaint.

I gulped hard when on an instant, Officer Lee was in front of me. "The key, doctor. Please." He commanded. He had gave me the key of her cell that day earlier upon asking me to take her back to her cell. It seems like he's the one finally doing the job.

I looked from him to Taeyeon and I saw her shake her head as if she was telling me not to. I paused for a moment, wondering what I should be doing. I noticed many people looking at us, not saying a word. It is for the best, Tiffany, I told myself. They need to be safe. She needs to be safe.

I sighed and I gave him the key.

The look on her face made me want a hole in the floor to swallow me up, burying me alive for what I was doing. "YAH! NO!" She tried to get away from his grip.

"Don't fucking try my patient, Kim!"

"I'm not to! Get off me!"

"You'll get back to your cell! NOW, MOVE!" He yelled making some people flinch at the volume of his voice. Me included.

"I don't want to!"

"You don't want?" He stopped in front of her, his breathing hit her own face. "You think you have a choice in here, you scum? Do as I say and MOVE!" He then proceeded to drag her away. I quickly followed them suit. I honestly wanted to say something, to make him stop. But I didn't. I didn't want to confront him in front of so many people. I didn't want to start another commotion. I didn't want Taeyeon to be thinking that she has powers over me. And if she goes back to her cell, the officers will stop mistreating her, right? It's for the best. Indeed is for the best.

"No, let me stay! I don't want to go back to my cell!"

"You don't want to go back to your cell?" He stopped by the sliding doors of the building. "Ok, fine. Just stick in there." And saying that, as he pushed her away with some force, the doors opened to the sides. Taeyeon fell on her back on the floor outside and as the thick rain drops kept falling down, the back of her clothes soon got wet. And then her face. And shirt. And pants. And hair.

Without a care in the world, officer Lee went outside, just getting as wet as she was, and quickly handcuffed her.

Taeyeon got herself up slowly and giving a last look behind, she followed his steps, her head lowered all times. My heart just shrinking inside my chest as I witnessed that scene.

"Taeyeon…." I muttered in lament. Yoona squeezed my shoulder at my side.

"I'm sorry." She said softly to me.

As the rain finally stopped, the crowd was getting ready to leave. Yuri was relieved that everything ran smoothly as it could, not happening a disaster while those people were in inside. I mean, they witnessed Taeyeon being hurt but there wasn't technically a disaster, just a misfortune, according to some officers.

Taeyeon…

She must be hurt now. Not physically only, but emotionally as well. All she wanted was to not spend the day in her cell but she just ended up being forced to. Is she angry with me for what I've done?

Oh, fuck it. She made me angry too. She was completely disrespectful to me back then, saying those things, those ungodly things. It's about time she learns I can be short of patience too.

"Doctor Tiffany-Unnie!" I heard a childish voice calling my name and I turned, my eyes recognizing Kim Juhyun.

"Hello, Juhyun…"

"I'm here to give your blanket back." She stretched her short arms fully covered by the blanket to me. "You can give it to Inmate-unnie."

"Inmate-unnie?"

"She might be cold."And then my eyes burned. That little girl there was being more caring for Taeyeon than me. The little girl was being more kind to my patient than I was. What's wrong with me? What's happening to me?

I smiled and knelled myself to reach her height. "Thank you."

"Thank you, unnie." She bowed her head holding her teddy bear, Prince Ginger, tightly.

"I'm pretty sure she'll be happy to have your blanket."

"When her family will come to visit her?"

"As soon as they can." She nodded her head understanding. She hugged me and that made my heart melt. "You don't need to worry. She'll be alright."

"Juhyun..." I heard a woman say her name. I looked up and saw a much older, mature woman in front of me. "We must leave now. Let's go home."

"Ok." The girl said releasing me. "Goodbye, Doctor Tiffany-Unnie."

"You can call me Tiffany."

"Goodbye, Tiffany-Unnie."

"Goodbye, Juhyun."

"Take care of Inmate-Unnie." She said holding the hand of the much older woman. I nodded my head, feeling my eyes get watery.

"I will."

My fingers caressed the small paper where Lee Soonkyu had written the address. Taeyeon's hometown address. Her family address.

Her parents were optometrists, having an optical shop back in Jeonju, according to Lee Soonkyu. And as my thoughts were correct… Taeyeon has a little sister called Kim Haeyeon.

And that was my plan.

Fetch for her family and bring them to see her here. Taeyeon needs their support. Nothing is more heartbreaking than to see your own family not giving a damn for you. I was determined to make the meet one more time. Probably all the source of Taeyeon's anger lies in this situation. After all, she was left alone here like she's long forgotten in this place. I won't allow that. I'll bring her family over and make them be finally at peace.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Lee Soonkyu told me quite concerned.

"I am."

"Be careful, Doctor."

"I will."

"Have you talked to Taeyeon about this?"

"No. I know her. She'll try to make me stop."

"Maybe she has a reason for it."

I shook my head. "No. I'm sorry, Miss Lee. This is important and she needs her family to support her. So I'll bring them over."

"What if she doesn't like it? What if gets angry?"

"More than she already is?" I asked, raising my brows. "Don't worry, I'll tell about her family eventually. I just wanna talk to them before hand, to know how they're like."

"So you're gonna go to Jeonju tomorrow?"

"Yes, taking a day off from work."

She wasn't pleased with that but she ended up nodding her head. She sighed. "Well, Good luck then. And if you need anything, just call me, okay?"

I smiled. "Thank you, Lee Soonkyu." She nodded her head and putting her beaning on, she left my apartment. My eyes stared at the address again.

"It'll be alright." I told myself. "Taeyeon will see her family again. She won't be alone. Everything will be alright."

As I finally got out of the car and saw the sign of their shop my heart kept beating the fastest it has ever been. I had a hard time moving my legs to approach the very optic shop it was written on the piece of paper Lee Soonkyu had gave me.

 _Keep it cool, Tiffany. You can do this._

As I started walking, getting near the place, my palpitations were insanely fastened. Just steps before entering the shop, I stopped, still wondering if I had done the best of option. I closed my eyes and doing so I could almost picture Taeyeon talking to her parents. Giggling and smiling because finally she's seen her little sister once again. Her father hugging her for the long time he's spent away from his baby girl. And this… this is what drives me forward.

"Hello, May I help you with anything?" Someone asks me and words seemed to have been out of my brain at that moment. The woman just in front of me was tall, thin, shot black hair and vivid brown eyes behind her own frames. There were some wrinkles in her face but the dimple on her cheek instantly told me that woman was Taeyeon's mother. "Are you alright, young lady?"

My hands clenched into fists. I had a hard time processing what was going on in my surroundings. I cleared my throat as I bowed my head to her. "H-Hello...I'm Tiffany Hwang..." She bowed to me in respect as I did the same.

"Looking for glasses, Ms Hwang?" I ended up nodding my head.

"Yes."

"Please, follow me." I walked inside and followed her suit. My vision got a little bit blurred for some reason. "Are you feeling well?"

"Just having trouble with my eyes." She smiled, finding a bit of fun in my answer.

"Please, sit down." She offered the chair behind me.

I sat down and my eyes fell to the frames under the see-through desk. "Is there any specific model you're looking for?"

"Just one that suits my face the best." I said trying to ease myself.

"Any brand of your preference?"

"Not really." I answered still not daring to look at her face properly. It's her mother. It's Taeyeon's mother. How am I gonna talk to her about her daughter? How am I gonna...

"Where are you from? America?"

"Yes, America."

"Your accent is very Seoul-like...Have you lived there for a long time?"

"I still live there." I said, a bit anxious.

"Oh, so you're tourist here in Jeonju, huh? You gotta try our bibimbap, best of the country!" She said smiling easing the atmosphere between us. She carefully placed a large tray on top of the table full of frames, several brands, several models, several colors. "Do you like frames in color? Golden pink is selling well this season..."

I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry...I'm really sorry… but..."

"Pink is not your color?"

I chuckled for her statement. No, I love pink. But this is not why I'm here. I'm here to talk about Taeyeon, her daughter. "As I told you before my name is Tiffany Hwang..." I saw her frown her eyes. "I'm a psychotherapist."

"Okay..."

"And huh...right now...I'm in charge to take care of a person… c-called… Kim Taeyeon..." She was nodding her head as I was saying my words but as I got to say the last ones I saw her eyes widened in shock. "I believe she's your dau-

"I'm sorry, Ms Hwang, but if you don't have any interest in buying glasses in this shop, I suggest you to leave." She bluntly said, firmly.

"I need to talk to you."

"I have nothing to talk to you." She quickly rose up. "Now, please leave." She pointed her hand to the exit.

I stood up, but still calm. "Please, I really need to talk to you about your daughter.."

"She's not my daughter." She quickly stated and that made my heart skip a beat.

"What?"

"She's not my daughter." She repeated firmly. "You probably got it wrong. There are loads of Kim Taeyeons in this country, it's a very common name. You're mistaking me for someone else."

"No, I'm not. Taeyeon is your daughter, she even have traits of you.. like your smile." That made her clench her teeth in what I believed was anger.

"I have nothing that could resemble -

"Is everything okay, mom?" I heard a girl's voice nearby. And when I turned to see her, I swear to God I almost had that urge to call her Taeyeon. The girl was tall, thin, as pale as Taeyeon, with long black hair and dark brown eyes. She had meat in her bones and cheeks, looking healthier than I ever saw Taeyeon look like and her formal clothing made her look a very mature woman, even though her face was quite young.

"Yes, it's everything alright, Hayeon." Hayeon! Hayeon! That girl is Hayeon! It's her sister! I can't believe it! I really found her. "This customer is done seeing the frames and is about to leave. Isn't that so, Ms Hwang?"

"Look, I really need to talk about Tae..."

"Hayeon, please follow Ms Hwang outside. She's just wasting our time."

I didn't need to cause a commotion inside that shop so I nodded my head and followed Hayeon to the exterior of their own shop.

"Hayeon, please..." I begged as soon as we got outside. "I need to talk to you about Taeyeon."

Her eyes snapped wide open when I said that name. "Leave me alone. Leave us alone." She gritted. "Don't ever come back here to talk about that..."

"She's your sister!"

"What do you want? Huh?"

"I want to talk to you. Taeyeon needs your help."

She scoffed and the resemblance with her sister was striking. "She never needed my help and I'm sure she doesn't need now."

"She's alone and she needs you! She needs her family!"

"She stopped having a family the moment she murdered a person. Now, leave us alone."

"You can't let her alone in there."

"She's been alone all her life, Ms Hwang. She got used to it." She turned her back to me in order to get back inside. "Now, leave this shop and go back to Seoul. My family don't want anything to do with Kim Taeyeon."

"She called for you." I left it out before she could get in. "She called your name." She stopped walking. "Hayeon… please...give me some minutes. Twenty minutes. It's all I ask. If after that you still don't want to see her, I'll understand and leave you guys alone. I'll never bother you again. I promise. But only this time… for just twenty minutes… let us talk." I could sense she was pondering that. "Please."

I heard her sigh. "Fine. Twenty minutes." She agreed. "And after that you'll leave us alone."

"I promise."

The strong smell of coffee invaded my nostrils as we both sat on the outer tables of one coffee shop just five minutes of walking from her workplace. The tension was building just as tenser as before. Out of all outcomes I tried to foresee, Taeyeon's family rejecting her was not one of them. Maybe due to Taeyeon calling for her name, I took them as close siblings. Apparently I was dead wrong.

"What do you expect from me, Ms Hwang?"

"You can call me Tiffany."

"Ms Hwang." Okay maybe stubborn was in their genes.

"Taeyeon is suffering a lot from being at the Asylum." I started calmly after sipping some of my coffee.

"She is supposed to. It's an asylum for the mentally ill criminals." The fact that she was basically shrugging off was bugging me. It's like she didn't even care.

"Have you ever been there?" I asked curiously.

"Why would I?" Her answers were always a sting in my chest. Like swords piercing though my heart.

"Because she's your family. Your older sister."

She exhaled, looking away. "You know how it feels like, Ms Hwang? To have a sister who is a murderer?" I closed my eyes. "A serial killer who everything it does it's spilling blood from other people? Innocent people?"

I shook my head. "No."

"What would you feel if a sibling of yours committed these atrocities? Huh?"

"I don't...know."

"I do know." She smiled ironically. "Shame. Anger. Disappointment. Second-hand embarrassment."

"I'm sorry."

"If you were, you wouldn't be here talking to me about her."

"Aren't you close to her? Never have been?"

"Taeyeon is older than me for five years. It's a wide gap. When she was fifteen, I was just nine years old. Her friends weren't my friends. Her hobbies weren't my hobbies. We grew up in different times, different cities, different homes."

"Still… she's your older sister. Don't you miss her?"

"She's been away from my life for almost a decade. You eventually get used to it, Ms Hwang."

I clenched my jaw, hurt by her words. "Don't you even care for what might happening to her right now?" I asked shocked by her behaviour.

"No. She followed the wrong path by her own choice." She stated firmly. "Mom and dad tried to gave her the best of life could provide. She moved to Seoul when she was just twelve in order to attend the best schools of the country. She was clever for her own age, dad used to say, and he was sure she would become a doctor as well. But what does she chose? Criminality. To rot in that asylum is the consequence of her actions and choices. She got that up for herself." I sipped my coffee feeling the tip of my tongue burn for the heat of the beverage and the bitter of Hayeon's words. "It's the fate of a psychopath like her."

"You think she's a psychopath?"

"The brutality of her killings rightfully tell me so."

I gulped, feelings ballooned up inside my chest, suffocating me. "When she was young… have you ever noticed an uncommon behavior of hers? Any violence tendencies?" I asked interested in her answer.

"I can't say much, Ms Hwang. As I told you, Taeyeon and I, we are apart for many years to each other. I was too little to ever remember how she was as a kid, and I was too far away when she was a teen living in Seoul. By the time I grow up and became a teenager of my own, Taeyeon was no longer with me. She was there, at that Asylum, paying for the crimes she committed. And right now, me being twenty years old, I barely even remember her face or even her voice."

That's really sad.

"And don't you wonder how she looks like? How does her voice sound right now? What are her hobbies?"

"Not really. She never cared for those innocent men she killed, why should I care for her when she was barely in my life? Blood relations are not excuses to forgive her wrongdoings and her past."

"It's not about excusing her for it. It's about sticking up with her. To be there for her."

"My family does not wish to acknowledge her, nor to keep contact with her. We suffered a lot from her actions. After she was taken by the police and the court granted her guilty, dad almost had to close the shop. No one wanted to come here. We were the family and the business of a serial killer." I gulped. "It's a stain that carries on, Ms Hwang." I looked away. "It's a stain that no one wants for their family."

"Taeyeon is in that place for over five years. Haven't you ever wanted to visit her?"

"No. She's alright by herself in there."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Taeyeon… she's..." I started saying. "You said your parents tried everything to give her the best of life…." She nodded. "Sending a twelve-year old girl all by herself to a city like Seoul for the solely focus to study it's not the best of life." I gritted my teeth. She frowned her brows. "Have you ever thought how lonely she felt at that time? No family, no friends, just all by herself having to endure classes and more classes in order to get good grades? In such a young age, living with her conditions, you break pretty easily. Who was there to help her with her studies? Who was there to help her when she was bullied at school? Who was there to help her from the monsters that live under the bed? No one. She was all by herself. Alone in those dark and dangerous streets of Seoul."

"So are you going to blame us now?"

"No. I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying that your best intentions didn't work out for her. And that's not your fault, life sometimes don't work as we want. But as Taeyeon lived all her young years alone, she made bad choices and she became a broken person due to certain circumstances. And right now, by leaving her there, you're just making the same mistakes again. You're shouting at her face that you rather see her forgotten there than free, living a normal life like everybody else. Just like you shouted at her face that you rather see her alone by herself in Seoul than here with her own family in her hometown."

"My parents were trying to give her the best education possible and she threw that away. Do not dare to blame them! Taeyeon chose that path herself!"

"Taeyeon's ideas of her own family is trapped in the past. She probably thinks you're still ten years old as she never looked at your face again after so many years. She probably doesn't even realize you're already a grown up woman. And that sad part is that probably she will never do." I sniffed, not bothering to dry my tears."Because she's just one step away to die."

And that's when I saw her eyes widen in shock. "Is that what you want? To never really see her face ever again? To never be able to call her unnie because she ceased to be? How would you react if I had come here to tell you that your sister is dead? Would "she brought this up herself" be your answer?"

"She brought this up herself tho." I chuckled coldly. "She chose that path. And she has to deal with its consequences."

"She doesn't need to deal with them… alone..."

"I told you before...She doesn't need us. She doesn't need me. She's used to be alone." I ended up shaking my head. "There's nothing we can do for Taeyeon, Ms Hwang.., She's a murderer and we have no intention to have contact with her. We're much better off this way. We're living our lives really well now. Our shop is doing well. And I'm at university now, following the steps of my parents. Taeyeon could have been part of this… but she threw that away."

I wiped a tear with the back of my hand.

"There's no place for Taeyeon in our lives anymore. We learned how to live with that. Kinda like when you lost a family member. You just accept it and keep living on. We're living on."

I hung my head, finally accepting my defeat. There's nothing else I could do. I tried. But it was no use. Lee Soonkyu was right. They were allowed to visit her it's just that they never bothered to do so. Why they would bother? Taeyeon was absent of their lives for the most part. She became like one of those distant relatives you barely know it exists. Someone you just know the name, but the face is a mystery.

"I'm sorry. We're not interested to visit Taeyeon. All this time, we're actually trying to forget what she's became."

I nodded my head. "Thank you for sparing this time with me, Hayeon." I thanked her. "And I'm sorry for my disturbance. I won't bother you no more."

"Thank you, Ms Hwang."

"In case you change your mind… here's my number." I said, giving her my number.

"Don't worry, I won't."

I drank the rest of my beverage and got up from the table. "Excuse-me." I said politely, bowing to her in respect. "Ah, just before I forget… those men Taeyeon killed that you saw on the papers… they weren't all innocent. They were criminals as well."

She didn't say a word. "Have a good day, Kim Hayeon."

"You too, Ms Hwang." I stormed out, drying my tears with my hands as I walked further away.

As I walked inside those corridors, upon hearing the screams and shouts of inmates, the remembrance of what could await Taeyeon struck me right into my core. "For h _ow long she'll be here?"_ I remembered the little girl's question. _"_ _Doesn't she feel lonely?"_ Funny how a random kid who doesn't even know Taeyeon cares about her more than her own little sister, her own family.

As soon as I opened the door of her cell, I got in. The most bland cell greeted me, quite different from other times. Her spare clothes from the day before were dry already but her flat mattress where she was laying on was a just a pool of water.

I walked closer and sat on her the corner of mattress, just beside her. The back of my fingers touched her cheek and I had a hard time to keep my tears inside their ducts.

She grunted, slowly opening her eyes, blinking, trying to gather some focus on me. "Hey..." I said softly to her.

"Where have you been? I didn't see you for the whole day."

"Day off."

"Where are your glasses?"

"Home."

"What are you doing in here? Aren't you mad at me?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No." She muttered softly. "Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"So you're back being Tiffany?" She smirked and that was when I realized I missed that.

"I've never stopped being Tiffany."

"I don't know… for a while there you've been Doctor Hwang… Not a fond of." I chuckled.

"Taeyeon..." I called, entwining my fingers between hers.

"Hm..."

"You're not alone." I said firmly.

And as she squeezed my hand, it was all I could manage. A tear easily dropped from my eye. She closed the gap between us and kissed me one more time. "I know."

* * *

"So, how was it?" was the first question Lee Soonkyu promptly asked me when she met me in my apartment. I took a while to actually answer it. She kinda knew that was no good.

I sighed. "You're right about them." I nodded my head, still a bit hurt by Hayeon's words towards her sister. "They don't really care. They don't care about Taeyeon."

"What did they say?"

"They said they are better this way." She stood silent for a while as well.

"Have you ever talked to them?" I asked curiously. "Did you already knew about their position regarding Taeyeon?"

She denied. "I never really got into talking to them. I just know they are her family. The thing is... Kim Taeyeon is away from their lives for a while now. And it's not hard to connect the dots when she is in the Asylum for all those years and they never really visited her once." I nodded my head. "It's sad but I see it happen really often. South Korea has a strict society and no family wants to be bound to mentally ill people. Especially a criminal."

"I know. It's just that… I thought… Taeyeon.. and her sister...I thought they were close."

"Why?"

Because she called Hayeon's name. "I don't know. Just a thought I had." Sunkyu sipped some of her hot choco. "But Taeyeon has been alone in Seoul since she was twelve, and Hayeon never left Jeonju..."

"Maybe the same thing could have happened to Hayeon." She replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Kim Taeyeon was sent to study here in Seoul Oran, right? Seoul Oran is a boarding school, one of the best of the country. Hayeon might have followed her sister's path if Taeyeon hadn't...you know...became a criminal. Their parents probably thought that it would be safer to have Hayeon in Jeonju to prevent that from happening."

Yeah, very likely. "I guess so."

"So… now… what's your plan?" She asked curiously.

"My plan?"

"You said you wanted to bring her family over because she was feeling alone, and she needed somebody to help her, to support her. But now that her family is out of the picture...what do you have in mind?"

Nothing. I had nothing in mind. Her family was my plan A. But with them refusing to even meet Taeyeon, I don't have anything else in mind.

"I don't know. I don't have a plan for now."

"Her friends?"

My heart just thumped harder. Friends? The only person I know from Taeyeon's life other than her family now is Heechul. Heechul-oppa. That name has always been my ultimate most curiosity about Taeyeon. Especially after knowing that the name was the trigger from her episode when she killed Yeri.

But I hadn't so far talked to Taeyeon about it. I didn't dare to.

Other than his name, I don't know anything about this man. I mean, now I know he is not her brother as I thought once, so being her friend was my bet. However, he's never visited her as well. Does he think she's better by herself at the asylum too? Does he rather see her alone in there because he doesn't want to keep contacts with a criminal just like her family was doing? Has he forgotten about her?

How could I know? How would I know? Should I know? Do I have the right to know? It's Taeyeon's trigger issue apparently and it's a big deal here.

"No, I don't think so." I replied. "I don't think bringing him over is a good thing."

I noticed her frowning her brows. "Him?"

"Taeyeon might have a friend…. But I don't think it's a good idea for him to see her."

"Why?"

"Just a feeling." I said.

"I can search him up if you want. Just give the name and I'll do it for you."

I shook my head. "No. I can't give you the name."

"Why not?"

"It's private." I replied firmly.

"Oh, okay, your shot. But now...what you're gonna do?"

I shrugged up my shoulders. "Guess be back to our sessions as before."

"Oh, talking about it… Your office has changed." That surprised me.

"It has?"

"Hm. Due to Kim Taeyeon violent behavior to her previous doctors, she was having her session on a special unit in the SHU."

I shook my head. "With all due respect, Miss Lee, I would like to have Taeyeon in the same office as before."

"Are you sure?"

"I would like to not have a cell as my office. And I'm pretty sure Taeyeon feels the same."

She ended up agreeing with my terms. "I guess you deserve it."

I smiled. "Thank you, Miss Lee."

"Anything else?" I was about to say no, but then I thought for a minute and decided to bid the bullet. Maybe she would be willing to do it for me.

"Yes, just one more thing..." She blinked, slightly interested. "I'd like to have Taeyeon's belongings."

"Belongings?" She frowned her brows.

"Yes. I'd like to have Taeyeon's belongings there. You know, her sketchpad, books and puzzles she used to have in her cell. They were removed when you changed her unit, and I would like to have them back. Taeyeon misses those."

"Hm. I'll see what I can do."

I smiled once more. "Thank you, Sunkyu."

"You're welcome, Doctor Hwang." And once more, things were seeming to gradually coming back in place.

And there she was, entering the office with her bright orange jumpsuit followed by officer Lee and Byun Baekhyun. Yeah. Everything was back in place.

As soon as she walked in, Taeyeon turned her head around to see the shelves containing her own books and puzzles. A bright smile appeared on her face.

"Oh, you redecorated it!" She remarked, just followed a bit by her jokey voice. "And not a slightest pink is in the view. Good job, Doc."

"Sit down, Inmate!" Ordered Lee Sungmin.

"Aish, why so harsh so early in the day, Mister Lee? Not a good night with your wife?"

"Taeyeon..." I called her before anything else could be said. "Stop it. Leave him alone."

"He's the one bugging my feet."

"Just listen to him and sit down."

"I'd listen if he releases me." She said showing her cuffed hands at front. "They are quite annoying."

"Forget it, inmate. We won't…-

"Release her." I quickly demanded. Both officers didn't look amused to do what I told.

Taeyeon smiled brightly. "You heard the doctor, Mister Lee."

He told her to fuck off but ended up releasing her from the cuffs. "One day, you'll end up losing your teeth, Inmate."

"Won't we all?"

"Shut up. I'm really running short of patience with you."

"Don't worry, Mister Lee, I'll just behave."

"You want us to be inside with you, Doctor Hwang?" Officer Baekhyun asked politely. I just shook my head sideways.

"See ya, boys." Taeyeon joked waving her hand in a goodbye motion. Without any other words, Lee Sungmin and Byun Baekhyun left the office.

"High five, toots." She came closer to me, rising her hand.

"Just sit down, Taeyeon."

"Aish, what gives?" She sighed but proceeded to follow my words, sitting on the chair just across of me.

"You need to sit down in order for us to begin." I explained, her face suddenly disgruntled.

"Are you being Doctor Hwang again?"

"What do you mean being Doctor Hwang again?" I blinked.

"You know...the boring one."

"How am I being boring? I'm just asking you to sit down..." She shrugged her shoulders. "Why do you keep pulling my leg, Taeyeon?"

"Because it's fun." She grinned.

Well, guess everything is really back to normal. I sighed, though it wasn't a sign of discontent. It was more of a 'here we go again' sigh. It made me chuckle inwards. It was a good feeling to have our relationship back to normal. I thought that after the laundry incident, we'd be arguing and fighting non-stop, but eventually everything was alright. Taeyeon wasn't pushing me nor she was pulling rude comments about me as she did once, and that obviously was making things easier for both of us.

And surprisingly, she decided to follow my "Pretend it didn't happen" rule. We both did. And now she is trying to be the usual Kim Taeyeon I know of. You know...the sarcastic one that everyone hates but me.

I pressed the button of the voice recorder on the desk, ready to record that interview. "Doctor Stephanie Hwang, psychotherapist. Interview #-"

"Are you going to record it?" She interrupted me almost instantly.

"I need to."

"Why?"

"It's the proof of your treatment. The warden will have this as a proof of your treatment to show the court you're under control."

"The warden?" She raised up her brows. "Pussy Ho?"

"Don't call him that." I quickly defended him. Just for show to be honest because that session was being recorded. I don't really care for how Taeyeon calls that bastard.

"How in the world he is gonna make the court believe I'm under control when he doesn't know a thing that happens in here? He doesn't know a thing about me. He doesn't even care. He is the last person in this place who could try to pursue the court to make them change their minds about me."

"Well, I understand, but that's the way things are."

"You could." I blinked.

"What?"

"You're my doctor. You're the one who could make them change their minds and see I'm under control."

"Yes, and for that, I'll need to record your sessions." I said, getting back to the point.

She huffed a little annoyed. "Are you really serious? Why do you buy this crap? You know that this two hours talk is just for show. Especially because we're basically together all the time now."

"You're the one regarding it only for show. If you actually tied to do what I say, this session could really help you. Yoona could lessen Jung Jessica's sentence in one year due to their amicable sessions." She frowned her brows.

"Jung Jessica?"

"Yes. And Yoona is actually trying to get her a parole. And if everything goes well, Jung Jessica can even be released from the Asylum next year. You can have the same if you behave yourself."

"I'm behaving myself."

"Yes, and those sessions will be the proof of it."

She stood quiet, tapping her fingers on the desk, thinking about something. "Could I really have the same?"

"Of course! That's why I'm here. But for that to happen, you'll need to help yourself and be honest with me."

"I'm generally honest."

"It's not what your files say."

And before I could do anything else, she pressed the button on the machine, making the tape stop recording instantly. I was starting to regret myself for letting her being uncuffed in there.

"Are you serious? Are you going to be like this?"

"Like what? Professional?"

She scoffed, looking away. And looking at her side profile, I realized how skinny she was, especially after comparing to what I've seen of Hayeon. "You've never been professional… and then suddenly you want to be it."

"What?"

"You know the information in there is a lie, don't you?" She pointed to the papers on the desk with her own head.

"And is it my fault?" I asked obliviously. "You put yourself in that position. For everyone in this Asylum you're a liar… a… pathological liar -" I said reading the term in her own files on my desk. "And for a long time you never tried to show them otherwise."

"I showed you."

"Yes,… me...outside this office where no one has proof of it." She squinted her eyes and I found myself actually feeling like I was finally _winning_ over her.

"You are the proof. All you need to do is to write in my files."

"I can't write information in your files without any support of it. That's why the tapes are important."

"I don't feel comfortable with telling private things to people I barely know of."

"You know me well enough."

"Honestly...I'm not really sure." She defied.

"Are you serious? Are you really going to start with this attitude of yours?" I said it back, feeling my body heat up. "After all I've been trying to do for you?"

"You're trying shit. All you're doing is running away. Pushing me away."

"Ah so I'm pushing you away because I refuse to let something happen between us?"

"Ah, now there's an us?" I shut down my eyes, feeling the anger boost in my body.

"What's your problem? Why the can't you understand the situation here? It's wrong, Taeyeon!" I replied, standing up.

"Why is it wrong? Because we're both women? Is that it?" I stood silent for a second. She scoffed. "There you go. Found the answer."

"That's not the answer! It's illegal and you know it!" Why? Why this was happening again?

"I'm a prisoner, Doctor, do you think I care for what is illegal or not?"

"Well, just because you don't doesn't mean I won't! I have my career in risk here and I won't lose it for a stupid inmate!"

"Now I'm a stupid?"

"You're behaving like one! I can't believe you're disregarding me in this way after all I've been trying to do! Do you know what will happen if any of them find out about we did?"

"We did nothing!"

"You know we did! If someone got us in that laundry…"

"You left me alone!" She said angrily before I even could finish. "You gave them the key and you left me here!" She stood up herself.

"I was trying to protect everybody!"

"Everybody but me!"

"You're not the center of the Universe!"

"I'm your patient! Your only patient! It's your job to take care of me not leaving me alone in here!"

"Now you're angry because I took a day off? How that even makes sense?"

"Did you took your day off to find your handsome man? Is that what you did? Spread your legs for any dick in the streets?"

And that was when I lost it. My anger just a level higher. "Will you shut up?! Why do you even fucking care? It's my life and I do what I want with it! I owe you nothing! So if I want to spread my legs for any dick out there, I'll do it and you wont' stop me, inmate!"

"Yes, I will." The flames in her eyes just doubled the intensity.

And then, she kissed me.

Roughly.

With blood zipping around my own body, making me feel more alive than ever, our lips crashed, mine coming close to being cut by her teeth. But I didn't even heed the pain. I tilted my head to allow her tongue snuck out to seek mine. Upon finding her target, I was gone.

Taeyeon's hands pushed me away hard enough for me to step back three or four steps and she skillfully hopped over the desk to find me, my back completely against the wall of that office.

Taeyeon's fingers found my waist, sending a flurry of shivers up my spine. My mouth fell open from the feelings and my heart almost stopped when I felt Taeyeon leaning close, lips just brushing my neck. My muscles jerked in excitement. Oh, God. My legs seemed to have turned into jelly, as I was no longer able to sustain myself upright, Taeyeon was the one holding me, stopping me from falling to the floor beneath us. The muscles of my thighs squeezed themselves as I felt her fingers now moving to my abdomen. My heart was racing as never had it done before and my fingers curled hard against the wall as her torturous fingernails were grazing me softly enough to make me go over the moon. How does she even do that?

 _You gotta stop it, Tiffany._ My mind told me to. And even I tried to hurl some words to her but they never made it out. Taeyeon's lips didn't allow. I'm sorry, God, I'm too weak. I am too weak for her warm body pressing against mine. I'm too weak for her gentle fingertips grazing the bare skin of my abdomen. I am too weak for her tongue slowly entwining with mine.

I put my hands on her waist and maneuvered my head whichever way was needed to deepen the kiss. Taeyeon strongly pinned my hands to the wall above my head. Oh God. When she let go of my lips, I grunted, missing her taste on my tongue.

Her hands were over mine, pressing harder against the cold wall. I saw the flames in her eyes. The flames and the lust. "Say it." She whispered suddenly, her voice just hoarse. "Say that you like it."

My toes curled inside my shoes. How could her cold hands suddenly feel so warm? How could anything feel so right and wrong? How could I say no to that when every bit of my body crawled in desire for her?

"I...like… it." The heat of my own words was felt by my own body instantly. It was all alert. All alight in need for her touch.

"Say that you want me." Embarrassing. It was embarrassing how true was that. It was embarrassing how much my body was preparing itself for it. I could feel it. I could feel it, down there, just ready to welcome her.

"I..." My body was warm, my cheeks just burning tenfold for what I was about to say. I looked at her dark brown eyes and though my voice couldn't be heard, my lips did their job by moving accordingly to those words. "Want… you.' Taeyeon read it. And she knew I mean it.

Her eyes darkened and she kissed me roughly...sensually. I gasped into her mouth as she slid her tongue against my own, allowing myself to enjoy the kiss for as long as I could. I didn't want to leave. Just knowing how much I'd miss her touch when I leave was torturous and I slowed down the heated exchange just wanting to savor every moment.

A moan went to the surface when her lips kissed my neck. _Lick it, lick it, lick it…_ And she did it. She licked all the length of it slowly as she could, sending bursts of pleasure to all of my muscles. It was obvious. Much too obvious.

The way my body was responding to Taeyeon's touch was extreme, even for me. I don't recall ever being so responsive to anyone's voice or touch like that before. I didn't know if it was the risk of being heard or the feeling of wanting but there was something making me extremely aroused and sensitive.

My abs flexed under her fingers as she stroked my skin smoothly again. She wrapped her hands around my waist and I gulped hard when I felt my pants being unbuttoned by her hand. Taeyeon yanked my pants down to my thighs and I squirmed down when they fell to my ankles. And when I felt her fingertips grazing my thighs upwards, I hissed at the touch. Never I pictured that one day meeting Taeyeon would result to something like this, but here I am, losing my pants to the floor of the office I met her for the first time.

Taeyeon turned me around and putting her hands on my chest she pushed me backwards, quickly finding the desk behind. Papers quickly flew away. My hands grasped for the corners of the table to fist around, afraid of the intensity of it.

I moaned one more time as Taeyeon's tongue took the lead as it pleased making my core tingle.

She hummed softly and brushed a soft kiss over the shell of my ear as her hand went down and cupped my crotch, gathering some of my own arousal on her fingertips.

 _"Doc… You are soaked."_ She murmured against my ear, purposefully keeping her voice in the low, pleasurable tone that she knew would affect me the most. I moaned a little bit louder by her remark, as her fingers dove into an ocean of desire.

" _Shh… you gotta keep it quiet, Doc. The officers are just outside. They might hear you..."_

 _Oh, God._

" _And if they hear you, you'll be fired. You want to be fired?"_

I shook my head sideways. " _I don't want either. So… keep it low, okay?"_

My voice trailed off in a low moan as my own body reacted to the words Taeyeon was speaking, my nipples tightening to an almost painful degree as a wave of moisture settled between my thighs. My chest heaved up and down as the lust overrided everything that told me what I was doing was illegal and wrong.

I groaned and bucked my hips harder against Taeyeon's hand.

"Tae-yeon…." I barely whispered her name _._

The way her fingers rubbed soft circles on my clit should be illegal. Her rough voice in my ear should be illegal. That bastard woman was making my most bastard feelings come into the surface. And I know she was fully aware of my reaction to her voice and touch. She knows how I am so fallen for her right now. That bastard.

She soothed the pinked skin with my own wetness as she slid her hand lower to press lightly against my opening. The feeling was so intense, I rocked my hips so far forward into Taeyeon's fingers that my butt was practically lifted off of the table. I mewled pitifully as Taeyeon thrust gently against me, just teasing me with the lightest of pressure, never giving me the penetration I so desperately needed.

Wicked fingers, full of intent, danced under my skin, taunting me, teasing me, raising my temperature to burning levels. And I couldn't do anything to help myself. So there, at the top of that desk I let myself be the burning victim of her magic.

My last shred of self-control was gone when I felt her tongue in my womanhood. I slapped my hand over my mouth to try muffle the moan that was torn from my throat as Taeyeon's tongue licked my lips up.

OH DEAR GOD.

And when I was about to place my hand on her head to keep it where it was, performing the magic she was doing, she got up and plundered her fingers inside me.

I wanted to murmur words of encouragement, urgent pleas for Taeyeon to just make me climax but I didn't trust myself to speak, knowing that if I did I wouldn't be able to control the volume of my own voice. I'm quite a louder.

As Taeyeon set a slow, steady rhythm against me, I was already so terribly, painfully close to the edge. NO. It couldn't be so fast. I shut my eyes in concentration trying to control the very need of my body to release, just to make that moment last a little bit longer.

She brushed a soft kiss over my brow as she increased the speed of her thrusts resulting in my walls to squeeze tighter around her fingers, sucking her in deeper, holding her inside. "See… look how bad you want me _…_ " She began her talking again and I heard her chuckle at the whimper that spilled from my lips.

I honestly didn't know what to do. My hand was not able to muffle my moans and I knew that each thrust by Taeyeon, my voice was getting louder and louder.

With the officers outside, I was just a step away to be fired. Again. What should I do?

Taeyeon used her free hand to take my own hand away from my mouth. I left a soft whimper. She shut me up with another kiss, her tongue twisting over mine.

She didn't waste any time in quickening the pace of her fingers just as I pleaded. When Taeyeon's fingers scissored then curled inside me, I opted to keep my hands on her back, as I pulled her into a hug and dropped my chin on her shoulder. My breathing was ragged, my hips bucking, jerking each time Taeyeon dug deeper.

"Are you close?"

And I knew. I knew too well that now I couldn't hold any longer.

"So..c-close..."

" _Of course you're. Look at you, Doctor, so desperate for me...so painfully in need for me."_

And I knew I had to do something because I know myself pretty well enough to know that my scream would be really loud.

"Tae...yeon..." My body inched closer and closer to impeding explosion, climbing, reaching up towards the final blow.

"Hm..."

Oh God.

"I..." Oh, God.

" _Go for it, Doctor. C'mon, come for me, Tiffany."_

The sound of Taeyeon's rich, throaty voice demanding me to let go pulled me over the edge. And out of pleasure and despair, trying to muffle the scream from my throat, I did what I never ever thought of doing in my entire life.

I bit her shoulder. Hard.

My teeth deepened into her orange jumpsuit so hard, that I could feel her skin beneath it. Taeyeon stood silent, stroking me through the length of my orgasm, drawing it out as long as possible.

Still with my eyes closed, I let myself be at her mercy. When the final spasm left me breathless and weak, still having her fingers inside, she kissed my head. A couple of seconds were gone, and I was still hugging her, my teeth plunged into her shoulder.

Took me a while to get my control again. And after I finally did it, all I could do was to pull my teeth away from her. The mark of my teeth on her jumpsuit was pretty well defined, and I was sure I had left the mark on her own flesh underneath it as well.

Hairs all over my body were standing at attention when my eyes caught hers. Muscles tensed again. It was only a second but it was more that I could bear at that moment. Something within me snapped and my hands dug into Taeyeon's dark curls as I crashed my lips into hers.

I didn't really care. I didn't really care for anything other than Taeyeon being there with me.

Fucking me.

* * *

"You alright?" She asked softly in my ear. My body was so relaxed from my sexual frustration release, that I was at floor, unable to be standing. The desk behind me was only giving my back some support to lean in. Taeyeon was on my lap, her hands just wrapped around my waist. My eyes were close as I was still reviving the feelings of what just happened between us.

"What have we done?" I muttered, exasperated.

"Hey...it's okay, we're gonna be okay..."

"No, we're not." I said, still with my eyes closed, shaking my head. I felt tears drowning my eyes up a bit. "Everything's changed now."

"It is not. I promise nothing will change between us..."

"Do you really think this is only about us?"

"Why would be about somebody else?"

"Do you know how wrong it was?"

"There's nothing wrong in that." She said calmly. It was much softer than earlier, when she was telling me things. "I wanted it, you wanted it. There's no wrong in that."

"Yes, there is. You can't live your life just doing things you want to! You need to understand that there are some rules and they need to be followe-

"Is this the doctor-patient thing again?" She interrupted. "That is just a stupid convention. You can't possibly believe that doctors don't grow fond of their patients… And if there is a rule about this thing, that basically means that happened many times before."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You shouldn't blame yourself for this nor feel guilty about it. It's okay."

"It's not okay, Taeyeon. Can't you see the proble-" She shut me up with a kiss. Once again, I found myself at her mercy. It took a couple of minutes for us to actually break it apart.

"If you didn't want to… you'd push me away… But you never did." Because you make me weak! Damn you, Kim Taeyeon! "You wanted it." My cheeks blushed. "And there's no wrong in that."

"Taeyeon..."

"Give yourself a little bit of freedom, Tiffany. In a place like this, a little bit of it might be the only thing stopping you from getting mad."

That hit a bit in the chore. It felt like she was talking more about herself than anything. She leaned in closer, hugging me, and my forehead fell to her shoulder. It was slowly becoming my favorite place for some reason.

"They won't know." She assured suddenly. "They won't know about us. No one will, I promise."

I stood quiet, just taking in those things. Her words, her scent, her soft breathing, her hands on mine. It was so surreal to be there with her like that. It was so amazing yet so simple. If those walls didn't belong to a penitentiary, everything would be much easier… So much easier.

"You don't understand.. This is really dangerous. There's so much in game right now. I can't possibly let it happen."

"It already happened." I controlled my urge to roll my eyes on that obvious statement.

"Happen a second time, I mean."

"It already happened." She said grinning kinda cheeky.

"Taeyeon..." I called her out for her matter-of-factly commentary.

"What?" She giggled.

"You know what I mean."

"So now what? We pretend that it never hap-"

"Happened." She nodded her head in disappointment. She quickly got up from my lap, and turned herself around, showing her back.

"Is this what you really want? Get back to that?"

"Taeyeon, please… It's what we can bear."

"If you say so." She proceeded to walk and sit casually on the chair in front of the desk.

"Taeyeon..."

"Get up, Doctor, we need to finish this session." Her voice was coldly and sarcastically. I exhaled, feeling the awkwardness again.

Slowly, I got up from the floor, brushing my hair with my fingers, and adjusting my clothes to its proper way. The smell of arousal was still present in the air, but in due time, it would gradually be gone. When I sat down, facing her just there meters away from me, I gulped. My heart beating fast still. "Please, Taeyeon…. Try to understand why I have to do this."

"I understand." Why does it seem she's angry though?

"It's for our own sake."

"You're not doing a good job pretending it didn't happen yourself, Doctor."

"I just don't want this to be awkward."

"We jut had sex, Doctor. Of course it would feel awkward." I nodded my head, understanding it. It was for the best to ignore it and focus on to not be bothered by it. I cleared my throat and press the button on the voice recording, retaking the interview with her once again.

It felt absolute mortifying to keep that on with Taeyeon in there. All I wanted to finish that off, go back home, have a cold shower, cover myself in my blankets and forget that we got laid. That was something only presented in my fantasies and it was alright and inoffensive being that way, but now it wasn't only sexual fantasies… it really happened. And that feeling, that memory, that scent, everything about it...would kick back in again eventually. I was really scared of that because if I ain't cautious with it, that could become a sort of addiction.

And addictions are never good.

"So...after all that...are you willing to speak true?" I asked her suddenly, trying to retake the conversation of before "the happening."

"Aren't you gonna use your shitty training to know if I'm being honest?"

"Still think I'm a bad doctor...huh?"

"You're good doctor. What is bad is your personality."

"Honestly...Taeyeon...I don't get it..Why are you so angry at me?"

"I'm not."

"Yes, you're. You're angry. Hurt. What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"What's up with that? You know I'm the best person in here to understand you."

"You're wasting your time, Doctor… I'm not easily understood."

"No, Taeyeon. You're wasting your time." I said it back. "You're wasting years of your life in here. How long has been since you've arrived here?" She didn't answer it, but I noticed her looking away. "The picture in your files show a rather young Kim Taeyeon… You were barely in your early 20's in here, isn't that so? And now look at you, almost a late 20's… You wasted the best years of your life in here." The flickering tears on her eyes made me feel my heart ache for a second, but I didn't gave in. "And if you don't change, you will keep yourself stuck in here. Don't you wanna go out? Live a normal life again? To meet up with your friends and have a welcome back party? To enter college and find yourself in path of a good career? Life ain't those walls, Taeyeon. It might be fun for you to not care about these sessions…but it won't be fun when you realize you've spend your whole life in here." I saw her exhale as the trails of tears marked her face. I found myself fighting my urge to not be moved by that. "Those papers can say how psychopath and crazy you're, but I know you're not. You're not a bad person. I know you committed crimes. I know you did bad things. But I also know that you are able to love and care. And I'm here to show them that."

The way she wiped her tears with the sleeves of her jumpsuit made me sigh in relief. I knew I was finally braking her walls. I wanted to hug her, to hold her hand, to give her any support. Taeyeon became a piece of my life. Now that we have actually had sex, even more. She was inside me a couple of minutes ago, but now, I was the one getting inside of her. In a different way, but at the same time, it felt much more intimate.

"So… please...tell me… Why you're angry with me?"

It took a while for her to say it. "You promised you wouldn't leave." She muttered weakly.

"I didn't."

"You ignored me. You gave Mister Lee the key and left me alone." It was still about that?

"I had to give him the key."

"Even after the rain stopped, you didn't show up. You were gone. I didn't have lunch nor dinner that day." I felt a warm feeling inside of me.

"I'm sorry, Taeyeon."

"You didn't show up the next day. For two days straight, you're gone. I thought you had been fired again. I thought you had been so mad with me you had actually resigned. I thought something bad happened and you were dead." I felt my heart melting. It was stupid how weak I was to that woman.

"Taeyeon..."

"I knew you were angry with me...after the things I said that day. But I was angry at how you were ignoring me and avoiding me. I was angry that suddenly you became this person that it was never you. And I'm angry now because you still want to be this person. You still want to ignore and avoid me... and that will only push us away." I sighed, closing my eyes.

"It won't push us away."

"Yes, it will. It's what always happen. They always go away." She muttered her last words. I gulped the lump on my throat and gritted my teeth, trying to suppress my tears.

"Taeyeon..." I called… but she didn't look to me. She was being honest to me so I decided to bid the bullet and ask what was on my mind. "Why do you think everyone goes away?"

"Because they do."

"You have this constantly feeling that you're left behind… does this has something to do with your family? Do you feel like you were left behind by your parents?"

She looked away instantly and I respected the silence the came shortly after. My heart was beating abnormally fast and loud, awaiting for it. "Yes." It was her answer and I tried to convey that as professional as I could.

"Why?"

"Because I was."

"Why do you say that?"

"Childhood talk, huh?"

"Taeyeon...I know this is hard… but sometimes..."

"Do you believe in ghosts, Doctor?" She asked me suddenly, and due to nature of that question I blinked obliviously.

"Come again?"

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Huh…." I was trying to understand what was with that question, but nothing that I could think of was making sense. "...I'm not sure."

"Is that a no?"

"I'm sorry, Taeyeon...where do you wanna get at?"

"There's people out there… that believe in ghosts and spirits and demons… And there's people who don't."

"Okay..." I kept listening to her words.

"And you know, out of people who believe in those things, some spend their whole lives looking for them. They live their lives trying to find real evidence that those creatures exist. Demonhunters, ghostbusters… can you believe in that? And even though they fully believe in in those beings, even if they spend their whole lives searching for them, sometimes they'll never find one."

"It's not something easy to proof that paranormal beings exist." I commented.

She nodded her head. "And there are some people who don't believe in those beings and yet, sometimes, they are the ones who are victims of those creatures." She chuckled. I frowned my brows. "They never believed in ghosts and then one day, they move to a far away house and bang! Ghosts and demons living there, tormenting the poor lives of those people. And what happens is that those people who never believed in ghosts, suddenly, what do they want most is to get rid of that situation. Suddenly, all they want it to forget they ever seen one."

I tilted my head to the left.

"Don't you find it curious, Doc? Don't you find curious that the people who seeks for ghosts and demons sometimes never find them, but the people who actually come across them, all they wanna do is to forget?"

"Well, it's sort of a terrible experience, traumatic even. It makes sense why they want to forget about it."

"Isn't it curious?" She raised her head and stared in my eyes. "That what some seek to find, others seek to forget?"

And before I could say anything, I understood it. That was about us. Taeyeon didn't want to talk about her childhood. She wants to forget. It's the ghost in her story, the demon that came across her and let her that way. I was the demonhunter, the ghostbuster. I was the one seeking for her demon. What I want to find, Taeyeon wants to forget.

"The past can hurt, Tae." I said softly. "It usually does to people. For different reasons. Life isn't perfect. As you told me once, Life likes to throw us a wedgie. And sometimes Life throws it more than we can bare." I saw her eyes gleam with light, particularly by the tears she shed earlier. "You past will never go away. It will keep bugging you, pulling your leg time to time. And you can run away from it, pretending it never happened, or you can learn from it."

"That's from Lion King." She said right aftwerwards. I chuckled. And then she chuckled.

"I don't seek to find the ghost in your story, Taeyeon..." I added when I noticed the environment was much less awkward than before. "I seek to help you deal with that. Because sometimes, all we need is someone to trust and listen to us." She lowered her head. "I trust you and I'm here to listen to you. And all I need is you to trust me and talk to me."

She sighed before giving in. "My father was a doctor, an optometrist, and in a country where 80% of its citizens need glasses, it sure gives you a decent amount of money." I kept listening to her words. "He wanted me to be a doctor as well. In order for me to be one, my parents decided to give the excellence in education. They sent me to Seoul to study at a great academy school. It was a boarding school. Great school, Doc..." They way she said great was easy to pick the sarcasm. "Beautiful gardens, large pool, huge library, comfy beds… hateful people."

It was difficult to me not be fully invested in what she was telling me.

"I didn't even see it as a school. It looked something like a dystopian movie. It was aesthetically pleasing yet so frightening and creepy at the same time. Students of all ages studying their asses off in order to pursue the dream to enter the best colleges of the country."

She paused for a second. "I hated that place." And the moment I heard that, I remembered Hayeon's words " _Mom and Dad_ _gave_ _her the best of what life can provide yet she threw that away._ "

"It was a boarding school… We wake up in that place, we lunch at the place, we dinner at that place, we sleep at that place. And from 7 am to 7 pm… classes and more classes. You know how boring that is, Doc?" I can figure knowing how hardcore is the education system in Korea. It's borderline insane how many hours kids spend at schools in this country. And hell, Taeyeon was only eleven.

"Weekends were free at least. And we could finally leave that facility and go somewhere. Many students spent the weekends with their families if they were all from Seoul. Others were from other regions and couldn't meet their families. Guess which boat I was on?" I didn't say anything, but I gave a nod understanding what she meant.

"The only time of the year I could finally go back home and meet them was on Christmas Holidays."

"Did you enjoy those times? Did you enjoy spending Christmas with your family?"

"Yes." I wanted to yell at Hayeon for the words she shared with me in our private conversation. That was her sister, missing her family. Yet Hayeon said was that Taeyeon is alright because she's used to be alone. No one is used to be alone. No one likes to be alone. "Till one time." She concluded. I squinted my eyes. "I was fourteen. And I was back to spend the Christmas with them. I even helped them to ornate the house. And when it was dinner, we all were at the table. Mom, Dad, me and Hayeon – my little sister."

It was hard for me to pretend I didn't know them. I mean, I met them personally. I saw them closely. I saw even how Hayeon's physical appearance is so much alike her older sister.

"Dad was talking about a client of the shop. They way he walked and talk. Then suddenly, he made a joke about him. And every one laughed." Didn't know what she was trying to get at. "Everyone but me. I tried my best to at least chuckle, but I couldn't. And it's not like the joke wasn't funny. Probably was. Hell, even Hayeon, a ten year old, was laughing. It just that….I didn't get it." I still didn't know what she was implying. "I noticed everyone laughing, almost with tears being brought up to their eyes and there I was, not even a fake chuckle. In that particularly moment, I felt left out."

Oh, now I think I get it.

"I felt like everything was twisted and distorted. I felt like I didn't belong there anymore. I was far away from them for so long and I missed so many things that happened there that I was a sort of alien. I was a stranger to my own family. And what it angered me was that while they had good stories to tell, I had none. Nothing was happening in my life because I was stuck at that school only studying to please my parents who then became those distant relatives I only see once a year."

"I'm sorry, Taeyeon..."

"And as the time went by, we grew distant to each other even more. I was slowly drifting apart from them and they didn't even care. They didn't even seem to notice it." I gulped. "It became so normal for them not to have me there, that by the time I was gone entirely, they didn't felt my absence."

"Taeyeon..."

"Due to everything that happened, I decided that I shouldn't become a doctor because a stranger wanted me to. So I didn't even tried to take the entrance exams. All those years of excellence school, seven years studying at the best academy of the country to nothing. I came out of a stupidly rich school to live in a poor flat with a broken girl that was searching for a roommate who she could split the rent with."She chuckled. "Father got furious when he found out. He used to call me everyday and one day even called my roommate to try make her change my mind. Juniel got angry that my father called her a stoner and told him to fuck off."

I blinked, surprised by her words and manners to her won father.

"When I was charged guilty of my crimes, they went to their court. Well, Father went at least. He came to me to say ' _I should've known you weren't a good person. We're glad Hayeon didn't spend much time with you. Pay for what you've done and leave us alone, Taeyeon_ _.'_ He didn't understand. They were the ones who left me alone." I closed my eyes. "They left me alone and never bothered to see me. Not when I was at school. Not when I am in this prison. They never came here. I don't even know how they look like for now."

"I'm sorry." She was looking at the floor and I knew that not matter how many times I try to say I'm sorry for her, Taeyeon would still be hurt. "I'm really sorry, Taeyeon."

"It's okay, Doc. I got used to."

"No, you didn't." I said softly. "You never have. That's why you're so keen to breakdown when someone leave you. Especially someone who you have a bond with. The pain of being left alone is still there, isn't it?"

She didn't answer, but she sniffed, which told me she was showing her inner feelings again. Leaving my professionalism behind, I walked to her and knelled before her.

"Just remember, I'm here. And I'm not leaving you alone. Do you hear me?" She looked me in the eyes.

"Seems like I'm condemned to live trapped in walls, ain't it, Doc?"

"No one is condemned to live trapped in walls, Taeyeon. Everyone deserves a second chance. It's up to you to make people realize you're worth one. I know you are. You're a good person. You showed me that." I noticed how soft her gaze was. How she looked serene and untroubled. More than ever, I felt like she was trusting me. I have no idea if the sex was the cause of this, but she seemed much more reachable than before. She seemed much more beautiful than before. "Show _them_ that."

The corner of her lips tugged upwards. My eyes glared at her own and silence was quickly brought up. I caught myself lost in her gaze once again, and having her that close to me, I was dangerously giving in to kiss her.

"Is it over?" She asked suddenly, making me come back from my zone out.

"Excuse-me?"

"Are we done for today?"

"Ahn… Yes! I guess it's about time to finish." I quickly stood up, clearing my throat from my own embarrassment.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, sure." I answered, avoiding her eyes. My eyes fell to her shoulders as she stood up from the chair. My cheeks blushed as I recalled the moment my teeth marked her skin. She noticed my gaze and looked at her own shoulder. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's alright. It didn't hurt so much."

I looked away sort of embarrassed. " _Interview with Kim Taeyeon is finished."_ I said it, stopping the tape, finishing that session.

She inhaled, and I wondered whether she felt relieved or burdened.

"Are you alright? Do you feel troubled by our conversation?"

"No." She quickly answered, shaking her head sideways. I smiled, my heart fully content with pride. "I know how hard it is for you to say those things. Thank you, Taeyeon, for letting it out. Thank you for trusting in me."

She nodded her head.

"You trusted me enough to let me bang you in your office." My face overloaded in pink. "Guess, you deserve some of that."

I looked away, embarrassed by her remark.

"So, are you shy?" She giggled.

"You're not doing a good job in this 'pretend it didn't happen' situation, Taeyeon."

"Yes, I'm. I'm joking around, Doc. It means I'm not resented anymore."

"Don't joke around."

"I can't. It's my second nature. Besides, it's impossible not to joke when you're as pink as a pig right now."

"Don't call me that."

"What's your favorite color right now? Mahogany?"

"Taeyeon..." I called her while she giggled. "Okay, I'll stop. Don't really like playing dirty."

"You'll never stop, will you?"

"Yeah, of course I will. When I get boared."

I exhaled, and with my heart fluttering, I chuckled, feeling much less burdened than before. Shaking my head sideways I took the files from the desk and alongside Taeyeon, I left the office.

"Do you miss them?" I asked her, helping to get her to bed.

"Who?"

"Your family?"

She seemed to zone out for a moment. Only after a couple of seconds, she replied. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" She shook her head.

"I don't know."

"Would you like to see them again?"

"I don't know." I frowned my brows, how was it possible that she didn't know. "I'm used to not having them here with me."

"This doesn't answer the question." She blinked. "You said you don't even remember their faces… Wouldn't you like to see how they look like now? How the shop is going? How your sister looks like? She is a grown up right now, isn't she?"

Taeyeon cut short in silence for a while. "Is she?"

"Would you like to see her?" Because honestly, if she said yes, I'd do everything I could to make Hayeon come here.

"Father will never allow it. They protect her far too much from me."

"She's an adult now. She has her own choices." Even if she said no the first time, I'd try to change her mind.

"Hayeon?" She muttered. "See Hayeon again? After all those years?"

"It's never too late."

"And how would that be possible?" The fact that it was sounding how she was actually considering that, was already making me determined to fetch her sister in Jeonju and bring her over.

"I can bring her over." I suggested.

"You can? How? You don't even know how she looks like." Oh, believe me, I do. You'd be surprised by how much she looks like you, Kim Taeyeon.

"I don't need to. Just give the address of the shop and I'll find her. I'll convince her to come."

"You will?" The gleam in her eyes made me nod my head in assurance.

"Of course I will!" I said rest assured. I know Hayeon would be difficult to be convinced, but difficult doesn't mean impossible. I mean, Kim Taeyeon is supposed to be one of the most dangerous inmates of the Asylum and yet she's trusting me enough. The girl who everyone regarded as coldblooded developed bonds with me. That coldblooded girl showed me how warm can be her embrace. Convince Hayeon to visit her sister? Just needs a bit more of persuasion.

"Really?" She asked getting up. I saw her smile and my heart melted away almost instantly.

"Of course! I'd anything for you, Taeyeon."

She smiled and I noticed her gaze lower to my lips. I didn't even try to stop it. She placed her hands around my waist and kissed me softly. It was then that I realized how really difficult it is to me to be away from her. How it is difficult to push her away. No matter how many times I tell myself that was illegal and wrong and we should pretend it never happened… The feeling of wanting to be with her, was far too strong for me to not hold to.

"Taeyeon..." I broke the kiss apart. "Remember...we have to prete-"

"You know what's the good thing about the Intensive Care, Doctor?" She interrupted me straight away. I frown my brows not understanding it. She grinned. "Everybody screams."

Embarrassing.

It was embarrassing how I let myself be in trapped by her like that.

It was embarrassing how I let her undress me one more time.

It was embarrassing how I didn't even care that was her bed.

I was there, nude, laid down with her on top of me, her tongue drawling over my abdomen, creating sensations in me that I never thought possible. Too many things were happening within me, I couldn't keep with it. So I allowed myself to be swept by the waves of pleasure.

My body wasn't mine. It was Taeyeon's. I was at the mercy of the wicked hands and mouth of Kim Taeyeon, making me reach my climax for the third time that day.

And I knew. I knew myself too well.

My feelings for that woman was above anything else I ever felt for someone in my life.

I was addicted to that woman. And the problem was that I didn't want any rehabilitation.

* * *

"You know, I've been thinking about what you said yesterday..." Taeyeon spoke, walking beside me around the yard. It was a sunny day, very warm and, if it wasn't for the grim buildings nearby, I could almost pretend that was a stroll in the park.

"About what?"

"Hayeon." My heart just missed a beat. "Are you really gonna do it?" She asked me, slightly concerned. "Bring her over, I mean."

"You want to see her?" I asked interested. She munched her inner cheeks.

"I… guess it would be nice to see her once again." She said quite low. "But...it's been so long… and she probably doesn't even remember me." I kept myself in silence, listening to her. "How old is she now? 20?21?" I shrugged my shoulders, giving her the 'I don't know' answer. "It's been such a long time…"

"I'll talk to her." I said it. She stopped walking immediately. "I'll meet with your sister and talk to her." Again. To try change her mind. "She could be missing you too. You're her big sister after all."

She twisted her lips. "Hayeon and I were never close. She was really young when I moved in to Seoul...and when I grew distant to my parents, she was just what? Eight? Nine? I wasn't there for the most part of her life. I don't really think she misses me that much." "Or at all." She added almost instantly.

"But you want to see her, right?"

She looked down. "I guess."

"Then, I'll talk to her." And I saw her smile, making me lighter. "I'll do everything I can to bring her here."

"Thank you, Tiffany. Thank you for doing this to me." I nodded my head, giving her some comfort.

"Yuri? Can I talk to you for a minute?" I called her upon entering the Archive. She instantly raised her head to me.

"Hey, Doc. What's up?"

"Good. You?"

"Same old." And I heard her clicking on something with the mouse. "So, what's popping?"

"Hum… I need a favor."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna take a couple days off again and I'd like to ask you if you could help Taeyeon meanwhile." She frowned her brows.

"Help Taeyeon?"

"Well, she has a hard time receiving help from other officers in here due to her being an inmate. And I'm afraid she'll be ignored while I'm gone. So I'd like to ask you if you could take care of her."

"What you mean take care? I can't baby sit her, Doc."

"I don't mean staying around at all times. I mean just to assure she is getting her meals, showers and everything."

"Have you talked to Sung about this?"

"I don't need to. I have the permission from Lee Soon Kyu."

"Lee Soon Kyu?" She asked, blinking her eyes. "The Lee Soon Kyu?"

"Yes, the one herself."

"She is okay with that?"

"Not really, but she understands the situation."

"Hm… why are you taking some days off? If I may ask..."

"I'm going to visit Hayeon."

"Who's Hayeon?"

"Her sister."

"Lee Soon Kyu's sister?"

"No, Taeyeon's sister."

"Taeyeon's?"

"Taeyeon's."

"She has a sister?"

"She has a sister."

"Taeyeon has a sister?" She blinked.

I nodded my head. "Taeyeon has a sister."

"And you will bring her over?"

"I will try."

"Taeyeon knows about this?" She asked unsure.

"Yes, she's pretty much aware of this."

"And she is okay with it?"

"Yeah, she's pretty much okay with it." I answered confidently.

She blinked perplexed. "What the hell happened to Kim Taeyeon? What did you do to her?" I chuckled by her remark.

"I just... talked to her." I answered, feeling my heart warmer. It felt good to have that intimate feeling with Taeyeon. Especially because I could feel deep down there that I was helping her. Even if she denies, I know I'm helping her out. And it's clearly as day the difference of Taeyeon from before me and after me. "I told you. She is not what she seems."

"Hm, I still think you're dangerously too much close to her."

Yes, that's pretty much true too. "So...can you do that for me?"

"How long you'll be gone for?"

"A couple days."

"When you'll leave?"

"In two or three days time."

She shook her head affirmatively. "Hm...okay. I can do it."

"Thank you, Yuri."

"No problem, Doc."

"Yuri will be taking care of you while I'm gone, okay?"

She nodded her head. "Yeah, cool."

"You alright?" I sensed she seemed a bit troubled, as she pulled some grass out of the yard.

"Huh..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm cool." She exhaled.

"You are nervous?"

"Kinda." She replied honestly. I sighed and placed my hands on her shoulders. "It's just...It's really weird…Suddenly, you're heading to Jeonju, my hometown, to meet my sister. I don't see Jeonju in what? 10 years? Everything must be changed now. I don't even know if they still own the shop. Or even it is in the same place…"

"You want me to take pictures?" Her eyes just got bigger.

"What?"

"You want me to take pictures of Jeonju? Of your favorite places?"

"I…"

"Anything you would like to see?"

She thought about it for a while. "Maybe…. Ginger."

"Who is Ginger?"

"Our dog." My lips curved in a smile. "He likes to play with Jack."

"Jack?"

"Jack...Jack Skeleton… From...Nightmare Before Christmas." She added, hit by those memories. "It was one of my favorite toys back then. Ginger seemed to like it more than me though. It was a Christmas' gift... from my..." And her words faded away till she got silent. I frowned my brows, shaken by her behavior.

"Taeyeon? What's wrong?"

She cleared her throat. "Yeah. Ginger. Could you take pictures of Ginger? It would be nice to see it after all those years."

I nodded my head. "Yeah, sure." But my voice wasn't as happy as before. As well as hers. "You alright?"

"Yes, I'm alright."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's okay. Thank you, Doc." She quickly said it. I knew she was being honest by thanking me, but I also knew something disturbed her. The sudden shake in her voice and the silence coming shortly after were just the proof of it. I tried to ignore it and shook my head positively. "Have a safe trip." She added later.

"I'll be back soon."

"Still… Take care."

"What's happening to you Kim Taeyeon?" I asked amidst surprise by her manners towards me. Ever since we had the talk, ever since we have had sex, she seemed much more caring with me. In fact, I never could guess Kim Taeyeon could be such a caring person. Especially in sex matter. She may be a bloody criminal, but when it's about sex, Taeyeon is just the most caring and giving person I ever met. I mean, I didn't date many people to compare, but the difference between Nichkhun and Taeyeon is abysmal. Taeyeon makes all be about me. And it is amazing to feel this way. I have to consistently fight my own pleasure to not give in to those feelings whenever I see her. I have to consistently remind myself that it's illegal and wrong. And sometimes that's not even close enough to hold me back. Last night for instance, it was one of the best nights I ever had. And Jesus Christ it happened in her cell, a place completely deprived from comfort. It's quite shocking how different she actually is from her facade. Quite saddening to see it as well. Because if she showed everyone that soft side of hers, I'm pretty sure, she would have had a better time in here.

"What do you mean what's happening to me?" She blinked obliviously.

"You're different."

"Because I told you to take care?"

"You are overly caring with me."

"You'll visit my parents. I'm trying to deal with that."

That hit me. "Taeyeon..."

"But it's okay, Doc. It's fine. I dealt with shittier things than that. I just need a little bit of time."

"Is there something you'd like me to say to them?" I asked curiously. "Something you always wanted them to hear?"

There was a short silent before she says. "Not really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, pretty sure." She assured.

I nodded my head, giving her my understanding. "Okay, now, stand up, it's time to get back." I said tapping her legs.

"Can't we stay a bit more?"

"You want to stay?"

"Yeah, it's nice here."

"I thought you didn't like the sun."

"I don't. I like you."

And my cheeks blushed tenfold with that. "Easy, pink pig, or they will notice." She joked.

"Don't call me that."

"Pink pig."

"Taeyeon..."

"What?" She grinned. "What are you gonna do with me? Lock me in?"

"I could."

"Want me that much?" My eyes bulged out.

"What? No! Shut up!" She giggled.

"There's no wrong in saying, Doc."

"I'm not saying anything, just shut up. C'mon, let's go." I raised from the ground, still blushing for her remarks. She smirked and got up, following me suit.

"I know you want me."

As I finally got out of the taxi and saw the sign of their shop my heart kept beating the fastest it has ever been. I had a hard time moving my legs to approach the optic shop again after my first visit to that place. It didn't turn out well and I don't know what would their reaction be upon seeing me.

 _Keep it cool, Tiffany. You can do this._ I told myself.

I have to. Taeyeon is hopeful to see her little sister one more time. This time, I have to make it happen.

I took a deep breath and started walking, approaching the shop.

"Excuse-me." I said myself, walking in.

"May I help yo- Oh, it's you again." I recognized her sister instantly.

"I'm sorry to come back here, Hayeon."

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Leave us alone, Doctor. We are not interested in talking to you."

"I'm sorry but it's really important."

"You know, last time you said you wouldn't bother coming back here, what happened to that?"

"Taeyeon asked me this time." I replied, firmly. She sighed, showing a bit of her displeasure. "She is interested to see you. When I mentioned you, she was hopeful to see you one more time."

"Tell her that I'm not interested to see her."

I tried one more time. "Hayeon, please..."

"Look, Doctor, I already told you what I think about this situation and what's our position regarding Taeyeon. We're not interested. Now, please, go away. I have more important things to do." She said gritting her teeth to keep her voice low to not bother random people passing by.

Why she was so being stubborn?

"I'm not asking you to visit her constantly, just this time."

"Again, not interested." I exhaled, feeling my body heat up from anger and exhaustion. I tried to convey those feelings in.

"Can we talk in private?" I asked, not feeling comfortable to have that conversation there inside the shop.

"No."

"Please?"

"Whatever you have to say, I'm sure you can say it in here."

I shook my head in disbelief for how she was behaving herself. I can't believe I came here for nothing.

"Can I ask you for a favor then?" She looked away, visibly annoyed. "Could you take some pictures of Ginger?" And that's when I saw her eyes rest back up on me.

"Ginger?"

"Hum, it's the dog, isn't it? Taeyeon asked me to." She blinked, seeming to think about it for a while. "Could you do that? Please?"

"No." That angered me.

"What's your fucking problem? Why are you all always ignoring her? Why you don't even try mitigate this situation? Taeyeon is out there, lonely, suffering, and all she wants right now is to see you. All she wants right now is to see a picture of Ginger. Are you really gonna say no to that?"

"There's no other answer."

"There's no other answer? Of course there is!"

"Ginger is gone!" She interrupted me straight away. My eyes opened wider as my brain processed the information. "Ginger is gone. He passed away." She cleared her throat, a bit sorry.

Passed away. Passed away. Ginger passed away. As I felt the weight of those words, my jaw dropped, as my hand covered my mouth. Soon, tears were brought up on my eyes. "He passed away...four years ago."

Oh, shit.

"I'm sorry to tell you this way." She added. "But...he's gone."

It took me while to regain my awareness back. It took me while to really understand what that meant. All I could feel was the numbness on the tip of my fingers.

" _I felt like everything was twisted and distorted. I felt like I didn't belong there anymore. I was far away from them for so long and I missed so many things that happened there that I was a sort of alien."_

"Ginger is gone?..." I muttered, wondering how miserable she would be feeling when hearing those news. "Poor Taeyeon...I can't believe it..."

Silence was soon brought up in the space. I gulped, feeling hurt for Taeyeon herself. How come I will tell her that?

"Doctor Hwang?" She called me after a while. She looked at the floor before waving her hand. "Come with me."

To be in her car while she was driving me somewhere unknown was a very strange feeling. I didn't even feel like I was moving despite being in her car. It was as if the Earth have stopped spinning and everything was trapped in time. This could be Taeyeon. It could be her driving herself home. It could be her going back home after work. It could have been her, enjoying her time finally free from the walls she always had for company. But that was just her sister.

As the finally stopped in front of a common house, I knew what was going on.

"That's home." She said before me. I couldn't say a word still. "You want to take pictures of it?"

I didn't know what to say. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"She asked me for Ginger's. She didn't say anything about the house."

"If she wants to see Ginger, doesn't it mean she misses home as well?"

"It's complicated."

"How so?"

I sighed. Nodding my head, I unzipped my bag, retrieving the tape from Taeyeon past interview with me. "Could you listen to this?"

"What's that?"

"One of Taeyeon's sessions with me." She stared at the tape. "This is the first time Taeyeon has ever talked to me about her childhood. And in this particular time, she talks about her relation with your parents." I saw her looking away. "Hayeon, listen… I'm not here to make you feel guilty about anything. I'm here just trying to help my patient."

"By making me feel guilty..."

"No." I denied. "You're arguably the most innocent person in all of this. You were just a child when everything happened and you always had your parents behind your back. Taeyeon lost that when she went to Seoul." She stood quiet. "And she never got it back. She lost her parents and she never got them back. She lost Ginger...and she never got it back." I saw her sniffing. "But not everything is lost. She can still have you back."

The silence made me ponder if she was actually giving in. "I told you, Doctor Hwang, we are not -"

"It's not about 'we', Hayeon. It's about you. You're an adult now. You have your own choices."

"What do I win with this?" She shrugged her shoulders. "What's gonna change if I listen to it?"

"You will have the chance to understand her. To know her feelings. Taeyeon is not what she seems to be. She's not what you think."

"She'll blame my parents, Doctor. She'll blame them and it's not fair. It's not their fault."

"I don't think this is about justice anymore, Hayeon. What is done it is done. It's just about your sister wanting to see you one more time." She stood silent again. "Now that's Ginger is gone...you seem to be the only thing Taeyeon takes as a precious memory."

"That's not possible. We are not that close."

"You can start to be."

For a moment there, I felt I was getting inside her. I felt like she was really thinking about it. My heart was beating fast in contentment. C'mon, Hayeon, just say it.

"I'm not interested." My heart just squeezed itself. "I'm sorry, Doctor, I don't think it is for the best to see Taeyeon."

"Hayeon..."

"I told you. I'm good this way. We are good. Why change it? We've moved on. Taeyeon moved on. And we've been living this way for a while now. There's no reason to screw that up."

"It's not screwing up. It's fixing."

"I'm sorry, Doctor… somethings cannot be fixed."

"You're not even trying to."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not." I said bitterly. "You're not sorry."

She exhaled, tapping her fingers around the steering wheel. "You sure you don't want to take pictures of the house?"

"Yes."

"Anything? Her bedroom or anything?"

"No." She nodded her head. As soon as she got the engine of the car on, I spoke myself. "Can I get something instead?" She frowned her brows. "There might have a thing Taeyeon would like to see."

"I'm sorry, Taeyeon..." I left it out. "I'm really sorry."

"You okay, Tiffany?" Yuri asked beside me, placing her hand over my shoulder. I shook my head.

"How are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't know."

"She's been weird these days."

"Weird?" I frowned upon that.

"Hm."

"What you mean weird?"

"Kinda nice." I saw her chuckle shyly. "It's weird to see it." She chuckled. "So, anyway, you ready to go in?" She asked, pulling the keys out.

"Not really." I replied. She squeezed my shoulder giving me some support. As she unlocked the door of her cell, all I could do was listen to the thuds of my heart.

"Doc! You're back!" It was her greetings as I walked in alongside Yuri at her cell. "How was it? What did she say?"

The silence that came shortly after was enough for Taeyeon to rip the smile off her face.

"Doc?"

"I'm s-sorry, Taeyeon..." I tried not to cry in front of Yuri.

"..."

"I'm sorry… But she...she's not interested."

Her expression made me hate myself. Her eyes quickly traveled downwards. She nodded her head, rather lifeless.

"Yeah, of course." She tried to not bother it. "What was I thinking?"

"Taeyeon..."

"Of course she wouldn't like to see me..."

I stared at Yuri, looking for any support coming from hers as well, but she stood quiet.

"I've should known..."

"I'm sorry, Taeyeon…" She sat on her bed, looking at the floor. I never felt so sorry for someone in my entire life.

"It's okay, Doc. It's not your fault."

"Still..."

"Don't worry, it's okay. I' m fine."

"No, you're not."

"It doesn't matter now, Doctor."

"Taeyeon…"

"It's okay, really. I'm fine."

"We could help, Kim."

"No, you can't!" She put it angrily, raising from her bed. My heart just skipped as I saw her behavior. "You can't really help, officer, and you know why? Because there's always someone stopping me from getting any help!" My eyes got watery as soon as I saw her watery eyes as well. "It's been always like this. It's always...'almost there'."

"Taeyeon..."

"How many almost there needs to happen for me to finally get what I want? HUH? I should learn by now that Devil himselft will always have me as his companion for life! Yay! Let's cheer for Kim Taeyeon, his favorite toy!" She grinned opening her arms wide. Yuri stepped back for a moment. Taeyeon giggled sarcastically, using a fake cheerful tone on her voice. "Yeah, let's laugh at my little fella Kim Taeyeon one more time! Let's all laugh at her failing again and again and again!"

My ability to speak just vanished upon seeing her like that.

"It's been like a curse, I swear...bad day after bad day after bad day..."

"Taeyeon..."

"It just...never ends."

"Taeyeon...listen, We can help!" I said, trying to calm her down.

"What about your friends?" I heard Yuri ask suddenly. "You said you had some friends out there… Isn't anyone interested to see you?" Taeyeon didn't answer. "Isn't there someone else you would like to see?" Still silence.

"It doesn't matter now." She shook her head.

"Of course it matters, Taeyeon!" I replied at once. "Look at you, you were so happy expecting to see your sister… What about your friends? Your best friend?"

"My best friend?" She chuckled, thought it seemed a bit coldly.

"Yeah, what about him? What about Heechul-Oppa?"

But I should have been quiet. I should have stitched my mouth so it would prevent me from say what I am not supposed to. The instant that name slipped from my lips, I regretted immensely.

A dreadful silence cut short in the place. Yuri frowned her brows as Taeyeon stood there immobile. Slowly Taeyeon turned her gaze to me, in the coldest glare I ever did see. It was intense it gave me goosebumps. She stepped closer to me, without dodging her gaze, staring at me like if it was staring into my own soul. Yuri for some reason decided to be quiet and I couldn't speak as I seemed to lose that ability for that moment.

Each step from Taeyeon coming near me, I stepped backwards, till I couldn't go backwards no more because there was the wall there forbidden me to run away from her. The feeling of claustrophobia was so intense, I had to turn away my face to the other side and close my eyes.

"I.." I tried to convey my words but I stopped immediately. My eyes easily got teary.

"Inmate…?" I heard Yuri's voice drowned in confusion.

My heart just beating wildly inside my chest as I felt her breathing in my ear. "Don't. Call. Him. Oppa." The instant those words came out of her mouth and hit my eardrums, my whole body shook. "He's not. Your. Oppa."

"I-I'm s-sorry..."

"Of course you are." She brushed some strand of hair behind my ear. Something about the way she was speaking and acting was scaring the hell out of me. "Because you...won't say that word again, will you?" I nodded, my eyes still closed for the extreme feeling of confinement. "Good." I gulped feeling the tears on my cheeks.

"T-tae..."

"Shh..." She pressed her index finger on my lips, silencing me. "Let's not make this difficult for both of us, okay?" My body was all alert, aware of the danger in her voice, her speech and her manners. "Now… Tell me. Sooyoung or Amber?" My heart clenched. I shook my head, as if saying 'I don't know what you're talking about'. I did know though. I just couldn't say it.

"Hey, inmate… stay away from her." I hear Yuri say firmly.

"We are just talking here, officer. A private conversation between doctor and patient, isn't that right, Doctor Hwang?" I left out a whimper when she called me Doctor Hwang. Please, don't. Call me toots, call me Tiffany… call me anything but Doctor Hwang.

"She doesn't seem like she feel comfortable with you like that."

"She does. Doctor Hwang here..." And she tapped my cheek with her hand. "She's... _way too comfortable_ with me! Can't you see? How intimate we are?"

"Stay away..." I heard Yuri raise her voice.

"Or maybe you should leave, officer." Please don't. Don't leave me, Yuri. "Because I want to talk to Doctor Hwang."

"She doesn't want to talk to you."

" _It's not about what she wants, officer, it's about what she needs."_ I gulped feeling her words weight on me. The same words I used to tell her all the time when she refuses to do something I tell her to.

"Last warning! Stay away or I'll shoot!"

I felt Taeyeon stepping backwards, giving me space to breathe again. As soon as I felt my body relieve, I opened my eyes, wiping my tears away.

"Tiffany, are you alright?" Yuri asked me worried. Maybe because I was definitely paler than ever.

"She's alright, officer, we're just sharing some... _secrets. Friend to friend."_

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why you're like this? Who is Heechul-oppa?"

I wish I've could tell Yuri to not speak that name. Taeyeon scoffed ironically. "And here I am… by the company of the devil again!"

"Taeyeon..."

"Do you see these hands, Doctor Hwang?" She opened her hands at her sides of the head. She wiggled her fingers, calling for attention to each one of them. "Sometimes...they have...awful urges… you see..." I gulped, feeling anxious. "So strong, I can't seem to control them whatsoever. If they want to punch they will punch. If they want to smash heads, they will smash heads." I blinked.

"The voices in my head are whispering things..." I clenched my fists, feeling the sweat on my palms. "Terrible things." To say I was scared was an understatement. I was terrified. "But I'll ignore them for a while because of my affection towards you and ask you one last time… Who did tell you that name? Sooyoung or Amber?"

"Oh fuck." Yuri opened her eyes. "That's why you wanted talk to Sooyoung and Amber, wasn't it? That's why you gave Sooyoung cakes, wasn't it?" All I wanted was Yuri to shut up. "I can't believe it. Tiffany, I told you not to mess with this!"

"You gave Sooyoung cakes?" Taeyeon turned to me in her icy cold voice again. I never felt so threatened. I shook my head.

"N-no… I..."

"You gave Sooyoung cakes because she told you what you wanted to know..." Yuri completed. I closed my eyes, wanting to hide myself away from that spot immediately.

Suddenly, I heard a loud sound of applause and I raise my head, seeing Taeyeon clapping ironically. "What a _great_ doctor, you are, Doctor Hwang." Please stop. "Bribing an inmate to know information about me. Because asking me was too hard for you, wasn't it?" I felt like my heart was stabbed into a million pieces. "Because respecting my freewill to not tell you what hurt me was too hard for you, wasn't it?"

"N-no..."

"And here I am… thinking that I've finally found a good doctor." Tears streamed down my face again.

"Taeyeon..."

"Here I am...thinking that you're different."

"Tae..."

"But you're just like everybody else."

"No… I'm not!" I tried to defend myself. "Taeyeon, I'm sorry! I..."

"I trusted you..." I was devastated. "I even..." She stopped saying it. But I knew what she was refering to. "You didn't want to help me. All you ever wanted was my goddamn story so you can prove that my fucked up childhood is the root for all my issues!"

"No! Taeyeon…It's not true! I wanted to know it at first, but then, I changed. I..."

"You lied to me." She said and I felt more tears drown my face.

"No!"

"You lied to me." Her voice died down. "Like everybody else."

"Taeyeon…"

Taeyeon turned her back and walked to her bed again.

"Taeyeon, please!" The moment she sat on the bed, I went to her, kneeling myself so I could look at her eyes. "Listen… I know what I did was wrong. And I swear… I swear, the moment we got closer, I felt bad at myself for doing what I was doing. When I gave Sooyoung some food, I did because I was trying to keep my word, but I wasn't interested in knowing what she was telling me anymore. I swear. She only did tell me that name because I saved her from the SHU. I didn't ask. I didn't want to know."

"Of course you did. You always wanted to know."

I shook my head. "No…I..."

"See? Almost there?" I gulped. "Almost I have found myself a good doctor."

"Taeyeon..."

"Get out." She said icy cold.

"Taeyeon..."

"Get. Out."

"No, please, let's talk..."

"Tiffany..." I heard Yuri calling me, she was holding my shoulders, helping me to raise from the floor. "Let's go."

"No! Yuri..."

"She wants us to leave. Let's go." She pulled me away from her.

"NO! Taeyeon… please! Let us talk..."

"I don't believe in your talks anymore..."

"Taeyeon..." I was a complete wreckage. "Please..."

"Leave me alone, Doctor Hwang." I shook my head. "Just...Leave me alone..."


End file.
